"Jibun ga suki jyanai no?"
("Not liking yourself?)
Beautiful World
Chapter Eleven
"You still didn't tell me why you're going back." Rinoa groaned as she flipped through Irvine's drawers pulling out a variety of clothing articles.
While Rinoa was packing busily in Irvine's dorm, right outside on the small study table Irvine and Seifer played Triple Triad. Now, Seifer, who hadn't been paying much attention, had just lost his precious Ruby Dragon card.
He growled under his breathe, "Damnit Rinoa what are we still doing here? If you're mad at this cowgirl take it out on him. Why the hell are you packing for him?"
Irvine leaned back on his chair so that it was rocking on its back two legs. With a victorious smile, he concealed his face with his black cowboy hat and put his arms behind his head. "You know Seifer, no one asked you to be here. I'd be happier if you'd take a hike."
"Shut it Kinneas."
Rinoa put her hands on her hips and sighed. "You know Seifer, for the first time," She darted a look towards Irvine, "Irvine's actually right. If you're bored you can go." Seifer swiftly came to his feet and dragged his legs irritably towards her.
"That still doesn't answer what the hell you're doing here." He hissed.
With an innocent smile, Rinoa knelt on the ground. "Oh you know," she let out a small giggle, "Just because I'm upset with him I don't want him dying of frostbite cause the idiot didn't pack the right things." She leapt up and spun around lightly on her toes. "Then I won't have a handsome cowboy who'll listen to me all the time and you know," Her cheeks were tinted pink as she winked, "help me with other things."
Seifer groaned and without another word, he trudged out of the room and slammed the door behind him.
As Seifer disappeared, Irvine sat his chair upright and turned to Rinoa who now returned to packing his suitcase. "Is that all I'm good for?" Irvine asked awkwardly. Rinoa raised an eyebrow and slapped her head.
"Not even that much. I said most of that cause he was annoying me." She threw herself on the bed letting her legs flail beside the edge for a second as they fell. She clasped her kneecaps and looked to Irvine still sitting right outside the doorway. "Things are so weird nowadays. It's like I don't even know him."
"Psh I never knew the guy, glad of it too mind ya." Irvine said in a sarcastically.
"You know we barely talk about anything. He's always in the Training Center, and when he's not there he's with Fujin and Rajin picking on little kids." Rinoa stared off at the ceiling.
"Isn't he always like that?" Irvine shrugged casually.
"Not exactly, he's always so," Rinoa shuddered, "Angry."
"Like I said, isn't he—"
"NO he's not!"
She stood up and placed on her hands on her hips again. "I just know there's something about class that's really bugging him, and it's making him act weird about everything!" She spun around and gazed out the window into the night. "He's never talked about it, and always changes the subject. It's worrying me, Irvine."
Irvine came, hugged Rinoa from behind her, and rested his chin on top of her head. "You're worrying too much. Take it easy, eh?"
Rinoa stood still not returning Irvine's hug but still looked out the window as though she lost. "It's hard not to, I feel like we're drifting far apart. It's nothing like it was before." Her eyes remained in a daze as though she felt a feeling of regret.
With a flirtatious glint in his sparkling eyes, Irvine gently turned Rinoa about and smiled at her. His teeth were flashing white and his eyes a beautiful blue that would have any girl lost in a sweet submission. "You know," He purred in a soft melodic voice, "I prey on girls in your condition."
Slyly he brought his face close to Rinoa's ears. Before he took another step Rinoa shoved her friend away with sarcastic might. She squinted her eyes at him and made a scornful face. "You can get any girl Irvine, don't bother on me. If I really need you to cheer me up, sleeping in your bed won't be one of the ways." She batted him further away and spun her attention back to Irvine's suitcase.
Although she had batted him, Irvine remained behind her, with arms wrapped around her. "Aw come on Rin, I won't tell Seifer or anything!" He said playfully.
"I'm not kidding Irvine!" Rinoa said in a half complaining voice, "Get off of me or I'm going to stop packing for you!"
As the two argued, the front door before the study table slid open as an exhausted blonde dragged himself in. His books fell from his arms as he leapt away from its mess to contain his balance. He groaned and knelt on the ground. After reaching for a book or two, he punched the ground irritated.
