Well, folks, it's that time again. Time for another installation of: PROMISE! TADA! Wow, 93 reviews!
She-she's coming! At me! I haven't even had any battle training yet! Please, Starclan, I'm too young to die! Whitepaw thought, frozen in fear, as the Riverclan deputy launched herself towards the young apprentice. Her eyes…like flames. It's as if I can feel their heat! Please, help me! The glowing, fiery orbs loomed closer. Her legs, like lead, were heavy, unmoving. She waited in fear as the bright eyes of her enemy consumed her…This is the end. Starclan, tell my father and sister I love them. Tell my friends I wish them luck. Tell my mother…that no matter what, I am her daughter. And that I forgive her. Whitepaw thought.
She closed her eyes, and waited. The roar of battle was muffled, mere background noise. She could only hear herself, as she counted down. Counted her seconds to Starclan.
One,
A breeze stirred her fur.
Two,
A weight crashed onto her chest. Claws dug into her skin, sharper than the brambles of the nursery. She felt Shimmerpool's hot breath on her face.
"Say goodbye, sweet." The silver cat whispered.
Three.
The weight was lifted. Chunks of fur tore from her pelt, and Whitepaw felt trickles of blood, but the stabbing pains had fled. Her golden eyes flashed open, like miniature suns. She sat up, shaking the fog from her mind. There, on the ground in front of her, Waterfall wrestled with Shimmerpool. The two she-cats slithered like snakes, completely entwined with each other, twisting and turning and sliding in a vicious dance. Waterfall's green eyes shone with malice, while Shimmerpool's burned like wildfires. Rosedust was locked in combat with Troutfur, and Swanpaw rolled on the ground with Flintpaw, snarling and scratching, natural instincts taking over, due to lack of training. Whitepaw's pelted bristled nervously. From the looks of it, Riverclan was winning. Shimmerpool had Waterfall pinned, and the gray she-cat was limp with defeat. Troutfur was dominating his battle with the older Shadowclan queen, scoring a painful blow across her flank. Hazelnose, the scrawny she-cat who had hung back originally, was now engaged in fighting Rosedust as well, her strikes strong despite her timid appearance. Whitepaw glanced from her mentor to her clanmate to her sister, torn between decisions. Finally, Waterfall saved her.
"Whitepaw! Addershriek…patrol…Thunderclan border…get help…" She gasped. Her eyes were wide and wild with desperation. "Go!" She wheezed. Whitepaw, without a second thought, darted back into the glades, grass and mud squishing under her paws as she bolted through the undergrowth. One sentence replayed through her head, over and over and over, "Addershriek…patrol…Thunderclan border…get help… Addershriek…patrol…Thunderclan border…get help…" Whitepaw ducked beneath low hanging branches, fern fronds and bushes whipping her face and stinging her eyes. She panted heavily as she raced to find the other patrol, the sound of her breathing becoming a rattling rasp. Whitepaw's paws felt heavy and slow, her legs tiring.
I haven't run so fast…so far…in forever! Actually, I never ran this hard in my life! She thought. Gasping for air, the new apprentice slowed. Pausing beneath an elderberry bush to catch her breath, Whitepaw felt like collapsing. T-the territory! It's so big! I…don't think I can make it. Everything stretches forever. Where am I? Fearfully, she scented the air. Nothing smelled familiar. Gazing around, Whitepaw saw tall pines and cedars looming above. Beside her, strange looking mushrooms and berries peppered the ground and branches. A bullfrog croaked somewhere behind her, and she jumped at the sound. I have no idea where I am! I'm lost! She panicked. Turning nervously, Whitepaw shivered. Everything looks the same. I-Is it me, or is everything coming closer? No! The forest is trying to swallow me! Then I'll never get home! Whitepaw wanted to wail aloud. Wait, no. I don't want to get home! I want to get help! Waterfall…Rosedust…Swanpaw…they're counting on me! Come on, Whitepaw. You can do this. Think. Think. The small she-cat closed her eyes. Letting only her sense of smell and heart guide her, she turned. Feeling soft, warm earth beneath her pads, the apprentice pretended she was part of the forest. Whitepaw imagined herself melting into it, becoming one with the trees, and earth, and sky. She could feel everything. And, in an instant, she knew where to go. This is what being a warrior is all about! She thought. Instincts. Once a wildcat, always a wildcat. I'm a kit of the forest. I know it. Someday, I'll know it all. Whitepaw decided. Opening her eyes, she saw before her a faint glimmer of blue between the fronds of bracken. Racing forward, she chased the light, following it as if it were the only glimmer of hope in all the Clans. Finally, through the thin pine trees, she spotted a gray and cream pelt, and, just barely, she could make out a striped brown shape winding side to side about the underbrush. Beside it moved a large golden form. With a new burst of hope and speed, Whitepaw hastened her way around the offending bushes and finally reached the patrol.
