Trust in me, just in me

Shut your eyes and trust in me
You can sleep safe and sound
Knowing I am around
Slip into silent slumber
Sail on a silver mist
Slowly and surely your senses
Will cease to resist
Trust in me, just in me

"What do you mean you can't?" I asked,turning back to face him. He was standing just a few feet away,making me feel excited and uncomfortable at the same time.

"I..."He took a step closer, "want…"He took another step…"you." He said,before pushing his lips against mine trapping me between him and counter,putting his both hands on the either sides of me.

It was nothing like Edward's kiss. But it was just as great as his. There wasn't fire nor the burning feeling rushing through my veins, but there was something just as fine as that – lust.

I didn't notice when it happened, but I was suddenly sitting up on the counter,with Jasper standing between my legs,his hands grabbing and rubbing everywhere as if he had wanted this so badly. I wondered if that were true. Did Jasper really like me? Or was I just another challenge for him?

He tasted like alcohol and sin.

I pushed him away. I was panting hard,gasping for some air and so was he. He locked his eyes with me and reached for my lips again, but I pushed him further and jumped off the counter.

"This," I began, pointing between us,"can't happen."

I grabbed two packets of chips and began to walk when his voice stopped me "She's not my girlfriend." I didn't let myself be bothered by it. It still was wrong. So I walked out of there.

"You took a while." Rose said,eyeing me suspiciously.

"Yeah, these were hard to find." I tossed her the packet of chips and Emmett immediately grabbed it.

"You look worn out." Edward was looking at my messed-up blouse. I blushed and immediately straightened out my clothes. When I looked back in his eyes,I knew that he knew. But he still opened his arms,welcoming me in to his embrace.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing much."

"Okay,guys. I don't know about you, but I'm tired." Rosalie said standing up. "Suit yourself and find a room by yourselves." She added,looking pointedly at me. I knew she wanted me to find another room because she blushed when our eyes locked and I winked at her. I was right; when she left Emmett was following right behind her.

Jasper came back in the room and sat back right next to Alice. She welcomed him with warm smile and wrapped her hand around his waist.

"Where's Rose?" He finally asked and James smirked before answering.

"She went to her room. With Emmett."

"Awesome…" There was sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"What do you guys want to do?"

"I don't know. I'm kind of tired. "James announced.

"Are you tired,Bella?" Edward shrugged my shoulders and I nodded, glancing over at Jasper. I knew what he was thinking about right now because his eyes were dark and the playful smirk was sitting on his lips.

"Yeah…" I tore my eyes away from him and looked at Edward. "Let's go."

Everyone decided to go to sleep.

Since I already knew this house like my own, I headed immediately to the farthest guest room,right at the end of the hallway. Of course,I took Edward with me showing Jasper that he better not even think about sneaking into my room.

"What do you want to do?" I asked bouncing on the bed. Edward pushed his eyebrow together.

"I thought you were tired."

"No. I lied." I patted on the spot next to me and he sat down.

"Why?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" He shrugged. "Let's go smoke." I stood up pulling him with me. The air was wet and cold and kind of refreshing. I rested my elbows on the edge of the balcony and took the cigarette from Edward.

"I like nights. Do you?"

"Yes…I mean…there is something tempting about them."

"Right? I just love it."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's been that way since I can remember. "

"There must've been a reason though."

"Maybe. . .How come we were never friends before?" I spoke after a while. I turned at Edward and the moonlight was perfectly covering his face making him looked more dreamy as usual. His eyebrows were raised probably because my question took him by surprise.

"Well,for starters you wouldn't talk to me."

"I wouldn't talk to you?"

"Yes. Whenever I tried to make a conversation with you, you would just shrug or reply poorly. So I stopped bothering." So he had wanted to be my friend before?

"Really? Because maybe I thought you was a jerk, because you were. You always called me klutz or Swan or whatever. And you played with girls. You fucked them and left them. That doesn't make you a really nice person."

