PART TWELVE

Emily was nervous, sitting with her hands folded over her almost miniscule baby bump. Explaining that she and her supervisor had made a pact about a baby felt like it was going to be a Twilight Zone experience. JJ's pregnancies had shaken the team. Change did not sit well with any of them. They didn't always appreciate it when members of the team had to be taken out of the field, even if it was for something as miraculous and full of hope as pregnancy, birth and child care.

"Hotch, what's going on?" Derek asked as he followed Reid into the room.

Hotch was the last one in and his hand easily slipped under Emily's hair to brush briefly against the back of her neck. It both thrilled and comforted her. Emily allowed her gaze to travel around the table they usually only used for work. She met Hotch's encouraging eyes and took a deep breath. This was hers.

"Hotch and I have something to tell you," she said, trying to choose her words carefully.

Dave leaned back in his chair, a smug smile starting to spread over his face. Even Derek looked like he was satisfied or triumphant. Reid's eyes opened wide in trepidation and confusion. Penelope just looked straight curious and kept darting looks at JJ's neutral face. She took a deep breath as Hotch's hand found her thigh under the table, offering his support.

"I'm pregnant," Emily finally said softly, but the words reverberated around the room.

"Pregnant?" Penelope whispered in awe.

"As in you're going to have a kid?" Derek asked, anger underlying his question.

Emily tensed. Anger wasn't an emotion she had been prepared to deal with, though now that it had sprung up, she was kicking herself. Of course they weren't just going to accept her announcement at face value. They couldn't. They were all too close, too protective, for this to be understood with a few short words.

"The father?" Dave asked, alarm and concern in his voice. He and Emily were close and the last thing he wanted for her was the stress of raising a child on her own. Emily knew that. "Is he around?"

"Yes," Hotch answered swiftly and with a dead finality.

Derek and Dave relaxed.

Penelope, however, narrowed her eyes. "Who is the father?"

Emily's eyes immediately darted to Hotch and she heard Penelope gasp. Reid squeaked. Neither of them would have to say anything now, of that, they were both certain.

"How long has this been going on?" Dave asked, all traces of anger now replaced with a knowing amusement.

Emily sighed. This was the complicated part. "We're not."

Derek arched an eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"

Hotch's eyes narrowed, not appreciating the underlying disapproval in Derek's voice. Emily rested her hand on his, easily adjusting to Derek's protectiveness and shot him a quick glance. His hand flipped up and twined their fingers in reply.

"This was planned," she told him quietly. "We're both excited."

Reid looked adorably confused. "I don't understand," the genius said.

She dropped her free hand to rest with her other on top of his. "We made a deal," she tried to explain, her eyes softening as she looked over at her supervisor. "I'm not getting younger and I want a baby of my own."

"So you made a baby deal?" Penelope asked, still obviously confused.

Emily nodded. "If neither of us were in a solid relationship in three years, we'd try for a baby. You all know how close we are and how much we trust each other. There's no one I'd trust more with my child. It was a logical choice."

"Very logical," Dave agreed, laughter in his voice.

Emily knew what he was implying and rolled her eyes.

"A lot of this we're playing by ear," Hotch spoke up. "We're going to move in together so we don't have to shuttle our baby back and forth between us. We haven't talked about our jobs or the Bureau. Questions?"

None came forward and the team filed out, stopping to congratulate Emily on their way. Eventually, it was her and Hotch left in the conference room and Emily felt herself deflate. It was overwhelming to think about, even now, three months down the line. Adrenaline was still racing through her system and she felt nauseous. She looked over at Hotch as his hand snuck under her hair again. "I'm not sure that went very well."

"Why? There was no yelling, no threats, no punches thrown... I'd say it went smoothly."

Emily snorted out her amusement. "Hotch, the only reason Derek didn't deck you is because we're in the BAU. Here, you're his boss."

His fingers started combing through short sections of her hair and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from purring. "It was part of the reason I chose the conference room," he admitted.

She sighed. "I'm going to have to do damage control when I get back to my desk. Derek isn't happy."

"Sweetheart, we told them so we'd be able to avoid the damage control."

"Derek isn't satisfied, Aaron," she said, slipping in reaction to his endearment. "Pen's going to want details.... I'm going to be defending myself for months."

--

He could tell she was starting to get worked up about the whole situation. He turned her chair, wheeling it closer so his knee slipped between hers and he could press his lips on her forehead, his hand sliding from her hair to caress her back. "Honey, they love you," he told her softly, his lips moving against her skin. "Everything will be fine."

