Puck:
Captain of our fairy band,
Helena is here at hand,
And the youth, mistook by me,
Pleading for a lover's fee.
Shall we their fond pageant see?
Lord, what fools these mortals be!

A Midsummer Nights Dream Act 3, scene 2, 110–115

Miranda and Doctor Franklin stood side by side in the Phoenix's medbay, looking me over with concern as I sat cross-legged on one of the beds.

"Shepard, results from your blood tests are back. Your hormone levels are a bit odd, but after everything you've been through, I don't think we should be surprised by that." Miranda sighed. "Your levels of activity these past months and the deactivation of the reaper-tech Cerberus included in some of your synthetic parts could explain why your body might be functioning normally again, but really, we have no way to know. You're somewhat of a unique case."

Franklin picked up where she left off, tossing me an impressively-sized box of condoms. "We should fit you with a new contraceptive implant when we've figured this out, but I think it's best to wait until you menstruate again before we do that. In the mean time, use prophylactics during intercourse. Keep your stress levels and alcohol intake to a minimum until we know for sure one way or the other, and we'll try another blood test in about a week."

"Sure, doc, I'll try." I responded, reeling a bit from the implications of the inconclusive results. Moving off the bed, I prepared myself for the conversation I knew I had to have with Zaeed.

"Shepard." Zaeed fell in step with me as I exited the medbay and headed for our quarters.

"You nosy S.O.B. I take it you heard all of that then?" I shook my head and sighed.

"Enough." He muttered, his tone carrying something that I couldn't place. Uh-oh. "Liara has more details with regards to these Cerberus bastards we need to deal with."

"I'll vidcomm her in a while."

We stepped into the elevator and were silent for a long moment. My fingers tapped against my leg nervously, a subconscious gesture I wasn't quite aware of.

"Stop that, will you?"

"What?"

"That goddamn tapping."

"Oh. Sorry."

The elevator came to a halt at our room. I stepped inside and took off my boots before heading over to the bed.
I struggled to find the words to articulate how I felt, and so I stopped trying, and curled up on top of the covers instead.

"What the hell do we do, if I am, you know?" I wondered aloud.

"Whatever you want or need to do is okay with me, Kate." Zaeed responded, snuggling into my back and fitting his body around mine. "We don't know anything yet, there's no point stressing yourself over nothing."

"Cut the bullshit. The 'I'll stand by you, no matter what' crap is very noble but please, don't treat me like a moron. I don't even know how to feel about the idea of being a parent any more. Before I died it was just this thing I assumed I'd end up doing because it's expected, but when I couldn't any more I had to come to terms with that. I'd accepted it, and I just don't know now."

He gripped me tight around the waist and buried his face into the curve of my shoulder. "I respect you, Kate. Get that through your stubborn goddamn skull. I'm not okay with the idea of pressuring you into a goddamn decision, though, if it even comes to that. There's so many ifs and maybes."

"I'm sorry, I can't just ignore the fact my body is screwing with me!" I tried to turn in his arms but he held me still. "Damnit, let me move."

"No. I like having you here. In my arms. Where you belong." He swept a hand over the gentle curve my stomach had been developing over the past weeks thanks to too much food and not enough PT.

I all but jumped out of my skin, the tenderness of the gesture Zaeed had just made really confusing my assumptions of what he would want from the situation.

"I'd probably make a shit mother." I sighed.

"How d'you figure that?"

"For a start, I had to buy a VI to feed my damn fish on the Normandy."

"You never forgot to feed Boo."

I laughed. "Bullshit. I forgot loads of times, but he never once seemed to run out of food. I found out it was you sneaking up into my cabin and feeding him, by the way. EDI told me she'd been letting you up."

"What can I say? I had a soft spot for the little guy. Okay, fine, what about Grunt?"

"Aside from the drinking and me having to bail him out with C-Sec?"

"He's a teenager, pretty much. Like you didn't go a little off the deep end once or twice?"

"I never broke out of Huerta, got drunk, climbed the Krogan memorial statue, set fire to a C-Sec aircar and then stole the damn thing, only to get caught while buying spicy noodles."

"He's a pretty awesome little guy, really." Zaeed chuckled, planting a kiss at the nape of my neck.

"Little? He's damn near 7 feet tall, Zaeed! Okay, you're right."

His voice had a sort of far-away, ethereal quality to it when he spoke next. "Us having a child together, would it really be so awful? And neither of us are getting any younger, sweetheart."

Shaking my head, I brought my arm up to stroke his face gently. "You know I hate when you're the voice of reason, right?"

"I know. Just don't forget that I love you, unconditionally. And if you want to bring a tiny little Massani into the world, then I'm sure as hell not adverse to the idea."

"Alright, alright, goddamnit, I'll think about it."

He turned me in his arms and kissed me with a slow-burning passion I wasn't accustomed to. It was a firm, insistent violation that felt more like our souls were touching than our mouths, and it seemed to go on for hours. His hands wandered all over, eventually finding the juncture of my thighs to rub and tease through my jeans.

I shuddered into him and let a breathy moan escape against his lips. Clothes were shed slowly, each movement exposing more flesh merely prolonging the experience. Eventually, when we were both undressed, he shifted over me and reached for the box full of condoms I'd unceremoniously dumped on the bedside table. I gripped his reaching arm by the wrist and pulled it back down so he was merely a shift of his own grip away from pinning me to the bed by both wrists above my head.

"No, leave it. Just make love to me, Zaeed." I whispered, almost pleadingly.

I swear I've never seen him so happy to comply with a request of mine.