Chapter 12: Trolls for Dinner
A/N: Hello my lovely readers! I'm really happy so many of you reviewed the last chapter! And I also had a few questions as well regarding the story as well as certain characters. One reader asked about Kairi's whereabouts and if she's going to appear in the story. The answer I'm afraid is no. While she's shown that's she capable of fighting and defending herself, Square Enix hasn't really shown a whole lot about what her role is going to be like in the next Kingdom Hearts installment so because I don't want to ruin her character and because I don't know what they plan to do with her, I'm just going to have her stay on the Islands. Hey, someone needs to protect the Islands from the heartless after all.
Some of you also worried about me making Hikari super strong and being capable of defeating everyone that crosses her path. Don't worry, I won't let that happen. I refuse to turn her into a Mary-Sue character! You'll see as the story progresses that she'll have moments where she, shall I say...goes over her limits?
Now onward with the story! Looks like Gandalf has a lot of explaining to do and it would seem things go from bad to worse as the group meets some unpleasant dinner guests.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Hobbit, I just own my oc's.
Enjoy!
Thinking
Talking
Bilbo's journal
/
Hikari was livid as she strode across the campfire. How could Gandalf keep something like the Heartless appearing in Middle-Earth from them? Didn't he realize that he nearly put all of their lives in jeopardy? He must have known that they were here when he spoke to them on the Islands. He may have been old but not that old enough to become senile like Ankoku tended to tease about.
"Getting rid of the dragon wasn't the real reason you wanted us to come to Middle-Earth, was it?" she hissed.
Gandalf had a good poker face and hid his emotions well as he faced the fuming keyblade wielder. It amused him a little that someone as kind as Hikari could harbor such anger within her at times. But this was no time to be amused and be merry. His real purpose for the keyblade wielders coming to Middle-Earth was revealed and it was time to tell them the truth.
"No, it wasn't" he admitted. "While the dragon was one of the reasons I requested your help, it wasn't the main one. It was something entirely different"
"And you didn't think that when you spoke to us on the island that maybe we should know about that little tidbit of information?" Riku said.
"Yeah, did you think we wouldn't help because there weren't any heartless to destroy?" Sora asked. "That's pretty rude of you to think that"
"That was never my intention, Master Sora" Gandalf said. "I knew you would all come to Thorin's aid in reclaiming Erebor"
"Then why did you nearly let those creatures attack us?" Thorin demanded. He was starting to regret following Gandalf's advice in allowing Hikari and the others join him and his company.
"I've never seen those creatures before in my life. These children are probably luring them in with those enchanted weapons they possess"
"Oh, don't even put the blame on us, Grumpy" Ankoku said.
"The heartless hate the keyblade. They know its intent is to destroy them so they try to stay as far away from it as possible. The heartless are after something else and they don't want us to go after it"
"And what exactly is that?" Dwalin asked.
It didn't take the keyblade wielders long to realize what the heartless were after. They heartless only had one goal when it came to the worlds and it was the reason why the keyblades existed.
"The keyhole to this world is open, isn't it?" Hikari asked.
Gandalf nodded gravely.
"Yes it is, and it has been for a while, I'm afraid" he said.
Sora groaned while Hikari held the bridge of her nose. If the keyhole for this world was opened then that changed everything about this whole quest.
"Um, excuse me" Bilbo said. "Could someone please explain to me just what exactly is going on? I don't quite follow what you all are saying"
"Yes, do explain" Throin said darkly.
"I would like to know why a wizard thought it was a good idea to let my men become food for some mysterious creatures"
Gandalf sighed and gripped his staff. He knew he would have to explain his actions, he just wished he had prepared his story a bit better.
"It is a long story, one I'm sure our foreign friends know all to well" he said.
"Long, long ago when time was new the worlds used to be one. The world was basked with light and filling the hearts of people with it. People loved the light and worshiped it and it's power,but over time people started grow possessive of it and wanted the light for themselves. They fought over the light and let darkness corrupt their hearts. As the darkness spread the world shattered and became much smaller ones destroying the light that was cherished by so many. Yet despite such destruction the light managed to survive in the purest hearts of children, who's hearts were not corrupted by darkness. They became the hearts of the worlds, giving life to them and ensuring that darkness would never touch them again"
"What does that have to do with those creatures we just saw?" Dwalin asked.
