Chapter Twelve
These Are My Confessions
"You know Delly likes you right?" I ask Peeta. His head lies on my lap. I'm playing with his blonde curls, while he holds my text book in his hands.
When he hears the question, he puts the book down and sits up and faces me. "What brought this up?
"Nothing really. It's just obvious…" I trail off. Why did I even bring this up?
"Delly and I are just friends. She had a crush on me years ago, but I let her know then that what we have is a friendship."
Yet, that girl still hasn't taken a hint. She's trying her best, to say the least.
Instead of indulging further into the topic, I scoot off my bed. I walk towards my closet and slip my feet into a random pair of sandals. "We should go," I tell him, grabbing my keys off my desk. He's still on my bed and doesn't look like he's ready to move either. "Get up dude." I walk to him, trying to pull him up.
"Can we skip?" He asks, pulling on my T-shirt. I place my hands on his shoulder, pushing him back gently. "Come on, Katniss. I would rather just be here with you."
"We all have our preferences, but I also rather not have Jo kick my ass." I take his hand, using all the force I have to pull him up with me. He complies with me, but wraps his free arm around my waist. "You're so touchy lately." I take note of this.
This only causes him to pull me closer to him. I groan, not because I'm this close to him, but because we still haven't left my room yet. We're going to be late. "You're no different, you know? Just a few minutes ago, you were practically massaging my scalp." He fires back.
I ignore this because he's absolutely right, but still I can control my impulses when needed. Once again, I drag him out of the room. We push down the stairs, and walk past my sister, who keeps devilishly smiling at me. "Mom!" I yell as we pass the kitchen. "Peeta and I are leaving. I'll be back before 10."
I don't wait for her to respond back because I'm trying to get Peeta out the door before he decides to make anymore moves. Once we're outside, walking, I let go of his hand. He pouts, but continues to walk alongside me. "Stop doing that." I command him, reach for his face. He simply moves my hand away before I come in contact. Instead, he holds my hand, again. I sigh.
"What's the matter?" He asks me, concern tingling in his voice. I lift up our interlocked hands, indicating the problem.
"You realize the group is going to think…"
"That we're something more?" Peeta finishes my sentence.
I nod, turning my head away from him. I don't want him to see how red my face gets.
We're approaching the woods, the silence grows on us. That's until Peeta stops in the middle of the path. I look at him with confusion and damn right annoyance. He keeps constantly stopping when i just want to keep moving.
"Katniss…" He starts walking towards me slowly. Uhm, hello? His stare captivates me. It holds such an intensity that I'm not sure I can even handle. I take a few steps back, but my back collides with a tree. When I look up, Peeta is close to me. Severely close. He places his hand on the tree and moves his body dangerously close to me. "Are we something more?"
I look down, avoiding his eyes, but he softly nudges my chin up to regain that eye contact. "Look at me, Katniss," He whispers. I'm afraid that I'll become undone staring at him, but it seems like I don't have a choice in this matter. He uses his other hand to take my hand into his. "Do you feel it?"
Of course I do. I would be a foolish if I didn't. I simply nod my head, knowing that if I speak my words will fail me, yet again.
"I want to hear you say it," Peeta's demanding side comes out. This shocks me because he's usually...not this forward? "But I won't rush you either. I'm not going to do that to you. I'll let you set the pace."
My heart hurts, knowing that there's one person who actually cares about me. Peeta cares about me that he's not going to force this, but he knows well enough when there's a connection. He let's go of my hand and caresses the skin on my cheeks. He moves my hair out of the way before pressing a kiss on my cheek. If my face wasn't red before, it truly was red now. He lingers for a second before stepping back. Immediately, I reach to him for a hug, pressing my body tightly against his. My arms wrap his neck, while I feel his hands on my back.
The moment, however, was interrupted by the loud crunch on the ground. We break away quickly, not wanting anyone else to taint the moment.
She clears her throat before making her appearance. I swear, she looks like she wants to punch something, or someone for a split second before returning to her signature smile. "Oh hi guys. I thought you two would have already been at the lake by now." Delly giggles to herself.
Peeta puts his hands in his pockets. "Hey Dels. You came right on time to join us on our quest."
"Hmm, I thought I was interrupting for a second," She says, glancing at me. "But, since we're all going to the same place, might as well walk together." She says, putting her arms behind her.
We all start walking, in an awkward silence. Peeta is in between Delly and I, as we walk. All I want to do right now is hold his hand, but I value my privacy too much. Plus I don't know if Delly will flip her shit. It's all so unpredictable. When we reach the lake, I see Johanna sitting in Thresh's lap, Clove hanging off a tree, and Madge looking up at Clove.
"Brainless!" Johanna shrieks, hopping off Thresh's lap and rushing over to me. "It took you long enough. I thought you were gonna ditch."
I look at her, wishing that I did ditch and that Delly didn't continually interrupt Peeta and I's conversations. I put my hand on her shoulder, walking with her towards Madge and Clove. "Have more faith in me, Jo."
"Look who showed up," Clove smugly says as she hangs from the tree. I watch as she lifts herself up and flips from the branch. Landing on her feet perfectly, she brushes the dirt off her jeans. "Johanna was convinced you wouldn't come. Then she started making out with Thresh in the corner." Clove teases Johanna.
Johanna doesn't seem bothered, in fact she seems proud. I would be squeamish as hell. "At least I get laid, Clover."
Clove pauses. Her eyes grow agitated. She really doesn't like it when people use her actual name. Madge clears her throat, inserting herself between the two of them. "Anyway, I wanted to formally invite you guys to my parent's gala next weekend. I know it's a rich person event, that can also be incredibly boring, but I'm required to be there, so I figured you guys could tag along."
