Story: I Feel it All
Chapter Twelve, Your Fire
Author: Bellakatalina
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Takes place after A Thin Line between Chuck and Nate. The story starts as soon as Blair leaves the bar after talking to Chuck. Blair doesn't runaway she stays and decides to disappear.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Gossip Girl…
"Get up, get out, get away from these liars
'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time"
Open your Eyes, Snow Patrol
Blair had been dreading this moment walking up the steps of Constance Billiard's was going to be worse then the last time she had left them. Now, everyone thought she actually had been pregnant and had an abortion. Although being pregnant would have destroyed Blair's world she knew the moment she took the pregnancy test she would have kept the baby. She hadn't even considered the possibility of an abortion, but now everyone thought she had killed her baby. To make it worse everyone also thought she had thrown herself at Nate.
Other way around. Blair thought bitterly.
She could see Nate staring at her from the top of the stairs with shame in his eyes, and Blair quickly averted her eyes breaking the contact.
He's just going to pretend like I did through myself at him, isn't he? Asshole. Selfish jerk.
She breathed in quickly. Blair had known the first day back would be very difficult, but the sooner she did it the sooner it would be over with. Blair could start plotting her way back to the top. Especially now that she had her true friends to help her. She gave herself a small smile trying to encourage herself.
Blair heard the insults coming from her former friends.
'Slut'
'Murderer'
Blair eyed the ground. She refused to let them see her cry. These people who had claimed to be her best friends and the boy who vowed he was in love with her were currently relentless. The tears in her eyes were threatening to fall at any moment. Their words were too cruel, and everyone in the school was watching and laughing. Blair had to hurry into the building so she could lock herself into the girl's bathroom.
As Blair ascended the first step she felt something being thrown at her. She turned to the direction where the object had come from, and she saw Jenny Humphrey.
Jenny gave Blair an evil smile. "You might want to try using one of those next time." Jenny said.
Blair looked down to the ground to see the package of a condom on the floor. Before Blair could look up to give Jenny an icy reply she felt another object being thrown at her.
Penelope, Hazel, and even Isabel were joining in the torment, as well. Jenny wrapped her arm around Nate and offered him the box. He reached his hand in and threw one at Blair.
'Whore' Nate said as he looked at her in disgust.
Blair could hear everyone laughing. She ran inside not caring that her tears were falling she just wanted to get out of there. As she pushed the door and entered the hall way, Blair saw Serena walking towards her locker.
"Oh Serena, thank god!" Blair cried out in between sobs.
Serena stopped in her tracks and looked at Blair whose body was shaking from her tears.
"Can we talk, please?" Blair begged.
"Sorry, Blair, but I still have a shot at a good reputation, but you- you shot your reputation to hell a long time ago, you are a Waldorf." Serena finished as she continued walking past Blair.
"Serena! What's going on?" Blair asked in shock.
"I'm out, Blair. Handle this on your own." Serena said not even looking back.
Blair's tear continued to fall down her cheek. What was going on? Serena was supposed to help her get through this. Now, she had lost everyone. Except for Chuck, he would always be there for her. Blair began to race towards St. Jude's side of the school not caring who saw her. Blair needed Chuck. He was the only one who could fix this. He was the only one who could fix her.
"Chuck?" she called as she walked through the hall. "Chuck? Where are you?!" Blair cried out trying to find him desperately.
"Easy, Waldorf." Chuck said walking towards her with curious eyes. "You bellowed?"
Blair threw herself onto Chuck. She wrapped her arms around him pressing herself against him.
"Oh god, Chuck, it is terrible!" Blair sobbed into Chuck's chest, but she felt him tense under her arms.
What is wrong with him? Why isn't he holding me?
Chuck sighed for a second and the grabbed her arms and pushed Blair off of him.
"Your point?" Chuck asked cruelly. His eyes were cold and they burned into her.
"Wh-What?" Blair stuttered out as she took a small step away from Chuck.
Why is he doing this? What happened to being friends?
"I thought I told you this already, Waldorf. I don't want you." Chuck said without a hesitation.
"You have no one." Chuck said as he too walked away from her.
"Chuck, I need you! Stop, please! Chuck, come back!" Blair sobbed.
--
Chuck was starting to get worried. Blair was never one to sleep in, but he decided if she wanted rest he would let her be, but now it was nearly noon so had decided to check in on her and had heard her crying out in her sleep.