"The heartless are creatures that were created from the darkness of people's hearts" Riku said.
"Sometimes a persons heart is filled with darkness and over time it grows. It festers and spreads through a persons heart to the point where the heart can't take it anymore and it succumbs to the darkness. When that happens the darkness takes over the body and turns it into a creature that is deprived of a heart"
"Hence why they're called heartless" Sora explained.
"Heartless are mindless creatures with only one thing on their mind: food. And that was probably why they attacked us"
"But we didn't do anything to provoke them" Ori said innocently.
"Don't take it personal, tiny. The heartless have only one type of meal on their mind: hearts." Ankoku said as she took out an apple.
"Since they are deprived of their own hearts, they attack others and devour theirs in the hopes of getting their old bodies back or to at least fill the void where their hearts once stood. The fact that a huge group like us is traveling together like this, they probably sensed us and thought we were an all you can eat buffet"
"So that's all they do? They just attack people and eat their hearts?" Bilbo asked fearfully.
"They do but there's one heart they're really after and it's what Gandalf has been keeping from us" Riku said.
"Each world has a heart. It was keeps the worlds alive as well as the people who reside on them. Without it the worlds wouldn't function on their own" Sora said.
"Why would they want to attack something like that? It's as if they want to cause harm" Dori said.
"That's the point" Hikari said. "The heartless don't care that people will get hurt and fade into the darkness if their hearts are taken. All they care about is themselves and the power hearts carry. Human hearts will sustain them for only so long but it's the hearts of the worlds that they're really after. They harbor so much power and energy that it's like a gold mine for them. They will stop at nothing to get their hands on it"
"So, what would happen if these heartless got a hold of something like that?" Bilbo asked fearfully.
Ankoku held up the apple she picked up before and showed it to Bilbo.
"Pretend this is your world; simple,peaceful and not effected by the darkness. And this is what happens when the heartless devour the heart of your world"
She crushed the apple in her hand letting the pieces fall to the ground in small pieces.
"It crumbles away into the realm of darkness never to be seen or heard from again"
The company paled at the thought that their world would be extinguished in such a way in a matter of minutes. Bilbo looked like he was about to faint and really wished he had stayed home.
Throin looked at Riku gravely. Despite him just being a child he knew more about the fate of his world than he did himself.
"What are you lot trying to say exactly?" He said.
Riku looked at the king seriously.
"What we're saying is that with the heartless here, that dragon is going to be the least of your worries"
/
Needless to say the company was not in the best of moods when they moved out the next day. After learning that not only did they have to face a dragon with the high chance of being burnt to death they now had to worry about heartless attacking their world and turning it into an empty husk of a shell that would be spit into the realm of darkness.
Throin was tempted to send Hikari and her friends back to their world, fearing that they would lure the heartless to his group. But they as well as Gandalf pointed out last night their weapons were the only thing standing between them getting to Erebor or being devoured by the heartless. And since none of his company knew how to defeat these creatures he had no other choice but to let them stay. He would not let anyone or anything harm his group, even if it meant he had to put his faith in these children.
Hikari and the others had a similar problem. Now that they knew the heartless were here they needed to find the keyhole to Middle-Earth before the heartless did. But to do that, they would have to leave the company which meant they were breaking their contract and leaving poor Bilbo by himself. And let's not forget they had no idea where they were on this world and would most likely get killed by a Orc or a warg. So they too had no choice but to stick with the company since they knew this world better and what dangers awaited them.
The two groups realized that if they were going to survive this trip they were going to need each other's help.
When it came to noon time Throin decided to set up camp. He wasn't going to risk his men traveling through the dark now that he knew heartless lurked within the shadows. If he was going to fight these creatures he would fight them with full strength.
Gandalf looked at the area Thorin picked and frowned. They were camping near an old abandoned house that was destroyed and by the looks of it, it was rather recent. The wizard touched the frame of the structure, sensing the family that used to reside here...as well as the foul creatures who destroyed it.
"A farmer and his family used to live here" he murmured.
