A/N: trying something new here to make my chapters longer. been reading a lot so bear with me, sorry if it sucks

Chapter 10: Talking

(Bpov)

I followed Esme back to the house, looking around as we ran, everything was so clear now, how have I been so blind? I could hear Jasper close behind us as we ran, I knew he was a soldier but that's really all Edward told me. he said I shoud ask Jasper about his story. I will have to ask him later, maybe he will tell me why he is so guarded near me. or protective when the family is around me. hmmm.

I heard the booming laughter as we came into the yard. then I was in the strong arms of Emmett, I laughed then remembered something he challenged me to years ago and instantly had him pinned to the ground. "damn bella" he laughed. "you are one tough little newborn" newborn. that word was so familiar to me, but I couldn't place it.

I let Emmett up and looked around, then I remembered the place, and flashes inside the house and to what I could tell was Carlisles study.

the door was open, I walked in and looked around the room at all the paintings. then I saw it. the three leaders. "Aro Caius and Marcus Volturi" I spun around to face Carlisle. he was standing by the door. "the vampire kings" I whispered. Edward had told me about them the night of my birthday party. Carlisle nodded. "they enforce the rules of our world" "you spent time with them" I said, looking at Carlisles image in the corner of the painting. he walked over to me. "about 100 years after I was turned, I was studying in Italy. their guards came across me in the woods while I was hunting. took me back to met the leaders. from then I joined them, for a while."

I nodded, Edward had told me some of this. "they wanted you to drink human blood" he looked at me and nodded. "after about 10 years I went out on my own, studying to be a doctor. and eventually came upon Edward" he said.

"Edward was afraid of them, that they would find out about me" Carlisle looked at me surprised. "why do you think that?" he asked, I shrugged "heard him on the phone once, before he..." I looked down, I couldn't finish that statement. I felt an arm around my shoulder and leaned into his side "we never should have left you." he said. I shook my head, I didn't want to hear pity. I knew they wanted to know why I tried to kill myself. "I guess its time to talk" I said, he nodded and we walked downstairs.

Everyone was gathered around the table. I stood in the corner by the window, I didn't want to sit down. Carlisle sat at the head of the table and spoke to the others. "Bella is ready to talk. we won't ambush her, but we are all going to talk." I stared out the window. "Bella?" I looked at Esme, she looked so different since the last time I saw her. "what happened" she asked. I frowned. "was it really that bad?" I heard Emmett mumble.

then I snapped

"was it really that bad?" I yelled "the girls at school never thought Edward was really with me because he loved me. they all thought I was paying him to be my boyfriend, paying to get you all to be my friends. when you all left that's when they really let loose with the torture. reminding me everyday that I wasn't good enough. that no one could ever love me. reminding me that not even my own mother wanted me. which I guess was true. a few months after you left she changed her number, haven't heard rom her since. but I guess that's just my lot on my human life."

I heard a crack and realized I was gripping the window frame, I frowned and turned away from the window. I glanced up and saw all their shocked faces, they don't even know the half of it. "you were my family, atleast you acted like it. Jasper and Emmett the ever protective brothers I never had growing up. Alice the sister I always wanted to go shopping with, maybe I would have actually liked shopping if I had a sister. even Rosalie, in her hate felt like an older sister, jealous that the new baby was getting all the attention."

I closed my eyes, feeling like I would burst out sobbing if I still could. "from the first day I met you it felt like Carlisle was just a little more attentive then Charlie. everytime I saw him he knew when I was feeling off. when something just wasn't right. and Esme. for the first time in my life I felt like I had a real mother. I always felt like the mother growing up. making sure the bills were paid, sure Renee did the work but she was never any good with money. or shopping. hell she almost burned the house down one night trying to make soup! I did everything for her and myself. cooking, cleaning, shopping. all while she had boyfriends in and out every night. when she met Phil I was relieved. finally I could be a kid. but by then it was too late. I could never get back a childhood. but having someone like you, all of you, constantly checking on me, at school, when I was at you house, when Edward went hunting. I felt like a kid. I felt like I could let go of being an adult just for a little while."

I heard a chair scrape and saw a flash of blonde before hearing a crash upstairs and a scale. I guessed Rosalie has smashed Edwards precious piano. seconds later she was back. "continue" she growled. "when you all left, you took my heart with you. when Edward left me in those woods, saying he never loved me, none of you did-" that's when Emmett stood up "he told you that? that we didn't love you?" I stepped back, I had never in my life seen Emmett that angry before. then I felt a wave of calm flood the room. "Emmett sit down" Esme said quietly. he sat down with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest, angry muscles bulging out of his arms.

"after a few months I couldn't take it. I left school. Charlie was furious, but I was 18, there was nothing he could do. I tried. I tried to be my old self, for Charlie. but he saw right through me. he stopped trying to find out what Edward told me. stopped trying t get me to talk about it. when he met Sue I saw a light in him I hadn't seen since I moved to forks. that's when I decided I was done. he has Sue now. I even found the ring in his jacket." I smiled at that memory, he got so red and flustered when I asked him about it.

"so I started doing some searching. I knew Carlisle couldn't stay away from hospitals if his life depended on it. he could never stop helping people. so that's how I found you. Cullen. central city hospital. so I left a note for Charlie. I knew this would hurt him, but he has Sue now, he will be ok. then I traveled here."

I looked at Carlisle "at first I was going to confront you, but when I saw you, it felt like my heart had been ripped apart all over again. so I went into your office and wrote the note. then slipped out before I was caught. went to the first hotel I could find, and here we are" I stood by the window watching as they processed everything I said.

then everything went crazy.

A/N: here you go! hope it doesn't suck. let me know what you think.