Chapter 12

Deanna screamed, coming to with a jolt and sitting straight up in one motion. Immediately at her side were Selroi and the doctor.

"Take it easy, Deanna, you're safe now." Selroi said.

Deanna looked incredulous, not completely trusting her.

"Yes, you're safe." The doctor countered. "He's under guard again, and not likely escape from that cell. You're going to have a sore throat for another day or two," the doctor explained as he ran a tricorder over her.

Deanna swallowed once, wincing. She was surprised to see the guest quarters she had been assigned instead of Sickbay. The doctor seemed to notice her surprise. "You're here, rather in Sickbay thanks to Commander Selroi. I guess sickbays aren't going to be your favorite places for a while. But, that's fine with me. Sometimes, it isn't my favorite place either. I'll be back later to check on you."

Selroi had gone to the other room while the doctor was talking and she returned now with a steaming mug. "Hot chocolate," she said with a smile, "I know its one of your favorites."

Deanna took the mug and held it close, letting the aroma soothe her. Taking a sip, she sensed Selroi had news for her that wasn't pleasant. "Whatever it is, Ayven, you'd better tell me," she said softly.

Selroi sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "Rustim blames you for this, for everything that's happened since that last day on Grashnal. He's completely insane now, and I don't know if he'll ever recover." She sighed again. "I'm sorry to burden you with this..."

"But knowing is better." Deanna interrupted, "I'm not sure what to say. Rustim and I are, well, were, friends. But the person...that thing…that attacked me, wasn't Rustim anymore." A lone tear traced a path down her cheek. "I've never lost a friend to violence before. " She sipped her mug, lost in thought.

After several minutes, Ayven asked softly. "Will you be all right, Deanna?"

She blinked, startled out of her thoughts. "All right? Yes, I think so." Deanna gave her commanding officer a sincere look. "I don't think anything I could have done or said would have made a difference. Nor do I think that there was anything you could have done either, Ayven." Deanna added, sensing the commander's guilty feelings. She put the mug down on the nightstand. "I hope that all this," she waved her hand to indicate the ship, the planet, and all that the mission had encompassed, "will help me to do my job as well as you do yours, Ayven."

Selroi was taken aback by the compliment. "As well as I? My dear, one day, one day soon, you'll do better! I don't think there is a situation Starfleet can throw at you that you won't be able to handle."

"I think I'd like Selroi," Beverly said with a smile.

"I know she'd like you, too, Beverly. I still keep in touch with her. The last I heard from her, she was back on Betazed, basking in the glow of grandmother-hood." Deanna sensed (and knew) that Beverly wanted the rest of the story, and, after weathering the worst of it, she wanted Bev to sweat out the last details. Deanna rose and headed to the replicator. "Can I get you anything?"

"Oh, no, nothing for me." Beverly was distracted by one last question. "Um, Deanna, I don't mean to push, but what became of Rustim?"

Deanna brought her tea to the couch. "Well, whatever the priest did to his mind has had lasting effects. He still blames me for everything, including "letting" him go visit the priest. He's confined to the Institute on Betazed, with a team of specialists trying to figure out exactly what the priest did to his mind. Personally, I think part of Rustim's own psychological makeup is coming into play, and, until he realizes that, he'll never be the Rustim I knew."

Beverly shook her head in amazement. "So, that's it. That's why you don't like being in Sickbay."

"Yes. It's also why I've been having nightmares. When the rebels captured me, it was stressful, and I didn't like it. But when I beamed into Sickbay, still tied to that chair…." Deanna shuddered.

"It brought back all the memories of what Rustim did to you," Beverly finished. "You know, Deanna, I don't think you'll have nightmares anymore. You've put it all together, brought it out, examined it, and realized it can't hurt you anymore." Beverly looked smug. "And I only had two psychology classes at the Academy."

Deanna could only stare at her friend. Then, she began to laugh. "You're right! Rustim can't hurt me anymore." She quickly sobered. "Beverly, thank you. I—I don't know what else to say. You were right and—"

Beverly stopped her, "Please, Deanna, what I did, you would do for me." She stood and headed for the door. As she reached to unlock it, she paused and turned back towards Deanna, genuine concern showing on her face, but mirth in her eyes. "Now, do I need to come over tonight?"

A/N: I know you're reading. I watch my traffic screen! Now, if you liked it, review it. If you didn't like it, you can tell me that too! I don't care if you find this a week after I post, a month, heck, even years after I've posted--PLEASE REVIEW!! Kind of like those old labels when we rented VHS tapes--they said, "Be Kind, Rewind." I'm saying, "Be Kind, Review!!"

Respectfully submitted, RRSherlock.