I'll never catch up to you
Who sleeps so sound
My arms are useless
My heart beats too loud to go to sleep
My mind's too proud to bow out
While you were sleeping
The time changed
All your things were rearranged.

While You Were Sleeping, Elvis Perkins

Chapter 12: Memories

I first met Itachi-Sama when Father died.

I mean I had met him before, since Father and Fugaku-Sama were cousins. Father was Madara-Sama's grandson, and Fugaku-Sama was his great grandson. It that made Itachi-Sama and I third degree cousins. But the moment I really remember our heir was that day. I was five, and about to start the Academy in a few months.

Father died in our house. He had been sick for a while. I think Brother knew that, because he wasn't around. I was alone, tending to Father. Suddenly he wasn't breathing, his eyes weren't following me. He just stopped. Something inside me stopped at that moment.

Father didn't like me. Father often said things that hurt. Father thought it was my fault Mother died. Yet, I loved him. I loved how clumsily he would fix a yukata around me. I loved when he told me stories about old times. I loved how we stuck together, him being the old man and I the toddler.

Suddenly Father wasn't there anymore. I found myself paralyzed. I didn't know what to think. Should I be sad, angry, afraid? I had no idea. I hadn't anticipated that. Father was a fixed point in my universe. He was simply there. I was happy he was there. I was sad he didn't like me. I was angry he punished me. I was impressed by his skills. I was showing him mine.

I loved Father.

I hated Father.

Father. Was. Dead.

I didn't know what to do.

Suddenly Itachi-Sama was there behind me. I looked at him and didn't move. My eyes were dry, even though my lips might have been quivering.

"What should I do?" I asked the boy.

I hated how still my voice was. Father was gone. I have given everything to Father, so Father had taken everything with him. Father was so selfish. Itachi-Sama said nothing. He just wrapped his arms around me. I didn't cry. I couldn't cry. Because Father was gone. Itachi-Sama never said anything. He didn't judge me, didn't want anything from me.

He offered me his warmth. I took everything.

I didn't feel it.

I opened my eyes and sat up. I felt confused. I was dreaming of a house too big for Father and I. I remembered the creaking floorboard, the warmth of his old grey yukata, the lingering smell of tobacco…

"Yanagi-Nee, are you alright?" Sasuke-Chan asked.

His voice immediately called the image of a happy little boy to my mind. An old playmate I had seen through his brother. I remembered Itachi-Sama's warmth, the protective arms he had put around me.

Father was… Father was….

I shook my head. This happened almost nine years ago! I had to focus on the present time!

Drip. Drip. Damn! Was I still having troubles with my Mangekyô Sharingan? I looked at my hands. It was too clear to be blood. I felt like my head was spinning. I was crying. I was in grief.

I looked around me. I was in Ino-San's living room apparently, and someone had laid me down a couch. I didn't know how long I had been asleep. All my friends had apparently been involved in a game of Go fish. Lee-San's hand was still suspended in mid-air, gauging Ino-San's hand.

Ino-San? But… she had my face… Was I dreaming?

"You don't seem to have any fever…" Tenten said, landing a hand landed on my brow.

"She may have had a nightmare, Ino-San explained. "She just had an intense experience with my great-aunt, and I can tell you she digs things up."

"A dream?" Sasuke-Chan remarked.

We exchanged a glance. I knew what he was thinking about. I shook my head. No I hadn't thought of what had happened. I hadn't been impaled on a sword while sleeping. It was a nice change for a while. My cousin relaxed a bit, but he remained tense. Most of the people in the room were embarrassed by my reaction.

"Do you want a moment alone?" my friend asked.

I shook my head.

"Things will go. Eventually." I said.

"Are you trying to forget what you saw?" Ino-San remarked. "That's a very bad idea, you know."

I glared at her.

"Do you think I wish to talk about what I saw?" I spat.

"That's called sharing." She retorted on the same tone.

"I'm sorry but I think we've shared too much with each other already." I said with a steady voice. "Besides, these are way too personal."

The couch moved under me as Tenten sad by my side. She took my hands in hers. What was she doing?