"I was just messing with you,klutz. I never intended to be a jerk towards you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. And those girls you are talking about – they knew what they got themselves into. So it's not entirely my fault."

"Apology accepted. And yes, but you still shouldn't have used it. It's not nice. Maybe those girls act like they're cool about what you do, but deep inside they probably just hoped that you would change for them."

"Do you mind if I take my clothes off?" He asked,taking me by surprise once we were back in room.

"Sure." I said and walked to bathroom to get change. I always kept spare sleeping clothes at Rosalie's room and she had left those in here on the bed knowing that I would probably choose this room.

Once I was changed into my short shorts and black tight camisole,I walked over to bed where Edward was already under the covers leaning against the headboard with his hands crossed behind his head. I took in his perfect body. He looked like Adonis with his tight lean abs.

"Like the view?" he teased me pulling me out of my daze. I felt embarrassed so I quickly turned the lights off so he wouldn't see my blush.

"I was just teasing you." He spoke once I was under the covers. I felt weird feeling in my abdomen once my skin touched his. Only now I noticed how small this bed was. There was barely room for two of us.

Xzx

I didn't know what time it was, but it was still nighttime because it was so dark outside and the moon was still bright,hanging in the skies. I shifted my body to sleep on my other side when I noticed that Edward's hand was wrapped around me.

The second I moved,his lips attacked mine. I think I even gasped and that allowed his tongue travel into my mouth, exploring everywhere. He moved his body on top of mine not taking his lips away. The fire was back and the kiss consumed every part of me. I let my hands wander around his body but the only place they really enjoyed was his soft hair so I let my fingers tug onto them as he moaned into my mouth. Suddenly,I felt like I had only just woken up now when he let his hand disappear under my boy shorts. So I pushed him away.

"Edward," I panted hard. "I'm not sleeping with you."

He lowered himself back and kissed my lips one more time. For a second,I thought that he was going to completely ignore my demand as he traveled down my jaw line and my collar bone, but then he stopped and rolled off of me.

"I know. I don't want to sleep with you, either." I didn't know how to feel – offended or relieved.

"You don't?"

"No."

I moved my body away from his and turned back to my side. The sudden anger and embarrassment took over my feelings.

"Am I not good enough?"

"No. Of course you are. I just don't want to take advantage of you."

"But you kissed me." He was now on his side,with his chest pressed against my back as he wrapped one hand around my waist and snuggled his face into my hair.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Xzx

"Where are we going?" I was curious as Edward passed the 'Welcome to Forks sign'.

"It's a surprise." He simply answered,not taking his eyes off the road.

Edward was complete mystery to me.

This morning when we had woken up,he had apologized for kiss again and told me that it wouldn't happen again. I felt…disappointed,I guessed. But it wasn't as if I was crushing on him or anything, because I was not. I just really liked his kiss. I'd never felt anything like that in my life and I probably wouldn't. Now I could see what the fuss about Edward Cullen was;if he kissed like that, then he must be really great in bed.

"You know I don't like surprises?"

"Well,you will have to live through this one."

I simply nodded and sat tight in my seat. The rain had stopped and the sun was shining brightly up in the sky. I loved mornings like this – sunny. But I enjoyed rain too. I was fan of gloomy views and raindrops and of course of the wind, how he tugged on every three making them dance.

After an hour or so,I found myself standing about forty feet in the air, balanced on a wire with my both hands grabbing on Edwards shoulders.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I was afraid of heights and I still don't know how he managed to get me up here, but now that I was up there I felt sick to my stomach and scared for my life.

Edward was grabbing the wooden log in front of him. There were another few feet away and another from that and on and on.

"Come on. It will be fun. And besides you can't get off now so you will just need to suck it up and go for it."

"Are you insane?" I looked down one more time and my heart began to race from the sight. "If I die,I hope you take the fall for my death."

The ropes were tiny. Like really tiny and the only two things holding me was some safety strap and Edward. Well,I was holding onto him.

"It's going to be alright."

