Blaine, Kurt, Nick and Jeff all piled into Blaine's car, Kurt in the passenger seat and Nick and Jeff sitting in the back. Wes and David were driving seperatly.

"How did you like the Warbler's performance, Kurt?" Jeff asked, kicking his feet up in the seat and laying his head in Nick's lap. Nick smiled and twisted a lock of Jeff's blonde hair around his finger.

"It was amazing!" Kurt said. He still had the big, real smile stretched across his face. "You guys were really good." Blaine beamed.

Blaine reached over and turned on the radio. "So, Kurt, how was your first day at Dalton?"

Kurt shrugged. "It was good. Bit more challenging than McKinley, but... it was good." He looked up at Blaine and smiled.

"Good! That's good." Blaine was honestly relieved. He was worried that with how skittish Kurt was, something would go wrong. "I'm glad you had a good day, Kurt."

Kurt looked up and felt the strange fluttering feeling in his stomach. He flushed and looked back at the car floor.

As usual, he stayed silent while the other three chatted amicably, relaying their days to eachother. But instead of being a queasy silence, it was more like a peacful one. He was content to listen to Jeff's rambling and Nick and Blaine's occasional comment. He didn't feel on edge. He didn't feel nervous. It just felt nice.

"Kurt?" Blaine spoke quietly, snapping him out of his revere.

"Huh?" He looked over at Blaine, who was eyeing him carefully.

"You're sure nothing bad happened today?" He asked quietly, the worry clear on his face. He put his hand on top of Kurt's where it was resting on his thigh, and Kurt stiffened slightly. "First days can be a bit overwhelming, especially with..." He trailed off uncertianly, squeezing Kurt's hand.

Kurt looked down at their hands, then back up at Blaine's earnest expression. "It was fine, Blaine. Really." And he wasn't lying. It really had been good.

Blaine nodded and squeezed Kurt's hand gently again before withdrawing it and putting it back on the steering wheel, turning up the radio.

Nick watched the interaction between the boys and sighed quietly. It was obvious that Blaine was seriously crushing on Kurt. Lord knows that boy did not know how to conceal his emotions at all. But Nick was worried about Kurt. What if Blaine ended up being too eager and it scared Kurt away? Nick was worried that with all that Kurt had been through, he wouldn't even be able to reciprocate Blaine's feelings.

But Kurt didn't seem like he was uncomfortable when Blaine had grabbed his hand. In fact, Kurt had blushed and smiled and held his hand back. What did all of it mean? Was Kurt getting better?

Blaine pulled his car into the parking lot of the Lima Bean, parking next to David's car. "Alright, guys, here we are." He said, undoing his seatbelt and stepping out of the car. Kurt made to open his car door, but Blaine quickly raced around the car and tugged open the door before Kurt could. "I got it!" He said cheerfully. Nick rolled his eyes.

Kurt smiled and stood up out of the car, the four of them walking to the cafe.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

"So, be honest, Kurt." Wes said, settling into his seat next to David at the table. "What did you think of the Warbler's performance?"

"It was amazing!" Kurt said, a smile lighting up his face. He looked down at the table, his fingers tracing the soft wood. "The New Directions don't stand a chance." He added quietly.

"Were you ever a part of the new directions?" Blaine asked curiously, glancing over at Kurt. Kurt stiffened.

The Kurt that had been in the New Directions didn't feel like him anymore. It felt like an eternity ago that they had been plotting ways to get one more member to meet the required twelve that show choirs needed to compete. He remembered the day he had quit the Glee Club, and the disbelief on all of the member's faces. It felt like it had happened to another person.

Kurt was in shock. He couldn't feel anything.

He felt the physical pain, of course. He could feel the deep, flaring ache inside of him every time he took a step. But the pain didn't feel like him.

He was numb.

Silent tears streamed down his face as he slowly limped down the deserted hallway. He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it.

Karofsky. Homophobic, neanderthal Karofsky, the one who relentlessly bullied and teased him for his sexualitly, had turned out to be...

