A belated gift to Sanji.

Sanji: Mellorine!

Where did you come from!?

Match Maker

I, Blackleg Sanji, have been known since grade school to match any lovely female to a deserving and well mannered gent. I even helped these poor bastards to morph to being ladies men. I have been successful in gaining a lady's affection and not breaking their hearts. I have cleaned up distasteful habits of shit heads and kicked the shit out of lowlife crap heads.

But out of all these accomplishments, there's only one I have yet to match…

My shitty friend since grade school.

"Oi! Marimo! Would it kill you to smile!?" I shouted at a young man of nineteen with light green hair, hence the nickname, a body that showed how much work he put in, and emerald with silver specked eyes.

This is Roronoa Zoro, and never dated any person I throw at him. He never cared for women so I sought out men that could be any interest to his liking, which I have yet figured out. But so far I have yet to find even one gay muscle head who may be a match to him.

"Mind your own damn business!" Zoro said as he was reading, the ever present scowl on his face would make even the strongest bully tremble in fear.

Even through high school he was always picking fights than being interested in picking up a date.

We are now in college, where my reputation was still going strong, and we were in the same English class when a transfer student came in.

"Class, we have a new student from Kyoto. He's here due to a high grade average and is taking high school credit in this class."

It was pretty damn rare to have a transfer student in our or any college class. It was both impressive and, to some, envious because this student is able to be better than some of us who struggled to even get this far.

He came in and I thought he might be fifteen by how he looked.

"Hello, I'm Monkey D. Luffy. I'm seventeen years old. It's nice to meet you!"

Seventeen? He doesn't look like it, but when I look over to Zoro, he looked like he was slapped in the face. I couldn't believe it. I've been searching any athletically built men for this idiot, only to have the complete opposite to get him to look like that?

"There's a free spot behind Roronoa-san." Sensee said.

"Hai!" Zoro announced as the kid came up and he seemed happy to be behind this idiot.

This slightly got me interested as I watched how the two acted in each others' presence.

-1+1-

After class we would usually go to the cafeteria to eat, but then the kid came up beside the Marimo and I had to wait a good fifteen minutes before both came out and he was smiling! I knew I had to figure out who this Luffy kid is and see if he really is the type for my stubborn idiot friend.

All too soon the kid was constantly hanging around more, I was even told by the idiot to go on ahead. And he was notorious for being lost easily.

It got to the point where there was no denying it, these two were attracted.

Marimo was attracted to the kid because he gave off some aura that's similar to the sun's warmth, or whatever crazy chakra shit he spews out. And Luffy was attracted first by the idiot's unusually natural green hair, which was a damn surprise, and then it was more after they talked and started hanging around.

I would've set up a date between the two, but the kid is still a minor, and I may not like the idiot but I don't want him to be viewed as a pedophile. So I waited and observed the two through their talks and bickering until the kid graduated from high school and turned eighteen. What was more convenient was that he's a college freshman at our college, which if all things still go well with the two, and then my life's reputation will be complete with finally matching my idiot friend.

-1+1-

"Oi." Zoro said one evening while I was about to start the plans of the first date between the two, which was kept private. "Whatever you're doing, stop it right now."

"Nani?" How the hell did he know I was starting to plan his date with Luffy?

"You're matching me with Luffy for months now. I admit I like him, but he's a good guy and I don't want him to be involved in your twisted matchmaking scheme."

I looked at him as if he lost it. "Oi, I was actually starting on the plans for your first date with him. I only observed the two of you since the first day."

He looked at me the same way I was looking at him. "You haven't done anything before this?"

"I was waiting until he got out of high school and reached eighteen. The last thing I want to do to either of you is make a scandal of you dating a high school kid and him dating a guy in college."

He sat down with a shocked expression.

"Oi… What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I love him…"

"Say what?"

"I'm in love with Luffy."

I kid you not, I had to make sure the world didn't come to an end when he told me this, since the words themselves, before this, didn't seem to exist in his vocabulary. After my end of the world theory was proved inconclusive… for now, I sat down in front of him and told me exactly how he came to this miraculous conclusion.

He told me he sensed a warm and welcoming aura since the first day and how unusually happy he felt after talking to him after class and whenever the kid did or said something after that. He also mentioned that he couldn't stay angry if they did get into an argument or he had a bad day, which I witness a few before. He laughs more and was doing things he normally wouldn't do because he couldn't stand to see the other so sad or fight the pouty face that, if used right, can get the kid anything out of the other, which I have also witnessed with amusement.

But one thing was certain, the kid did something that no other person or I could do: reach his heart. And of course the idiot thought it was my doing and wanted me to stop, but now that he knows I had done nothing but watch this whole entire time, the realization had made him look more of an idiot than before.

I've managed to put two people together in the past, but this is a first I heard that someone is in love with the person I set them up with, even though I never got around to that. And since this is my idiotic friend, I was at a lost at what to do.

I suggested he should ask him out on a date, but for a whole week he resembled a fish out of water than a Romeo. I thought I was going to intervene when it was the kid who asked the idiot out, a movie of all things.

-1+1-

In my opinion, a first date would have to be in much lighter places before going to dark places where a couple can kiss like crazy as much as they like. But I wasn't going to step in.

The idiot was on his own.

The movie was supposed to be about two hours, and maybe a bite to eat that would take one to two hours. If they want to go out for a walk, that will take a half an hour to an hour. In total, a date should at least last four to five hours, but they were gone longer than that… much too long for a first date.

They left for the movie about three in the afternoon. I expected to hear or see the idiot by eight, but he finally came in at nine in the morning, with the stupid happy tired look on his face.

"What the hell did you two do?" I asked as I saw that he was a mess.

"We went to see the movie we were going to see, then he suggested we sneak into another one and we did."

Okay… that's about three to five hours.

"Then we got pizza and played some arcade games."

So half an hour plus an hour or two including the three to five, is now four and a half to seven and a half hours.

"Then we walked around downtown and got into a club."

"Wait! What?"

"He knows a chick who works there and we had a great time."

Okay, a club isn't exactly a great first date choice unless the date is into dancing. But with the four and a half to seven and a half, plus two to four hours in a club makes it to six and a half to eleven and a half hours.

"Then I stayed over at his place and fell asleep."

"Nothing else?"

"We necked a bit, but we were tired after the club."

That would explain the look of his clothes. Well, at least those two did something right, they didn't go to third base on their first date, that's a huge no on any first date. "Any other plans?"

"I'm going to be visiting his family next week."

"NANI!? You just had your first date!"

"We were kinda dating before this." He said with that stupid smile, no doubt he picked up from the kid.

-1+1-

As it turns out, Luffy's family are well known in the corporate world, but his name didn't give it away of course. But even after this new information, Zoro didn't give a crap about fortune and they continued on their 'adventures' they call it, and soon they reached third base. I know because I was locked out of the dorm that night when I heard them after working late.

Needless to say I never slept easy since then, knowing that the bastard decided to use our shared room to do something like that. Even after cleaning the room three times that week to clean the evidence of the activity.

And the bastard thought I was damn crazy for being bothered by it.

"Not my fault that you're still a virgin." He said.

That's when it hit me… I don't have anyone.

"A matchmaker who can't match himself…" He said dully one day when I came to this realization. "Well, lucky for you, Luffy has a lot of friends over to a party this week, you may be lucky."

"You're the last person I want to hear this from!"

He grinned. "So you wanna go?"

I hate that bastard with a passion.