Imaginary Love

Chapter 12: Come into the Light, I'm Here

Music: Imaginary Love by Rufus Wainwright and Trust by L'arc En Ciel

Author's Note: Picks up right where chapter 11 left off. Light-hearted and a little fluffy but that's ok…I hope.

Kakashi's POV:

The sun woke me very early that morning. Iruka had shifted in the night. He was on the other side of the bed curled up. I smiled at the look on his face. I don't care what people say, most people aren't beautiful when they sleep. They don't look like little angels and Iruka was no exception. His dark brown hair was in tangles and matted against his face. His cheeks were pleasantly rosy and his mouth hung open as if caught midway in a yawn. I wanted to kiss him.

Instead, "Wake up, sleepyhead."

"Mmmm?" He groaned.

"It's morning…we have lots to do today." I started to kiss his shoulder.

"Uhhhhh….like whaaaat?" He yawned.

"We can spend the whole day together, just the two of us." I whispered in his ear.

"Well…if it's my choice…I'm going to sleep in." He pulled the covers over his head before letting out an awkward screech and jumping out of bed.

"It's Monday! Monday!" He started grabbing clothes from the closet and throwing them on. "Oh crap. Where's my brush? Ugh…my hair! I can't go like this."

"Wearing my clothes?" I grinned.

"What?" He stopped and looked down. The clothes hung loosely around him but they fit well enough. "Oh…it's too late to go back to my place to get some." He ran a hand through his hair. "Do you own a brush?"

"Yeah…in the bathroom." I said, getting out of bed. I watched him frantically dart into the bathroom and run a brush through his hair and pull it back. Some rebellious strands still hung around his face but at this point he didn't seem to care.

I went into the kitchen to try and make him something for breakfast but he ran out the door, yelling, "Byeeee!"

I sighed. Now I had nothing to do. I went to my bedroom to get Icha Icha and started reading.

But after a few minutes my mind began to wander. I dropped the book, got my gear on and headed out. I was going to have fun.

Iruka walked in after me, glaring. "I can't believe you. You're just damn lucky—"

I grinned.

"Uh-huh…you think that grin is going to erase what you did?" He said; he was way past annoyed.

I reached out and pulled him into my lap. He struggled for a moment and then sighed. "C'mere and give us a kiss, babe." I smiled and watched him turn all shades of red. I just held him tighter. I couldn't help it. He was so cute!

"Fine." He kissed me quickly. "But I found your notebook! I have evidence that you were spying on me!" He got off my lap and dug through one of his pockets to pull out a little blue notebook.

My eyes widened for a second; how did he get that..? "It wasn't spying." I said. "It was lovingly observing my beloved." I chuckled a bit but he just huffed.

Iruka angrily flipped open a page and began to read, "12:15, Iruka is bending over to pick up a piece of chalk. His ass looks nice from here. 12:23, Iruka smiles at one of the children for answering a question correctly. 12:24, Iruka dodges a spitball. 12:28, I wonder if Iruka teaches sex-ed. 12:35, Iruka takes out his ponytail and flips his hair. 12:35 and 30 seconds, thinking dirty thoughts. 12:39, Shikamaru falls asleep again and Iruka ignores it. I would thwack him over the head or something….it goes on and on like that! Next time, just ask how my day was and I'll tell you!"

"So are you going to tell me how you got my notebook?" I eyed him playfully.

He thumbed through the book. "Ah-ha! 3:32, school seems to be almost over. May take quick nap and then surprise Iruka!" He put his hands on his hips triumphantly. "I saw you in that tree with that notebook. And so after school, I wanted to, you know, find out what you were doing."

I sighed dramatically, "You thought it was my diary?"

He blushed, "Nooo…"

"You know, if you want to know about my life…next time ask and I'll tell you!" I chuckled a little. "So continue…I'm curious."

//Flashback…sort of (yes it's meant to be in third person)//

Kakashi perked up once he heard the excited cheers of the students rushing out of the building. He glanced in the window, wondering if Iruka was still there. At first, he was surprised to see that Iruka was swaying his hips to some music, it seemed. He had never done this before. Could he be…a closet-dancer?! Kakashi scribbled his findings down in his notebook before shutting it and putting it in his pocket.

He jumped off of his tree branch and made his way inside the school building…to glomp his lover. He tiptoed around the corners and then, when the timing was right burst into the room!

A chalkboard eraser fell on to his head.

"Oh! Kakashi!" Iruka blushed.

"Why does that always happen when I come here?" Kakashi muttered to himself.

Iruka rushed over and hugged him. "It's so good to see you." His dark brown hair was still undone and fell around his shoulders. "Ohh…you have a leaf in your hair." Iruka picked it out and narrowed his eyes. So Kakashi was in that tree, he thought.

"Did you have a good day?" Kakashi smiled.

"Wanna guess?"