"I understand that you're distraught, but don't worry Yana-chan. Everyone here is your friend; don't you agree?"

I scanned the room. I didn't have the same amount of trust with everyone in the room. I didn't know if I could tell anything to Ino-San or Sakura-San, after all we'd only been hanging out for half a day. I trusted my teammates, but I didn't want them to look down on me if I told them about Father. As for Sasuke-Chan, I wanted to be strong. I didn't want to be that spineless girl I had been before I started going to the Academy.

What I knew is that I couldn't tell them here. We were in the Yamanaka compound, and I had no idea who might be listening to us. If the person I was supposed to spy on was as dangerous as depicted by the Hokage, then I had no will to do such a thing.

I cleared my voice and steadied my mind.

"I can't do this now." I said. "I mean not in this place, nor in this body."

"Do you have anything against that body of mine?" Ino-San asked dryly.

"Well you're smaller and thinner than I am, so I don't exactly feel comfortable. And there's all these sensing abilities you possess. I suppose you find yourself cut off the world in my body."

She put a finger to her lips, seemingly thinking about what she felt.

"Actually… It's more like the sensation is weaker than in my body. As if you hadn't awakened it enough yet." She said. "I didn't know the Uchiha clan members were sensors though."

"We usually aren't." I said. "It's more that we can see chakra through our dôjutsu, but not precisely."

"Then I don't understand why people complain about your chakra control. If I can do a bit of sensing though your body, so can you."

"Let's say I am focusing on other areas than the purity of my chakra for now." I said.

"So that's why you don't do blue flames anymore…" Sasuke-Chan thought out loud.

I frowned, looking at him. He knew about those? I had only tried a few times, and only shown Brother. That day Shisui-Nii asked me if I was showing off, and I decided that being less of a prodigy would make him come back home.

"Blue flames?" Lee-San said. "That's so cool!"

"I don't really understand. Your Katon Jutsu have always been red. And what does it have to do with chakra control?" Neji-San asked.

"Er… How can I explain that…?" I pondered.

"Katon?" Sakura-San asked.

"Fire chakra nature." Sasuke-Chan explained. "It's a speciality of our clan."

"Chakra can have different nature?" she asked again.

"Ok, let's start with the basics." I said. "Chakra is formed by mixing physical energy and spiritual energy together. In everyone's body, these chakra flow through the meridians. You could say that chakra are tiny particles of energy. In order to perform a jutsu, you have to input a will inside your chakra and release the right amount, right?" I said.

"That's what we're taught in the Academy." Ino-San said.

"We were?" Lee-San remarked.

"I still can't believe you've graduated." Tenten sighed.

"They needed to balance the teams. With me as top student, they had to choose a commoner with no talent, that was for sure." Neji-San said.

"What did you just say!" Lee-San yelled right after.

"Good luck this week, you're gonna need it." I said to the girl who had switched with me.

"How are you coping with these guys every day!" she complained.

"Could you explain what happens with changing the chakra nature?" Sakura-San asked as she sat near me on the couch.

"I hope you're not about to hit each other." I remarked to my teammates.

"There's no need." Neji-San said. "The only one who could reach me in this room was you, and you're 'out of shape' for the moment."

"Very funny." I commented. "But you're acting more like a douche today. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing of your concern, Yanagi." He said with a slight smirk.

Neji-San's eyes quickly flickered to Sasuke-Chan. My cousin had been glaring at my teammate for a while, now. I gathered he didn't like Hyuuga. After all I hadn't been able to be nice to Neji-San until he became my teammate, and things were still awkward. But I had a feeling something happened between the two earlier this afternoon, probably when I was asleep.

I leaned toward Tenten with an interrogation in my eyes.

"Don't worry, it's a guy thing. No need to be protective of your cousin." She said.

Sasuke-Chan scowled at that.

"Whatever. What was I saying? Ah, yes. Changing the nature of your chakra is in short about changing the behaviour of the chakra particles."

"Changing the behaviour?" Saukra-San inquired.