He turned to Thorin as he walked through the debris of the house. Clearly he didn't sense the dark presence that surrounded this place.
"I think it would be wiser to move on"
Throin just grumbled and walked past the wizard. He wasn't in the mood to hear the wizards ideas when he failed to mention that there were heartless on their world and that his company was at the risk of being food for them.
"We could make it to the hidden valley" Gandalf insisted.
Throin growled and curled his hand into a fist. Now he really didn't want to hear his ideas. First he insists that Bilbo and the keyblade wielders tag along and now he wanted to go to the elves?!
"I told you already, I will not go near that place" he growled.
"Why not? The elves would help us. We could get food, rest, advice" Gandalf insisted.
"I do no need their advice" Thorin snapped.
Gandalf tried to reason with the dwarf. He was getting tired of his pride clouding his better judgement.
"We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond will help us" he reasoned.
"Help?" Thorin taunted "a dragon attacks Erebor, what help came from the elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our halls, the elves looked on and did nothing. You ask me to seek the help of the very people who betrayed my grandfather and father?"
"You are neither of them" Gandalf reminded him.
"I did not give you that key and map so you could hold on to the past"
"I did not know they were yours to keep" Throin fired back.
Feed up with Thorin's stubbornness, Gandlaf spun on his heel and stormed off. Bilbo watched in horror as he walked away from the company and towards the direction they just came from.
"Gandalf, where are you going?"
"To seek the company of the only one around here who has enough sense" Gandalf grumbled.
"And who's that?" Sora had to ask.
"Myself!" Gandalf snapped.
"I've had about enough of dwarves for one day"
With that he was gone, leaving the company bewildered and confused.
"H-he's coming back isn't he?" Bilbo shrugged.
"If he was smart he wouldn't" Ankoku muttered.
Riku looked at Thorin knowing he was the one who caused Gandalf to leave.
"Was that really necessary?" He asked. "He was trying to help us and you thought it would be a brilliant idea to get him mad and leave?"
"What help has he given us since we've left?" Thorin asked.
"He makes me agree to take a hobbit as well as your lot with us then he almost gets us killed by not telling us about those creatures you've lured to our world. He's 'helped' us enough on this quest"
Riku growled and stormed over to where Throin was. Arguing with a king was not a smart move but he was not going to put the blame on his friends and himself that there were heartless here.
"First of all, we did not lure the heartless to you. They have been here longer than you've notice and they've only started to appear because they sense that this world is vulnerable. Second of all, we were kept in the dark about this also. Gandalf never mentioned about the heartless when he asked for our help. And lastly,just because you're mad that things aren't going according to plan with this quest because of a few technicalities doesn't mean you take it out on the person taking you to Erebor in the first place. He knows that map better than you do, how are you going to find a way in with a map you can't read?"
"Do not doubt me, Master Riku. I've lived in Erebor all my life, I'm sure I can find way in even if it meant breaking a hole into the mountain" Throin said.
"If you're so sure about it then why haven't you tried entering the mountain before?" Riku taunted. "Didn't have the right picket axe?"
Thorin glared at Riku, his hatred for the boy growing steadier.
"Do not mock a King, it will cost you you're head" he growled.
Riku just scoffed and shook his head.
"The only type of royalty you've been to me since we've left is being a royal pain in my ass"
That made Throin snap and caused him to reach for his sword. Everyone saw this and panicked thinking he was really going to kill Riku.
Hikari rushed over and got in between the two before the king could kill her boyfriend.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why don't we just back it up a bit" she said as she pushed them apart.
She loomed at them nervously clearly seeing the hatred for each other in their eyes. This was not what the company needed and she had to put a stop to it.
"We're all just tired and stressed out about these sudden changes that we learned last night and it's getting to everyone's heads" she said.
"I'm sure Gandalf left to calm down and let off some steam, which is probably what we should do. Why don't we just call it a day and rest up? We still have a long ways to go before we reach Erebor and fighting right now isn't going to get us there quicker"
She turned to Thoirn and pointed her finger at him.
