"Come on Cal'ika...you said you wanted to be more Coruscanii....you need to eat this!" Xan said, presenting her with a bowl of what appeared to be a stew of some type. "Qartl is part of it," he referred to a dish made from the fermented brains of Bat-Hawks simmered in vegetables. She groaned, and made a face. "Are you sure, Jaj'tich..."

He grabbed a spoonful with relish. "Eat."

She sighed. "Alright....but you get to clean up if this goes south..." Hesitantly, she picked up her spoon and took a bite. It was surprisingly good. The flavors melded well. As long as she didn't think about what she was actually eating, she'd be alright.

Xan cheered and clapped."You did better than Weshtiir did her first time." he laughed. She made a face at him. "You're kidding.....she couldn't even get the Coruscanii down...."

"Nope.....she knew nothing about her past when I found her.....Then she learned over time." he gazed into space thoughtfully then smiled "And she was a natural as are you...but she still dislikes Qartl."

"Why? It takes good..." She focused very hard on ignoring what was in it and focusing on the taste.

"She likes it...just the thought bugs her....Her father married a koruun after all." he said. She sobered a little. "Jaj'tich.....you and Weshtiir......I don't want to lose you..." That wasn't exactly what she meant, but she knew he could sense her thoughts. She was worried what would happen to them if she met her time long before they did.

"Lose us how?" Xan asked puzzled by the statement.

"I...." she stopped and her face went crimson. "I'm not like you....I could die long before either of you...." She was slightly embarrassed to be bringing it up in the manner she had. That bothered him in two ways, so he sat down. "Well there is no death there is only the force....Jedi don't really die, jijtchi....but there is more to this I see."

She nodded, and looked away, embarrassed to have even brought it up. She bit her lip. "It's just...." she choked back a sob. "Xamesh, you and Weshtiir.....you are my family...yet you will be here many years after I pass into the Force.....I am not as long-lived as you are...." She looked away then, slightly horrified that she was even considering it.

Xan nodded but frowned he wasn't sure he wanted to expose her to this. "There is a way..." he said gently. She looked up at him, her eyes red-rimmed. "How....?" She felt his unease, but did not understand.

"Ziitshpaak....the Sith Curse," Xan said. She paled. "That's the way...?" She vaguely remembered Lilly telling her of this many months ago, and she couldn't suppress a shudder. Xan nodded. "You become one of us....we were called Chiton and it was thought that we dragged people to their doom down on the ground of Coruscant....needless to say, but we don't take this lightly."

She frowned. "And it's irreversible once done...?" Half of her was horrified that she was even contemplating it, but the other part of her didn't want to be lost to the family she knew. "Irreversible and becomes genetic...your children will be thus." Xan said. She bit her lip. She knew how bad she wanted to be with them, but still some small part of her abhorred it.

She reached for him, burying her face in Xan's chest as she sobbed softly. Xan hugged her back just as intensely. Being Coruscanii was a blessing and a curse ,and if she really wanted this she'd have to come to grips with it. It was a long while before she stopped crying. Still she clung to him, and reached to the Force for calm and clarity. She snuggled against his chest, not wanting to let go. Slowly, her breathing fell back to its normal pattern. It was then that she looked up at him.

"I want to do it, Xamesh..You are my family and I don't want to lose that...."

Xan nodded. "It will be the most trying thing you will experience....this is the Dark Side." She nodded quietly. "I know....I still want to do it...."

"Then I will make the preparations.....you will need to come to grips with some things as well...it will take time."

Again, she felt the unease from him, but nodded. "I will deal with them as they come...." she stopped then, her thoughts shifting back over the past few months.

"Tell me what I need to do, Xamesh.."

Lilly had just walked in hearing the tale end of Callista wanting the change to become Coruscanii. Her eyes were sad and hard about fact that Xan was going to allow this. She never went through it like Xan did, she was born this way but the anger she felt for it made her raw and bitter and she muttered, "Are you mad, Cal'ika?"

Callista gaped at her. "Lilly....I...." she stopped and sighed. "You wouldn't understand..." and she turned away angrily.

Lilly's old anger came up and she smashed the glass she had on the floor shattering it. "I don't understand! Oh! Little girl how wrong you are! Image my life! Growing up alone and Not UNDERSTANDING why I wasn't aging, why I wasn't getting older. Image my shock when I found out I was Coruscanii and the wrongs that were done against my mother and father! You have no idea the pain and the grief it caused. Xan knows it first hand! I am not standing you asking if you are mad because I don't care! I am asking because I do care!" Her anger eased at the last half and her face looked full of sorrow and grief.

Callista stared at her in shock. "N..ni ....ceta...." she stammered. She turned, and drew her knees up, resting her chin on them. Her voice was choked with tears. "I didn't mean that...you and Xan are my family now......and I don't want to lose that..." She shrugged helplessly.

All her anger melted away, and Lilly sat next to Callista and wrapped her arms around her sighing. "I know, Cal'ika, we are family, but I worry for you. This isn't something that is to be taken lightly. I once told you what our red eyes mean. I miss my dark blue eyes. I will never see them again, and part of this pains me greatly."

Callista nodded, and leaned against her. "I remember..." She stopped and sighed. "I can't explain it, but it feels like it is something I must do..."

"All right, Cal'ika, if you are sure. I can't stop you; it is your choice of free will - but I will be there for you until the end."

Callista looked up at her then, her face pale as she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "....Even if I turn to the Darkness....?"

"I will be there for you, and I have faith you remain in the light."

Callista didn't seem quite so certain. "I don't know, Lill'ika....I feel as if I need to do this, but I don't know if I can handle what I will have to face..."

"You can handle what you have to face, Cal'ika. Xan and I have faith in you. You are strong; and as long as you keep the love you have for us in your heart, it will work."

She bit her lip, feeling deep down that there was something that she still needed to face. Lilly could probably sense it as well. She had shied away from it for months, but knew that this was the only way it would be resolved.

"Be strong, have strength for yourself and believe in yourself." Callista nodded quietly, still not convinced but knowing it was the only way. It scared her. Lilly hugged her tighter and she started to whisper something in Coruscanii:

"Vha dit Vorza, draal gamen aan deen jijtchi. Draal grawd en siild zin qharqara un dit Vorza, Ce haap drem deen qrique sin ap zaven'kap. Grawd zin qharqara gaan lixht en zuqqra zin ap vanc'di. Draal meenen zin gamet ap dit lixht en zuqqra zin ba dit qriquesmaat zin af lorka en afloken ema dit guut paas.....deen ik copaar veer Tiirzemesh."

Callista looked up, her face streaked with tears. She didn't fully understand what Lilly had said, but she caught the meaning of it. "Vor'e..." she murmured against Lilly's chest. "Your welcome, Cal'ika." She just held the younger woman, and in her heart prayed that the Force would see her through this trying and near impossible time.

Author's Notes:

Really short, I know. I just felt that this scene should stand on its own, given the gravity of it.

Lilly's Prayer:

"May the Force please watch over this young child. Please bless and protect her path in the Force, see her through this trial she is about to face. Bless her path with light and help her know she is loved and cared for. Please keep her safe in the light and help her to forget the hardships she has faced and remember only the good times... this I pray for Tiirzemesh."

Tiirzemesh -Warrior Shaman