Matthias and Berwald

This is just the history of Matthias and Berwald – yes, SuDen, and SuFin – which is leading up to the Denmano, which there will definitely be. Because I love both of them, and they fill a hole in each other's lives! Also, I think a Skirmish-Fail-Brothers-Quartet would be totally cool and they would be kind of bound to get along.

This is in no way based on history or canon relationships. It's just for plot purposes (although I have stuck to the 'template' of both SuDen and SuFin.)

Also, Danish-Australian relationships are rather good from what I gather (largely based on SATW, though, so don't take it as gospel. Denmark just needed one interim friend between the Nordics and the Fail Brothers.)

Just to make it clear, I am messing with the traditional Nordic relationships for plot purposes. No offence intended!

Read and review!

ASAS xxx

The first time Matthias and Berwald met, they were eight and seven respectively.

A small boy of no more than eight climbs on to the bench against his fence. He is bored, and has been for a good twenty minutes. He is bored with the swing and the trampoline, bored with the TV and his toys. Everything's boring when you're by yourself, he supposes. He had moved to this new house not a month ago and had already scoped every nook and cranny, every den and hiding place. Although it is a very new house, so everything is wide and open plan. There is little exploring to be done.

He surmounts the last mystery: the fence dividing his and the adjacent garden to the left (he has already examined the next-door-to-the-right neighbour's house via trampoline. However there was an inconvenient cherry tree blocking his view of the left.

His heart leaps when he sees a child perhaps a year younger than him, sitting on a woollen rug which is a patch on an obscenely neat and manicured lawn bordered by absolutely perfect flowerbeds and shrubs of every size and colour. Water trickles down a pile of rocks into an uncovered pond. There is not a child's toy in sight.

The kid sits absolutely still. His hair is combed flat, and his intensely blue eyes stare at nothing behind wire frames.

Matthias vaults the fence with some difficulty and yells "Hey! Kid!" He kind of expects the kid to jump and is a little annoyed that he just looks at him, a slightly confused frown on his face. Jeez, he vaults the fence and yells and the kid hardly blinks. What does he have to do to get a reaction? "I'm your neighbour, th'awesome Matthias Køhler! Who're you?"

The kid gives him a very powerful glare that would probably be terrifying on someone older. "Wh't 're y' d'ing 'n m' g'rden?" Is the only verbal response he gets. Matthias takes a minute to process the slightly bizarre speech pattern before replying, "Th'awesome me was bored an' came t' see you, of course!" He speaks so fast his words run together slightly, making him sound about two or three years younger than he actually is.

The confusion level of the frown increased a bit. "'ve n'ver seen y' b'fore."

"I jus' moved in. Besides, be happy! You don' 'ave to be boredanymore! Play with me!"

"'m not 'llowed t' play. Migh' g' d'rty,'n put mud in the house." Matthias makes an expression like he had been told that Berwald isn't allowed to breathe. "So you've never made a mud pie?"

"No."

"Played 'it'?"

"N'-one t' play with."

"What do you DO?" His surprise expressed itself in a yell and flings his arms in the air for emphasis.

"Read b'ks." Matthias gasps dramatically before realisation dawns.

"Only child?"

"Y'p."

"Me too! This is awesome! Well, not awesome tha' you're not allowed to play, bu'… you 'ave me now!" He grinned a manic grin which did nothing to decrease the other's wariness of him.

"Th'awesome me hasalot to teach ya! Now, wha's your name, kid?"
The younger one gives him a look, like he's sizing Matthias up. He apparently decides he is effectively harmless, because he replies, "B'rw'ld."

"Borwuld?"

"B'rw'ld."

"Oh. Cool name, kid. Wha'ever th'ell it is, ahahaha!" He grinned even more before running up and tapping the other. "Yer it!" He sees the other's expression and adds, "C'mon, chase me already!

A tiny smile spreads across Berwald's face. He's never been included or played with like this before: his mum used to play with him, but she died when he was four. Sometimes he can barely remember her face or her voice. His dad is obsessive with cleaning, now, and discourages friendships in fear of mess.