"I understand that you're furious with Gandalf, I'm annoyed by this as well. But since he's the one helping us and leading us to your home, I think it would be best if you don't anger him until we get to Erebor. And don't be mad at us either. We had no idea the heartless would be here and it was never our intention to bring them. We won't let them get to you or your company so you shouldn't worry about them"
She the turned to Riku.
"As for you, don't butt heads with a king. You're more mature then that so don't start picking fights because someone doesn't think the same way as you do. You and Sora used to do that all the time and it got you both into a lot of trouble. And as for the rest of you!"
She turned to the group and placed her hands on her hips.
"I don't want to hear any arguing out of any of you during this trip. It's going to be long and rough and it'll get to our heads sometimes but we can't take it out on each other. I'm not going to play mother the whole time so you better be on your best behavior or there will be consequences, understood?"
A couple of the dwarves muttered 'yes ma'am' while some just nodded.
"Good, now let's get something to eat. All that traveling has made me hungry"
The group started setting up camp and got a fire going for supper.
Bilbo smiled with relief knowing that Hikari was taking care of things while Gandalf was gone.
To this day I still thank my lucky stars that Hikari was there to clam things down. She always had this air about her that made everyone calm down. It was greatly needed because there were times that I thought we would all kill each other. She was like a mother hen to all of us, even though she wouldn't admit it.
/
When evening came around everyone seemed to be in a better mood. It could be because they had food in their bellies and they could relax after a long days journey...well almost everyone.
Bilbo would continue to look towards where Gandalf had left earlier, thinking he would be coming back. But when the sun died down he grew even more worried. He was afraid he got lost or that a heartless got to him.
"Gandalf has been gone for an awfully long while" he said.
Ankoku shrugged as she ate her soup.
"He's probably doing old wizard stuff or something" she said.
"He can come and go as he chooses" Bofur agreed.
"Well I don't like it" Bilbo said.
Bofur just handed him three bowls to give to Fili, Kili and Sora since they were keeping an eye on the horses.
"Here, give these to the lads. Im sure Gandalf will be here by the time you come back"
Bilbo sighed and took the bowls before heading to where the horses were tied up. He found the three of them just staring at the horses with worry as if they had done something wrong.
"What's the matter?" He asked.
Kili but his lip nervously.
"We were supposed to be looking after the ponies" he explained.
"Only we've encountered a slight problem" Fili finished.
"We had 20...now there's 18"
Sora came back from counting the horses and ran a hand through his spiked hair.
"Daisy and Bungo are missing" he reported.
Bilbo gulped a little as they walked around the area where the ponies were tied up.
"Well that's not good" he said.
He suddenly noticed a large tree was knocked over, likely where Daisy and Bungo were before.
"And that's not good at all. Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"
Fili and Kili quickly shook their heads, not wanting to anger their uncle even more.
"Eh no, let's not worry him" Fili said.
"As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it"
Bilbo didn't like being put on the spot so suddenly. He had no idea what could have taken the ponies, nor did he feel like he wanted to. But at least they were including him in something. If he was going to travel with them, he needed to make himself useful.
"Well, uh, looks like something big uprooted these trees" he said.
"That's what I was thinking" Sora said.
Bilbo looked at more trees that were knocked over
"Something very big and quite dangerous" he shuttered.
Fili noticed a light coming from deep within the forest. Someone else was here.
"Hey, there's a light" he said.
They all crept closer and heard nasty grumbling sounds. Whatever it was it wasn't friendly.
"What is it?" Sora asked.
"Trolls" Kili spat.
Just then a troll stomped past them carrying two more ponies. They quickly hid as the troll got close to them and watched helplessly as the ponies were carried away.
"He's got Myrtle and Mindy!" Bilbo exclaimed.
"We have to do something"
Fili and Kili quickly looked at him, coming up with a plan.
"Yes,you should" Kili said.
"Mountain trolls are slow and stupid and you're so small they'll never see you. It's perfectly safe, we'll be right behind you"
"If you run into trouble hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl" Fili said.
They pushed the Hobbit forward towards the trolls den. Poor Bilbo was flabbergasted that he was suddenly thrown into such a predicament he didn't know if he should be scared or angry.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" He asked.
He turned around to see that Fili and Kili had left.
"Where did they go?" He asked.
Sora simply shrugged. He had no idea what the brothers planned to do to save the ponies.
