Chapter 12
I barely got any sleep that night. The constant smell of burning flesh in the air and screams from the doomed kept me from sleeping. I thought about my baby and of Will all through the night. Tomorrow, I had to see if he was still alive. I shifted my body onto my right shoulder and sighed.
"You should get some sleep Gabriele." Asya's gentle, soothing voice startled me.
"You can call me Gabi. That's what everyone used to call me. That's what my husband calls me." I turned and faced Asya's perfect face. "He's still alive, right Asya?"
"Yes Gabi. I am sure of it. He and my husband were heading towards the barrack where they chose the Sonderkommando. He'll be safe there."
"Sonderkommando? What is that?" I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and rubbed it with my hands.
"They are the men that looked the healthiest to work. They get extra food, warmer clothing and better living conditions." I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
"Oh! Asya, that's so wonderful!" I started crying knowing that somewhere, my husband was still alive and well.
"No Gabi. It's not a good job. The things they are forced to do are so inhumane that some kill themselves before they are selected to do it." She looked at me with pain stricken eyes.
"What do they do?" All my relief was suddenly gone. Fear chocked my words.
"They're in charge of burning the bodies and stripping them of all their valuables."
I'm pretty sure I had stopped breathing because once Asya said those words, the entire barrack began to spin. I pictured Will, my gentle Will that would never hurt anyone, burning the bodies of entire families.
"Gabi, please. You have to stay calm for the baby." She touched her fingers to my cheek. "You know, my husband's named is Isak. We were just married a few months ago." She smiled to herself as she told me all about how they met at a bar mitzvah and how they fell in love at first sight.
"Where did you meet Will?" I bit into my bruised lip and braced my self for reliving my entire story so far. The story I had tried to leave behind me in the past for so long.
"I hid him from the Nazis under my porch. Him and his brother the night his entire family was killed by the Nazis. His mother, his father, his brother and sister." Tears fell from my eyes as I remembered how kind they all were to me. "My parents had no idea I was hiding two Jews under our house. But I loved Will and would do anything for him. Even if that meant putting my own life in danger to save his. But after a while my home became too dangerous so I moved Will and his brother Simon, who was in terrible shape, to the safety of my mother's longest friends house. I knew I could trust her because we shared the same feelings about the Jews." I pictured Leah in my mind and smiled. "That is where Will asked me to marry him and of course I said yes. I had never been so happy in my life. Then Simon died. Will was a wreck and it scared me that he was giving up. I knew that something was still inside of him that begged for him to be strong. And soon that something came out the day I told him I was pregnant with his child." The thought of Will jumping up and down like a child warmed my freezing heart. "Then some how, the Nazis found out about us and came and arrested us. They were just going to take Will but I knew I had to go with him. I couldn't leave my husband. I'd rather die than be without him, Asya. One of the Nazis that came and got us was my father. My father. My guardian, my protector, threw Will and I into a truck and left us here in this hell whole." I waited for Asya to say something. She just sat there with a mixed expression on her face and stared at me.
"So your not Jewish?"
"I tried. When I married Will. I didn't have a bar mitzvah or and celebrated Hanukah, but I tried to be the perfect Jewish wife that Will deserved. I would have done anything to marry Will properly and give him the life I knew he so desperately wanted." I began to feel nervous for Asya's feelings toward me now that she knew I was German.
Asya sat up and looked down at me. "Now that's love Gabi. That shows how much you really love him." Tears filled her eyes. "Your good, Gabi. Never loose that sense of good in you. You will go far with that in life." I smiled back at her and gave her a big bear hug.
I was just about to ask her some questions about her former life when a sharp voice come from behind me.
"German Nazi" someone yelled to me. I spun around and looked at the young woman about my age glaring at me. "Your just as bad as them! Can you see what your people are doing?! You will never be a Jew and how dare you think that you can ever become one!"
I looked at this women in shock. Could she not see that I was being tortured through the same as she?
"Leave her alone! It's not her fault that you're here! She put her life in danger and came here just to be with her Jewish husband who she loved so much. How many other Germans do you know who would shelter and protect a Jew now?!" Asya slapped the woman across the face.
"What ever you have to tell yourself Asya." The women flashed one more evil glare towards me and laid back down to sleep. Asya turned back to me and shook her head.
"Forget about that old cow, Gabi." I shook my head and laid down close to Asya.
"So what was your life like before the war?" I needed to hear her voice in order to calm me down.
"Well, I had a darling little child. A little girl named Chaya." I could sense Asya's sadness as she continued telling me about her child. "They killed her as soon as I arrived here with Isak. They allow no children in Treblinka." I shuddered at the thought of loosing a child. I tried not to think of it.
"I am so scared Asya. What will I do when the baby comes? How can I take care of a baby here?" I clutched my belly.
"Just worry about keeping it alive in your stomach first, Gabi. I think I can get you a job indoors sorting clothing. That would be a good job for you." I nodded to myself and closed my eyes, praying for the sweet relief of sleep.
"RAUS, RAUS!" We were all awaken at five o'clock in the morning to the sound of Nazi and kapo shouting. Clubs banged against our bunks, jolting us awake. I raggedly rolled off the bunk and stood next to Asya in front of the Nazis. We were ordered to stand out side for hours as the Nazis counted us. I could feel myself swaying from side to side due to my lack of sleep.