"Yes. I don't exactly know for every chakra nature, but it's like imitating the particles in their natural state. Katon Jutsu are based on the heat you can generate with your chakra; it's a question of vibration. The more it vibrates, the more it creates heat. I suppose it's the chakra itself that changes its energy from chakra to heat. But I think there's also a great influence of the spiritual energy that can help give the shape, thanks to what our subconscious knows. I'm no expert, so I wouldn't know. Anyway these are the basics, and we still need to steady our techniques with hand signs."

"Vibrations?" Sakura-San noted. "Why does it makes heat and fire and not sound then?"

I blinked. I had never thought of this. Actually, what was sound? Because I had always done my Jutsu while blowing fire to direct the flames.

"I don't know. It's worth looking into it, though."

"And what does the colour of the flame indicates? You've spoken of the purity of chakra earlier on." She asked again.

"Uh… I think it's has to do with the waste of energy?"

"Like chakra control? When you know how much chakra is needed in which technique?"

"Not quite. It's more like I really know how to focus on these vibrations? I can't really tell. I just know my blue flames were hotter, and so more efficient. But It's been a while since I managed to make them."

"Is it hard, or is it too long to use in battle?" Tenten asked.

I looked away. I wasn't comfortable with that issue. Then I straightened my spine. I had to be Ino-San for a week. So the problems of Uchiha Yanagi would have to wait. Speaking of which, Sasuke-Chan and Neji-San had kept looking at each other with anger. I couldn't say for my teammate, but I knew my cousin. And when he was angry, he was such a pain. I had to do something.

I walked to them and patted my cousin's head. He jerked away from me, instinctively growling at me.

"Who do you think you are to…? Oh, sorry Nee-Chan." He said.

"We'll talk later." I said coldly. "For now I'd like you to behave."

Sasuke-Chan flinched slightly. He eyed Neji-San warily. I turned to the other boy whose smirk had grown larger.

"Please stop getting on my cousin's nerves. I don't know what's happening between you two, but please postpone that stupid masculine rivalry of yours." I said.

"It's not like you're in a position of stopping us, Yanagi." Neji-San remarked. "You're not used to the body you're in and you lack strength in it."

"Why are you always resorting to strength, and to who's the best? That has nothing to do here. Besides you are shaming yourselves in the Yamanaka compound. Given the situation I am in; I'd like you to stop this."

Behind me, Ino-San in my body was nodding. She was observing these two idiots competing with a look I didn't like in her eyes. She looked like she was excited or hungry. I really didn't like that. Plus, I felt like being at the end of a joke I couldn't grasp.

"Yes, Nee-Chan." Sasuke-Chan reluctantly admitted.

"Whatever." Neji-San said.

I slightly frowned. Was he trying to get on my nerves now? I stirred some of the chakra inside of my body. Oh, yes, given what the Yamanaka clan was specialized in, I could definitely try that. I crouched before Neji-San and stared at him. The Sharingan was a great help in casting Genjutsu, but I didn't need it. Itachi-San once told me it was wrong to use the same weapon over and over. Actually I hadn't taken his advice entirely, because my dôjutsu was such an advantage in all the ninja fields, but I had trained my Genjutsu without using it in the Academy. I might be a little rusty, but with Ino-San's sensing abilities, I could try and isolate Neji-San's chakra signature.

"What are you doing?" Neji-San asked with a soft voice.

"Showing you not to underestimate me." I answered and my voice was layered with chakra.

He gave me a puzzled look. It was more than enough time for me to enter his mind. I only needed a mild punishment. So I only induced fear inside of him. I knew he had a great composure, so he wouldn't have lost it in front of everyone. His eyes widened in shock. I felt him working at dismissing the illusion, but I held on. I had quite a bit of experience with my own body to know how to make it last a while in one's head without it breaking.

Finally, he bowed his head down, accepting his defeat.

"Remember, Hyuuga genius, that I never was a Taijutsu expert in the first place. You spoke of balance earlier this day, and such is the equilibrium our team reached with my techniques. I don't know what happened to you today, but I suggest you reflect on your behaviour."

"You're not my mother Uchiha." He spat back.

"I'd rather not be. And Sasuke-Chan, stop grinning behind my back. I will not have any of you shaming me more than I already am."