"They probably went to go get Thorin so he could help" he said.
Bilbo looked at Sora worriedly. He was flattered that he didn't run off like Fili and Kili did, but he didn't want Sora to be dragged in this as well.
"You go after them, you shouldn't get caught up in this" he said.
"What about you? You plan to face the trolls all on your own?" Sora asked.
Bilbo shook his head. He didn't want to face the trolls on his own but his adult instincts were kicking in, telling him that he didn't want to see Sora get hurt.
"You're just a boy, you shouldn't be going off fighting nasty creatures" he reasoned.
"Neither should you" Sora pointed out. He summoned his keyblade and showed it to the Hobbit.
"And not to sound mean but you don't have a weapon on you. How do you plan to face the trolls without some form of protection?"
Bilbo went to open his mouth to say something but closed it again. Sora did have a point. Hobbits were peaceful creatures and had no need for weapons, the only sharp item he ever held in his life was his little shovel to tend to his gardens. This just added the pile of reasons why he shouldn't have come on this quest.
Sora just smiled and patted Bilbo on the shoulder.
"Don't feel bad. We'll just have to find you a sword in the next town we pass. In the meantime just leave the fighting to me. Hikari promised that you would be safe and I intend to help her keep that promise"
Bilbo got a little flustered. He didn't like the fact that he had to be protected by children but he was touched that they cared about his well being.
"You don't say a word about this to anyone" he said.
Sora dragged his fingers across his lips, acting like he was zipping them up.
"You have my word, now let's go save the ponies!"
Bilbo shuttered as he looked towards the trolls den.
"I have a very bad feeling about this"
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Nasty was the best word to describe the trolls little campsite. Well there were a few other words that crossed Sora and Bilbo's minds.
Gross, disgusting, vile, nauseating, wretched, smelly, revolting. The list just went on and on as they snuck closer towards the trolls. There were three of them in total and none of them looked friendly. It appeared they were in the process of making dinner since they had a giant pot to cook their food.
"Now we know why they were after the ponies" Sora whispered.
Bilbo shuddered at the thought of the trolls eating his pony. Myrtle seemed to be the only creature that liked him from Thorin's company.
"So how do we get to the ponies without being noticed?" Bilbo asked.
Sora studied the layout of the trolls little makeshift camp. There was clutter everywhere from homes they had looted during the night as well as various junk. It seemed to be scattered around them like a little nest almost.
"We'll sneak behind some of the stuff they have around here" Sora said.
"I'm sure they won't notice us sneaking around with all this junk surrounding them"
Bilbo nodded and slowly followed him through the clutter. They held their breath every step they took fearing they would step on a branch or anything that would give away their presence.
They could hear the trolls arguing about dinner and other petty things such as there wasn't enough ponies for them to eat or that someone stole someone else's drink. When they reached the ponies, they had to duck down because they were just behind the trolls. If they turned around to check on the ponies, they would notice them right away. They had to act fast and quite if they wanted to set the ponies free and get away safely.
Sora held up his keyblade and faced Bilbo.
"I'll cut the rope that's closing the gate while you keep an eye out" he mouthed.
Bilbo looked at the trolls to see one pick at a wedgie and made a face. He didn't want to get stuck with watchdog duty but since Sora had a weapon, he was left with no choice.
Sora turned towards the gate caging the ponies in and started cutting at the ropes. The ponies recognized Bilbo and Sora right away and made noises, showing how happy they were that they were being rescued. Sora put a finger to his lips, trying to quite the ponies so the trolls wouldn't turn to see what all the commotion was about.
Bilbo grew fidgety when Sora was taking a while and looked at what he was doing. And of course the moment he looked away would be the exact time one of the trolls started to sneeze and went to reach for his handkerchief, only to grab Bilbo instead. The poor Hobbit was covered with snot within seconds.
"Oi! Look what came out of me hooter!" The troll cried.
"It's got arms and legs and everything!"
Sora panicked and snuck up behind the troll that was holding Bilbo. Gripping his keyblade,he swung at the trolls foot and smacked it against its toes. The troll wailed in pain and dropped Bilbo to the ground. The hobbit and keyblade wielder were now surrounded by three mountain trolls who looked to be anything but happy.