"I can't keep defending myself," she said, tears in her voice.

"You don't have to," he told her. "This wasn't a drunken one night stand, Emily. This was a logical, rational decision that we made. We've already got it planned out. There's nothing for you to be ashamed of."

At least he hoped there was nothing she was ashamed of. The way she was talking had his gut churning at the idea that she regretted this decision. There wasn't a single part of this situation that he regretted. There was nothing he wanted more than the baby growing within her. Well, except the woman herself. Hope had flared when Dave had asked how long they'd been together, then dashed when she corrected the older man.

"But if this is how our team reacts, how is the Bureau going to react?"

He wanted to pull her into his lap, reassure her that the Bureau wasn't something she needed to worry about. "Leave the Bureau up to me."

"Aaron-"

"Honey, the team is just trying to protect you. They want to protect you."

Her hand gripped his. "I don't know if I can do this."

"There is no 'I' in this, Emily. Only 'we'. Everything we do with this baby is something we're going to do together. Breathe, please."

He watched her take a deep breath, then another. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked, brushing her bangs away from her forehead.

"I don't like being irrational," she replied. "I don't know why I freaked out like that."

"I'm sure this isn't the last time," Hotch replied, smiling gently. "This is going to be a learning curve for all of us."

Emily smiled as he stood and held out his hands to help her up. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

"Stop apologizing," he chastised.

"You're too easy on me, Aaron," she said softly, ignoring the partially open blinds to press a long, slow kiss to his cheek. His eyes drifted shut of their own volition and the thought briefly drifted through his head that there was more than friendship in that contact and in her tone as she'd said his name. But he buried the thought. He watched her head back into the bullpen knowing that there was a soft smile on his face. She brought out that side of him. He watched her sit at her desk, felt his stomach clench as Derek wheeled his chair over.

"They'll be fine."

Hotch didn't jump but Dave had taken him by surprise.

"Hotch, why haven't you said anything to her?"

"Said anything? About what?"

"Stupid doesn't look good on you, Aaron," Dave scolded, coming to stand beside the man that had once been his student. "Emily and a blind man are the only people who can't see how much you adore her. And for Pete's sake, Hotch, I'm not sure she could make her love for you more obvious than agreeing to such an unorthodox deal, then going through with it."

Maybe part of it was fear, he realized. He couldn't risk leaving behind another child if a romantic relationship with Emily didn't work out. He didn't want to jeopardize anything with such a spectacular woman, first and foremost for their child, but also for her, for Jack and for himself. She was his rock. "She deserves better, Dave."

Dave shook his head as they both continued to watch Emily's conversation with Derek unfold. Reid wasn't even pretending not to listen. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe 'better' is a relative term?"

"Come on, Dave, you know what I mean." Nevertheless, Hotch found his mouth curving in affection, relief and satisfaction as Derek stood and pulled Emily into a tight hug.

"It's not your decision to make," Dave told him.

"How can you say that?"

"Hotch, you're a behaviouralist, not a psychic. You can't change how she feels, you can't begin to know what she needs and you can't change what she wants. That's up to her."

Which, unfortunately for Hotch, meant that the only thing that was left to tell Dave was the truth. "I can't fail her, Dave. I can't take that risk."

"You'll never find anyone like her," Dave replied. "The risk isn't the important thing. A smart woman once told me 'The key is finding that special someone who makes the risk look like the only option there is."

Hotch arched an eyebrow. "Emily told you that?"

"Jen, actually," Dave replied.

"JJ is a smart woman," Hotch agreed.

Dave sighed, turning to face the younger man. "Look, Hotch... Emily's everything to you. She has been for years. You've sabotaged each other's relationships without realizing or thinking twice about it. She agreed to have your child. I think it's obvious."

Hotch took a deep breath. He knew Dave was right. JJ's words rang in his head. Emily was his only option. She was the only woman he could see as being an intimate part of his life. And it had been that way for a while. But it really wasn't the question. The question was whether she saw him the same way. And he doubted it.

HAHA! It came to me, I wrote it, and it's genius! Most of it, anyway. The line about risks and options is, unfortunately for me, the genius of either Tracia or Tonnie. Unfortunately for me, I deleted the e-mail of whichever one it is who gave me permission to use it! And I feel terrible and utterly horrible, because giving credit where credit is due is so important.

However, this little scene has sparked an idea for a little bit of a JJ/Rossi spin-off...