Thank you, as usual to all those who have reviewed! Please continue to do so even if its to tell me off for take so long to update. I would give you an excuse, but none seem good enough. Please, please review, it reminds me that I'm not writing just for myself anymore!
Unfortunately this particular journey to middle earth is coming to a close within the next chapter or so. So please stay tuned!
I will be publishing another Haldircentric fic after this one called White Horses Over Rohan, so please keep an eye out for it!
Thanks So much my readers! I truly wouldn't have made it this far without you!
They traveled for nine days more in the same fashion. Vanwamin slept little for when she did the same disturbing nightmare would assault her and when she awoke she could remember nothing but smoldering trees and a wrecked car. Haldir did nothing to help her, he was withdrawn and associated little with anyone. She understood his need to protect his Lord and Lady, and respected it. However she longed to talk with someone. Arwen, while perfectly amiable, was far too distracted in her own worries to be bothered. She was far too intimidated to approach the Lady of Lorien, who would send her reassuring smiles wherever they caught each others gaze. So that left her alone in her own mind. A scenario that was less than fun.
On the ninth day they crested a hill heavily burdened with little pale blue flowers. Each step the silver horses took dozens of the tiny flowers were crushed beneath their hooves. She wondered if each innocent flower felt its death, mourned for those around it. Vanwamin shook her head, trying to clear away the morbid thoughts. She turned her face to the warm sun that was shining through the clouds. There was still a chill bite to the spring air but the sun was pleasantly warm and engulfing.
In the distance stood a city, the likes of which she had never seen before. It sprang from the mountains, great and white, a single pinnacle puncturing the sky in ardent exclamation of dynamism.
Awestruck she took the city in, it was beautiful and at the same time struck with sorrow. It had not been untouched by the war that she had fallen into, the air was thick with same anguish that forced her into the hall where Haldir lay dying. She glanced across the line of horses and riders to the proud elf. He was staring at the city, stoic as usual. Unwavering in his dedication to his people, his family, he life. She smiled briefly, a vision of what her life might be like if she was not plagued by lost memories and horrible dreams, playing in her mind. But she was and that would not change until she found out who she was. Her smile faltered when he returned her gaze, his was unreadable. She turned her gaze back to the city that was slowly growing larger. She could pick out the people milling around the seven levels that built the city.
Happy noises drifted down from the mountain city, music and joyous laughter. It seemed the dark sorrow was fading from this land. It lightened her mood slightly and chills spread over her body at the sound of welcoming horns. The surrealism of this moment, sitting atop a white horse sans bridle and saddle, dressed in the finely tailored garb of ethereal beings, being welcomed into a grandiose city, hit her hard. This was not a normal thing that happened everyday, she didn't need her memories to know that.
She clutched Andaer's mane in her hand as they entered a vast and consuming gate. The entire city was alive and buzzing, people were yelling and children were laughing. It made Vanwamin smile like nothing else had. A small boy came running from between two carts and straight into Andaer, the horse stopped and dipped his head to stare at the boy. The little boy gasped and looked between Andaer's massive head and Vanwamin who smiled warmly at him. The horse seemed to decided the little boy was less of a threat than first thought. He stepped backwards and nudged the boy around him. Still stunned by running into the beast of a horse the boy continued to stare for half a minute before shrieking with laughter and running away. Vanwamin couldn't help but laughing herself and as she turned to find her company she was met with Haldir's own smiling face. He helped her down and sent the horse on his way with a groom.
"You look to be in a much better spirits," Vanwamin said as they made their way through the crowded streets. He looked down at her, still smiling.
"You as well," he said. "I've never seen you smile so much."
"What do you mean?" She asked slightly baffled. "I smile just as much when I am with Rumil and Marrowyn." Haldir frowned. "And with you!" She laughed elbowing him in the ribs. He shook his head.
"No, Vanwamin. You are truly happy, you do not show such exuberance with us." His features fell and sorrow clouded his eyes. "Maybe you belong here in Gondor with your own people." Vanwamin however was not listening to a word he was saying. Her eyes were fixed on a distant subject with interest and pain.
She saw a little girl with raven hair and pale blue eyes dancing with several other children, the little blue flowers from the plains entwined in their hair. Her breath was stolen from her in a silent swoosh as the little girl from her dreams materialized and recognition lingered in her head. She knew this child, she knew she did. Running forward she tried to plow her way through the crowd but they converged as a wagon full of apples was pulled across her path. As the way cleared the little girl disappeared into the crowed on the other side of courtyard. A scream welled up in Vanwamin's throat as she pursued the girl through the throng of people and into the stone archways that lead to open air gardens and courtyards. Even here to crowd was too thick to keep up with the nimble child. She wanted to cry when she realized that she had finally lost her. A thousand questions ran through her head as she slowly wandered to one of the stone sills to sit down. Who was the child? How did she know her? Could she help her find her way home?
