Thanks to:

Autumn Gray

TimeWitch6

Maybe-I-Should-Write-Something

The Marines, brutal.

That's pretty much all I got to say to you about the Marines. Waking up early and doing some tough stuff, but I love it. Especially when it rains, it is so relaxing. Plus it keeps my mind off of what I lost. May I add that I'm pretty ripped now. Now as I looked down at the letter that changes my life I can't help but regret my decision.

'Major David-

You have been called to duty in Iraq.'

That pretty much sums it up. With a big fake smile I accepted the letter and shook my Captains hand. Now as I sat in my apartment some part of me wishes I had been a man. I had stayed and fought to get Ziva back. Choices are made that can not be taken back. He had to learn that lesson no matter how tough it was. He had to completely cut himself off from emotions, that isn't what mattered anymore. To bad he couldn't change his name from Tommy David. He had choose that name in a refusal to cut off all ties to his old life. David wasn't like Ziva's it was different if only a small way.

"God help me." he murmured to himself heading into his bedroom. He reached under the bed pulling out an old shoe. He looked at the worn down leather, the way some of the black had faded to gray and smiled. It was one of his old work shoes. He slowly reached into the worn down shoe and pulled out his one picture of Ziva.

He had to do it, for her. The same thing he told himself everyday.

"He's dead." Gibbs said to Ziva. Her eyes filled with shock, and fear. No could he really be dead? Gibbs looked at her face, so much pain from two words.

"How?" she asked in a slight whisper. Her eyes now lay at her feet.

"I don't think you want to know..."

"I do." she said looking straight into his eyes. He slowly nodded his head, but did not say anything.

"Come on I have somewhere you need to see, I will explain when we get there." he said taking her hand.

They both got into his car and drove off. Her face didn't show anything, but neither did his. They were okay just sitting in silence. Something told her not to ask, not even speak a word. Somehow she didn't want to know everything. Another part of her knew that she wasn't going to like what happened to Tony.

Slowly he parked in front of the cemetery.

He really was dead.

Dead.

"Come on." Gibbs said opening her door. He took her hand and they traveled slowly through the cemetery. Her hand tightened as they reached there destination. Tony's grave. "Read it." Gibbs murmured looking at her.

Gave his life for the one her loves.

What is that supposed to mean.

Ziva looked at Gibbs for an explanation.

"He commited suicide."

"No..." she murmured more pain flashing across her face. "Why?" she asked her eyes tearing up.

"He thought it would help you come back."

Ziva fell to her knees and let the tears fall down her face. No, he didn't have to do that.

"You came and saved me...and I needed him." she said looking up at Gibbs. "I needed him...I hoped he come and save me." she said looking down at the grass once more.

"I know...but you can't disrespect him by not living his wishes..." Gibbs said helping her stand. He reached into his pocket and handed her a crumpled piece of paper.

Zi-

Live your life for me. I don't know if you'll ever come back to the team but please do. I know your probably still hate me, but the team needs you more then me. You were always smarter, and more of a use to the team then me. I love you, keep that in mind. I did this for you. In my will it says that all my stuff, everything I owned is now yours. I hope you find it of some use.

All my love,

Tony

He really was gone.

I know this out of charachter for Ziva but she is changed person hahaha

REVIEW FOR SKITTLES!

Sorry I love Halloween and now its over....hahaha :D!