I felt a mild headache pounding in my head. Ino-San's chakra reserves were lower than mine. I definitely had to use her chakra more efficiently.

A heavy silence had fallen on the room after what I had told the boys. I would not allow them to put me into trouble. I wasn't in my body right now, and I wouldn't be for an entire week. In addition, I had a super-secret mission to accomplish for the Hokage, and I couldn't fail.

"Let's… play another game!" Tenten offered to relieve the atmosphere.

"Great! Let's do something youthful!" Lee-San yelled.

We played hide and sick for the entire afternoon. I admitted I hadn't had that kind of fun in a while. It allowed me to adapt to my new body and chakra system. I think I even got better at sensing chakra. That experience was really weird, like opening a door I had never had conscience of before.

That night I had my first 'real' sleepover. I had already slept at Tenten's house before, but it had always been the two of us, and she said I had another sleepover with Barajou Mai and her friends back at the Academy. No, it's a 'real' one because we're more than two people in the same room. That meant Ino-San, Sasuke-Chan and I at the beginning, but Sakura-San was there too. I think Ino-San's friend pressured her into this, but I still haven't meant that person. Then Tenten said she would stay with me after she left the Uchiha clan paperwork at her house. I think Neji-San and Lee-San might have wanted to stay, but I said no for the first, and the latter was a definite no.

So here we were, all girls and Sasuke-Chan in the same room, sleeping in futons. Since we were five, the biggest room was the living room. I could see the stars through the large windows. We suggested Sasuke-Chan slept in another room: he really seemed embarrassed by having girls in pyjamas around him.

In the depth of the night, in the fake intimacy the dim light gave, we started to talk about different stuff. Sakura-San told us how difficult it was at school since she didn't have many friends, except that Nara guy and Ino-San. I told her of my own difficulties after our clan died, and Sasuke-Chan silently agreed. Tenten told us about her life in a civilian background, and how hard it was to find people accepting her when she only wanted to be a kickass kunoïchi.

"So, Yanagi-Senpai. Tell us everything about that sexy Hyuuga." Ino-San suddenly said.

"Neji-San?" I asked.

"Yes, Neji-Senpai. Are you dating him?" she asked.

Sasuke-Chan coughed harshly near me, choking on his own saliva. For my part I was wondering why everyone was thinking there was anything between that guy and I. Was it the way he acted? I hadn't noticed anything weird. It couldn't be me. And if it was, I could only blame my hormones. Stupid puberty!

"Of course not!"

"For real? But he's such an eye candy!" she insisted.

Well I couldn't blame her. Neji-San was indeed handsome for a guy, I had to give him that. He wore long black hair; a fashion I had been used to in my own clan.

"You can have him." I replied. "I'd be glad to have you stop flirting with my cousin."

"Hn." Sasuke-Chan agreed.

"Yanagi has never been interested in Neji. That's for sure." Tenten commented.

"That's so bad! You'd have made a beautiful couple!" Ino-San crooned.

I snorted. Yeah, right! I get it, we were both from powerful clans, and about the same age. I wouldn't have been surprised to have my clan considering the boy as an adequate suitor. Except that our clan members rarely married with outsiders, and that our dôjutsu might not be compatible. Plus, I was of a high lienage and rather talented, it was sure I'd have been married inside the clan. Probably with Tekka-San, or another policeman with an active Sharingan.

"Don't you snort! I know you would." Ino-San insisted.

"Can we speak of something else?" Sasuke-Chan hissed.

"Is there something wrong?" Sakura-San worried.

"It's nothing. That guy just gets on my nerves." He muttered.

"And I'm quite sure Sasuke-Chan is getting jealous!" Tenten mocked. "How cute! He doesn't want you to date Yanagi!"

"Shut up!" he growled. "And don't 'Chan' me! It's not because you're Nee-Chan's friend that you can do that!"

"Look at him! He looks like an angry cat with his hair sticking like that." She laughed again.

I giggled. She was exactly right. He gave us an outraged look! Ino-San looked thoughtful.

"I still don't understand what you two have against Neji-Senpai."