"What are they?" One asked.
"Over sized squirrels?"
"Think we can cook them?" The other asked.
"We can try" the third said.
"Might be enough to make a pie out of them"
One pulled out a knife with a hungry look in his eyes.
"Run!" Sora cried.
They tried to run back into the forest but they were blocked by the trolls. Even though they weren't really fast they made up for it with their massive size. Every time Sora and Bilbo tired to get away one of them would be blocking their path. They finally managed to grab a hold of them and held them over the fire.
"Are there any more of you little fellows hiding where you shouldn't be?" The trolls asked.
Bilbo and Sora quickly looked at each other. They couldn't let them know where the rest of the company were otherwise they would get eaten as well. They shook their heads, acting like they didn't know.
"N-nope,it's just us" Sora said.
"He's lying" one of the trolls spat.
"No we're not!" Bilbo's insisted.
"Hold their toes over the fire" the troll said.
"Make them squeal"
Just then Kili ran out from the forest and attacked one of the trolls.
"Drop them!" He ordered.
The trolls looked at the dwarf in shock wondering where he suddenly came from.
"You what?"
Kili gripped his sword tightly and glared at the trolls.
"I said drop them" he repeated.
The trolls scoffed and tossed Bilbo and Sora at Kili, laughing when they landed on the dwarf and fell to the ground in a pile. Just as they hit the ground the rest of the company burst from the forest and charged at the Trolls. Despite the obvious height difference between the two groups, Thorin's company managed to hold off on their own. With the trolls being so big they went for the feet and legs, hoping to trip them and make them fall so they could attack them better.
Ankoku got a little carried away and thought it would be a good idea to hit one of the trolls in the family jewels. The troll fell to his knees in pain, only to have Dwalin swing his hammer at his face and knock some teeth out.
Ori shot a pebble for his slingshot and hit one troll in the face but it didn't do any damage. The troll just got annoyed and went after Ori. The poor dwarf yelped in fear and went to run away. HIkari got in between the troll and Ori, aiming her Keyblade at the troll.
"Blizzard!"
Ice coated the ground that the troll was standing on, making him slip as he went to attack Hikari.
During the commotion, Bilbo noticed one of the trolls dropped their knife. Grabbing the large utensil, he dragged it over to where the ponies were tied up and cut at the rope Sora was working on. In a matter of minutes the ponies were free and galloped away to safety.
The trolls heard the horses leaving and growled at the sight of their dinner leaving. Looking at the suspect, they grabbed Bilbo and held him by his arms and legs over the open fire.
Everyone quickly stopped fighting when they saw their hobbit companion was in danger.
"Bilbo!" Kili cried.
He went to go rescue him but Throin held him back. The trolls and the dwarves were in a standstill and Bilbo was the target.
"Lay down yours arms" the troll warned.
"Or we'll rip his off!"
Everyone looked between Bilbo and Thorin. No one knew what the dwarven King was thinking. It was obvious that he didn't want Bilbo to join his quest but surely he wouldn't resort to having the trolls kill him so he wouldn't have to deal with him anymore would he?
Bilbo seemed to be thinking the same thing since he fearfully looked at Thorin. He knew his fate rested in his hands.
After a long minute of silence, Thorin finally made his decision and slammed his sword into the ground. Feeling relieved the rest followed his example and chucked their weapons to the ground. Ori threw his sling shot dramatically to the ground to make himself look more serious but it just made him more adorable.
Sora laughed nervously as he looked around.
"Well, at least things didn't go as bad as I thought it would be"
/
Of course things had to go for bad to worse after Sora said that. Since Bilbo had set the ponies free and ruined the trolls dinner, the trolls decided they would improvise and eat Bilbo and the company instead. They tied half of them up in sacks while the others were being cooked on a spit.
Sora, Ankoku, Dwalin, Bifur, Bofor and the Ri brothers got the short end of the straw and were currently being slowly cooked over the fire.
Hikari struggled with the sack she was tied into without trying to gag. It smelled so bad and she didn't even want to view the memories of the last poor soul that was tied within in.
"Please tell me you can summon your keyblade, Riku" she said desperately.