"What in Eru's name are you doing?" Asked Haldir who had made little effort to keep track of her, the bond let him know where she was.
"I know her Haldir, I don't know what her name is, or how I know her, but I do."
"Who?" Asked Haldir resting a hand on her shoulder.
"The little girl," Vanwamin said shaking her head. "I have to find her."
"Then we will find her." Haldir wrapped his arms around her and for once she relaxed into his embrace.
"She's my only hope," she muttered.
"No," he said holding her at arms length. "You are your only hope Vanwamin. It all lies with you." He lifted her chin so she had to look at him and stared into her eyes for a long second. "Now its time we rejoined our company, they will be missing us."
Haldir and Vanwamin were shown to their separate but adjoining accommodations in a wing far far from the bustle of the inner city. They were in a tear below the main atrium of the citadel near the sixth gate. Here in Minas Tirith the rooms were slightly more closed in and a lot less comfortable. Every thing was stone and it made Vanwamin long for the soft forest of Lorien. Her bed was almost more luxurious though, with several layers of down and thick fur blankets. Eager to continue her search for the little girl she changed from her traveling clothes and washed as quickly as possible before knocking softly on Haldir's door.
"Enter," he called out. She pushed the heavy door open to find Haldir lounging on his bed, hair undone and bootless.
"I wanted to.. um..." She was completely distracted by the strange relaxed aura the elf exuded.
"You wanted to?" Haldir asked propping himself up on an elbow.
"Uh...oh! Go looking for the little girl, she can't be that far..." She couldn't tear her eyes away from him. What on earth was wrong with her? She shook her head as he sat up and pulled his boots on.
"Well, we should go then," he said invading her space slightly. The peace he felt when he was near her was getting stronger. He needn't be as near to her to feel completely sedate, since she had seen the girl the feeling was growing. Even with her in the next room he had felt equable.
He lead the way through city, gate after gate until they reached the great gate that lead into Pelennor Fields. All the while he told her of the city's history and of the people that once lived there. Of the great kings of men who ruled. She found herself disappointed when they didn't find the girl again, but completely engrossed in the stories Haldir was telling. She wanted to remember if she had stories like this to tell, if she would tell them so eloquently to him as he told them to her.
They searched for the little girl for three more days. Haldir finally convinced Vanwamin to cease the search and wait for the girl to come to her. They would travel the city each day, meeting frequently with Orophin or other members of their guard. The day of Arwen and Aragorn's wedding the population of Minas Tirith seemed to triple. There were men, women, and children traversing the streets singing and rejoicing. It was mid-years day and the sun shone brightly. Atop of the bastion of rock that split the halves of the city, gathered around the seat they witnessed the marriage of Aragorn to Arwen. Vanwamin couldn't help but be slightly confused by the ceremony and its underlying implications. This was a sign of a new era for these people a knew life free of war.
As the bride and groom lead the procession away Vanwamin slipped her hand into Haldir's and squeezed. If she did not find the child before they left Minas Tirith, she would move on, she would give herself freely and completely to the elf that had been trying so hard to help her. She would forget that she couldn't remember and move on with her life. She would return the help she had been given and the love she was afraid of.
Haldir look down at her curiously, she had some strange glassy eyed emotion swirling about her. He did not care for she was close and that was all that mattered at the moment. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. She glanced up and smiled, a determined look in her eyes.
Later that evening they adjourned to the Great Hall of Feasts to celebrate. The hall was filled to capacity with people. They ate and danced, sang and yelled of the memorable day. Vanwamin sat as a guest at a long table to right of the high table. She, Haldir, Orophin, the company guard, and several others were seated here. It was here, half way through a course of what she could only call "human" food, she realized who Aragorn was. He had been the man who pulled her into the clutches of Helms Deep, he had very inadvertently set in motion of series of events that had completely changed her, whoever she was. She wanted to approach him and congratulate him and his bride, she wanted to thank him, but didn't know the customs of this world nearly well enough. Maybe at some point they would mingle with their people and she would get a chance to thank Aragorn.
At some point their entire company abandoned the tables and set out to the dance floor. Something told Vanwamin that she was not nearly as good at dancing as she was at sitting and come to find out she was absolutely correct. She stumbled over her own feet in attempt to keep time with the exuberant music. She laughed though. Laughed at herself, laughed for herself, she laughed as she hadn't in as long as she could remember.