"Addershriek!" She called. The large brown tabby turned, his hazel eyes resting upon Whitepaw.
"Whitepaw? What is Starclan's name are you doing out here? You're supposed to be with your mentor! Where's Waterfall?" The tom asked, unable to mask his surprise at finding the young cat along the Thunderclan border. His hazel eyes narrowed sternly.
"We were-*gasp*-attacked. At the Riverclan border. Sent me to get help!" Whitepaw panted, the run had exhausted her once again. "I was lost, but I found you!" She added.
"Let's go." Addershriek meowed, turning to his patrol, which consisted of Quietdream and Sharpcloud. "We've got hope we're not to late!" The warrior meowed, bounding off into the depths of Shadowclan's marshy forest. Sharpcloud and Quietdream followed without hesitation, leaping after Addershriek and quickly disappearing into pine-cast shadows. Darn it! Why does no one ever wait for me? Whitepaw thought indignantly as she hurried to catch up with the patrol. Maybe because no one likes you, A tiny voice in the back of her head sneered. She growled. It sounded suspiciously like Timberpaw. You're wrong! It-it's 'cause they wanna help the others. Yeah, that's why. She reassured herself. As if! The voice laughed. They hate you, and you know it. It's plain as the whiskers on your face. Did you see the way Addershriek looked at you? That wasn't surprise. Or even annoyance. It was disgust. He doesn't like you, and never will. Rosedust? This morning she treated you like you were a stupid kit. And Quietdream and Sharpcloud? They don't like you either. They only follow Addershriek's orders because he's more experienced. Otherwise, they would've sent you home like the kit you are.
What about Waterfall? If every cat hates me, why's she so kind? And Stonetail, and Swanpaw, and Duckflight, and Goldenpaw, and Featherfall, and Hollowstar? And Barkkit? Huh? Whitepaw snapped back. The voice just chuckled.
Silly, naive Whitepaw. Stonetail and Swanpaw pity you. That's the only reason they stick around. Waterfall? You're her first apprentice. She needs to prove she isn't completely incompetent. Duckflight's just happy your screw-up got her a warrior name. Goldenpaw, her job is to heal clanmates. Especially the ones who everyone else obviously could care less about. Featherfall and Hollowstar? He's the leader. It's his duty to make his clanmates feel comfortable. He didn't want you to be the one to name his kit. You could see it on his face. He thanked you because you saved his mate. That's it. Featherfall, it's that whole 'pity the poor dear' shtick. Honestly, if it were up to her? You could go rot in a fox's den if it were between you and any other cat. Finally, Barkkit. You're the only cat who would actually befriend the little scrap. The only one stupid enough, anyway. He knows he wouldn't have a chance with anyone else, so he settles for you. Face it, Whitepaw. You'll always be the outcast. The second-best. Now, see, Swankit's a winner. She's pretty, and funny, and smart. Talented, too! You think you can compare to that? Think again, kitty. She's the one who's in charge. You? You're that lone, lonely loner. And you will always be.
"NO! NO! Shut up! That isn't true!"Whitepaw cried, stopping trailing the patrol. "NO! Those are lies! Stop it! Get out of my head! Leave me alone!" She began to cry, and hunched over, shuddering.
Alone. Alone forever. Alone. Alone. Always, forever, completely alone. Alone. Alone. The little voice nagged, chanting in a singsong voice.