"Yeah, whatever, I'll go." Clove mumbles, folding her arms.
"Go where?" Delly sneaks into the conversation. "I want to go!"
"The gala I was talking to you about earlier," Madge fills her in on the conversation. "Anyway, the only problem is that everyone needs a date, but that shouldn't be too hard for some of you." She says, looking at Johanna and I.
"I'll just ask Cato," Clove groans. I raise my eyebrow, and she starts to explain. "Cato and I have a...complicated relationship, but he'll go with me if I ask."
"Well, Katniss can just go with Peeta," Johanna says, with a gleam in her eye. "It makes the most sense because they live right next to each other."
Delly doesn't seem too affected about this. In fact, it surprises all of us when she speaks up. "Marvel and I will go together." She shrugs, offering another smile.
I'm not looking forward to another party.
"Katniss, sweetie," My Mom walks into my bedroom, looking to ask a question. It's nearly 11pm, and I'm pretty sure she's about to head off to sleep, knowing she has a shift in the afternoon. "Would you be a deer and pick Prim up in the afternoon? She starts play practice tomorrow and doesn't get off until 6, but I'll still be at work."
I nod my head, not caring too much about this simple task. "Yeah, sure. No problem." I say absentmindedly, flipping through my textbook.
"Head off to sleep soon," She starts to close my door. "Night sweetie."
When I see my door close, and hear her footsteps fade away, I immediately get up and head towards my curtain. Before I move it to the side, I think twice about my door, and decide to lock it behind me. Pushing my curtain to the side, I see Peeta at his desk waiting for me. I lift my window open, and reach over to tap his, signaling for him to come over. Leaving the window, I get back into my bed, pulling the blankets over my body, and taking the textbook and opening it up.
Loud as can be, he attempts to sneak into my room. I shake my head at him, wishing that he was blessed with quieter steps. "I'll have to teach you how to be quieter." I whisper, book in hand.
He laughs at himself, quietly, and walks towards me. He slips under the sheets, and grabs my waist. I quickly settle with him, my head on his chest as I'm studying. He starts to rub my back causing me to tingle on the inside.
But I ignore that feeling.
I need to somewhat concentrate before we go to sleep, and Peeta is the perfect distraction. But I do want to keep my GPA up. We have to apply to college soon, and I want to at least attempt to boost up my average ass grades.
"We should go to the mall tomorrow," Peeta says out loud, disrupting my thoughts. "We should match for the gala."
I close my book, figuring that I'm not going to get anything done while I'm this tired and while Peeta is here talking. "Yeah, I need something to do while I wait for Prim." I tell him, cozying myself up.
"Are you tired?" He asks me, loosening his arm around my shoulder.
"Sort of. We had a little too much fun at the lake today." I remember us jumping into the water, yet again, and swimming for the majority of the night.
Silence settles into the room. He knows I'm tired, so he doesn't want to disrupt my rest. He's too considerent, especially to me. The amount of bullshit I've put up with, and that I've put him through and he still associates with me. In the short time with Peeta, it feels like it's been forever. Our quick friendship expanded, and it's going into a direction that I never originally thought it would take. And it's all up to me.
His breaths start to slow down, and I know he's starting to fall asleep. I look up at him, and let my hand touch his jaw. I reach up and kiss his cheek, letting him know that I'm expressing how I feel the best way I can. His response surprises me. He pulls me up to his level, and brushes his lips against my neck. He does it again, this time with more confidence. The butterflies consume my stomach, and my body is clearly reacting to him. However before this takes a turn, I place both of my hands on his face to calm down both of us. Granted, I trust Peeta, more than I should, but I'm still damaged. It's hard for me to move quickly into intimate acts.
He settles for pressing a kiss on my forehead and he starts stroking my hair. We stare at each other, not saying anything to each other because this is enough for us. It's easy to forget the world when we're together.
That's why I take the time to tell him my story. "A few years ago my best friend sexually assaulted me. The same guy you met at the party...Gale."
His eyes widen, first with shock, then with rage. An emotion I've never fully seen before. I hold on to his arm to calm him down, but also to keep myself from crying. Contact with Peeta helps a lot. "Son of a bitch," He hisses, getting ready to get out of the bed, but I pull him back.
"Stay," I say softly, getting nervous that he'll reject me now. But he doesn't disappoint when he wraps his arms tightly around me. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't want to be judged."
He pulls away, noticing the tears falling down my face. He wipes them from my face by kissing them away. "I could never judge you. I'm going to kick his ass if I ever see him again, but I want you to know this wasn't your fault."
"Maybe it was," I think about that night, when I should've gotten my own drinks, I should've noticed the signs, I shouldn't have been alone with him. The endless possibilities that could have happened that night and that had to be the outcome. "Can we sleep?" I suggest, knowing the mood is ruined but I know that if we keep talking about this, I'll just have another breakdown. He nods, letting me lay down on him, and in response he holds me tightly.
I don't know what I would do without him.
Hello, hello. I'm currently on vacation, sort of, so I spent most of the day writing up this chapter. Heads up, Gale will be making a return at some point, so expect some of that drama, and you guys notice how Katniss and Peeta are slowly getting there. Hmmm, maybe they'll make it official soon. Who knows? Oh, wait, I know. Haha, anyway, thank you for the follows and the get well wishes in the reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll let you all speculate what may happen at this gala. Maybe Delly and Katniss will finally talk it out...but who knows. I'll try to update again soon! Enjoy