One girl collapsed face first into the mud from exhaustion. Her friend beside her tried to pull her back onto her feet before the Nazis saw. But it was too late. When the Nazi saw the two girls struggling in line, he came over and ordered them to lie on the ground with their faces planted deep in the mud. He told them if they ever took their faces out of the mud, then he would stomp on their heads until their entire heads were buried in the mud. We all watched helplessly at these poor two girls bury their faces in mud until roll call was over. By then, both girls and chocked to death on the mud.
Asya was able to get me a job in the sorting room. I was so grateful to be able to get off of my feet for the day. Others were not so lucky. Nitza and Moriel were assigned to do heavy labor in the fields. I could see them outside the only window in the entire factory, carrying heavy boulders on their backs. Sometimes we would catch eyes and exchange smiles. I felt such pain for them. I wished that sometimes we could switch places. Asya and Jana were assigned in the vegetable fields. All day they spent, on their knees picking tomatoes, potatoes and corn. At night, they would bring me a tomato or potato that they were able to steal. I tried persuading them to eat it themselves but they would always answer back for the baby, Gabi. I had no other choice.
I was sorting out yet another suitcase one day when something happened that made my heart stop. It was my third week in Treblinka and I knew that the baby was coming soon. Out of the corner of my eye I saw three men in striped uniforms walk into the sorting room with their arms full with baskets containing little gold pieces. None of them looked at any of us. They just plopped the baskets in font of us and left. But this day, today, one of the men caught my eye.
"Will?" I whispered to the man dumping a pile of gold in front of me. As soon as I said his name, the man looked up at me. It was indeed my Will. I almost didn't want to look at him but my heart knew otherwise. His hair had been sheered off just like mine. Dark circles shadowed his eyes and he had gotten very thin. I pictured in my mind that I probably looked no different than him.
"Gabi?" His eyes widened in amazement. He took one of the baskets from another man behind him and dumped it on the table slowly.
"Oh Will. I have thought about you ever since we were separated." I opened a red velvet suitcase and spread its contents over the table in front of me. Dozens of pictures spilled out followed by shoes, glasses, shirts and socks.
"Gabi…I…the baby." Will's voice was hard and raw. He helped me sort out some of the contents of the suitcase until the rest of the men came back with more baskets and then he had to go back with them. Both of us tried to say something but words could not express the emotions we wanted to share with each other.
"The baby always seems to kick when I think of you." Will gently brushed my hand with his and smiled. "It should be here in one week."
"I'll be there Gabi. When the baby comes." I looked back down at the photos in my hands. They were all of happy families. Most of them had children in it and I wondered if Will and I would ever be able to take these pictures.
"What have you been doing?" I eyed Will carefully as I saw his eyes drop to the floor.
"Terrible, unspeakable things Gabi." He sighed. "Things that if you knew, you would no longer love me." He paused for a moment and pointed to the baskets of gold pieces in it. "I burn the bodies of the dead and steal all of their belongings for the Nazis. I am part of the Sonderkommando. We get extra food and better living conditions to keep us strong. I saved up every scrap of food I could get my hands on and saved it for you for weeks Gabi, but when I never found you…"
"I thought the same. And Will, I will always love you. No matter what they make you do."
"Does anyone know about the baby?" Will's voice was filled with nerves.
"Some of the women in my barrack are helping me take care of it. They are getting me better jobs and sometimes steal extra food for me." I wiped the tear that fell from my face with the back of me hand. "I hate it here Will. I want to go home with you." Salty tears fell down my face.
"I know you do sweetheart, but I need you to hold on. Be strong because I know how much courage you have hidden inside of you. We will see each other again my love." Will touched my cheek briefly as he stood up and walked out of the sorting room with the rest of the men. I watched him leave. I wanted so badly to run after him and throw myself around him. I needed his comfort now more than ever. I needed to hear his sweet voice fill my head and his soft touch.
"GET BACK TO WORK!" A hard crack of a whip slapped across my shoulders, jolting me out of my thoughts about Will. Bitya hovered over me and held the whip in front of my face. She swung it at me, faking me into thinking that she would hit me again. The pain of the lash burned on my shoulders.
After ten hours of sorting out the deceased belongings, we were all rounded up for roll call in the courtyard again. I dreaded this part. Twice, I thought seriously about dropping to my knees and except my fate, but how could I do that to my baby or even more, Will?
When I had finished swallowing the disgusting meal of bread and soup, I ran back to my barrack. I was surprised to see that Jana, Moriel and Nitza were all there except Asya.
"Where is Asya?" I asked all the girls, but no one seemed to know what had happened to her. I began to grow more and more anxious to where my dear friend was. It wasn't until late into the night when she finally crept in and huddled up close beside me.
"Where have you been?" I was so relieved to see Asya at last.
"I was with my husband" she whispered to me excitedly. I couldn't believe it. How did she escape the sight of the horrible Nazi watch towers.
"How did you do it?"
"I can be very sneaky when I have to be." She smiled at me and went on with her story. "Isak is in the same barrack as Will is in. He told me to tell you that he will come here to see you tomorrow night!" Her eyes widened with excitement as she told me the news.
At first I was extremely happy that I would be able to see Will again, but at the same time, I felt an incredible sense of nervousness. What if he was caught?