She finally rested her aching feet as the music toned to a placid level. She stood listening to Haldir and Orophin chat idly with men of Aragorn's court not much interested in the conversation. She let her eyes and mind wander around the gathering of people. The smile that was fixed on her face vanished as she caught sight of a little girl dancing by herself near the large hearth in the corner. Lifting the skirts of the fine elvish made gown she wore, she nearly sprinted across the crowded hall. She came to a sudden stop, expecting the girl to suddenly vanish like she had before. The girl kept dancing, her long hair glowing in fire light, her eyes closed, listening to the music. Vanwamin didn't know what to do. She didn't want to scare the child by grabbing her up and demanding to know who she was. Instead she took a step forward and cleared her throat. The little girl stopped dancing immediately and stared at her with crystal blue eyes. Before Vanwamin could ask what her name was the little girl shrieked and threw herself at Vanwamin.
"Mama!"
All at once the world shifted at the feeling of the little girl wrapped around her legs. She reached down and picked her up burying her face in the child's sweet smelling hair. Memories slammed into her like gale force winds, people, places, birthdays, and funerals. The only thing keeping her anchored was the little girl in her arms. A little girl whos name was Penelope Ann Farling the only child of Amelia and Henry Farling. A little girl she affectionately called Bluebird because she had to hear Somewhere Over The Rainbow every night before bed. Tears threatened to spill and she looked for a way out of the crowded hall. Haldir was there suddenly ushering them towards the huge oak doors the lead the way into the cool night air.
"Mama, where were you?" Cried Penelope her face red and blotchy making her eyes even brighter. "Daddy said we had to let you go, like the butterflies in summer, he said you were gone!" A sob escaped Amelia at the thought of her daughter thinking she was gone forever.
"What do you mean daddy?" She asked eventually though the tears and hiccups. "Daddy is here?"
"Yes!" Penelope gasped a smile on her face, the smile quickly faded. "But he says he loves Addy now, that she will be like a new mama for me. I don't want Addy to be my new mama!"
"Shh," Amelia shushed her daughter as she sat on a bench near a fountain. Just beyond the fountain was a white tree, new buds just starting to form on its stark branches. The little girls words rang in her ears. Henry had moved on. Some part of her felt betrayed. That she had known that somewhere someone waited for her and Henry had just moved on. Then the memory of the night she was thrown into this alternate dimension engulfed her like she was living it all over again.
They were driving down the snowy road on the way from Minneapolis where they had just been visiting her parents. Penelope was a sleep in the back seat and she and Henry were quietly arguing. They were in the process of separating and things were getting worse between them. Angrily Amelia had twisted off the small diamond ring she wore and smacked it down on the console between them. The noise had woken Penelope up and as she had reached around to assure her daughter everything was all right a truck smashed into her side of the van.
She came out of the memory gasping and clinging to Penelope for dear life. She never wanted to put the child down, never wanted anything to take her away. They sat like this for the longest time, the little girl enveloped by her mother who was shaking and sobbing.
Haldir stood in the distance looking out over Pelennor fields at the seat. While his face was ever stoic his inner turmoil was great. He did not dare seek Vanwamin out before she came to him, he was terrified of what she had remembered.
Amelia did not stop shaking until someone came out of the doors again yelling Penelope's name. It was Henry. He came around the corner to the fountain and stopped in his tracks.
"My god, Amelia? I, I thought you were dead, no one had seen you, your alive?" Henry stuttered and stumbled with his words.
"Yes I'm alive Henry, I've been alive this entire time," she said standing up. She set Penelope to the ground and faced Henry head on.
"Mia, if I had known..."
"Don't, Henry. Just don't." Amelia crossed her arms and stared at Henry. He was not much taller than she, stocky with light brow hair that had grown to his shoulders. He also sported a beard that suited him well. "I hear you've found someone else."
"Listen... I didn't."
"No, Henry, I am happy for you." Amelia smiled truly. "You moved on, I understand. Do you love her?"
"More than anything," a goofy lop sided smile graced Henry's face. "And she loves me back."
"Then I could be no happier." Amelia smiled closed the distance between them to embrace him like the brother he had always been to her. They had been high school sweet hearts who made a mistake that resulted in the most beautiful girl in the world. They had never truly loved one another and had tried to stay together for Penelope, but it had steadily gotten worse until they had to let each other go.
"Where have you been Amelia? I truly thought you had died."
"Thats what you were worried about when you and Penelope were dropped into this place? Whether or not I was alive? I'm touched." She laughed. They sat and talked for hours about where they had gone and what had happened to them. Henry and Penelope had woken up in Rohan as well, but far from her and in the path of riders that had saved Helms Deep. They had crossed paths as Amelia was take away to Lorien, though she had been unconscious for that bit. Henry had then traveled from Rohan to Gondor when the battle of Pelennor Fields had taken place. He had been drafted into ranks of the riders but promised Penelope to come back unscathed. Amelia couldn't help but laugh hysterically at the thought of Henry atop a horse with sword.