"I'm not the type to fall in love with anyone else's look." I replied. "His temperament is horrible. Quite like Sasuke-Chan's at some times, so I can manage. But cocky males who pride themselves in being the best makes me want to puke. He's just so narrow-minded!"

"Of course, a guy who can't discuss the last book you've read wouldn't be interesting." Tenten sighed.

"That would be my guy!"

"I was being sarcastic, you bookish training freak!"

"Shut up weapon maniac."

She threw a pillow at me. I retaliated in kind. A fight ensued right after that. It was only after Yamanaka Nana came to rebuke us that we calmed down. In the end only Ino-San and I were punished. Apparently I was the one who had started the fight, and she was squishing Sasuke-Chan with her body when her mother entered. So here we were sitting in seiza in the corridor while the others were sleeping.

"You're sure you're not dating Neji-Senpai?" she whispered once we were alone.

"Why are you insisting on that?" I scowled.

"Because Neji-Senpai really seemed to care about you. Everyone thought there was something going on between you."

"Sorry to disappoint you. I have other things to focus than boys."

"Kami-Sama! What century do you think you are living in, Senpai? Every girl thinks of a boy; it has to be! Maybe you're in love with someone else."

"I'm going to disappoint you again, but I don't think I can actually fall in love with anyone."

"How so?"

How I found myself talking to her about Father, I can't explain. I had the lowest of that girl all day, yet I found myself talking to her about stuff I hadn't told anyone. Talking about things I had forgotten because they hurt me so much.

Father had taken everything from me. He only left an empty shell running after Brother. But it wasn't the same anymore. Sometimes I felt alive. Sometimes I really had feeling. But it was just a fleeting thing; it never lasted.

I was an empty shell of a crazy girl. Such a fine weapon for the village!

"But you'll never date? Ever?" Ino-San inquired.

"I probably will. I know my body and I know my hormones. I'll have to learn about these things one day, especially if I am sent on seduction mission."

"I'm talking about being loved, Senpai! Don't you want that?"

I remained silent for a while.

"It kinda freaks me out; being loved that is. It means sharing something with something else, and I have no idea what I can give in exchange of someone's feelings. Besides, there's not much importance. When I'll be of age, I'll probably marry who suits me the best. That is how I'll make my clan survive."

She seemed frozen into horror.

"Why are you making that face, Ino-San? Did you honestly thought Sasuke-Chan and I would have any choice in the person we'd marry later? There's no love in the country we live in."

"How can you say such things?" she muttered, a shocked expression on my face.

"I'm only stating what's true." I replied.

She gazed at me. In the dim light, my own eyes stared at me with intensity. It felt weird. Did I ever have such an expression on my face?

"Don't you have feelings for other people? Are you just able to copy the expressions I showed while walking around?" she almost hissed.

I blinked at her, not understanding what she meant. Of course I had feelings for other people.

"I don't understand where this conversation is going. I have feelings for my relatives of course, and surprisingly for you but that must be because you're wearing my face and I'm on your body."

"You really have no clue, don't you?" she said.

"About what?"

She suddenly took my hands in hers.

"You need help, and I am going to offer you mine."

"… okay?"

"Follow me." She said.

She stood up. I followed, cringing at the pain in my members. She violently opened the door of the room where everyone was asleep. Tenten immediately went to her feet, followed by Sasuke-Chan. Sakura-San stirred and groaned, still half-asleep.

"Everyone! We have an important mission to do! We're going to bring Yanagi-San's feelings back!" Ino-San exclaimed.

"Great! I think I like you, girl!" Tenten replied on an enthusiasm tone.

I blinked, then raised a hesitant hand.

"Er… I never asked for this, you know?" I said.

"I figured as much." Sasuke-Chan muttered. "But for once Ino is right."

"Oh, not you too!" I groaned.

"I told you that you had changed. You were a cheery person in the Academy." Tenten added.

"Now it's time to think of a plan!" Ino-San said loudly.

"No, now it's time to go back to bed and shut up!" Yamanaka Nana muttered behind us.

I saw my body jerk in fear. I didn't flinch. I had sensed her coming from behind me. Very useful those sensing abilities. I might miss them after we've regained our bodies. Reluctantly we laid down on our respective futon. After the women left the room, a heavy silence fell. I heard the people around us fall asleep. Or rather I could sense their chakra signature change from the awaken to asleep state. It was fascinating.

