Kicking and Screaming

Betty and Jughead go back to the trailer after his dad's arrest.

"Can we be alone for a while, Betty?" he asks, staring into my eyes with an expression I have never seen before on him.

I nod, taking his hand. Archie and Betty don't even ask any questions. They know that he doesn't want to see them right now. He is scared and sad. He was alone for too long. He needs me for right now. Just me. So I lead him out of the booth and then out of Pops. We get outside. He grabs my hand and turns to me. He is standing right in front of me looking more vulnerable than ever.

"I love you," he says.

I can feel my heart being put back together slowly and painfully. I squeeze his hand and bite my lower lip.

"I love you too," I say. "You have to know that I did not know they were searching your trailer."

He nods.

"Did you know that your mom had ulterior motives for wanting my father and I to come to dinner?" he asks with sadness. I can feel it cracking again in my chest. I clench my fist at my side, letting him hold my other hand. He doesn't see it at first. He is still looking at my face for the truth.

"Yes," I manage to say through my tears. I can see the tears forming in his eyes too. He doesn't want to let them fall in front of me. He lets go of my hand and turns his head.

"I am so sorry, Juggie," I say. "That is all that I knew but I thought that it would still be okay, that it could still mean something different to us. It didn't matter what my mom wanted. I had no idea what Archie and Veronica were doing."

He wipes his hand down his face. I see him clench his eyes and frown with his lips together in a grimace.

"Don't ever lie to me again, Betty," he says, turning back to me so that I can see his heartbroken face. There are tears on his cheeks and his lower lip is quivering. He reaches his hand out to me. His fingers are trembling. His desperation is true and clear. I put my fingers in his, keeping my other hand clenched at my side. It is starting to hurt. But I deserve it.

"I won't, Jug. I promise I will not lie to you. I was trying to protect you. I am so sorry," I say again with more tears. I don't even know what else to tell him. His hand squeezes mine and then he looks down at my other hand.

"No. Don't," he says when he opens it and sees the blood.

Panic fills his eyes. He grabs my hand and opens my palm. More tears fall. I feel shock. He's crying because I'm hurt? He shouldn't be upset about that.

"Bets," he mumbles.

I give him my hand, letting him hold it in his. My blood smears on his palm and he squeezes it to stop the bleeding. His face breaks with my heart. He looks right at me, realizing that whatever façade that he played for so long cannot hold its walls up anymore. They are like the great wall in Russia. Eventually, the truth must come out and the walls must come down. And they have.

"Betty," he says. "I am so scared."

"I know," I say, holding out my arms.

"Bets," he mumbles in a cracked voice.

Jughead makes a noise so broken and cracked that it scares me. He cries a real cry. He is sobbing. His knees don't seem to be able to hold him up any longer. His legs become weak. He falls to the ground. I put my arms underneath of him to catch his weight and carrying him carefully as his sobbing form falls to the freezing pavement of the outdoors. I hold him the best that I can, putting my arms underneath of his body.

I let him fall over completely. His head falls too so I grab him around his shoulder, letting him rest his head on the inside of my elbow. I put my other arm around his body, attempting to make him safe. But nothing seems to work. His cries are loud and broken and terrifying. He doesn't try to hide any of it. His body shakes. His eyes leak. His feet kick to stabilize himself but they fail.

"Jughead," I mumble through my own tears that practically fall onto his face as I sob with him. But his sobs are harsh and loud. They are the cries of a boy who thought he had everything and lost almost all of it in one night. Almost.

He still has me.

I lean down to his face, resting my lips close to his ear. His sobs are broken with loud gaps and scary groans. But I will bring him back.

"I love you, Juggie," I tell him.

He nods in my arms but he doesn't say anything. he can't say anything through his pain. It is so blatantly terrible. His father's sin has destroyed his very own flesh and blood. His wife and daughter were able to escape it before it reached them. But Jug was caught up in the middle of it all.

"I know you're scared," I tell him in a whisper so that my lips brush against his ear. He doesn't make any acknowledgment as if he has heard me. I can only hope that he has and that he is listening to my soothing words.

"I know you feel lonely," I say.

His sobs become quieter. I can tell that he is listening to me now. He is still crying, being held by my weak arms on this freezing cold wet ground outside of the bright lights. They are the only thing keeping the last bit of the darkness away from my Jug. His fear doesn't show it though. It is still present, terrifying.

"You are not alone," I promise him.

His breath hitches.

"You are never going to be alone again," I promise.

He sniffles but does not make another sound.

"You are not alone. I am with you, Jughead. I am not going anywhere. I am going to be here no matter what happens for as long as you keep me around," I promise.

He lifts his head, pushing himself up to stand. He looks right at me, tears all over his face. He brushes his hand over his nose but never moves his body from my arms. It is clear that he wants my embrace. I will never deny him that.

"I love you," he says.

I smile, allowing tears to fall. I didn't think that I could cry any more than I already had. But maybe Jug is the one that should be thinking that.

"I love you too," I say. "I am not going anywhere. You are not alone anymore, Juggie. You never will be."

I put my hand on the side of his face. He leans into it, keeping my other arm wrapped around his body.

"Betty," he says.

I look at him, leaning my head forward.

"No matter what happens, I need you," he says in that same frown.

"You'll have me," I promise.

Then I realize that we are still sitting out here in the freezing cold, watching our breath come out of our mouths. I grab his hand and pull him to stand. He uses part of my weight as we stand in the cold.

"We have to go to the station," I tell him.

He nods and wipes his face off. I give him a second to do so and then take his hand. He pulls me in for a hug. It lasts just a second but it is enough for me to remember how to breathe. We are going to figure this out together.

Jug looks down at our bound hands and then back into my tearful eyes.

"Don't let go."

"I won't," I promise. "Never again."