Author Notes: This is a blooper chapter, just to make you laugh even more.
Oni- Does this mean Kari's going to be hitting me a lot?
Kari- ... Maybe.
Scene 1 (Taken from chapter 9)
Kari- Oni? Oni what's wrong? Heelllooo- Oni- Anybody in that thick head of yours? Oni- I'm scared-" (Strokes cheek) Let's go Pleeaaasee...?
"A-Ah!!" (Oni jumps) "LOOK O-... Wait a minute... Author-lady! The prop manger forgot the skulltula AGAIN!
Author "lady" (Me): What...? OH GOD! NOOEZ! THE HORRORS! HE LET OUT THE ARABIAN FLYING PANCAKES OF DOOM!
Kari- What? AHHH! (Runs away, like me)
Oni- ? (Grabs syrup) Pancakes! Pancakes! Eat 'um while they're fresh! Don't look now, but I ate the rest!
Author/ Kari- I can't believe he just made a song out of that.
Scene 2 (taken from... No chapter.)
Author- Sorry folks, we're still setting up the sce- NO! BSTARD! THAT WAS MY FINAL SMASH! Oh... Sorry, I'm playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl with the cast...
Kari- Ah-ha! Take that! (uses yet another final smash)
Oni- Kari, Author Lady, whatcha doin'?
Majora- Something you'll never beat me at-
Oni- VAT!? VET ME VEE! (snatches my controller T-T) What the? The little person on the screen looks just like me!.. Except...
Author- That's because it's LINK. Oni, Link is the carrier of the triforce piece of cour-
Oni- He's gay, he's wearing tights.
Author-... Then what are those, you're wearing?
Oni- Leggings.
Everyone (excluding Oni)- XD
Scene 3 (taken from ch. 10)
Kari- Oni, I need the key. You know, it's rusted... gold... copper...? ish?
Oni- Hey! Man! One beer for me girl!
Kari- ... EEP! SON OF A BTCH DID YOU JUST GRAB MY ASS!? (pulls out shotgun and points it to the guy behind her.)
Oni- Wait... Wasn't I supposed to punch him?
Kari- You're supposed to be drunk too.
Oni-... Well... Well...! You're not supposed to have a shotgun! Author lady! Is she going to shoot me with it? I don't think I'm THAT invincible... Pweease? I'll even make it up to you later tonight...
Author- ... Kari, shoot him.
Scene 4 (Random scene between Oni and Majora)
Oni- Hey Majora, guess what?
Majora- ...
Oni- I SAID GUESS WHAT!!
Majora-... What?
Oni- My sword's bigger than yours! :D
Majora- ... And what are you trying to say?
Oni- I'm manlier.
Majora- (smack forehead) I've just lost twenty iq...
(That idea was NOT mine. I actually just read a small comic with it before.)
Scene 5 (Taken from... ch... I don't know, just when Oni and Majora were fighting the first time.)
Oni- Alright Majora, let's settle this properly...
Majora- Yes, it's about time we do...
Both- ... (change into cowboy suits with hands on their guns.) 1... 2... 3!
Oni- Rock paper scissors-
Majora- Shoot! (makes a rock)
Oni- (makes rock)
Majora- rematch! 1, 2, 3! (makes paper)
Oni- (makes paper)
FIVE HOURS LATER
Kari- Has anyone won yet?
Author- Nope.
Scene 6 ( while stage is being set up...)
Kari- Author, I haven't been able to remember my lines all the time... It's really hard when you have to work with knuckle heads.
Oni- A knucklehead? Where, I'll have him stop givin' ya trouble!
Author/ Kari- (exchange glances) --
Majora- Hey, when's lunch bre-
Kari- EPPP! (smacks with shoes)
Majora- ow! What was that fo-
Kari- AHH HE'S NOT DEAD! (smacks with other shoe)
Majora- Ow... STOP I-
Kari- HE'S ALIVE!? (reaches for shoe, doesn't have one...) Hey Oni, can I borrow your boot?
Oni- Uh, sure ok (hands boot)
Kari- TAKE TH-
Oni- But you're going to have to give me something in return. (That smile)
Kari-.. (glances at hurting Majora, glances at Oni, back and forth, with one boot.) DIE! (Smacks Oni. Then Majora. Then some random guy passing by.)
Scene 7 (Curse of :D)
Oni- Hey, author lady, what are you doing? (Pokes head)
Author- I'm reading stories about the legend of Zelda... PFFFT! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Oni- What's funny? I wanna know what's funny (turns computer screen) WHAT!? I AM NOT GAY! (puppy eyes with tears.) These people are so cruel.
Author- Well, they paired you with major-
Oni- THEY WILL AL DIE!! (Runs off)
Kari- hey, what was he freaking out for?
Author- Oh, just some fans pairing him with Majora.
Majora- You cal- WHAT THE HLL IS THIS!? THESE BEINGS SHALL BE DESTROYED WITH NO MERCY! I AM NOT A GIRL! (runs off.)
Kari- Someone's PMSing.
Scene 7 (taken from when Oni summons pots and pans for Kari.)
Kari- you know... Pots... pans... WE CAN'T EAT OFF LEAVES FOR PETE'S SAKE!
Oni- Ok... Hold on... (summons.)
Kari- 0.o Dirty birdie. I see what you do in spare time. (A bra fell on top of Oni's head.)
Oni- What!? Author Lady!
Author- Don't look at me, I'm not the one who writes this crap.
Oni- But your name is author lady... (face puffs up red)
Author- Uh... MAJORA DID IT!
Majora- What? (knitting)
Kari/Oni/Author- Girly Boy.
Majora- I-I am NOT g-girly! (has an embarrassed girl's face)
Oni- O Rly? Cuz if you grew out your hair... Changed your clothes... and showed that face more often... AND IF YOU WEREN'T MY BROTHER BY MAGIC- I'd have done you by now.
Author/Kari/Majora- Dude, WTF?
This might have seemed a little stupid to you, but I was hoping to give you a few more laughs... Anyway, please keep checking up for the sequel: TRUE SELF. I hope you enjoy it, very much.
Oni- Do I come back alive? Author lady?
Author- The world may neva know.