Now, I am on even more limited time. So fuck.

"So Gersch, why aren't you here right now?" asked Dempsey. He said it calmly, but he was actually so angry that he had gone full circle.

"Well you see Dempsey, I was running errands."

"Oh really. And you didn't mentioned this why?"

"I thought Maxis told you."

"Well, he didn't."

"Damn. Well, it'll take me a little while. Like, an hour."

"An hour!"

"I went all the way to Iraq!"

"Iraq! Why the fuck did you go to Iraq?"

"The US military is still there, they are holding my friends."

"Oh, those dudes. How they doing?"

"Pretty well. But enough talk. Trying to pilot a plane that was made in America. Rather hard since I'm a Russian cosmonaut. Bye!"

Dempsey hung up the communicator. "You heard the man. It'll take a while."

"Damn it" muttered Nikolai. "I am running out of vodka. Someone find me a Max Ammo!"

"How about Magarita?" proposed Samantha.

"That gives you extra mags, not a Max Ammo" replied the Russian. "Twelve fucking maps and not a damn Max Ammo machine. Oh no, we have a Random Perk Machine, but no Max Ammo machine! Fuck logic!"

"Treyarch needs to read some fan letters" murmured Samantha.

"It's not just Treyarch anymore" said Takeo looking at the sky.

Dempsey threw up his hands. "Is EVERYONE breaking the fourth wall now? What the fuck is going on here?"

"Changing market Tank" replied the Cossack.

"What in the name of Spock are you talking about?"

"The fifth wall."

"There's five now?"

"Yep."

"Why wasn't I informed? I've been breaking the fourth wall since 08!"

"People are tired of you Tank. You're old."

"Old? I will shove my size ten boots up your size three ass!"

Takeo stepped between them. "Brothers, now is not the time. These undead before us need some treatment."

Dempsey smiled and lifted his machine gun. "And I'm gonna supply some counseling to them."

The four turned and backed up against the stone wall. Zombies began to approach from every direction except behind them, forcing them between a rock and a hard place.

"Fuck it we're getting cornered!" exclaimed Demspey.

Nikolai lifted his M320-GLM and fired a hole into the crowd. "Run!"

They ran through the opening and sprinted left of the power room. They passed by where Nikolai had been strung up and reached into the barracks.

"We got another zipline! Oh shit!" cried Dempsey.

They ran onto the metal platform and he flipped the switch. It shuddered to life and they began to move.

"So, where does it lead?" asked Dempsey.

"No idea" admitted Samantha.

"Well that's great. Real great."

Then a mass of orange smashed into the platform.

Nikolai exclaimed in surprise and stumbled into the handrail. He tripped and fell over the rail.

"Nikolai!" cried Dempsey reaching at the space where the Russian had been.

Takeo immediately stood on the railing. "I shall go after him. If I don't make it, tell my wife, I regret I never got to fifth base."

Then he jumped into the abyss.

Dempsey leaned over the railing and stared into the dark ravine. "Wait, there's a fifth base? What the fuck have I been missing?"

Takeo landed on a bed of hard stone. He rolled to recover and shook off the dizziness. He turned and saw that the Russian was still rolling in pain.

"Get up Cossack. I risked my life to save yours, so get moving."

The Russian looked at him. "Oh great. Now I have to die with you. I was hoping Dempsey would come, so it'd at least be interesting. Even Sam would've been better."

Takeo grabbed him and pulled him to his feet. "Just shut up and get climbing."

"You think they'll be ok?" asked Sam leaning on the rail.

"You're talking about the drunk Cossack and the samurai? They're just as badass as I am."

"That's why I am worried."

He gave her a death glare. "I really hate you."

She smiled. "But you still love me."

"Next time, say that in your real-life 18 year old female body, and I might consider it a compliment."

She sighed. "I fucking hate this body. I swear, when I got it I had freaking dead flesh on the thighs."

"Wait, you mean like the body's skin, or someone else's skin?"

"Someone else's."

Dempsey burst into hysterical laughter. "Holy mother of God, Richtofen was into necrophilia! I just teased, but, goddamn!"

He stopped. "When did he have time to…"

Another mass of orange slammed into the platform, except this time no one fell.

"You!" cried Dempsey gazing at the zombie on the closest ridge. He raised his Model 1887 and fired.

It blew the top off the bouncer and resulted in a massive explosion.

"Suck it! Well, that was simplistic. No real smart connection to that one. Hmph, not too bad."

"This rocks are sharp."

"Quit complaining."

"My arm hurts."

"Shut up."

"I'm hungry."

"Shut the hell up before I shove a stalactite up your ass!"

Nikolai was so surprised that he stopped climbing to stare at the samurai. "Holy crap did I annoy you that much?"

"You've been complaining for the last five minutes!"

"Yeah, but, you never really mentioned it before."

"Listen. I have a nasty stitch in my side, I jumped off a fucking zipline, my shoes are beginning to wear out, and you smell like balls and cheesecake. So I'd really appreciate if you shut the fuck up and get climbing!"

Then Takeo resumed his venture upwards.

Nikolai took a few more seconds to get going. "That was, unexpected."

Yeah, Takeo finally snapped a little. I thought it was time he did so.