Riku struggled and tried to get his hand out of the sack but was having no luck.
"I would if those trolls hadn't tied the bags so tight. I can barely move my arms in this thing" he said.
Hikari groaned and tried to wiggle her body free like Bilbo and the others were doing.
"One of us needs to get out of these things soon" she said.
"I don't know how long Sora and the others will last"
The dwarves were yelling and struggling to get free from the spit. The heat of the fire was getting to be too much for them and were making them uncomfortable.
"Hot, hot!" Bifur cried.
Sora struggled even though he knew it was useless. He couldn't summon his keyblade since his hands were tied so he had to resort to a desperate idea.
"Quick! Blow at the fire, maybe we can put it out"
They all started blowing at the flames, desperately hoping they would put it out some how but it made it worse.
"You idiots! You're making it worse! Spit at it, that should put it out" Ankoku said.
Sure enough the dwarves started spitting at the flames every time they faced them"
Bert the troll got fed up with them and shook the spit a little.
"Oi! Quit it you lot before I eat you raw"
Ankoku just scoffed as she glared at the troll, not really caring that she was currently being cooked for dinner.
"Oh please, I'd rather have a quick and painless death, I don't want the last thing I see before I die is your ugly face eating me whole. Your face is so ugly not even your mother would love it"
Bert got really defensive and glared at Ankoku.
"Don't you dare talk about my mother, wench" he said.
"I'll talk about your mother as much as I want, bitch. You're not the boss of me" Ankoku retorted.
"I should sit on you and squash you into jelly" Bert threatened.
"Oh, I'm shaking, I'm shaking" Ankoku said sarcastically.
Bert got fed up with Ankoku and cracked his knuckles.
"I saw we forget about eating this wench, let's just kill her" he said.
Ankoku just snorted, not taking his threat seriously.
"Yeah, come on bitch, you think you have enough balls to kill me?"
"You little wench, you want a piece of me?" Bert threatened.
"Bring it on, bitch" Ankoku taunted.
Bert stormed right up to the spit and got into Ankoku's face, hoping to scare her, but it just egged her on. She struggled against her binds, itching to wipe that smug look off the trolls face.
"Get me off of here, you pussy! Get me off of here, I'll fuck you up!" She threatened.
Sora and the others that were tied on to the spit tried to talk her out of it, fearing that they would get thrown into the fire with all the movement she was making.
Ankoku and Bert just bickered with each other until William the troll had enough and smacked Bert in the head.
"Knock it off! How many times do I have to tell you to stop playing with your food?"
Bert rubbed his sore head and pointed at Ankoku.
"But she started it"
Ankoku just blew a raspberry at him, clearly showing that she could care less that she got in trouble.
"What are you gonna do now, bitch? Have your idiot comrades do all the talking since you're not smart enough to come up with a good come back?"
William rolled his eyes and shoved an apple in her mouth to silence her.
"Shut yer trap, wench. I don't fancy having my dinner talking back at me"
"I don't fancy her talking period" Riku muttered.
Hikari kicked him from within her sack.
"Less talking, more freeing" she said.
Riku sighed and tried to get his hand out of the sack once again.
Tom the troll groaned as he watched William slowly cook the dwarves.
"There's no point cooking them, let's just eat them raw" he said.
William shook his head.
"No, they need to be roasted with a sprinkle of sage to make them taste good" he said.
Tom growled and threw his hands up in the air.
"Well hurry up! We haven't got all night and I don't fancy turning to stone"
The lightbulb went off in Bilbos head when he heard that. If running away wasn't an option then perhaps stalling them would.
Finally he could show the dwarves his usefulness in the group.
"Wait!" He cried.
He struggled to get up on his feet within the sack and hopped towards the trolls, getting their attention.
"You are making a very big mistake if you think sage is good to cook dwarves" he said.
The dwarves looked at him as if he grew a second head. What in the world was he talking about?
The trolls just looked at him curiously.
"What's wrong with the way we're cooking them?"
Bilbo gulped not really thinking this far into his plan. He had to come up with something quick in order to keep their attention.
"W-well have you smelled them? It'll take a whole more than sage to plate this lot" he said.
