Hey peeps!
New chapter… yay!
Also… please tell me I'm not the only one who was slapped in the face by bitter disappointment of the Insurgent movie. They didn't include half the scenes that were in the book – they made connections that didn't even exist, they didn't include Tobias and Tris arguing (not that I like the arguing, but it makes the relationship stronger when they make up) and how come Peter was funny? He's meant to be cold, heartless and basically, 110 percent annoying asshole.
And the FourTris relationship? It wasn't believable. The producers are ahead of the book in the romance, I mean, before Tris went to Erudite headquarters – that was just awkward. Don't include passionate make-out scenes where they both strip if one of them is afraid of intimacy. I could go on.
But I won't, I'll save you from my rant with the new chapter! Enjoy peopleses! (Peopleses should be a word btw).
TRIS POV
I wake up the next morning in a dizzy mess. Although, strangely, I feel like I am in an elated dizzy mess. I rack my brain for a while to find out the cause, and then I find it – I no longer have the burden of being mad at Four. No… sorry, Tobias.
And then I remember Al.
He wasn't in yesterday, so I just forgot about him? What the hell is wrong with me? Am I so selfish that when something is quite clearly wrong in my friend's, my best friend's life that I just forget about him when I meet new people?
I don't want to answer that.
Today I will find him, interrogate him, and re-friend him. No forgiveness is involved. I don't need to forgive him – I can't believe it strikes me only now that this was our first contact after his parents discovering he was gay. It will be to do with that. Obviously.
I rush getting ready – I'm not late, I just want to get to school really early so I can see Al. I throw on my uniform, pack my bag, dash down the stairs and out the door. I can hear Caleb calling out to me that I didn't eat, but I'm too pumped to need fuel. Who needs breakfast when you have adrenaline?
I run all down the streets and only when I get to school do I notice the sweaty, breathless disaster I have become. Thank god I forgot to do eyeliner this morning – the sweat dripping off my forehead would make it run.
There's basically no-one hear to stare at me, which I'm grateful for, and I make my way to the bathroom, which is so unfortunately next to the boy's. I open the door to the girls and go straight to the mirror. I despise those girls who just stand on front of these mirrors all of break and lunch, and apply make-up. Well, when I say apply, I really mean cover themselves in it.
I get some loo roll and wipe the sweat off my forehead, then spray some deodorant under my arms. Much better already, but my hair is all over the place. Not much I can do about that, so I leave the bathroom finger combing it. People have started to flit through the doorways at random, and the hallways become increasingly crowded.
I scanned the crowd for Al, but to no success. He just wasn't there.
Maybe he'll come later. I consoled myself. Al does have a bit of a reputation for showing up just before the bell goes. There's no chance he would be here early.
So I set off to class. Al and I have first period together, and also Tobias, Zeke and Uriah have this class too. I guess now that we're friends I should go chat to them. So I head over, preparing myself for the awkwardness that comes with newly acquainted people.
I lightly tap Tobias's back. He tenses and lets out a grunt, whilst swinging his elbow backwards in reaction and hitting me in the stomach. I hiss and hunch over, that's got to bruise. He was one sharp elbow.
He turns around and sees me hunched and hugging my stomach. His eyes widen in realisation, and Zeke and Uriah both look alarmed.
"Tris! I'm so sorry!" Tobias rushes. I remove one hand from my stomach and wave it at him.
"It's fine," I say through gritted teeth. "But why did you tense up when I touched your back?" His eyes, still filled with horror go hard.
"I injured my back the other day." He says. I nod in understanding. He still looks horrified by what he did.
"Honestly, Four. I'll be okay. I mean, it will probably bruise but…" I stop myself as I see his face. It is almost line every line is etched with mingled guilt and pain.
"I didn't mean that. Can we just move on?" I suggest, the pain starting to fade. The Pedrad brothers nod.
"We're all sitting together at lunch again, yes?" Zeke says and I nod. "Great, because we had great fun yesterday."
"You're just saying that because you got close to Shauna!" Uriah taunts, and I laugh at their brotherly banter.
"But then," I interject, "Uriah you can't really talk because you only really made eyes at Marlene the whole time!" He blushes, and I take happiness in the fact that after such a bad start, we can joke around so easily. My eyes find Tobias's and the warmth in his gaze is relaxing. I am with friends.
"Moving swiftly on," Uriah says. "Are you guys coming to the game tonight?" He asks me, and I stare at him, dumbfounded.
