My Friend, My Love, My Mate
Chapter 12:
I told you that it was a bad idea to go with him.
Hermione ignored the inner voice as she lounged on her bed, still wearing the ruined dress from the night before. Tear stains trailed down her face. The lonely howl that had echoed through the forest the night before had been different from all the ones she had heard in her lifetime. It was the sound of a creature giving up on life.
He has to know what you know before he can end his life.
"That is not a pleasant thought." She groaned and rolled over. It would be days before she saw her love again. "My love?" It felt like a foreign concept to her. She had loved Ron since before 4th year, but he was one of her best friends. Friends before lovers, her mother had always told her. But this. What she had with Lupin was different.
You fell for a teacher! The inner voice cackled with laughter.
She loved Ron the way that she loved Harry. Like a brother. It was strong and unbreakable. But this. This love she felt for Remus seemed to glow. It was a light in the darkness that had become her life when she had traveled through time. Constant fear for her new friends twisted up with her dedication to not changing the time line. She had grown to love Lily and James the way she had loved Harry and Ron. Her love for Sirius had stayed strong, but she now understood the plague he had put upon the school girls. She respected his new attitude having witnessed the old Sirius.
Did I not try and go back in time to save my friends of the future? Wait, it's not my future, it is my present. This is the past! But I went back in time to try and save my friends. I am such a hypocrite. I can go back in time to save Molly and Arthur, but saving Lily and James is not ok?
Collapsing into tears again, Hermione let it all lose into her pillow. She was frustrated that she had slipped up in the end, angry that there was nothing that she could do, sad that she may never be able to interact with her friends again, and tired of everything.
He was angry. He couldn't explain it. Every fiber of his being wanted to lash out. The full moon phase was over, and had been for days. Yet, he could not bring himself from his hiding place. Surely his presence here and not at the school would not go unnoticed.
Her knowledge of Sirius had surprised him, knowing about Peeves had baffled him, the way she looked at James puzzled him, and the pure hatred for Peter shocked him. People, mostly, that she should have known nothing about being here at a new school and yet she knew much more.
But his fear of the moon, and the horror in her face when she saw the moon rising. That was impossible to know. Everyone had made an unbreakable vow with Remus himself that they would never tell a soul about his lycanthropy. Even Severus Snape. There was no way that the secret could have gotten out. So how did she know?
"Moony?" There was the voice he had been expecting to hear in the days that he had been missing from class. The growl of worry and trepidation . "You in here, Moony?"
"Yes, Padfoot. I'm here."
"Why are you hiding out in here?" Sirius came into the shrieking shack, as it had been dubbed since he had begun hiding here during the full moon, and stood at his full height, nearly a head and a half taller than Remus.
"Just don't want to leave."
Sirius raised a dark eyebrow. "You can never wait to leave this place. Though I can see why. You need a new decorator, mate." Not even a smile was elicited from his friend.
"Come now, Remy. Tell me what is bothering you. You're like my brother. Anyone who has hurt you will have the dirt pummeled out of them."
Remus gave a half smile and sighed. "That won't do this time. I know you don't hit girls."
Sirius suddenly turned serious. "What has 'Mione done to you? I swear if any bitch has hurt you!"
Shaking his head, Remus said softly. "It isn't what she has done, my friend. It is what she knows."
"What she knows?" Sirius settled back down. "Tell me she doesn't know-"
He only nodded. "She knows all right."
Hermione sat in the library, alone, as she had so many times in both the past and her present. She was researching an arithmancy paper when she heard the sound of footsteps. And they did not sound like leisurely footfalls. They stopped behind her.
The soft voice of an angel rang behind her. "Hermione, can I talk to you for a minute."
"I really need to finish this paper, Lily. Can I meet you somewhere later?"
Lily loosed an impatient sigh. "I'll be out by the Pitch watching the boys practice. Meet me out there after practice."
"Sounds good. Later Lily."
The sound of retreating footsteps faded into the distance. Hermione knew that the talk was going to be serious, and that the privacy of the pitch after practice was probably the best place for it. No doubt, Lupin had told his friends about her. There would be plenty of questions to answer.
As she tried to draw out her report, she realized that it was complete and anything better would draw more attention to herself.
Not that you haven't done that already.
Not in the mood to be harassed by herself, she packed her bag and took it upstairs to the dorm and then made her way out to the Quidditch Pitch where the boys were still up in the air practicing.
She sat in the stands, letting her mind wander, not letting it focus on any one thing because it all hurt so much.
Soon, three shadows towered over her causing Hermione to look up out of her daze.
"What do you know?"
Was there really a point in playing dumb at this point?
She opened her mouth and spilled out everything she knew about Lupin from what he had confided in her. Greyback's bite, Dumbledore's sanctuary in the Willow and the Shrieking Shack, the fact that Snape knows.