"I hope you di—" Kakashi was not expecting to be staring at the ceiling. Iruka had tackled him. "Wha…?" He asked still dazed

"Couldn't resist." There was a gleam in Iruka's eye. A prankster gleam but Kakashi didn't notice…he was too concerned about Iruka lips. Kakashi sat up and kissed Iruka. It was a playful, teasing kiss. Their hands wandered…Iruka's moved lower and lower until he felt a bump in Kakashi's pocket. He reached in and pulled out the notebook and placed it in his own.

He wasn't a ninja for nothing.

The kiss continued for a few moments longer until Kakashi tackled Iruka…so he could be on top. Iruka chuckled and Kakashi kissed the tip of his nose. "You're so cute."

"I love you." Iruka said and Kakashi's heart gleamed.

//End Flashback//

"You sneaky…" I muttered. Iruka just grinned.

"I owned you." Iruka's grin widened.

"…yeah…" I mumbled and was surprised to find that he was kissing me. It was a warm surprise…to see him comfortable with kissing me. I was so afraid that after Yukio he would be afraid of touch in general. But he trusted me. I knew that.

"I'm taking the day off tomorrow." He whispered. His hair was in his eyes and I brushed it away. "We can spend the whole day together. Just the two of us."

"Mmm…." I smiled. "Sounds nice." He kissed me again. "I can make dinner."

"No it's ok. We can have ramen. My treat."

Dinner was a loud affair. Naruto was there as well making big gestures and slurping sounds. "I'm definitely going to be the Hokage one day!"

Iruka didn't do what most adults would do, which is sighing and patting the child on the head. Iruka grinned, "I believe you will, Naruto-kun! Work hard!"

"Oh you don't have to tell me twice." He slurped some more noodles. I had finished my bowl much earlier and was just sitting there, taking up space.

The sky was just turning orange as we made our way back home. Neither of us was super comfortable with public affection yet. But we let out fingertips brush more than once. That contact sent shivers through me. I didn't expect to fall in love so deeply with anyone. Of course, I'd die for Iruka. That didn't mean much around here. Ninjas died all the time protecting people or causes they cared about. I would live for Iruka. That was much more precious.

We both went to sleep early that evening. The sun had barely set as we dozed off on the couch with my head in his lap and his fingers in my hair. Sometime during the night, I woke up to get a glass of water and then I brought Iruka back to bed. I undressed him so he wouldn't be uncomfortable in his chuunin uniform. I felt almost guilty…doing it without his knowledge or permission. But he must've been exhausted since he didn't stir…

…At least, not yet.

A few hours later, Iruka's foot twitched and I immediately sat up. Another nightmare? His breathing had quickened. "Oh, Iruka." I shook him gently, hoping to wake him up.

He sat up, eyes wide and caught halfway through a scream. His brown eyes darted around the room frantically until they settled on me. "Kakashi." He looked haunted. His small hands were shaking.

"It's was a nightmare, love." I tried to be soothing. I reached out to touch him.

"Don't!" His voice was sharp. "…not yet." He looked at me and I could tell he was struggling to find the words. "…let it…just let it pass." I chewed on the insides of my cheeks to keep from trying to make him talk about. He didn't seem ready…it was something I didn't want to force.

Iruka pulled his knees to his chest and slowly rocked back and forth. When he spoke, it was strained as if he were trying to not cry. "It hurts." He paused and took a deep breath. "It shouldn't."

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I was at a loss.

He finally let out a sob and I could hear him whisper: "I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine." A moment later he looked at me. "Hold me while I sleep."

And how could I deny him?

The next morning he was still curled up against me. He had slept fitfully that night. All the while, I held him and whispered into his ear, "I'll protect you…if you'll let me." Now, he seemed fine. A little drool had made its way on to my arm.

When he awoke, his eyes were foggy with sleep. I kissed forehead. "Good morning."

"Morning." He yawned. "I suppose you want to talk." He rolled his shoulders, trying to loosen himself from my hold. I wasn't going to give in. "Aren't your arms asleep?"

"Yes, I expect they're blue now." I said, playfully. But then I got serious, "We can talk when you're ready. But tell me something." I clenched my jaw. "Anything. I can only be kept in the dark for so long."

"I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It." He glared at me. "Let go." When he squirmed out of the bed, he walked away. "If I don't think about it, it can't hurt me."

I wrung the sheets in my hand. "Maybe you're having nightmares because…you're giving these feeling no other place to go but your subconscious."

His back was to me. "Everyone has nightmares. Even you." He turned around and glared.

It was true. Obito's death—among other things—plagued my dreams often. It was usually the same dream, merely a flashback. It wasn't that I blamed myself for Obito's death. I had…in the past. I blamed myself for losing my first friend so easily and quickly. If only I had been stronger.

"I know that look." Iruka said. His tone impassive. "That look….of regret."

"It's not your fault." I said, meeting his eyes.

"Even if it feels like it." He nodded. Tears welled up in his eyes. He spun around, his shoulders shaking. "I can't deal with this right now."

I got up out of bed and pulled him against me. "We need…we need to let each other in. Together…we can heal." After a few moments he softened against my embrace and nodded.