"You traitor!" Oin growled while the others shouted profanities at him.
"So what do you know about the secret to cooking dwarves?" Bert the troll asked.
Bilbo bit his lip as he tried to come up with something crazy and outrageous. Something that would surely get him killed by the dwarves if they survived this.
"Well the secret to cooking dwarves is...to skin them first!"
The dwarves roared in protests as they desperately tried to get out of their satchels. There's no way they were going to get skinned by trolls.
"Tom,get me knife" Bert said.
"I'll skin you, you little-" Oin snapped.
"Bilbo, what the hell?!" Riku interrupted. He never expected the hobbit to come up with something like that.
"I won't forget that!" Dwalin cried.
"What a load of rubbish" William said.
"I've eaten plenty with their skins on"
"He's right. Nothing wrong with a Bit of raw dwarf"Tom said.
He went over to the group that was still tied up and picked up Bombur.
"Nice and crunchy"
Bombur panicked and tried to wiggle away from the trolls mouth that was quickly approaching his face.
Bilbo panicked and came up with the only thing that came to his mind.
"No, not him! He's infected!" He cried.
The trolls looked at him strangely.
"You what?"
Bilbo nodded his head vigorously as if trying to be serious.
"Yes, he's got worms in his...tubes"
Tom looked at Bombur with disgust and tossed Bombur back to the group. Sadly for Riku, Bombur landed on him and knocked the wind out of his lungs.
"My spleen" he groaned.
Bilbo shook his head and looked at the trolls.
"In fact they're all infested with parasites" he explained.
"I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't"
He thought the dwarves would catch on to his plan, but sadly they didn't. They all looked at him with disgust that he would first betray them then spout such nonsense rumors about them.
"We don't have parasites, you have parasites!" Kili yelled.
Bilbo rolled his eyes, clearly not happy that the others hadn't caught on to his plan. Fortunately Thorin did and quickly kicked one of the nearest dwarves to shut them up. They all looked at Thorin and then back at Bilbo, finally catching.
"Why, of course we have parasites" Hikari laughed nervously.
"We're all covered with them, aren't we guys?"
"I-I've got parasites as big as my arm" Oin insisted.
"Mine are the biggest parasites! I've got huge parasites!" Kili added.
Everyone quickly added on how big there parasites were.
"We're riddled!" Dora chimed.
"Yeah we're totally covered with them" Sora said and started mock coughing.
William the troll looked at Bilbo darkly.
"What would you have us do then, let them all go?" He asked.
Bilbo shrugged, acting indifferent even though he desperately hoped they would set them free.
The troll just poked him in the chest, shoving him a few feet.
"You think I don't know what you're up to?" He said.
"This little ferret is taking us for fools"
"Ferret?!" Bilbo exclaimed at the insult.
During all the commotion, no one realized that the dwarves and trolls were not alone. Hiding around the outskirts of the camp, Gandalf appeared on top of a huge bolder that overlooked the camp. Holding his staff tightly, he finally made his appearance known so his companions could be saved.
"The dawn will take you all!" He cried.
The company looked relieved while the trolls looked confused.
"Who is that?"
"Can we eat him?"
Gandalf slammed his staff down on the rock and had half of it break off. When the boulder split, it poured the morning sunlight on to the whole camp. The trolls cried in agony and they're bodies turned to stone. They tried to shield their eyes from it thinking if they didn't see it, they wouldn't turn.
Sadly that wasn't the case and trolls were frozen in their stone prisons, never to be seen or heard from again.
When the company realized they were safe, they broke out in cheers, relieved that they weren't going to be eaten by the trolls.
Ankoku finally managed to spit the apple that was lodged in her mouth and looked at Gandalf.
"Hey gramps! Since you finally decided to come back, how about you get us the hell off of this thing?"
It seemed things were going back to the way they were...sort of.
/
A/N: so there you have it. This is probably the longest chapter I've created for this story so far but I'm sure it makes up for the time I've been away. I hope you thought the troll scene was funny, I still laugh over Ankoku talking smack to one of the trolls and starting a fight.
They were able to get away from the trolls, but they're pussy cats compared to what they're going to face next.
Please review and tell me what you think!
JA ne!