A firm friendship was formed. They became each other's replacement brothers (although Matthias got an adoptive brother, Norge, at the age of ten, and another, Björn, at the age of thirteen) and Matthias's back garden was a sanctuary for them both. It was a Viking ship when they were younger, and together they would take over the whole world, country by country (if you count the whole world as Denmark (where Matthias spends every holiday with his extended family; he still has a soft Danish accent), Sweden (by coincidence it is very similar with Berwald and Sweden), England, Scotland, Wales, America and France. (That was their combined knowledge of world geography, not counting Matthias's country of Køhlerland, Dominator of the World, which he insisted existed up until Berwald got hold of a map. And even then he tried to claim 'Russia' was a misprint.) Berwald was first mate and Matthias captain. Matthias quickly discovered that Berwald's lack of knowledge about play time meant that he would do whatever Matthias asked. He was isolated at school because of his scariness and lack of social skills, so he didn't have anything to compare it with.

Later on they just talked or played football or swingball in Matthias's wild and overgrown but well-loved and equipped garden. One day when they were nine, Matthias yelled over the fence with even more vigour than usual.

The younger boy, who is only a few inches shorter than Matthias much to the Danish boy's disapproval, ambled over to the fence and climbed up the rope ladder they had surreptitiously installed (although Berwald's dad is a lot more easy-going these days; they mostly do it for the element of danger) with the same detached ease that permeated his every action. "There's this really cool thing we c'n do which means we'll be brothers, like, properly, forever and ever! I read it in a book in the teen section of the library! I didn't get a lot of it but still!"

A small smile that means he is really quite interested and happy, as per usual with these encounters. He never grins or shows teeth in his smile, and Matthias is slowly learning to read the more opaque subtleties of his expressions. "Wh't 'sit?"

"It's the blood brothers ceremony! It might be a bit hurty first but it'll be awesome afterwards, pinky swear!"

His expression shifts minutely from happy to suspicious and wary. "H'w d'y' mean h'rty?" Matthias grins even more. "'t's simple! You just cut your thumb, an' I cut mine, an' then we press them together. So your blood's in me, an' mine's in you, an' we're blood brothers forever an' ever!"

Berwald has his thinking face on. One of his more readable expressions. "Kay. D'y' h've a knife?" Matthias presented a rather sharp, but small, kitchen knife. "I made it super sharp. That way it hurts less. 'Kay, you do me and I'll do you. I'll go first cos I'm the awesomest." An almost imperceptible eye roll. Berwald held out his hand for the knife, but in a moment of confusion Matthias thought he'd misunderstood and cuts Berwald's thumb anyway. Unprepared the pain is much worse than it might've been, and a few tears spring in Berwald's eyes. Matthias quickly cuts his own thumb and presses it to Berwald's tightly. At the same time he draws the other boy into a comforting hug and wipes away his tears.

"Hey, c'mon, kid, it's ok. You're ok." He parts their hands, both splashed a little with red. "Look. Your blood's gone in my hand, now. And mine's in yours too." He smiles warmly and the other smiles weakly back. "We're connected forever now."

Berwald unexpectedly pulls the spikey-haired boy back into a hug. Matthias unexpectedly feels a bit warmer inside.

They both grew up a bit, and their little pairing grew. Both of Matthias's brothers were forced to be allowed to join by Matthias's mother, and later Tino, a boy from across the street, joined. Matthias and Berwald both started discovering things about themselves. Roughly along the lines of, 'If all my friends and all the TV shows say girls are gorgeous, why can't I see what the deal is?' Also, in Matthias's case, 'When did Berwald's arse get so great? Were his eyes always that blue?' And in Berwald's case, 'Tino is so cute. I will marry him when I am older.'

In response to the obvious growing closeness between Berwald and Tino, Matthias became aggressive and pushy. He was even more bossy than usual. Resentment from Berwald and Tino, who were a mere eight months younger than Matthias, grew and grew. Matthias and Berwald were suddenly distant in a way they never were before. Both of them sat on their sexuality like a spiked chair.

Eventually something had to give.

They have identical sombre looks on their faces when they meet each other in the corridor.

"W' need t' t'lk." Berwald has grown into a strapping man at only fifteen, whereas Matthias is long and lanky. Berwald is terrifying, and is kept away from. Matthias is considered weird and big headed. To a certain extent they only have each other. In distancing himself from Berwald etc., Matthias is more friendless than he would like to admit. He has Bruce, the loud Australian, that he can call a friend, and then only sort of. "Yeah, we do. Well, I need to talk to you, too." He suddenly decides he's waited long enough, he will confess, and fuck rejection. "Come round mine tonight, yeah?"

He smiles widely as he sees Berwald clamber over into his garden using the old, worn rope ladder that is still nailed to the fence.