"It's Friday?" The school football matches are always on Friday. Uriah, Zeke and Tobias, all being jocks (pre-social pyramid takedown) are all on the team. I guess now nerds, hippies, wannabies and druggies can apply for the team, but I have my doubts that they will. Most of us nerds are too shy or unfit to make the team, the hippies don't believe in conflict and competition, the wannabies wouldn't want to take the spotlight away from the jocks and the druggies have wrecked their bodies anyway. I know I shouldn't be naming them anymore, seeing as there is no longer social classes and levels, but old habits die hard. It's not like a druggie will stop being a druggie.
I used to go to football games when I first came here – I thought supporting the school team would make me a great spirit and maybe even help me make friends. I was wrong when the cheerleaders chased me out whilst chanting 'nerd' and 'freak'. I soon learned that school sports event were only for popular people, cheerleaders, dancers, wannabies and obviously jocks.
"Yeah it's Friday. So you coming?" I don't feel comfortable going to football matches, and I doubt I will for a while. Lauren was particularly mean to me at those events when I dared show up. Football matches at this school bring bad memories, and as much as I hate to admit it, even though the social levels have gone I'm still scared Lauren will chase me away along with the rest of her posse.
"Erm… I can't tonight… but I'm sure the rest of the gang can…" Out of the corner of my eye I see Tobias frown, but the Pedrads don't seem to be too bothered.
"That's fine, as long as you come to the next game!" Zeke says, obviously over-confident. I nod, knowing fine well that I won't.
The bell goes, everyone sits down and the teacher comes in. Immediately she starts the attendance, but I notice something odd. She skips Al's name.
Normally Al would come after Hannah Grey and before Angus Shay James. But the teacher just moves on from Hannah straight to Angus.
What?
Why's Al's name not on the register?
Once the teacher finishes the attendance, I put my hand up before she can move onto the lesson.
"Miss, you skipped Al's name." She looks at me sadly.
"Oh, Miss Prior, Albert left our school." She says, and my heart sinks. Tears start to brim in my eyes and I fight them back.
"Do you know where he moved to?" Possibly he moved to a school close to here; possibly I'll still be able to see him.
"I think his family was moving to England." My heart starts to crack, but I don't let it. I will not break down on front of all these people.
"May I be excused?" I ask, my voice wavering. The look she gives me is full of pity, and I hate it, but I have a better chance of getting out of here if I'm not rude. She must feel sympathy for me, as she lets me go without question.
I collect my books and rush out the room, straight out of the school building and to our secret spot. Behind the café, on the bins. I cry, as I find myself doing more often these days. It's all too much – Tobias, and now Al. They both left me.
I sniffle quietly. I was so selfish that I didn't enquire further into why Al acted as he did, I just thought of myself and rushed off in self-pity. I spent time and made friends with other people, while Al probably had something big going on.
In short, I will never find out as to why Al acted as he did due to my own selfishness. My best friend, gone.
Why did he suddenly move to England? It doesn't make sense. Either it was planned for a while, and he didn't tell me, or it was recently organized. What if it was something to do with him being gay? What if being gay was something to do with moving away?
I'm so confused. If Al were here right now, I would speak everything on my mind and he would help me arrange information and sort things out. But he's not, and won't ever be. He can't still be here if his name was already taken off the register.
I look around myself, taking in my surroundings. Al and I had once decided that we would mark this place as ours, some way of permanently saying that this was our secret spot. We never got round to it. But something catches my eye, something that wasn't there the last time we were here. Hidden behind one of the bins, but not so that you can't properly see it, a small line of silver is visible on the gravelly wall of the shut-down café. I narrow my eyes and walk up to it, moving the bin to the side.
What I see doesn't surprise me, it makes me feel happy. This is the kind of cliché end you get in movies, where someone finds a note or message left to them by their lover/friend who died or left. This kind of stuff doesn't happen in real life. Not to me, at least.
Silver spray paint writes words on the wall, not at all in a creative way, but perfect all the same.
TRIS AND AL'S PLACE
He marked it – like we said we would. It's like an almost closure, but for a proper closure, or goodbye, I need so properly speak to Al. It's comforting; it's not enough.
I make my way back to school, feeling better than I felt when I left it. People would probably mistake my contentedness for happiness, as people so regularly do. Just because I am okay right now doesn't mean I am happy. I don't feel particularly much, just a weird sense of finality. But it's a false feeling – things are not over between Al and me.
I check the time on my watch and see that it is lunchtime, so I head to the cafeteria. Christina jumps up when I enter the room, and runs towards me. I am engulfed in a hug that only a true friend could give. But I don't need the comfort.
