Chapter 11
Luce's P.O.V.
The motel room that I got looks awful. It has cracks in the horrible green wallpaper, and the sheets look like they haven't been washed in a long time. " But what choice did I have? It's dark outside and I don't have enough money on me so that I can afford anything more fancy." I think to myself and walks into the little bathroom, it looks even worse than the room. I try to ignore the awful view and stank while I do my needs. On my way out I pass the mirror that hangs over the sink, and I want to look away from the girl that meets my eye. Her hair is a long, black mess, her skin looks paler than usual and her hazel eyes looks extremely tired. I can oversee my hair and skin, but when I see how hopeless and tired my eyes look, I just want to cry. Why couldn't things have stayed the same? Why did I leave campus? As the thoughts spin around in my head I can feel the tears starting to flow, and I let them. But when I see myself cry in the mirror I stop, I am not that kind of girl. " Stop it Luce! You are strong and you can do this. You can discover your past and make things right. Stop crying!" I practically yell at myself and dry away my tears. Then I walk over to the little bathtub, that also looks horrible, and turn on the water. It doesn't take that long for the water to get hot, but as I stand naked in the cold room it feels like an eternity.
I let the water surround me, I let it wash away the feelings of hopelessness, betrayal and scariness that I have. But as the water keeps running over my body I feel a spark inside of me, the same feeling I had just before I got that flashback at Sword and Cross. I reach towards that spark, trying to force a new flashback. Just when I'm about to give up, it happens.
I'm under water, deep under water. But it's not me me that's under water, it's the former me. I can feel how she's not afraid of being this deep under water, nor is she afraid of the darkness down here. She seems to be looking for something in the darkness, and I don't see of that should be possible giving the darkness. Then she turns her head up towards the surface and I can see with her eyes a golden light coming towards us. She smiles and something in me recognize that light. The light comes closer and I can see that it's shaped as a man, but there's something else. It looks like wings…
I breathe heavily as I return to the bathtub. The intensity from the flashback leaves my body shaking and I have to take several deep breaths before I can calm myself down enough to stop shaking. "What just happened?" I think to myself. But I know exactly what happened, I saw my past self and not just saw, I was inside her, inside her mind. And weirdly enough, I wasn't afraid of what had happened, it felt somehow familiar. After all, I had experienced that memory live in a somehow past life, and something told me that in that life I had experienced a flashback like this, and just like that the spark it's back and it throws me into another flashback.
I'm inside my past self again, but this time she's on dry land, or not dry land exactly it's all dark around her. However she seems to know where she's going, and suddenly I see a green meadow. A little bit away, there's a sort of castle, only it doesn't seem like it has been standing there for several hundred years though it definitely looks like the castles that were built in the 17th hundreds. "Where are we?" I hear myself ask, or not myself rather my former self. Until now I hadn't registered that there were someone with her, and she doesn't turn her head to look at the one that answers either. " We're in your past self Lucinda in Helston." A male voice answer. "She was rich?" My former self ask. "She was what you would call a sort of royalty in this era, and if I'm allowed to say it myself, you were kind of a bitch in this life."
Once again I'm back in the bathtub, but now the intensity of the flashback and what I just learned, makes me faint. "You lived several hundreds of lives before just like Cam said." I manage to think before I collapse on the bathtub floor. The second before the darkness takes me a finale thought appear in my mind, "You lived over 5 000 years on this earth."