"Blair- wake up!"
Blair opened her eyes blinking several times confused.
"Blair, please wake up!" She heard Chuck's voice say as arms were shaking her forcefully. Blair lifted her head looking around her and meeting Chuck's worried eyes. She sat up at once grabbing at Chuck.
"Hey, what's going on? Are you okay?" Chuck said as he gently rubbed her back and wrapped his other arm around her.
"It's okay, Blair. Whatever it is, it's okay. I've got you now, I've got you." He said soothingly as he rested his head on top of Blair's as buried her head into his chest.
Blair pulled away for a moment. She wiped away the tears she had in her eyes with the back of her hand and looked at Chuck confused.
"You fell asleep here last night." Chuck said answering her confusion. "And I slept on the couch." Chuck added quickly before she could slap him or send him a dirty glare.
"Did you have a nightmare, Blair?" Chuck asked going crazy not knowing what was bothering her.
"It was a nightmare-all of it." Blair said sounding relieved. "It was so terrible, the gossip girl post and then going back to school. All of it, just a bad dream."
Chuck sighed unhappily at her words.
"Blair, I'm sorry." He said wrapping her into his arms. "But, the gossip girl post did happen. But, we will fix it. I promise you, Blair, we will fix this." Chuck told Blair as he gently cupped her chin up to meet his eyes.
"How?"
Chuck gave her his evil smirk. "I was thinking total social destruction." He replied remembering Blair's words from when she had planned to ruin Serena.
"Not enough" Blair pleaded.
"Okay, well. This is you and me we are talking about. We plot better than anyone. She won't know what hit her. I promise you." Chuck said wiping her tears away.
"She?" Blair questioned.
"It was Jenny. Apparently, she knew you had been in the hospital."
"Jenny Humphrey did this?" Blair couldn't believe Jenny would go this far.
"Do you trust me, Blair?"
Blair looked into Chuck's eyes. Her nightmare had truly scared her. The worst part hadn't been the mockery or losing Serena. The worst had been Chuck walking away from her, just as he had before. What if he did it again? Could she trust him?
His eyes should his sincerity. Blair nodded her head yes because regardless of everything that had come to pass, she did-she completely trusted Chuck with everything.
"We'll get the bitch." Chuck said looking directly into Blair's eyes.
"We've got Dan, Eric, and of course Serena who are all more than willing to help."
"Brooklyn? Really he is willing to get his hands dirty?"
"To a certain degree. He doesn't want to know specifics, just anything he can do to help take down his sister he wants in on. I promised I wouldn't hurt her-physically at least." Chuck explained.
"And Eric and Jenny have been friends, but since you've always been like another sister to him he is willing to do whatever it takes to get her." Blair gave a small smile at the thought of Little E willing to help her as well. He had always been like a little brother to her as well. She had grown up with him.
"You know Serena is of course going to help. Only you would be worthy enough to merit the return of Serena van der Woodsen." Chuck continued as he ran his hand through her hair. "Her game is almost as good as yours."
"But neither of you can compete with me." Chuck said as he watched Blair raise her brow in protest. Unconsciously, Blair bit her lower lip for a second and then just barely ran her tongue across her bottom lip. Chuck's eyes followed the action mesmerized.
So red. She has the most perfect lips. They're so pouty and begging to be kissed.
Chuck wanted so badly to lean in and kiss her lips. It seemed so difficult for him to remember how soft they had been. Her kiss had held such passion, like no other kiss he had ever experienced with any other her lips so close, Chuck was being overtaken by desire.
She wants to be friends. Don't ruin it now that she is finally talking to you.
"Chuck?"
"Where did you go? Did you get lost in my eyes?" Blair teased as she smiled at him.
"Not likely, Waldorf." Chuck replied. For just a moment Blair's smile tightened but she recovered before Chuck has a chance to notice.
"So are you ready to get out of bed? It's nearly noon." Chuck informed an oblivious Blair.
"Sorry I stole your bed." Blair said remembering Chuck had slept on the couch.
"I'm not used to leaving a beautiful woman alone in a bed, but for you I was willing to make the sacrifice." Her eyes brightened at the word beautiful.
"Thank you, Chuck."
"Okay, Waldorf, go get dressed. Serena and I are taking you out to lunch so we can start plotting." Chuck said as he got off the bed.