"Tris… I'm so sorry about Al. I mean, Will and I are upset too, but we weren't as close to him as you were." I nod in appreciation.
She leads me over to the group's table where I am met with a lot of sympathetic looks. No pitiful ones though, which I am thankful for. Murmurs of 'sorry' and 'are you okay?' go around, and I meet each with the same statement – I could be better; I could be worse.
I don't pay attention to the conversation, and nor does Tobias, I notice, once again. I smile at him and he returns it. Seeing as I am sat as far away from him as possible, not purposefully, obviously, we can't talk. So he mouths.
'You okay?'
I shrug. 'Not too bad' I mouth in response. His scepticism is clear. I don't blame him.
The group continues chatting, and I stay in my own world for the rest of lunch. The next two lessons go by quickly, and before I know it it's the end of the day.
As I leave, Tobias appears by my side.
"Don't you have a game to play in?" I ask, not in a mean way though.
"Not for another…" He checks his watch. "Two hours. So I thought I'd walk home with you." I honestly don't reject the idea. The only person I'd otherwise walk home with was Al, even though his house was in a different direction. Sometimes we would go to our secret spot and then walk home.
"Okay." We start to walk in silence, but not an uncomfortable one. Finally he breaks it.
"I could tell you were lying when you said you couldn't come to the game tonight. You were never a good liar." Good memories come to mind, where I stole biscuits from my kitchen and blamed it on him. Everyone could always tell when I was lying.
"I prefer to say that I was economical with the truth." He laughs.
"It's a euphemism." We say at the same time.
"Jinx!" I shout, and we both laugh. I'm carefree with him, like the past years didn't happen.
"So honestly," He says, sobering up, "Why did you lie?"
I shrug.
"I don't really have the best memories with football matches at this school." Short and sweet Tris, good work. He frowns, his heavy eyebrows standing strong above his eyes.
FOUR POV
What does that mean? I remember that some of the bitches in pink liked to chase out nerds from watching football matches, but I don't remember names. Was she one of them?
The popular girls, or bitches in pink as they are so commonly called in my mind, have always pissed me off. It's a whine here, or a cling there, and the bird bath in my garden probably has more depth than them.
I watch Tris carefully, looking at the way her face shapes into a sharp chin at the bottom, the way her hair falls on front on her face and she doesn't push it away, instead, she keeps it there as if she's hiding. Her blue grey eyes twinkle, but there is a dullness in parts of them that I know is associated with her history with troublesome best friends.
"I think I can guess what happened. How about you come to this one, and if you don't like it you don't come to the next?" I look for her reaction, but her face is unyielding. I can't tell what she's thinking. But I bet if it were the other way round, if she were trying to figure out what I was thinking, she's manage it in a heartbeat. She was always too perceptive, and although I haven't seen that side of her, let alone any side of her, for years, I remember our friendship fondly.
"I'm not sure…" Her voice is quiet, thinking.
"How about we have a competition." She raises her eyebrows.
"What are you proposing?" She asks.
"A competition. Every week we do it, the winner gets to determine whether you go to the football game or not." She looks like she is mulling over the idea.
"What would the competition be?"
"Rock paper scissors." I reply confidently. She rolls her eyes.
"Seriously? Rock paper scissors?" I nod. "Fine." She says.
"Well, Tris, let's determine your fate." I say. We play, she draws scissors and I draw rock. I win.
"Hah. You're coming to the game."
"Fine."
Hola!
So… hope you enjoyed that. I don't want it moving too fast.
SUMMARY OF THE CHAPTER COS I CAN'T TELL HOW BAD MY WRITING IS:
Tris wakes up happy because she forgave Tobais. Then she is angry at herself for forgetting about Al, so she goes to school determined to find out what happened. Whoops, looks like Al moved to England (for reasons to be declared in future chapters) and Tris didn't get a chance to ask for an explanation. She goes to their secret spot and finds that Al marked that places as theirs.
She goes back to school (having left during first period) and deals with people feeling sorry for her, with Al leaving. The rest of the day zooms by and before we know it, she's walking back with Tobias. They make a deal that every week they will play rock paper scissors, the winner getting to decide whether Tris goes to that week's football match. Tris loses, and will end up having to go the match.
Phew.
QOTC: What's your favourite book/movie/tv series quote? Don't make it from Divergent, because I think there would be too many Uriah and Tobias quotes for me to handle, and I would break down. Literally.
Mine would be… oh, the one from the Ninth Doctor, (Doctor Who) – 'You were amazing, absolutely amazing. And you know what? So was I."
Good old Doctor Who.
Peace out!