"Stop! Stop it! Shut up!" Whitepaw wailed, curling up in the dead leaves that lay on the ground. She covered her ears with her paws. "Go away!"
Alone. Alone forever. Alone. Alone. Always, forever, completely alone. Alone. Alone.
"Stop! Leave me be!" Whitepaw whimpered, squirming.
Alone. Alone forever. Alone. Alone. Always, forever, completely alone. Alone. Alone.
"Please. Please, just go away." She sobbed.
Alone. Alone forever. Alone. Alone. Always, forever, completely alone. Alone. Alone.
"Please." The white she-cat whispered. "Leave me…alone."
There! You said it yourself, kitty. You're a loner. Always have been, always will be. No one likes you! The voice cackled. The maniacal laugh faded, slowly, until it was no more than an echo, a memory. Whitepaw blinked her eyes, and shook away the tears.
"It's right." She sighed. "I'll never be good enough." Struggling to her paws, she held back another flow of tears. Be strong. She thought, bracing herself for another barrage of voices. None came. "I really am alone." She whispered. Slowly, Whitepaw began walking back to the battle.
Once she returned, the fight was already over. There was no sign of the Riverclan cats, other than a fishy stench on corner of the territory. Rosedust was limping heavily, bleeding from her right forepaw, ear, and flank. Waterfall's shoulder was terribly gouged, and there were scores of clawmarks down her spine. Swanpaw had a vicious scratch over one eye, and the other was painfully swollen. Sharpcloud, Addershriek, and Quietdream escaped with nothing more than a few scratches. They were all huddled in the tiny clearing when Whitepaw arrived, with Addershriek inspecting all of the she-cat's injuries. Swanpaw looked up at the sound of her sister's pawsteps.
"Whitepaw! Where were you? Sharpcloud said you got lost when you went to find them. Did you again?" She asked. Whitepaw shook her head.
"No. They-were too fast. I couldn't keep up. And I was tired from the run there." She mewed sheepishly, not meeting Swanpaw's curious gaze. The white and silver she-cat padded up to Whitepaw, and nuzzled her.
"I was worried about you." She purred. Whitepaw wanted to smile back, but she couldn't. She doesn't really love me. It's just pity…she thought, pulling away from Swanpaw.
"What's wrong?" her sister meowed, confusion lighting in her pale green eyes.
"Nothing." Whitepaw said, voice devoid of emotion. You don't really like me. "Just tired, that's all. I want to go home."
"Oh-okay." Swanpaw whispered, backing away slightly.
"We should head back to camp. The sooner we get you three to Shyfawn," Addershriek meowed, gesturing towards the three she-cats, "The better. Step lively, let's make this quick." Whitepaw turned and followed the brown tabby, not waiting for her sister of Waterfall to walk besides. I don't need their pity. She thought. I guess it's better off if I'm alone. The trek back was long and silent. Whitepaw could feel the stares of her sister and mentor burning into her back, and didn't bother turning around. Sharpcloud and Quietdream walked at the back of the Patrol, and Whitepaw could hear Rosedust and her golden mate talking quietly. Probably about me, and how much of a nuisance I am. She thought bitterly. Once the party reached the bramble-entrance of Shadowclan camp, Whitepaw headed straight for her nest. Stonetail had padded up to her worriedly, and asked if she was all right, and told her to eat something, but she brushed him off. You never loved me. She thought. She heard Duckflight's friendly call, but walked on. You used me. She decided, heart heavy. Barkkit bounced toward her from the nursery.
"Wow, Whitepaw! You had and adventure! Look, you're all bloody! Will you tell me about it, huh? I heard papa say you ran into Riverclan, right? What did they look like? How many were there? You've gotta tell me all about it an-" He meowed, but she cut him off.
"I'm going to bed." She turned her back on her little friend, and walked away, straight to the apprentice den. She never did see the look on his face. The tiny tom looked as though he were being crushed by a thousand boulders. I'm a last resort. You're lonely. Whitepaw thought, collapsing in her nest. She heard the murmurs of her clanmates outside the den, and was about to go out and tell them about the thrilling adventure. But she remembered. Nobody likes me. I'm alone. Closing her eyes. She fell asleep.
