Chapter 12

Lee sat leaning against a tree trunk anxiously waiting for Amanda, the gun ready at his side. It seemed as if she'd been gone for ages and his imagination began to present a variety of scenarios, none of them pleasant. He hated sending her off on her own. As senior agent, their safety was his responsibility...Shaking his head, he realized that he still had a long way to go when it came to relying on others. But, if he had to lean on someone, he was glad it was Amanda. She thought on her feet...

The sound of her approaching footsteps broke into his reverie and he sighed in relief. She was coming by herself, walking, not running. That meant no immediate danger. Lee put the safety back on the gun. AWhat did you see? Do you think it was Riley and his group?"

Amanda sat down beside him and related what she had overheard. "They're looking for us. They said that 'Riley really hates Scarecrow's guts.' I think I remember now—you're Scarecrow?" Lee confirmed her assumption and she continued. "Riley's sent these two men looking for us, apparently against the wishes of the leader. That's why they're only looking for us now— they had to wait until 'the big Boss' left before they set out. One of them is named Dwayne and the other is Bob." She paused then looked directly at Lee. "And someone named Frank really would like me back as well as most of the other men too!"

Lee grimaced, "I didn't want you to know about that."

"Why?"

"Well, if I didn't tell you, you wouldn't be worrying about it and it seemed we had enough to be thinking about..." His voice trailed off at her expression.

"I might not remember everything but a lot of memories have been coming back and I know this 'protect Amanda' is a recurring theme between us. Lee, I'm a grown woman, I know the world isn't always a pretty place and that we have a dangerous job. Please, just tell me the truth. I might be upset for a while but I'll deal with it. I'm a lot tougher than I look."

Taking in her resolved expression, Lee reluctantly told Amanda about Frank's treatment of her. He related what Marcus had said, that Amanda had bit her assailant and that as punishment she'd been hit and kicked. "He came back with plans to continue where he'd left off..."

Amanda sat silently beside him, staring at the ground. "I can remember some of it now. Marcus was tied up and couldn't do anything to stop the guard. I was so scared and worried too. You'd been unconscious for quite a while and the cut on your head had bled a lot. I didn't know if you were all right and there was nothing I could do to help you..." Her voice trembled as tears threatened. Lee reached out, drawing her to him.

"Amanda, this is why I didn't tell you. I can't stand to see you upset. I never want to cause you any pain."

For a moment, Amanda absorbed the comfort offered but then sat up and stared studiously at the ground. "Lee," she said softly. "Why did you tell me the truth this morning? About the fact that we didn't have a 'relationship' like I thought."

He wondered why she was bringing that topic up right now and answered slowly, not sure where the conversation was going. "Because it wasn't fair for me to let you go on thinking we were married. You were doing things under a false assumption and needed to know the facts."

"So this morning telling me the truth was the right thing to do because knowing all of the facts was important, even though it upset me."

"Right. I didn't like making you cry but it was for your own good."

"Then doesn't that hold true for this situation with Frank, and all of the other situations you try to shield me from?"

"Well..."

"Lee, look at me." Amanda turned to face Lee and he shifted a bit so that he could see her face.

"I might cry or get upset when you tell me the truth about something but it's okay. Crying is just a way of getting the feelings out so that you can move on. Tears can be healing. Yes, sometimes the truth will upset me but I need the chance to deal with it. When you tell me the truth, you let me know that you trust me and believe that I'm capable of handling things. It empowers me to know what I'm facing. Then I can make the necessary changes or decisions to deal with it."

Lee looked down at the woman in front of him. Her lashes were spiky and her nose was slightly pink, A few stray tears had left tracks down her dusty face and little bits of leaves and grass were stuck in her hair from crawling along the ground. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Maybe fate was giving him the opening that he needed.

He put a finger under her chin and raised her face so that their eyes met.