Kurt let out a choked sob.

He didn't know what he was going to tell the glee club. They were surely wondering where he was right about now. The thought of returning to the glee club, and sitting and chatting with Mercedes, and singing, felt unfathomable. He didn't think he could sing. He didn't think he could do anything.

He scrubbed at the tears on his cheeks as he stood outside of the choir room. He knew that he still looked extremly disshiveled, but he really didn't care. He really couldn't imagine caring about anything anymore. He opened the door to the Glee Club and stepped inside.

Mr. Schue first noticed him enter. "Kurt! There you are!" He said, glancing over at him briefly before looking back at the whiteboard. "You're a bit late, but it's okay, because we haven't actually started yet."

Surprisingly, it was Brittany who was the first to notice Kurt's wrinkled clothes and damp, lank hair. "Are you okay, Kurtie?" She asked, her eyebrows bunching up in concern. "You kind of look, like, not put together. What's wrong?"

The other Glee clubbers turned towards him, their eyes studying his appearance critically.

"Yeah, you do look like hell, Hummel." Puck said, folding his arms. "You alright?"

"I..." Kurt tried to speak, but his throat felt as if it had closed up. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I'm... I'm quitting Glee club."

Eleven pairs of dubious eyes stared back at him.

Rachel spoke first. "Kurt, you... you can't quit!" She looked completly outraged at the idea. "Why on Earth would you quit?! We're already down one member, we can't lose another! How could you be so selfish?"

"I just... don't w-want to be in glee anymore." Kurt said, a single tear leaking from his eye and streaking down his cheek. "I'm sorry, I just can't."

"Kurt, is everything okay?" Mr. Schue asked, the concern clear on his face.

He wasn't okay. He wasn't anything close to okay. His life felt as if it was spiraling out of control, and he felt like he was desperatly trying to hold the pieces of his broken body together. He didn't think that he could ever be okay again.

He didn't say any of this. Instead, he wiped the tear off of his cheek and turned his head up. "I'm fine, Mr, Schue."

That was the first day that his life started collapsing. He didn't even feel like that was him anymore.

"No." He lied, his voice voice barely more that a whisper. "I wasn't."

Blaine frowned at the change in Kurt's expression. "Well, you can always join the glee club here if you want!" He said, reaching out and grabbing Kurt's hand under the table.

Kurt glanced up at Blaine and felt his lips quirk up. He knew that he would never join the Warblers. But it was nice that Blaine cared so much about him.

"Alright, here's the coffee!" Jeff said suddenly, carrying a tray with six cups of coffee. "Kurt, your mocha."

"Oh, uh... thanks, Jeff." He said as Jeff slid the cup across the table to them and settled into his seat next to Nick. Kurt took a small sip, feeling the warmth bloom in his chest. It made him feel a bit better.

Jeff propped his elbow against Nick's shoulder. "So, you'll never believe what Mr. Salyers did today in gym."

The farmiliarity of it was comforting. Jeff chattering away, occasional nods from the rest of the group, and Kurt being the silent observer. It had become a routine with Kurt. He loved being around the other boys, and he loved how they had absorbed Kurt into their group with seemingly no trouble at all.

Kurt couldn't help but notice how close Nick and Jeff were to eachother, even in the middle of a conversation. Jeff was always playing with Nick's hair, or had an arm around his shoulder, and Nick absently tapped his fingers against Nick's thigh, or twined their fingers togetherover and over. It filled Kurt with a sort of aching happiness that he couldn't really explain.

Nick and Jeff were the perfect couple in Kurt's mind. Nick and Jeff had both gone through struggles, and it seemed as if they made eachother into better people because of it. Kurt really did wish to have that kind of unconditional love someday, and he hoped that it wasn't a selfish wish.

He knew it would never happen, given the circumstances. But it was still nice to imagine.

