Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay. More K/Effy coming up soon. In the meantime I hope you enjoy a bit of Fitch Twinteraction.
Katie awoke with a splitting headache. She vaguely remembered talking to Effy. Something in the back of her head is trying to remind her that she must have somehow embarrassed herself and being the only non-sober party in a conversation for two, she wondered what ammunition she has just given Effy.
She picked up her mobile and rang Emily.
"Hey Katie!"
"Don't fucking talk so loud, Ems. This new fangled technology can pick up and transmit even soft sounds."
"Do I have to guess?"
"I merely knocked back a few to celebrate a career coup, bitch. You're talking to a senior account executive of one of the best advertising firms in the kick-ass city of London."
Katie heard a squeal and more high-pitched noises following her revelation.
"I could've timed this better", Katie said with a smile.
"Are they going to give you a vacation soon? We could meet up in New York."
"Not for at least six months or so. We've got plenty lined up."
Both women were silent as they were reminded of their distance.
"I really miss you, Ems", Katie said softly, "But a few months isn't that much of a wait."
"I love you, Kay."
"Which is why I fully expect to be waited on hand and foot when I return to that colony."
"Piss off, cunt. And don't try blackmailing my wife to do your laundry again."
"I cannot help it that your wife still has some unconscious belief that my continued approval of her is necessary for you to want to spend forever and six days with her, babes."
"And the fact that you exploit that every chance you get is her fault how?"
"Not her fault. Not mine either. I'm Katie Fucking Fitch. It's in my nature to win."
"Last week I caught her researching how she could send Chinese food from Boston to London, Katie."
Katie laughed loudly for a few seconds before groaning in pain. "Fuck, I have to get up to get aspirin. Why didn't I stock some on this nightstand?"
"Because the stupid are not known for their planning skills?"
"Right, go ahead and abuse me while I'm in pain. Naomi there?"
"No. She's at some group work thing."
"How's your work doing?"
"I'm currently trying to make the rounds, meeting and greeting various publishers and authors."
"I always thought you would write and illustrate your own book, Emily."
"Eventually. Perhaps."
"Am I going to be alive during that time?"
"Not at the rate your going."
"Ems, how many times do I have to tell you? I am fine."
"Don't make me make JJ spy on you."
"Ha! As if you can talk to JJ without causing a particular strange face twist tic on Naomi."
"She doesn't do that. It was a pity fuck that happened ages ago, Katie. Stop teasing Naoms about it."
"I will when it stops being funny." Katie smirked while visualizing her twin rolling her eyes.
"How's Effy doing?"
"She's Effy."
Emily sarcastically replied, "Wow, you almost convinced me that there's no back story there."
"We're… you know, like, tentative friends."
"Which means what?"
"Closer that most but not too close, I guess."
"Hmm… Is that how the advertising execs talk these days?"
"That's senior advertising executive to you, freelancer."
"So, Effy. Talk to me."
"She's still Scary Stonem."
"She seems sincere. Come to think of it, Effy was always the honest sort. Brutally, most of the time."
"Until she decides you're not worthy and drop your ass."
"I don't think she will drop your ass." Emily added, "Rather, I don't think she can since you have a big ass."
"Funny. You've been hanging out with Cuntbell too long."
"Her offer of friendship seems real."
"I don't think we have enough in common."
"How so?"
"She's a proper adult now, you know?"
"So are you."
"In age, yeah."
"You can be Gail to her Oprah."
"Jesus bloody Christ, woman. Stop talking like a fucking Yank."
"Shut up. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? Not like she'll hit you on the head with a rock and then fuck your boyfriend because it would be unoriginal and you don't have a boyfriend."
"Thank you for that kind reminder of distant past."
"Don't kill this friendship like you've done to others countless of times."
"What the fuck are you on about?"
"Remember Bridget? That woman who was about to be a BFF until she put a Celine Dion CD on in her car?"
"Celine Dion, love. You defeated your own argument right there."
"And then there's Julia and Nelson-"
"Who wanted to spend every moment showing off photos, apps and power point presentations about their baby—"
"You need friends, Kay."
"I have plenty."
"You have plenty of people you party with."
"Yeah, I'm a popular bitch."
"I'm talking about real connections, Katie."
"I'm too hung over for the rest of this conversation."
"Give Effy a chance."
"I will."
"Uh. Huh."
"Why do you keep pushing this? How much talking have you two possible done?"
"I can't be there for you, Katie, and I'm hoping given time she'll make a good enough proxy."
"I can take care of myself, Emily. And we talk all the time."
"I just don't want a repeat of last year. Do you fucking know how much it killed me to get that call here in fucking Boston and be told by some stranger—"
"I get it, alright. And it was a damn accident. How many more bloody times do I have to explain that bit to you?"
Katie could tell from the silence that Emily was trying not to cry. "Sweetie, I'm sticking around for a long, long time yet, long enough to be the crazy aunt to whatever freaks you and Campbell will produce." She continued, "I'm out of that scene, Ems."
"I love you, bitch."
"Love you too, cunt. Say hi to your sex slave for me."