"Amanda, if I'm to be completely truthful, I have something else to tell you. I know I said that we were just good friends but, for some time now, I've wanted us to be more. Yesterday, and this morning, with your memory loss, you felt that you loved me and, maybe those feelings weren't real but... I hope that they were." He reached up and cupped her face with his hand and tenderly ran his thumb over her cheek. "I was honored that, even if it was only in your imagination, you might think of me as a husband and a lover. I don't know how you'll feel about me, once your whole memory returns but, even if you discover that your feelings for me are only friendship, I want you to know that, no matter what happens, I love you."

"Oh, Lee!" Amanda sighed. "I know that I still have some amnesia but, from the very moment I regained consciousness after the crash, I've known, in here," she pressed a hand to her heart, "that you were special to me. It just felt right." She cupped and caressed his face, just as he was doing to hers. "Even as more and more of my memory returns, the feeling that I belong to you has stayed. If anything, it's grown stronger. I don't know why I never told you before— maybe I was afraid, I don't know..." She shook her head and smiled tremulously. "Lee, I love you. I love you with my whole heart!" She reached up and placed her lips against his, as if trying to show him with actions the conviction behind her words.

Lee returned her kiss, carefully pressing her against his body with his good arm. He put all of his love into the kiss, tenderly caressing her lips with his before running his tongue along the seam, asking permission to enter. She opened for him and the tips of their tongues met, each tasting the other. Probing deeper, he explored the sweet, moist cavern as waves of passion rose within him.

Finally drawing away, he stared deeply into her eyes. Deep brown orbs were carefully studying his face. She seemed to be trying to memorize each of his features. Her gaze was almost like a physical touch, skimming his cheek bones, tracing his nose, caressing his lips... Slowly the softness left her face and frown began to mar her brow. Puzzled by the change in her expression, Lee drew back.

"Amanda? What's wrong?"

"Lee, you look terrible!"

"Thanks!" He tried to laugh off her concern but seeing her serious expression, the smile drifted from his face. As the euphoria of their kiss faded, he became increasingly aware of his physical state. Chills were replacing the fever he had previously had. Reluctantly he admitted as much to her. "I don't think I'm going to be of much use to you any longer. All my energy is going towards fighting this infection. If Marcus doesn't bring some help soon, you might have to fend for yourself."

"Lee! Don't say that!" Amanda's distress was evident in her voice.

"Remember, you wanted honesty," Lee gently reminded her. "If I should lose consciousness or...anything..." he continued grimly, "If we're in danger of capture ... You save yourself. I don't want them getting their filthy hands on you. You take the gun and whatever supplies you need and head east, just like Marcus did— you understand me?"

Amanda nodded, pressing her lips firmly together. "It won't come to that, Lee, I know it won't!"

Lee smiled at her and squeezed her hand. He could feel his strength rapidly fading. For the last day and a half, he'd been pushing himself hard but knew he couldn't keep up the front any longer. For her sake though, he tried to be a bit more positive.

"I don't think we should return to the camp today until almost dusk in case Riley's goons return. They'll likely continue down the mountain by whatever route Marcus took, but on the off chance that they double back, we don't want them taking us by surprise. Once night comes, it should be safe; they won't travel in the dark. We can sleep in the back of the chopper - it won't be comfortable but it will provide some shelter. Come morning, we'll head back here — near enough to hear Marcus' rescue team but far enough away in case our 'friends' are still looking for us."

Amanda took a steadying breath and gave him a wobbly smile. "It sounds like a plan but for now, I need to put on my Bedside Bluebell hat and make my patient comfortable."

She pushed the needles and leaves littering the forest floor into a makeshift mattress and pulled some of the clothing from the duffle bag, forming a bed. Easing Lee down, she used two t-shirts as blankets and then wrapped her arms around him, sharing her body heat in an effort to dispel his chills.

"Is this in the Bedside Bluebell manual?" He asked with a smile.

"I wrote my own chapter," she responded. "Now try to rest."