"Hey Zell." Irvine greeted letting go of Rinoa. Rinoa sent a grin but returned to folding clothes and placing them snuggly into Irvine's duffel.
Zell tapped the side of his face with his index finger in a sort of wave. He collected all his books and dropped them into his room. He brushed his hands off on one another and walked to Irvine's open room. The cowboy now had sat himself beside his duffel bag while Rinoa patiently packed it.
"What're you doing Rinoa?" He asked in a confused tone.
"Just assuring something," Rinoa shook her head hopelessly at Irvine and tilted her neck when facing Zell. "I know Irvine is totally ridiculous when it comes to packing. Last time we went to Trabia he nearly froze to death. I swear I think all he packed were condoms!" Rinoa shook her head while hitting her forehead with the heel of her palm.
"Rin!" Irvine snapped.
"I mean seriously, this guy has really bad survival tactics." A giggle escaped Rinoa as she noticed a book in Zell's hands. Her face transformed in wonder as she exclaimed, "Is that Goodbye Pururun?" Her hands immediately grabbed for it as she held it in the light. "I've been trying to get this book for—ever!" She glanced back to Zell, "How on earth did you get a hold of this? I've asked that library girl, you know the one with the one pigtail in the back? Well I've asked her for this book for weeks and she keeps telling me it's been on hold!"
Zell scratched the back of his head and chuckled. "Really? Weeks?" He caught the look of boredom on Irvine's face in the back. "Oh yeah, I was just going to read that right now. I finally went to the library to check it out, so do you two mind keeping it a bit down?"
"Oh of course! Tell me when you return it so I can get it!" Rinoa said ecstatically returning the book back to Zell. The blonde happily trotted off to his room and closed the door loudly.
Irvine rested his head on the wall beside his bed with incredibly boredom while Rinoa returned to his attention. "What, do you not know anyone else who reads?"
Rinoa raised her head and looked to the ceiling in thought. "Not really, and Zell isn't the avid reader either. It's just Seifer's only interested in Sorceress and Knight books, and you—" She paused and gave Irvine a long look up and down. "Well you probably only have dirty girly magazines."
"HEY, HEY, HEY PARTNER!" Irvine jumped defensively. "I do not own any of that junk!"
With a small shrug, Rinoa zipped Irvine's bag and walked gracefully out of the room. "Alright, whatever you say. Anyways, I need to get going. Angelo's probably hungry. Get some sleep, I'll be here bright and early."
'''''''''''''''''''''
The sun itself remained beneath the horizon. The sky emitted no color, or rather the darkest one of all. It was pitch black when Irvine and Rinoa, amongst other students in small amounts left dragging bags from the gates of Balamb Garden. The march was solemn, and silent.
Irvine still didn't believe himself conscious until Rinoa's dog big his hand. When the cowboy finally looked semi-alert, the dog waved his tail happily waiting for the attention that the two sleep-deprived students failed to give. Angelo barked loudly making Rinoa smile however still no fast motions.
"Man, I didn't think this one out." Irvine chuckled rubbing his sleepy and tired eyes. Rinoa made no comment; she remained at his side for the sole purpose of being a loyal friend. It was a silent unspoken code of fidelity that whenever the other may slightly need the other, without hesitance there they would find themselves.
As children growing up in Galbadia Garden, Rinoa often had the unpleasant chance of victimization by rude, immature boys. Although Irvine loved playing alongside these very boys, he never abandoned his friend and stood up for her. In addition, Rinoa never enjoyed, rather only dreaded visiting her parent's home. For this too Irvine would cancel any prior plan to join Rinoa as support.
So therefore, Rinoa found she walking half asleep with only Angelo's barking keeping her conscious towards the Balamb train station.
"Irvine?" Rinoa asked softly with a yawn. "When does the sun rise?"
They had come into the barren town. It seemed barren and desolate. Balamb had very little nightlife and slept with its citizens. Several shopkeepers were inside the store preparing it for the day; very few things shy the hotel and train station, actually functioned for customers yet.
"Why?" He responded not even considering what the answer may be.
The train station seemingly had exceeded their capacity rate with too many people getting off, and the ambush of students trying to get on. The conductors roared loudly to order passengers about.