At the mention of going out Blair froze. The thought of running into someone she knew scared her to death. She wasn't ready for that.
"Why don't we stay in? We could order in." Blair suggested and hoped that Chuck didn't see through her. Unfortunately, Chuck had learned to read Blair long ago.
"Blair, that can't take it away from you." He said still studying her.
"Take what from me?"
"Your strength. Your determination. They can't that away from you. Blair, you don't need them to tell you who you are because you tell yourself. What are you scared of, Blair?"
The words made her bring her fears to the front of her mind. Without thinking Blair rerplied honestly
"Losing everyone. Being alone. I make everyone leave. My dad, Serena, then Nate, and even you." Blair said looking up at him with tear filled eyes. Chuck could see the sincerity and her insecurity in her. He walked back to her and gently sat down next to her.
"I'm sorry, Blair. It will never happen again. You will always have me…and Serena." Chuck added quickly. "I wish you could see how amazing you are. You need to understand that, Blair. You are beautiful, intelligent and witty. No one holds a candle to you." Blair turned away from the words. As much as she wished it to be true it was too difficult to be true.
"I won't stop telling you, Blair." Chuck said knowing the Blair was not comfortable hearing what she deserved to be told.
"So are you guys coming or what?" Serena's loud voice yelled through the apartment as she tried to find her missing friends.
"Blair, you're not even dressed yet?" Serena asked unhappily. "C'mon guys I am starving."
"I'm going. I'm going." Blair exclaimed as she moved away from Chuck.
"Hurry, B, I don't want to wait for you to try on your entire wardrobe."
"I'll see what I can do." Blair replied as she walked out of the room.
--
Jenny was trying to decide what to do as she paced around her room nervously. She had hoped that Nate would have called by now. He had promised to call her yesterday. Would she seem too desperate if she called him? Jenny kept checking the phone in her hand making sure it was turned on and willing it to ring.
The knock on the door had momentarily snapped her out of her trance.
"Come in." She yelled not wanting to look away from her phone.
"Jenny?" the male voice asked as he opened the door.
"Nate, hey, you came by. I was hoping you would call, but this is even better." She smiled excitedly.
"Jenny, we need to talk." Nate replied seriously not returning her enthusiasm.
"Okay," Jenny said as she sat on the edge of her bed. "What's up, Nate?"
Nate reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He looked through his screen until he found what he wanted. He shoved the phone in front of her face.
"Did you send this, Jenny?" Nate asked angrily.
"Wh-what?" Jenny asked when she noticed his anger.
"Did you send it?"
"Why would you think- I mean how…" Jenny trailed off.
"Only four people know about Blair. So, I am asking you, did you send this to gossip girl?"
"Nate…" Jenny said trying to come up with an excuse or a lie to cover her tracks. What could she say?
But, her silence had been enough to answer his question. He took a step back at looked at her with disgust.
"God, Jenny. You know I thought you were better than all of this. But, you are worse." He said not able to look at her any longer.
"I didn't… I wouldn't." Jenny lied as she looked at her hands.
"I can't believe you do something like this."
"What about you Nate?" Jenny yelled because she knew she was losing him. "How can you just go back to her? She had sex with Chuck Bass, your best friend, and she lied to you, Nate."
"That's between me and her." Nate said feeling no reason to explain his actions to Jenny.
"So, gossip girl was telling the truth? You really are back together with her even after everything she's done. She ruins people. Blair uses people and she doesn't care about anyone but herself."
"Blair would never do anything like what you did to her." Nate said as he began to walk out of her room.
"Nate-please." Jenny called after him but to no avail.
"Shit." She cried as Nate shut the door leaving the loft.
"Oh God. How do I fix this?" Jenny began raking her brain for a plan. She was over her head. Jenny needed help. Penelope and Hazel were her only hope.
--
Nate needed to talk to Blair. He had overreacted and ended things poorly. He had to apologize to Blair and if she wanted to be friends that would be his start.
I can win her over. She's always been in love with me. That doesn't just go away.
Serena had told Nate that Blair would be staying with her at the Palace for a couple of weeks. It was pointless to call because Blair would probably just ignore her call.
--
Waiting on Blair to finish getting ready was leaving Serena starving. She had just gone in to check on Blair while Chuck sat in the living room waiting. When he heard the knock on the door Chuck went to answer it hoping that Serena could hurry Blair along.