"If I make it out alright,I'm never talking to you again."

"Bella."

"What?"

"Just trust me."

As we began to move,I felt my legs starting to shake. My hands were still gripping Edward's shoulders firmly.

"Oh my God." I yelled when he let go of the wooden log with one hand to reach out for another. "Edward,I can't do this."

"Yes,you can. I won't let you fall,Bella." He turned his head to face me. "Do you trust me?" His voice was calm and I nodded sliding my foot further on the rope.

We were almost at the end when I started to loose balance. "Edward,I'm falling."

"No,you are not."

"Edward,I will fall and I will die."

"You won't." He grabbed the last wooden log and told me to lean onto him to steady myself. Once I felt steady again,we kept moving. As we reached the last log Edward spoke again.

"Now you have to move so you stand by me."

"Are you fucking kidding?"

"No."

After few deep breaths I moved my left foot and grabbed the log dragging my other foot quickly putting in back on the Edward's rope.

"So now you have to hold tight on this log and I'm gonna jump down."

"Jump?"

"Yes. I will jump and so do you."

"Me? Hell no!"

"Bella,that's the only way down."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No."

"I hate you."

"You don't. I will jump so you hold on tight now. When I will be down you will have to jump too. But I will hold on your rope and let you down slowly and safely, okay?" I nodded once again and watched him jump. Down there,was a guy who was holding on Edward's rope lowering him down safely.

"Are you ready?" Edward yelled up at me and I nodded again. I felt my mouth going dry and my heart beating faster than ever. I slowly moved my legs to a small wooden platform and glanced down there at Edward. He was smiling widely and showing me thumbs up before grabbing on my rope.

"Just trust me, baby." Just don't pee your pants. I said to myself before jumping off. The scream escaped my lips and my hands flew to my eyes covering the horrifying view as I was falling down.

My heart almost jumped out of my mouth but then luckily I landed on my feet and yes- I stayed on them just struggling just a little.

"Baby,you can open your eyes." Edward said in a smooth voice cupping my cheek.

"Oh. My. God." I was panting and still shaking from the fear that I was going to die.

"See." The smile on his face was priceless. "You did it." I began to laugh from excitement that I really had done it and I jumped onto Edward wrapping my legs around his waist.

"That was awesome." I admitted,looking into his emerald eyes. "But let's never do it again." He laughed along with me spinning me around.

"My little Brave heart." He said putting me back on the ground.

Xzx

I need to see you-Jasper

No. You don't. –B.

Don't do this. You know you want it,too.-Jasper

No. If you promise to stop, I will promise to forget what happened between us and we can be friends again.-B.

I'm sick of being your friend Bella.-Jasper

It's that or nothing. –B.

I set my phone on my nightstand after turning off the sound. A month ago,I had known that my heart and my body were Jacob's. But now things have changed and I was stuck somewhere in the middle of my confusion. I didn't want a boyfriend. Not right now. But Jasper kept this pressure on me.

I remember a few years ago before I started to date Jake,I used to crush on Jasper. But I had figured that most of the girls likes their best friend's brother so I had just left it alone deciding that it was probably because we spent so much time together, all three of us. He was making me feel wanted – that was what I've dreamed of for a long time, to be wanted. And now he was making me feel that way and I was not sure that I can resist him.

But then there was Edward. He had kissed me. Twice. But he was Edward Cullen – Forks biggest player. Although he was trying to make me understand that I could trust him,I somehow couldn't trust myself with him.

I knew the girls Edward had 'dated'. They were all sexy. Leggy with perfect body and easy. And when I was with him – I felt that way too. Easy. I knew I would give in at some point. But I really didn't want to. I already slept with Jasper. Kissed Edward. Kissed Jasper again and kissed Edward again.

It was too much for one girl. I knew Jake had messed me up in my head and now I was so confused that I didn't know what I felt or even if I did felt something.

The buzzing of my phone pulled my out of my thoughts.

Goodnight beautiful.-E

I smiled and replied Goodnight-B