She looked up into the eyes of Lily, James, and Sirius wishing that instead she were looking into Remus' soft grey eyes. What a comfort it would have been to see the eyes calm and loving as she had seen them so many times before.
"But how?" Sirius' voice was gruff like a landslide. It appeared that he was barely controlling his temper, which Hermione could understand.
"I-" Hermione started to say as tears streamed down her face.
"Hermione and I have things to discuss." The voice she had been longing to hear came from behind her. She had been hoping to hear it so much that she swore she imagined it until James took Lily's hand and led her and Sirius away.
She began to turn, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. "Everything. You promised."
"I don't know where to start." She sobbed.
"At the beginning."
Still not knowing where the beginning was exactly, she began talking. "I was 12 when I got my letter to Hogwarts. Me, a Muggle who knew nothing about magic. I had always had a fascination with fantasy books and when I found out that it was real I was ecstatic. I began reading my text books long before school started, finding it all fascinating. By the time I got to school I was already reading the second year text books for a second or third time. Being a Muggle, I surprised most teachers. Except Professor Snape. He hated me. Calling me a know it all."
"How is it that you got here when you were 12 but I didn't know you?"
"You said to start at the beginning, so I am. All questions at the end, please." Hermione said trying to turn around, but again was stopped. "I met my two best friends, Harry and Ron in my first year and we had some pretty amazing adventures that you wouldn't believe even if I told them to you, so I will skip past them. It was my third year that I met you, Remus. You were filling the Defense Against Dark Arts position."
"A teacher?" Remus muttered, but Hermione ignored him.
"You were out sick a lot. It didn't add up until Snape, who was substituting for you one week, assigned us all a paper on Werewolves. Being the bookworm that I was, my research was thorough. I knew you were a werewolf. But you seemed to have things under control and you were no threat. It wasn't until the end of the year that… I'm sorry I have to skip ahead so that you know why there are things I cannot tell you."
There was a moments pause before Remus squeezed her shoulder to have her continue. "In what would have been the first day of my 7th year, there was an attack on Grimmuald place by the Death Eaters." His grip tightened on her shoulder. He obviously knew of the group. "There were a lot of casualties. I got scared and apparated Ron, Harry, and myself away to save them. I had watched so many close to me die already that I could not stand to see them die too. My mind was not in the proper place. I wanted to save the unsavable. So I snuck into the school and stole the only remaining time turner from McGonagall. But she was under the Imperius Curse," another tightening of his hand. It was painful now, but she continued on anyway, "and she tried to kill me with the Killing Curse. It shattered the time turner. I woke up here, in your time. So I can't tell you the whole story. It will change the events of history. Please forgive me."
She broke down and cried both from emotional release and the grip on her shoulder. She felt the grip loosen and then his arms wrapped around her. "I forgive you, Hermione. How could I not, when you hold my heart?"
Could this be the truth. No one had ever traveled through time. It was a paradox. If the time line changed then the person who had traveled through time would have had his or her own time line changed to the point where there wouldn't be a need to travel through time. That person may not even exist!
How else could he explain her knowledge of him and his friends? Could she be a Seer? Able to see the future? But they were mysterious, the glimpses brief and not always accurate. She knew things no Seer would look for. Insignificant details. Or could They see that kind of stuff? It was too much for him to think about. Time travel seemed to be the only explanation that didn't make his head hurt too much. Why would she lie?
It was a long time before Remus spoke. "Can I ask you some questions?" Hermione nodded. "Why do you look like you love James?"
He could feel her smile. "He looks just like his son, Harry."
"And you love Harry?" He was prepared for the worst.
"Like a brother maybe. He is my bestest friend in my own time."
Remus could feel a smile growing on his own face. "It is good to know that their son will have such a good friend as you." He hugged her tight. "And Sirius?"
"He doesn't act the way he does now. He's…. lets just say he lives a hard life."
"Peter?"
"Can't answer that question," she whispered through gritted teeth.
"Fair enough." He paused. "You have to answer this one as it pertains very little to the future. Why did you pull away when I kissed you?"
There was silence that stretched on for several minutes. He was about to ask the question again when she spoke.
"I love you. That is why I pulled away. Loving you is a big no no. I shouldn't have let things go on for as long as I did. I don't know if I can ever get home, so I might be stuck here and I should make the best of it. But what if being here with you changes the events in history?"
He hugged her close. He loved her too. How it happened, he was unsure. She had crept into his heart and now he didn't ever want to let her go. She knew his deepest secret and that was not why she had withdrawn from his kiss. She loved him and accepted him the way he was.
"I love you too, 'Mione. If just being here is changing history, perhaps we can rewrite it with a happy ending for you and me."
She turned in his arms and kissed him passionately. All of his pain was forgotten. He had everything he ever wanted right here in his arms.
His love of Lily could not even compare.
A/N: The truth is out! Coming down to the final chapters remaining. I hope you have enjoyed the turn of events!