"I'm pretty handy with a sword in a crisis I tell you!" He said indignatly.
"Sure, and I'm a master seamstress!" He looked at her doubtfully and laughed.
"There you are!" A beautiful young woman with golden hair came around the corner looking at Henry with contempt. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere... oh, who is this?"
"I'm Penelope's mother," said Amelia standing up. Penelope had fallen asleep in her arms and stayed that way.
"Oh, I... Henry?" Panic flashed in the young woman's eyes as she looked between Henry and Amelia.
"No! Don't worry about me!" Amelia said repositioning the sleeping girl. "I'm not here to reclaim him, I'm just visiting, please see me as nothing more than a friend." Henry stood and crossed over to the woman and took her hand in his.
"Adelwyn, this is Amelia, Adelwyn." He said leading her closer so the two could meet.
"Its a pleasure to meet you Adelwyn. I hope Henry hasn't been too cumbersome to you." She smiled sweetly inclining her head. Adelwyn returned the gesture, her smile unsure still. "I think someone is out for the night, maybe we should put her to bed."
"I can take her," Henry moved forward to take Penelope but Amelia pulled back.
"No," she said sharply. "No, Henry, I want to hold her as long as I can."
"Okay," Henry held his hands up and began walking towards gate that would lead them to the level under them. They all walked silently though the tunnel in the rock to to the opposite side of the level that she and Haldir were staying. They had just reached Henry's quarters when a something trembled and seared in Amelia's chest. She stopped dead and closed her eyes.
"Whats wrong?" Asked Henry grabbing her shoulder.
"Nothing," She said through gritted teeth. She knew though, that the pain in her chest, this was what Haldir felt whenever she got too far away from him. Instinctively she knew that if she took one more step she would sever that bond and she would never be able to knit it back together. She had a choice to make. To let Haldir go forever or to beg him for forgiveness for being so incredibly ignorant and selfish. She didn't want to say goodbye to him, she wanted the excuse of their bond to be able to return to Lorien with him. "Take Penelope. I will find you in the morning. I have to go beg someone for forgiveness now."
"Since when do you beg?" He asked taking Penelope from her arms. She instantly felt the loss her daughter.
"Since I almost died to let them live." She said before turning and literally running back through the street and gate to the citadel once more. She found Haldir still standing at the seat staring blankly into the night.
"Haldir O' Lorien?" She asked quietly to get his attention. He turned to look at her, his face expressionless.
"You have a daughter." It was not a question, it was merely a statement of fact. She nodded.
"Yes, her name is Penelope Ann Farling, and I am Amelia Farling."
"And your husband?"
"I haven't got a husband." She said sternly looking him in the eye. He had been able to hear their conversation, see them laughing together. There was more hurt in his eyes than she could bear, now suspicious and doubt. "Where I come from we can annul our marriages, and we did. Henry is no more than my friend and Penelope's father."
"Then you have remembered your past?" His eyes were still filled with doubt but there was some hope in them.
"Yes. Somethings are still hazy, I have a sister but I cannot remember her name. I can't remember Penelope's birthday or our address." She smiled widely and took his hand. "I can remember the important things Haldir, and because I can remember I know how selfish I was being. I should have let go, maybe I would have remembered sooner, I don't know. But I remember now, and I am free. If you will forgive me, I would love to start over."
"What did you say your name was?" He asked a smile tugging at his lips.
"Amelia Farling." He raised her hand to his lips and brushed them across the back of it.
"Amelia Farling," He said stepping closer to her. "I am Haldir of Lorien, it is a pleasure meeting you."
"The pleasure is mine," she said reaching up to bury her hand in his hair. "I assure you." She pulled his head down to kiss him with everything she had.
Zebra-Scarf- Were going to say that I'm not a complete dolt and pretend like Arwen wasn't human yet! Hehe. Your completely correct, she would have already made her decision to forgo her immortality in Rivendell. Sigh, oh well, so much for running, somewhat, with the books. XD
happyazngirl- Yes, plot is always a good thing. :)
Emzy2K11- yeah, I'm really sorry. I'm not very good at the "update soon" thing. Lol
Lintered- Haha, I travel a lot and use the threat on my friends all the time. It just sort of came out on paper. :P
alien.94- Thanks so much, sorry it took so long to update!
Lady Minuialwen- Yes indeedy. Haha!
MoonDemon36- Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed it. Sorry an update took so long! Thank you for reviewing and hopefully you still stick with me till the end.