Chapter 12- Add My Effort
"You can move faster, dear." Mary smirked slightly, placing a hand on Cate's back and pushing her forward gently. "Lux won't break."
Cate blushed, slightly embarrassed, but honestly had no intention of walking any faster. She held Lux firmly in her arms, making sure to avoid her still-healing scars on her chest, as she walked towards her mom's car. Laverne had let her borrow it for the weekend seeing as she was going away, and Cate ignored her anger about Laverne not being there, figuring at least she would be bringing Lux home to a few nights of peace.
Mary opened Laverne's car for Cate, opening the back door where she had set up the car seat for Lux. Cate carefully slipped a sleeping Lux into the car seat, fiddling to make sure she was comfortable. Mary watched amused for a few moments before stepping in.
"See this?" Mary held up one of the buckles and Cate nodded, watching closely and mentally taking notes. "You've got to make sure she's buckled in properly. Slip the buckles through here, put it together, and when you here the clicks, it's done up properly."
Cate double checked and triple checked to make sure Lux was okay before gently closing the back door and turning her attention to Mary. Mary had been with the two of them since day one, and Cate had wanted to say goodbye in private rather than in the goodbye party the NICU wing had thrown for Lux.
"Mary..." Cate started, smiling as her eyes filled with happy tears. "I don't know how I can ever repay you."
Mary simply smiled, hugging Cate in response. "Just take good care of that beautiful little girl of yours."
Cate smiled and nodded, glancing at Lux quickly. "Thank you." She repeated.
Mary nodded and smiled, opening the door for Cate and watching as she climbed in. "Don't be a stranger."
Cate watched as Mary walked back into the hospital before turning in her seat to check on Lux once again. She sat in the driver's seat for ten minutes before she finally worked up enough courage to turn on the car, turning in her seat a second later to make sure Lux was still okay.
The usual ten minute drive between the hospital and Cate's house took well over an hour, with Cate pulling over at every block to check on Lux. When she finally pulled into the driveway, Abby came out to meet them.
"Finally! Where have you been?" Abby continued before Cate could answer, opening the back door and lifting Lux out of the car seat despite Cate's protests. "Hi, Lux!"
Lux stirred and whimpered slightly, about to start crying as Cate lifted her out of Abby's arms and shushed her lovingly.
Lux calmed after a few minutes and looked around curiously, gurgling happily as Cate cooed at her.
"Wow." Abby acknowledged, sincerely surprised. Sure, she had seen Cate interact with Lux on multiple occasions before, but she was only just realizing her sister acted like a mom. "You're like a modern day mom."
Cate looked over at Abby and smiled sincerely, proud of the compliment. Abby grabbed Lux's bag out of the boot of the car and followed Cate towards the house, rolling her eyes at the speed Cate was walking.
"Welcome home, baby."
Cate placed a kiss to Lux's forehead, closing her eyes and breathing in Lux's scent. She honestly felt like she had been waiting for this day her entire life, and now that it was here, Cate felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Of course, that was accompanied with even more worry and stress, but Cate didn't care. Lux was worth it.
Cate carried Lux through each of the rooms, giving her a tour of the house before they made their way to Cate's room; their room.
Cate had reluctantly accepted more money from Baze to buy baby supplies for Lux, on the basis that it was only a loan and that she would pay back every penny. That, of course, meant getting a job. Cate still had no idea how she was going to finish high school, go to college, maintain a job and raise a kid at the same time, but she pushed aside her worries when she opened the bedroom door.
Cate had gotten rid of most of her things in order to make room for Lux's possessions. Although she still kept her double bed, it was pushed into a corner to make room for Lux's crib, changing table, dresser and a rocking chair. Cate's desk was the only thing of hers still remaining, besides her built in closet and bed, and it didn't go unnoticed to Cate the amount of school work she still had to finish.
Cate smiled down at Lux, kissing her forehead gently as she looked around the room. After a few minutes, she went to place Lux down in the crib only to have Lux start to cry the second she did. After almost ten minutes of hopeless rocking, Cate decided to try something else.
"What's wrong, Lux?" Cate cooed, rocking Lux gently. "Are you hungry?"
Cate took a seat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, balancing Lux one-handed as she undid her top and tried to get Lux to nurse. After three failed attempts, Cate gave up on that idea and stood up to resume rocking Lux, racking her brain for another reason why her daughter was screaming her head off.
"Do you need to be changed?" Cate carried Lux over to the changing table, gently laying her down. "Yeah, let's try that, huh?"