He runs down the stairs to greet his friend and they go up to his room.

They sit on the bed next to each other, studiously avoiding eye contact. They are teenagers, after all. "You go first, kid." Matthias never stopped calling him that, even when the age gap became negligible. Berwald nods and starts, "I'm gay." His enunciation is unusually clear today. "Before you freak, this isn't a love confession. I'm telling you so you won't flip out when I tell you I have a boyfriend." Matthias's mind is racing. His heart begins to smoulder in his chest and he can practically feel bits falling off. 'It's Tino, oh, God, it's Tino.' "I'm going out with Tino, Matthias."

Matthias chuckles hollowly, all thought of confessing forgotten.

"Of course you are. I'm surprised I didn't see it already." He had run up the stairs envisioning Hollywood-esque scenes of mutual confession and love hidden in fear of rejection. What happens in reality is pretty much what he would have considered the worst case scenario.

"Wh't's th't s'posed to mean?" Berwald has his glare up to eleven and Matthias almost flinches. But he's too frozen. His brain has gone into shutdown and he just stares out of the window blankly.

"J'sus, M'tt, knew y'd take 't badly b't not th's badly." There is a little desperation in his voice but still Matthias can't find it in himself to answer. He's not quite prepared to answer him yet.

Berwald looks heartbroken. "'m… 't's st'll me, M'tt." Matthias just drops his head, hiding his face. His tears. "You don't care at all, do you?" He has a tendency to articulate when he is angry. Voice soft but clear. "I can't change who I am. What am I to you?" A pause.

"Nothing, clearly. All this time, you didn't care. I change one thing and I'm dead to you. What do you think I am? Your lackey? Someone who revered you, did whatever you said, someone you could just use and boss around? I was just some fucking ego-booster? Even when we were kids…" By now it's like some kind of out-of-body experience. Matthias, the real Matthias, is watching this like a horror film, screaming at himself to say something, anything. The one in the real-life horror film does nothing.

"I d'n't w'nt t' see y'anymore. D'n't wait f' me t' walk t' school w'th y'. I'll go w'th Tino." He walks toward the door. As he's almost gone, Matthias croaks out, "You can't leave. We're blood brothers, you and me. We're s'posed to be like brothers."

Berwald chuckles dryly and replies, "Y'r not my brother." He doesn't so much as look back.

Berwald and Tino began ignoring Matthias at school. The first day Matthias bounded up to Berwald when he saw him walking, like nothing happened. But Berwald just blanked him no matter what he said or did.

He couldn't face school without Berwald. He didn't like hanging around with Bruce, and anyway it wasn't fair to use the kid as a 'spare friend'. He discovered alcohol, beer to be precise, fell in with the wrong crowd. He began hanging around with the Dutch stoner, bunking off with the guy who got cheap Cuban cigars from his dad, and going out drinking with some nutty Russian kid and his terrified entourage. He would come in at two in the morning reeking of booze and weed. His grades plummeted, so he moved out of his school to a school a few miles away.

He picked himself up and began living his life again, away from Berwald and booze and weed. However he would often get drunk at home, alone, or cry himself to sleep.

His brother Norge decided enough was enough. Matthias was already sad enough without getting pissed alone in his room and crying himself to sleep. And his decision to do something coincided with his joining the same magic club as a certain quasi-alcoholic English punk, who he thought his brother would get on quite well with.

"That's enough."

Matthias gazed up at his adoptive brother with tear stained eyes. "Wha-"

"There's someone I'd like you to meet. He's an idiot like you, but in a different way. You should get on well."

The spikey-haired teen looks distraught, "But he's not Berwald!" he semi-wailed.

"If you do not at least meet him, I will confiscate your Carlsberg." That settles it for Matthias. Life without beer is like a broken pencil: pointless.

"Come to my magic club on Thursday after school. Please try not to look utterly pathetic. He is pretty cool, even though he's an idiot, so he has standards." He doesn't wait for answer or a comeback, although he does add at the door, "I'm not doing this for you. I can hear you sobbing at night through the wall and it's keeping me up."

Matthias smiles weakly, "Sure, Norgie. I'm just so awesome everyone wants to help me."

Norge sends a withering look over his shoulder and continues, "So if anyone asks you're my overprotective brother keeping me safe from axe-muderers. And the word isn't 'awesome'. It's 'pitiful'."

Matthias was on his way up.