Whitepaw's dreams were restless. She was alone in a dark forest, surrounded by foxes. Their faces were cruel, their teeth large and sharp and white. Their russet pelts glowed like crimson blood, and they slowly came closer, closer…suddenly, their faces morphed. They became the faces of her clanmates. There was Timberpaw.
"Ugly kittypet. Swanpaw's beautiful!" He sneered, his fox body taking a step forward. Next to his, the fox's face shifted into Rosedust's pink-gray visage.
"Whitepaw, you're a nuisance. At least Swanpaw is smart enough to become a warrior! You'll never make it!" She frowned. After her is Rainpaw, her mint green eyes shining maliciously.
"You'll never be a true Shadowclan cat! But Swanpaw will be the best." She grinned.
Last was Paledove. The pale silver queen looked at Whitepaw, face expressionless. As if she was looking at nothing.
"Daughter?" She asked, "I have one daughter. Swanpaw is perfect. Who are you?" Out of all of them, you hurt the most, mother. Can't you see me? Am I really this disposable to you? Paledove looked past Whitepaw, and the others began to close in. They smiled, whispering:
"You are nothing. You are nothing. Alone. Alone. Alone." They repeated, slowly drawing nearer to Whitepaw, Timberpaw got a inch away from her face, and he morphed. Back to a fox. His jaws open wide, exposing razor-sharp fangs. They closed around her head, and the world went black.
Whitepaw woke up. She had fallen asleep even before sunset, the glowing orb was falling behind the trees now. Its rich, orange-gold hue cast a soft, warm light over camp. Whitepaw saw the fresh-kill pile. At the top sat a large, juicy squirrel. Her stomach rumbled. She hadn't eaten anything all day. Emerging slowly, the apprentice made her way over to the prey pile. Almost there, she could practically taste the salty-sweet meat, and could almost feel her stomach grow heavier at the very thought. Then, all of a sudden, it wasn't the squirrel in her line of vision, but her sister. Swanpaw hurried toward her. Her swollen eye was covered with a sticky leaf wrap, but the other was open wide.
"Whitepaw! Could we talk? Please?" She begged.
"What's there to talk about? Look, I'm hungry Swanpaw. Could you leave?" Whitepaw growled, pushing past her sister. The silver and white she-cat stared at her sister in disbelief.
"Why are you so mean? I'm trying to help! Whitepaw, tell me what's wrong!" Swanpaw meowed, coming close to Whitepaw again. The white cat glared at her.
"Don't you get it? Leave. Me. Alone." She hissed. Swanpaw's face sunk with sadness, and then rose again with anger.
"What's the matter with you? Whitepaw, was it something I did? Something I said? Just tell me! I hate seeing you like this! This isn't you!" Swanpaw cried.
"Maybe it is me, okay? I don't need you looking out for me, Swanpaw. I'm not your kit. I don't need your help! I don't need your pity!" Whitepaw spat.
"Pity? Pity?" Swanpaw repeated, eye narrowed. "You seriously think I pity you?"
"Isn't that what this all is?" Whitepaw growled. "Some sort of pity party? You never liked me, you just felt bad for me! That's why you're so nice! I don't need that! I'm perfectly fine." A deep voice sounded from behind her, worried.
"Whitepaw? Swanpaw? What's going on? Why are you fighting? Whitepaw, are you all right?" Stonetail meowed, stepping out beside his daughters. Golden eyes, so much like Whitepaw's, gaze anxiously at the apprentices.
"Am I all right? Why? Why do you ask me? I'm not a little kit, Dad. I don't need pity! I don't need your sympathy! I can deal with things perfectly fine, alone." She hissed. Then, the realization of what she said hit her. I admitted it. I said it. Maybe I really am alone. She thought, miserably, angrily. The voice, the Clan is right. I am nothing.
OKay, y'all! What're ya thinkin right now?
QOTD: What do you think of Whitepaw and her little conscience?
Anyway, I'm hoping for at least 7 reviews! Let's hit 100, people! Whitepaw and Swanpaw plushies to the 100th reviewer!
-Bright :)