Disclaimer: Naruto and characters associated to this manga are creations of Masashi Kishimoto. This story and other ideas not associated with Naruto are mine, unless otherwise disclaimed. This fanfiction is written for entertainment purposes only.

AN: So… I decided to post this chapter first because I found it so appropriate for today. I'm waited out a Tropical Storm that is about 5 hours south from where I live, and we're got crazy winds and rain. It's not a thunderstorm… per say, but with all the rain it's close enough.

Thank you Amaya Sakaruta for giving me the review back at Challenge 24, "Icha Icha Paradise". Your comment/suggestion just screamed to be written. Yes, I do read ALL the reviews—no matter how lengthy they may be.

I hope you enjoy. :)

Challenge 10: Thunderstorm (day 11)

Lightning flashed.

Naruto's eyes snapped open.

Thunder crashed.

He looked around his bedroom cautiously sensing a presence.

Sitting up in his large bed, the son of the Hokage used each of his finite senses to find the invaders—

"OOPH!"

Falling back on the bed, he heard the groaning of his bed springs as a new weight added onto the large mattress. Naruto's blue eyes snapped open, his lungs struggling to breathe in oxygen. Did he feel a few ribs crack?

He saw the same big, red butt from some days back.

'Not again,' his mind whined as he desperately tried pushing off Jiraiya's rear from his chest.

The old man farted.

Naruto hissed, his left eye and body beginning to twitch—his nose threatening to fall off from the strong stench.

The Sannin glanced down at his godson and grinned deeply. "Hey Naruto!" greeted Jiraiya as his shifted his body around to the left; he soon faced the blond nin, legs straddling the young man, making the situation a little more awkward. Naruto desperately tried moving his head away from the old man's nasty crotch.

"G-get… o-ooff…"

"Why would I want to do that?" the godfather asked as he smirked, "Wouldn't want you running away like last time, now would I?"

"C-can-n-not b-bre-eathe."

"Aw, who says you need to breathe?" countered the Sannin turning to look out of the open window.

The rain was pouring down heavily. Thunder rumbled a few more times. A dark shadow appeared at the windowsill— it was an ANBU operative.

'I'm saved!'

"C-can't breathe! G-ge-et off!" pleaded Naruto desperately hoping the ANBU would see the Hokage's son in distress. Then he could properly seal the house SHUT and keep Ero-sennin out!

As the guard leaped into the room, he dramatically took off his pale, ceramic mask.

"I see you're awake Naruto."

Kakashi.

"You're late," uttered the man with a long white mane.

The ANBU and teacher of Naruto sheepishly smiled, his eyes making the upside down U's. "Well, there was this drunk old lady who insisted I help her cross the street—"

Naruto dumbly stared back up to Jiraiya then to the right towards Kakashi. One and one slowly started to make sense…

NO!

Naruto began to wildly struggle. And if Jiraiya had another bad case of gas, he was just going to have to deal with it!

He felt his arms restrained; his head snapped to the side. Kakashi's cunning eyes told of all the tortures he would soon face. Lightning flashed again followed by a deep crash of thunder. "Why do you struggle so much?" taunted the student of the Yondaime.

Naruto glared at Kakashi.

"I don't trust you!"

"Oh?" questioned the lazy ANBU raising an eyebrow, "Well, I guess we need to fix that, don't we?"

Jiraiya looked down at his godson once more, a gleam in his eye. "So, which one should we choose for Naruto to listen too? We don't want him to be inexperienced when the wedding night comes."

"How about your newest one?" questioned Kakashi, a gleam in his eye.

"I think you're onto something."

He pulled out a yellow covered volume with a man and a woman making out.

Oh no~o…

"Icha Icha Solutions!"

Naruto's blue face became white as a sheet. If he knew better… this was Jiraiya's most 'risqué' of the series!

The blond desperately struggled, tears starting to fall down his eyes. "GET OFF! DAD! MOM! SOMEONE HELP M-u-mmm-em-emmmmm!"

"There. I think that gag should work for a while," affirmed Kakashi as he turned back up to the elder, "Please continue. I can't wait to hear the book read!"

"Muuuuuuummmm! EMMMM!"

Jiraiya cleared his throat.

"Chapter one: A thunderstorm. It was the perfect time to show her everything he had in him. He would prove his skill, his charm, and the sacred dance of the old.

"She gasped as his lips gently—"

Naruto began to cry silent tears of revulsion as he tried tuning out the book. His eyes tightly closed as he tried willing himself to a quiet, 'happy' place.

A.k.a. the Kyuubi's cell.

He felt hot air blown on his ear.

He involuntarily shivered, his eyes snapping open and his stare of horror grander than ever. He saw Kakashi's gray eyes staring down at him, only inches away. "You don't want to miss the best part now, do you?"

As Jiraiya continued to read, Naruto continued his silent tears as he struggled to breathe under Jiraiya's weight.

Lightning flashed.

Naruto was ready to die.

Thunder crashed.

"Not there!" said Jiraiya's voice in a higher imitation of the female character. It soon deepened into the male voice, "But it'll feel so good…"

The thunderstorm continued on.