"I don't like walking in the dark." She said with a yawn, acting nonchalant towards the massive noise from the station. Irvine turned to her and chuckled. He slipped his wallet out and pulled 150 gil out.
"Here go sleep at the hotel for a little while, and when the taxi's are running again take one home."
Rinoa stared awkwardly at the bills. "Is that the money I gave you for your trip?" She asked somewhat cross.
Irvine shook his head innocently and bowed his head. "That wouldn't be too kind of me would it?" He tipped his hat, "I sold some Dino Bones I found in the training center and got like 300 gil. So just chill." He winked.
Content, Rinoa clasped the money and looked over to the train with conductors beckoning passengers to come aboard now. A small sigh released from her lips as she turned over to the tall cowboy. "How long are you going to be gone?"
Irvine knelt, tickled Angelo's ear, and stood straight to face Rinoa. He hugged friendly and gave her a small peck on the cheek. "It's not going to be long Rin." He waved goodbye and disappeared into the masses.
'''''''''''''''''''
The train ride was incredibly tedious without Rinoa. Although, it didn't help that the instructors started a new policy, no co ed cabins.
Irvine slept on the top bunk of the student cabin with boredom hanging thick in the air. He overheard several students beneath him scrambling with books asking about junctions.
"Str-J is best utilized with a, what kind of magic?"
"Isn't it a high leveled recovery magic?"
"No that's Hp-J!"
Their noise did occasionally irritate Irvine but he preferred using his brain cells to simply imagine something else in order to ignore them.
He spent the train remember Selphie. Where did she live? How did he get there? What was the name of the store she worked at? For a moment in time, he thought about the fountain. Surely, she wouldn't be there…
''''''''''''''''
Selphie stumbled into her small house her hands full with a pot full of snow. She dropped the pot with a clatter against her cold cement floor. "Whew!" She wiped her forehead and pushed the pot across the room to her small hearth with a fire crackling soundly.
The snow in the pot melted quickly as she transferred it to a bowl. Once the bowl was full, she poured the rest of the contents into a pitcher. The pitcher barely contained any contents. With that acknowledged, Selphie grabbed her pot and strained to get it outdoors again. She went behind her home where there lay unscathed piles of white and scooped armfuls into her pot.
Her work was finally done she closed her door and rested by the hearth. She breathed in heavily; winded by the labor she had no strength for.
In retrospect, her home was actually bigger than she ever needed. It used to belong to someone much more well off than she. All she used was the few feet in front of her hearth. There was a pad and blanket, an old suitcase with clothes, and a few dishes. The empty square room shack was desolate and empty.
Selphie hummed merrily as she pulled out a small package of buns and slid one out carefully. She so carefully spent half of her hard earned pay the package of three buns. There were a few other food articles saved in a hole in the wall behind the hearth, but today Selphie had been craving these buns.
She sipped her water, slightly warmed from just being melted, but still too cold to drink comfortably. Selphie placed her water down, bit in to her bun, and sat happily chewing it slowly and softly.
The wind howled like a wolf mourning to the moon. It ferocity shook the small home harshly. Selphie paid no mind as she swallowed her first bite. Snow leaked in unwanted, dripping down the walls. Selphie bit in to her second bite. Like a bolt of lighting, the door swung open and slammed against the wall.
Selphie leapt to her feet, bun still in hand. It was a common event to be robbed. It occurred several times to Selphie, and being the helpless one she is, she surrendered her current food and money every time. It often proved to her advantage, robbers who knew she was this way would refuse to let any muggers come near her. Tonight however, Selphie desperately wanted this bun. Her eyes swelled with tears as she imagined her starving stomach moaning for another week until her next paycheck.
There stood a dark tall figure in the doorway. He entered slowly and behind him closed the door. He was covered head to toe, and the dim light from the fire didn't aide any. He slowly slipped his coat off revealing a perfect black suit. It had intricate stitches comfortably styling him, custom made for his body alone. As he advanced forward, he let his hat fly to the winds that found its way through the walls. It unveiled his slick black hair and healthy face.
Before Selphie stood Mr. Devin.
"Oh Selphie," He said bowing his head politely, "it's been so long." He finished his sentence lowering his eyes.
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"Do not mistake consequence for fate."
-Kirstin Brown
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