Ashley's POV

I woke up to find myself tangled with Spencer in her bed. God I hope Arthur or Paula didn't see us like this. I mean its one thing for her parents to know about us, but it's another for them to actually see it. And I just know now that we are completely screwed if Paula walked in.

I led staring at the sleeping beauty beside me for a little while before I untangled myself slowly and wandered into her bathroom, into the shower. I was just stepping out when she walked into the bathroom and started to strip, pushing me back into the shower and tried to take off my towel.

"What are you doing Spence?" I whispered into her ear as she started kissing my neck.

"Nothing."

"Then stop it."

"Stop what?" she's kissing me harder and I am desperately trying not to moan as she bites on my collar bone.

"Spence, what is someone knocks at your door? I have to get back to my room."

"Not yet." She pushed me up against the wall and I gasped as I felt the cold tile hit my back.

Some one knocked at the door, go figure.

"Hey Spence are you in there?" damn it was Arthur.

"Dad, I'm in the shower. What do you want?" she put her head on my chest.

"Just to tell you guys that breakfast is ready."

"Ok. Well be there in a sec." I kissed her forehead gently and walked out of the shower, dropping my soaked towel as I go.

So here I am, once again alone. Missing Spencer. Her mom has dragged her out to get some groceries. Every time Paula goes out, she takes Spencer. And I'm just starting to miss being alone with my girlfriend. I want to be able to kiss her and not give a damn who's around or who might walk in. mr carlin has caught us a few times, but all he said was 'you two need to be a lot more careful.' And , 'if you want to tell paula then I will be right here.' He rocks!

It's been almost three weeks of living in the Carlin home. Don't get me wrong, I love being so close to her. And I love living with her. But this is getting old. I want my girlfriend! Without her parents around!

Kyla is staying at some motel and we only ever see each other when we go to the family therapy thing that we have to go to. She seems like a nice enough girl, but I don't know why I just don't like her.

Dad.

I miss my dad so much. I saw him a few times while he was ill and it broke my heart each time. It kills me to think that he was on his own when he died. It kills me to think that I couldn't tell him that I loved him one last time.

So I do what I do every time I think too far into my dad lying in a hospital bed, dying.

I reached to the drawer beside my bed and pull out the hard piece of plastic that I have become such good friends with, and pull up the leg on my shorts, ignoring the tan line I now have due to hiding these marks from Spencer.

I find an empty space and start to scratch. Lightly at first, as though I'm getting an annoying itch. Then I put more and more pressure on the piece of plastic, causing the first layer of skin to be pulled back.

I stop for a moment and just look at my thigh that is covered in cuts, scratches and bruises. They are a reminder to myself that when I don't have Spencer, I am still human. They are what keep me from falling off of the edge and doing the one thing that can't be undone. The one thing I want to do most right now. The one place I want to cut most. I stare at my wrist for a little while and bring the plastic up to it and press down.

Shaking my head, I move the plastic back to my leg. I dig deeper with the jagged point of the plastic, finally drawing blood. I keep on scratching though. Wanting more pain, needing more pain. Needing Spencer.

My phone vibrates beside me and brings me out of my thoughts. It's a text from Spencer.

Hey Babe. Shopping with Mom is so boring! But we are done and are on the way home. I can't wait to touch you and kiss you again. 3 XxX S

I smile at the text. Slowly I realise the amount of pain in my leg as I start to feel again.

I clutch onto my leg and almost scream. I can't believe I was so stupid. Again! I rushed into the bathroom and tried to stop the bleeding. It took longer than normal this time but it stopped.

When I got back to my room, I picked up my phone and replied to her.

Alright Cutie. Hope she didn't bore you too much. Hurry home. 3 xXx A

I limped out of my room and wandered downstairs to the kitchen where Arthur was.

"Hey Ash. Are you alright? You're limping."

"Yeah, I stubbed my toe." He laughed at me. "Actually Mr C I was wondering if I could ask like a huge favour of you?"

"Sure Ash. What do you need?"

"Well I want to do something really nice for Spence, and just spend some time with her. Alone."

"So you want me to get Glenn and Clay to go out and you want me to take Paula out?"

"If you wouldn't mind." I looked at the floor and started drawing circles with my feet.

"Of course Ash. I will try my best. I'll tell you what, why don't you just do the easier thing and take Spencer out and stay at a hotel this weekend."

"I would Mr C, but there's the problem of me not having any money."

"I'll take care of it Ashley. But if you go over $350, then when you do get money you will have to pay it back ok?"

"Thanks Mr C. Have I told you, you rock!"

"Maybe once or twice." He smiled at me before pulling me into a hug.

"We're home!"

Before I could stop myself, I ran up to Spencer and almost killed her in the hug I gave her.

"What was that for?" she asked with a grin on her face and her mother just giving me an odd look. But what was odd was that it wasn't disapproving. I guess Mr Chas been talking to her.

"Oh umm… nothing Spence. Just thought you'd like a hug." I smiled and took one of the bags that she was caring.

After we took care of the groceries, we went up to her room. As soon as the door was shut, she slammed me up against it.

"I missed you so much!" she said in between kisses. She's always like this when she's been shopping with her mom. Horny. I really like horny Spencer.

"I missed you too." I pushed her back, onto her bed.

"Ash you are limping."

"I know, I stubbed my toe."

"Aww. Do you want me to kiss it better." She pouted.

"Ok." I sat up and offered her my toe. I would never put anyone's foot in my mouth. It's just weird. But that's what I love about her. She doesn't care.

She kissed my toe, then my foot and slowly started kissing up to my knee. I put a finger under her chin and brought it up to my mouth, kissing her slowly and deeply.

"Better?"

"Much. But," She groaned as she stood up and walked over to her closet and changed into a tank top and track pants. "Sorry Spence. I'm just thinking of you."

"If you were just thinking of me, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. Would we?" she raised her eyebrow at me and got out her note book.

"Come on Spence, its summer! I'm not studying yet."

"Well if you don't want to-,"

"Spence we are going away this weekend."

"Yeah? But you have no money."

"Look, don't worry about that but we are going away to have an amazing dinner and then we are staying in a hotel for a night or two."

"My Dad."

"Yep." She laughed at me and sat on her desk chair.

I went and sat on top of her and just kissed her so passionately I almost passed out.

"I love you Ashley Davies."

"I love you Spencer D… Carlin."

"What?"

"I said, I love you Spencer Carlin."

A/N:: I just want to clear up that ASHLEY WILL STOP HURTING HERSELF SOON!!

Someone has actually told me that they will stop reading if I keep writing that she hurts herself :S but don't worry people… yet XD

So review… I love reading them…

Coashkimm… yeah... the usual… you rock!!

And to everyone else that reviewed… you are awesome! Oh and tell me if you want Kyla to be in it… like stay in LA or not… because well I'm not really sure of the part she can play :S