Not likely.
As he opened the door, Chuck was a bit shocked to see his former friend standing before him, but didn't let the emotion register on his face.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Chuck demanded as stepped outside into the hallway and closed the door behind him to prevent Nate from coming in.
"I need to talk to Blair."
"Well, Nathaniel I'm sorry but that won't be possible."
"Look, Chuck, I just want to see if she is okay." Nate said getting angry.
"Rest assured she is. No thanks to you."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Nate demanded.
"I think you've done enough to hurt Blair." Chuck said menacingly. "I won't let you do it again!"
"Me?" Nate said in disbelief. "You think I am the one hurting Blair? Really? Because I am sure that you were the one that was slept with Blair like she was just another one of your sluts! And then I'm pretty sure you were the one who blogged to gossip girl, weren't you?"
Chuck couldn't reply he had done that. The thing that had ruined Blair in everyone else's mind. But, it didn't matter. Chuck had apologized to Blair. They were creating a friendship.
"You sick son of a bitch!" Nate yelled shoving Chuck against the door.
"Do you really want to do this again?" Chuck demanded. "Because even if you fight me I won't let you hurt her anymore. Yes I did fuck up, but I can fix it. I will fix it, and I will make it up to Blair! I care for her, Nate." Chuck added the last part hoping Nate would realize the sincerity he felt towards Blair.
The honesty in Chuck's voice as well as the fact that he had called him Nate stopped him from yelling back immediately. Chuck never called him Nate. When had this happened? Nate was trying to plan out his next step. Chuck had shocked him by saying he cared about Blair.
"I didn't do it to hurt you, or Blair. I cared about her. I have for a while." Chuck said looking at Nate honestly.
"I care about her too, Chuck." Nate said wanting to express his feelings. "Look, I don't want to fight with you, but I'm not giving up on Blair."
Chuck eyed Nate uncertainly.
"I'm not planning on giving in either, Nathaniel."
"So, what do we do?" Nate asked.
"I don't know. We let her decide." Chuck said.
Nate shook his head in agreement.
"And where does that leave us?"
"I suppose a truce for now?' Chuck suggested. "But you still have to get Blair to forgive you." Chuck smirked knowing he had a bit of an advantage over Nate at the moment.
"I don't want to play games, Chuck." Nate said seriously.
"We've hurt her enough, and each other." Chuck replied in agreement.
Chuck offered out his hand to Nate who looked at it hesitantly before shaking it. Not enough time had passed for their former friendship or a man hug, but this was a start.
"I would never have let a girl come in between us if it wasn't serious." Chuck added. "Serena, Blair, and I were about to go to lunch. It seems little Jenny Humphrey is spreading the gossip about Blair. We're planning on taking her down. Interested?" Chuck asked.
Nate had never taken part is plotting or destruction, but this was an opportunity to spend time with Blair, and he was disgusted with what Jenny had done. He nodded his head.
"Well, I guess you get to go and try to apologize to Blair." Chuck said as he opened the door for Nate to enter.
"But, I will be watching you, Archibald." Chuck said with a smirk.
"Don't get too confidant, Chuck." Nate said giving a small smile.
--
Lunch for the foursome had started out a very awkward affair. Blair was unsure how to act with the two men in her live which had caused so much of this drama. Serena was happy that the foursome was together again, but unsure what had happened between Chuck and Nate.
How has they gone from fighting each other to going out to eat?
Luckily, Chuck had a few ideas up his sleeve, so they quickly got down to business discussing details. His plan would work he was sure of it. Everyone would have to pull of their portion flawlessly but it shouldn't be difficult.
As their meal was winding down the group had even begun to enjoy themselves. They were laughing like old times. Nate looked over at Blair laughing and decided to take his chance.
"Blair, I have some tickets for Chicago tonight if you would like to go, as friends of course." He smiled looking at her hopefully.
Damn, he had to get tickets to her favorite Broadway show. It is on, Archibald!
--
Gossip Girl: Looks like P, H and Little J have been planning some mischief over lattes at Starbucks. When the dethroned queens away the mice will play. Can't wait to see what's in store. You know you love me! XOXO!
--
A/n
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your encouragement. I am in a really hectic part of my semester so my updates are going to be a little less frequent, but on the upside I have finished planning the story out so no more writer's block! You are wonderful and I hope you are still enjoying the fic! Leave me some love please!