Then I watched the stars above. They were beautiful. I felt drawn to them…

I entered the Academy about six months after father's demise. I remembered the forty days of wake and the cremation after. The smell was lingering in the back of my head, filling me with unpleasant thoughts. It was winter, and the freshness of snow couldn't erase the smell of burnt flesh.

Cherry trees had blossomed when I first entered the Academy. My stepmother had told me to be friendly with everyone. Especially with Itachi-Sama who went to school in the same time as I did. He was 7 or 8 at that time, and I was only 5. Two years and a half older than me, and he was already the best in his school. Even Brother hadn't achieved that, and he was a genius too.

People wanted me to do great things as well.

I didn't think I could. Be great or friendly, or whatever. I felt like walking around with that hole in my chest.

Yet, even though I couldn't feel it properly, there always was Itachi-Sama's hand around mine. Brother didn't like that, and it hurt. It hurt, but at least I felt something. So I held onto this hand, because it brought the pain back, because it proved me Father didn't take everything with him.

But after a year, Itachi-Sama didn't go back to school. He still got me there for a while, between his missions. We talked a bit, but I never remembered what he would say. I was starting to be used to this gape inside of me. Somehow it was easy to fill it with cold knowledge. I used to be a dancing flame, but I learned the ninja rules. Ice could feel a person, it helped me walk.

There were only little things that kept the remains of my soul alight. Father was no more. Father died. But Father had loved Brother, and Brother used to love me. I knew there was things I could do to reach Brother. If Father had been my king, then Brother was my knight. So I kept him on his toes. Maybe if he was angry enough, he'd blew this dragon he had vanquished Itachi-Sama with.

Brother liked Itachi-Sama. Brother didn't like Itachi-Sama. I couldn't tell what Brother thought of Itachi-Sama. Yet Itachi-Sama gave me his warmth, he protected me. So I thought I should always keep them together, so that one day, Brother would melt my iced heart and bring me back what Father had taken.

And then Brother died.

I woke up, covered in sweat. My breathing was fine, but I felt drops rolling down my skin. Everyone seemed asleep around me. Wait, that wasn't quite right. I sensed the people around me, fully aware in the light of dawn. How long did I sleep? Not much, I think. I looked at Sasuke-Chan on my right. His body was too stiff.

I nudged him on the side with my foot. He immediately opened his eyes. He frowned at me as I silently gestured towards the garden. I needed fresh air, and I wanted someone to speak with. Silently, we crawled outside the room and sat on the wooden patio. The cold breeze outside made me shiver. Hopefully my cousin had thought of taking his blanket.

We shared.

"It's been a while since we did that." I muttered.

"Yeah, well it's awkward given that you're in that idiotic blonde's body." He grouched.

I slightly smiled at that. I looked at the grass the wind was bending.

"Why didn't you tell me about the Chuunin exam?" he asked.

"I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know where to start." I answered. "And then last time we had to talk, it was in the hospital and you kind of blew on me, you know?"

"… Sorry about that…"

"That's okay, I understand. You're concerned with me. Yet, even though you've rejected that idea, I'd have to find a stronger Sharingan to break the Genjutsu in my mind. I don't want to hurt you in the process, you know."

"I don't like the idea of sending you to that man…" He growled.

"I know…"

"I just… I can't understand why you trust him so much. He murdered your brother. He murdered all the clan!"

"I know he did these things! Well I'm concerned actually. I don't think he did all of these. There was something wrong going on with the clan when we were little. I'm not saying he's innocent! I'm just saying there might be more to the story that we know."

I heard him grit his teeth. He didn't like the assumptions I was making.

"I mean… We know the guy was crazy strong, right? But strong enough to silently murder everyone? It doesn't make sense. Either that means he wasn't alone…"

Or he was a scapegoat. I didn't say that one to the boy. Actually I had a hard time to understand why an innocent man would traumatize his own brother. Same man I had believed when he told me he didn't murder my brother.