Cate grabbed a diaper off of the pile and set it beside Lux, cooing soothingly at her daughter as she gently unbuttoned Lux's onesie. Lux was still extremely small for her age, and despite being taught and having no problem while at the hospital, Cate was nervous about changing her. Cate undid Lux's diaper and removed it carefully; it didn't need to be changed, but Cate didn't know what to do. It took longer than usual to change Lux, both from the fact that Cate was nervous, and that Lux's screams and moving around made it harder.
"Please stop crying, Lux." Cate begged, picking Lux back up and bouncing her as she rocked.
Lux continued to cry, and when she didn't look like she was going to give up any time soon half an hour later, Cate began to panic. "Please, baby, come on. You're okay. Please stop crying. Mommy doesn't know what to do."
"Cate?" Baze pushed open Cate's bedroom door after he heard a tearful mumble telling him to enter.
A second later, Lux was thrust into his arms and Cate collapsed on the end of her bed, Cate's cries matching Lux's.
"She won't stop." Cate sobbed helplessly. "I've tried everything. I fed her, I changed her, I burped her, I bathed her, but she just keeps screaming."
Baze looked between Cate and Lux, his eyes wide. He had no idea what to do. Why would Cate call him of all people? "What about your mom?"
"She went away for the weekend with her new boyfriend." Cate almost whined, her tone desperate. "I'm a terrible mom!"
Baze would have laughed had it not been for the screaming baby in his arms. "Maybe she's hungry?" Baze offered lamely.
"I tried feeding her!" Cate sobbed before sitting up alarmingly, panicking. "What if something's wrong? What if I did something?"
Baze kept his attention on Lux, awkwardly bouncing her as he tried to get her to calm. To be honest, Baze couldn't help but worry that something was wrong as well. "Don't you have like a book or something?" Baze shrugged after a few moments.
Cate looked up with a look of realization, jumping up and racing out of the room a second later. Baze watched her leave, freaking out as he switched his attention between Lux and the door. "Cate?"
Cate came back in a few moments later, book in hand as she flipped through it, determined. "Maybe she's just tired?" Cate asked after a few moments of reading, finding no other reason. "I don't know. Does she look tired?"
"Wouldn't she just sleep if that was it?" It was a legitimate question, but the question only panicked Cate more.
Cate flipped through the book furiously, not noticing as Baze gently placed Lux down in the crib. Lux continued to cry, but her screaming dulled slightly and Cate looked up surprised.
Baze took the book out of her hands, flipping through it. "... The book says to just let her cry herself to sleep."
He took a seat on the edge of Cate's bed, Cate reluctantly following his cue. Cate tapped her knees nervously, biting her nails as she stared at the crib. Baze couldn't help but smirk slightly, gently stilling her tapping with his hand on her knee.
It took another half an hour, but Lux eventually cried herself to sleep and both Cate and Baze were exhausted yet relieved.
"We got the results back." Baze started nervously, breaking the silence. "I, uh, you were right. She's mine."
Cate nodded, a small smile on her face as she turned her attention from Lux to Baze. "I know." She said simply, but her words held no "I told you so" tone. "How did your parents take it?"
"My mom cried." Baze shrugged sheepishly, feeling guilty. "And my dad left for a few hours, but they agreed to support Lux financially, and they want to know their granddaughter. My mom's already started on a room for her."
"Oh, Baze, I don't know..." Cate spoke instinctively, not at all comfortable with being separated from Lux, even if it was for her daughter to spend time with her dad.
"I know you don't really know us, but I am her dad, Cate... You know, I mean I want to be in her life. I want her to know me."
Cate nodded, smiling reassuringly but her mind was still set, even if she wasn't going to let Baze know that. "She will."
Baze smiled, and it was clear he was relieved. "So, uh, what are you going to do? I mean, with school?"
Cate shrugged, letting out a deep breath. "There's a day care around the corner from my mom's work. She agreed to drop Lux off in the mornings and pick her up in the afternoons. I need to find a job to pay for it though."
"Oh." Baze said awkwardly, shrugging nervously. "Well, I mean, when she stays with us, my mom said she can take her while we're at school. She offered to do that anyway."
Cate nodded, but she had no real intention of taking the Bazile's up on their offer. She knew Baze wanted to be there for Lux, but she needed to learn how to do things on her own.
"I should get going." Baze broke the silence after a few moments, standing up.
Cate nodded, standing alongside Baze. "Thanks for coming."
Baze smiled slightly and nodded in response, moving to stand over the crib. Cate backed up a few steps to give him some privacy with Lux, smiling as he kissed his fingers then placed them gently to her forehead.
After Baze had gone, Cate walked back over to the crib and leant against it tiredly, smiling as she watched her daughter sleep. "I'm so glad you're home, Lux. I love you so much."
After a few minutes of watching Lux sleep, she sighed and collapsed on her bed, instantly falling asleep, her mind only focused on her daughter.