GLEEGLEEGLEEGLEEGLEE

The six of them all exited the cafe together, Wes and David still chattering about the setlist for sectionals. Kurt had gone silent again, absently fiddling with the lid of his empty coffee cup. He looked downcast.

"You okay, Kurt?" Blaine asked, tilting his head down to catch Kurt's eye. His eyes were clouded over, and he looked lost in thought.

Kurt's head snapped up. "Oh. Yeah. Fine" He shrugged, brushing a strand of his hair off of his forehead. "I'm okay." Blaine smiled at him, and he felt the farmiliar swooping in his chest.

"Hey look, it's Hummel!"

Blaine saw Kurt instantly freeze at the noise, his whole body tensing up. All six boys turned around to find themselves face to face with the last people that Kurt ever wanted to see. Three large, muscular teenagers in red letterman jackets, all sneering at Kurt.

Who were these boys? Wes glanced at Blaine, his eyes questioning, and Blaine shrugged bemusedly in response.

"What do you w-want from me, Azimio?" Kurt asked, his voice trembling slightly as he spoke to one of the boys in the group.

"What are you still running around here for, homo?" The boy, apparently called Azimio sneered. "Shouldn't you still be locked up in the nut house after your little stunt with Karofsky back at McKinley?"

Blaine didn't recognize the name, but he noticed both Kurt and Nick freeze as soon as he said it. Kurt's eyes got bigger, and Nick's eyes narrowed dangerously. He looked completly furious.

"Is there a problem here?" Blaine quickly asked as he stepped protectivly in front of Kurt, fighting to keep his tone mild.

"Aw, look, it's Kurt's boyfriend." Said another one of the boys, laughing a cruel, cold laugh. "Bunch of fags, the lot of you."

"Excuse me." Wes said, also stepping foward in front of Kurt with a glare. "You have no right to talk to my friends like that."

Azimio rolled his eyes. "Whatever, fairies." He said before he and the other boys left.

"Thank god they're gone. You okay, Kurt?" Blaine asked, turning to glance at him. But Kurt's eyes had clouded over, and he was breathing in ragged gasps, his fingers digging into the inside of his palm.

"Kurt! Hey, Kurt, what's wrong?" Blaine put his hand cautiously on Kurt's shoulder, only to have it wrenched away.

"I... I can't..." He gasped, his breath eratic, "Can't breathe..."

"He's having a panic attack." Jeff said quickly, stepping in front of Blaine and looking into Kurt's eyes. "Kurt, I want you to sit on the ground and put your head in between your knees, okay?" He said softly. Kurt numbly obeyed, dropping to the ground and squeezing his head tightly. "Now, I'm going to touch you now, okay? I need you to try to match your breathing to mine." Jeff slowly took Kurt's hand and placed it on his own chest, taking a slow, exaggerated breath.

Kurt forced his own breathing to slow down, barely aware of Jeff's worried presence crouched beside him. All he could feel was the painful constricting in his chest, no doubt because of the lack of oxygen that was going to his lungs.

Jeff let out a sigh of relief when Kurt's breathing slowly became less eratic. "Are you okay, Kurt?" He asked softly.

Kurt slowly lifted his head, looking at Jeff. "Hey." He said quietly. "...Sorry for freaking out on you."

Jeff waved his hand dismissivly. "It's okay." He said, giving Kurt a smile and extending his hand. Kurt took it and hauled himself to his feet.

"Who were those guys?" David asked, glancing back at where the boys had just retreated.

Kurt stiffened again. "J...just some neanderthals from m-my old school." He said, forcing his voice to stay calm.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Blaine asked worriedly.

Kurt gave his head a little shake and forced a smile on his face. "Yeah. Course I will." He said. "Come on, let's head back."

GLEEGLEEGLEE

Oof. I didn't like this chapter very much. (Besides the flashback because, as I have mentioned previously, I like writing flashbacks).

So, Kurt has told the other boys that he wasn't in the new directions. How will Blaine find out that he was lying? I actually have several ideas, but I don't know which one I like the most.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed anyway! Bye!