I moved closer to Sasuke-Chan, sharing his body heat. What would have happened if I really had died? What would have happened to him? How paranoid and scared and full of revenge would have he been? How could I help? What could I do?

"Why are you still believing him? No, that's not it. You're believing in him." He realized.

I folded my arms and looked up. Translucent clouds were slowly colouring to pink and orange. Yes, I believed in Itachi-Sama. How could I not? He was the one to find me when Father died. He shared the same dream as Brother. He had tried to help me when I felt so down. And now I was taking care of his brother, like he had taken care of me.

"I don't really know. Maybe because he was there for me."

Sasuke-Chan scoffed.

"Oh don't be jealous! You know he was always there for you!"

"Look at what it gave me! He was only playing nice! You haven't seen him that night. You didn't hear what he told me!"

"No, sorry I was too busy being pinned to a tree by a katana!"

We were getting louder and louder.

"Don't you change the subject!"

"Oh yeah, that's right! Come on Sasuke-Chan, go and explain to me how much you think you've suffered! Whine and rant again, like it's useful!"

"Well if you're acting as if talking with serial killers is a normal thing to do!"

"Like it's better to want to kill everyone!"

"He has to die! For what he has done to us, he has to die! He killed our clan! Women, children, old ones and ninjas. He killed everyone! And you would want to find a reason for him!"

"Because he's the only fucking I can look up to!" I shrieked.

Ino-San's voice felt sore as I kept howling. I didn't care. Sasuke-Chan was gaping at me. I didn't care. People were looking at me from inside the house. I didn't care. Tears were filling me. I didn't care.

There was a gape in my chest. A gape a sword filled in a black and red night.

"Father is gone! Brother is gone! Everyone is gone! There's only you and I and him left"

Officially. I was still persuaded the one who almost killed me was an Uchiha. Still the clan records led me nowhere. All the dead had been cremated by the town and buried. I had seen the corpses, one by one under their white veil in the morgue. I had prayed in the middle of the urns for days. I had no idea who my attacker was.

But at that moment I wasn't thinking at all. I was standing and staring hardly at him. The blanket was buried under our feet. One false move and we would jump at each other's throats.

"Itachi-Sama has been there for me, like he has been there for you! So yes, I still trust him!"

"So you trust him over me! What about me!"

"You… you… you… Like everything is about you! You're always wanting me to do the right thing! I am the one who manages what is left of our clan! I'm the one who checks the money stuff! I'm the one who do all the fucking paperwork! I'm the one who must be better and better and better. All you do is eat, and sleep, and shit, and whine, like all the fucking time! So don't you dare telling me what to do!"

"I wouldn't if you weren't saying stupid things!"

"So you're saying I should take you as an example? Becoming a whining emo?"

"Oh shut up! Stop acting like your better than anyone else!"

"Well at least I train properly to attain my goals!"

"Then go train at your stupid goals and leave me alone!"

"Killing your brother isn't the solution!"

He roared and jumped at me. At the same time the door violently slid open. I had anticipated his move. It was obvious, and the boy was totally open. Even with those shorter and frailer limbs…

"Sasuke-Kun!" Ino-San called with my voice.

The surprise made us both froze, long enough for Sakura-San and Ino-San to try and seize him. Tenten grabbed my shoulder and I forced myself to relax. There was no point struggling with him. We were both believing we were in the right. But he put his pain before everything. I put our clan and Brother's dream first.

Why didn't he want to understand that?

Tenten jumped at Sasuke-Chan as he threw the two girls away. I saw the surprise in Ino-San when my body reacted better than she thought. I moved more slowly in her body, catching a flying Sakura-San. I couldn't quite reduce the shock in my muscles as I helped her land. Meanwhile my friend had skilfully grabbed my cousin.

"Hold still you damn brat!" she groaned.

"Don't bother. I'm the one at fault." I said sarcastically. "So you've won, Sasuke. I'll go and train to attain my stupid goals. Alone."

Sorry about last update :/

I had a whole week of exams and no time to write. Plus I rewrote this chapter again and again because I didn't want to show too much through Yanagi's dreams.

Girl-luvs-manga : Of course it's Danzo she'll be spying on. But not yet :)