Mutant Son

Warnings: Slash (not graphic). Crossover.

A.N. I know there's been a lot of talking lately but I find when I write I seem to focus a lot on dialogue. I also realized that twelve chapters in, I have covered only two months. I'll either try to make this story long or speed it up to get through everything. I just felt that the first months of this relationship is very important.

Chapter Twelve: A Hint at Things to Come

Harry woke up slowly to find himself alone in his bed. He rubbed at his eyes. He could've sworn that John had spent the night but he was nowhere to be seen. That was odd. Though he worried, he expected that John needed time alone. They had been spending perhaps too much time together, excluding the day John had tried to avoid him.

Harry showered before wandering downstairs and into the kitchen. It appeared that Harry had missed breakfast. Either that or the house was empty. When Remus came in from the hallway, Harry was somewhat relieved.

"Where is everyone?" Harry asked.

"Dealing with last night's events, I suppose," Remus answered.

"Hermione and Ron too?" Harry responded.

"Yes," Remus paused. "They're at the Burrow right now. It seems that Mr. Weasley was badly wounded last night." At the worried look on his face, Remus quickly continued. "Don't worry, he's fine. Hermione was going to find you but McGonagall told her to leave you."

Harry's heart clenched in guilt. He hadn't even tried to find out whether anyone on their side was hurt or even dead. He was too focused on John. Hadn't he basically ignored the new prophecy? He was being selfish. To his horror, he realized that he had not even checked on his two best friends.

Remus had been watching Harry carefully and again Harry questioned whether Remus was a legilmens because of what he said next. "Don't worry. Hermione and Ron weren't hurt. I think she understood. She was one of the few who saw John in that alley."

Harry nodded only a little relieved. He noticed that Remus was studying him. "Did you want to talk to me?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"I spoke to McGonagall last night," Remus said lightly, eyes still focused on him. Harry squirmed a bit when he remembered what his old professor had walked in on. "I was not aware that you and John had gotten so intimate."

Harry wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about this with Remus. Sure he was a close friend of his parents and Sirius but sometimes Harry wondered if Remus blamed him. Not so much lately, but all through the last year Remus had acted differently towards him. But then again, while Hermione was great to talk to, she had about the same experience in relationships as he. Could Remus help him? He was after all, as Harry thought before, very close to his family.

Harry sighed. He wasn't sure what to say. "Do we have to do this here? People have a nasty habit of walking in on my conversations." Harry looked slightly accusingly towards Remus who offered a small smile.

"I believe the drawing room has locks."

They headed to the room, neither speaking. Closing the door behind them, Remus both locked the door and cast a silencing charm. That's how it was supposed to be done, Harry thought. Remus sat and sent him a look which clearly said 'So?'

Harry settled into a chair for what promised to be an embarrassing conversation. He would keep it short. "I don't know if intimate is the right word. I mean, we've done…stuff, but not as much as I think you're thinking."

Remus looked mildly relieved. Harry hadn't planned on going on much further but he really needed someone to talk to. He didn't think he could manage this complicated relationship if he didn't. Harry didn't know how John managed it. Despite Harry's mild jealousy of one Bobby Drake (the guy on the pedestal that Harry feared he was constantly being compared to), he promised himself that he would make sure that John had access to Hedwig.

Finally, Harry sighed. "I don't know what to do Moony."

Remus looked at Harry carefully. For a moment he saw that thirteen year old boy trying to find a happy enough memory to power his Patronus. More importantly, Remus remembered the way Harry looked slightly pained every time he awoke after passing out. Harry had told him that he heard his parents' deaths. The only memory he had of them. Remus's heart went out to him then and it went out to him now. He cursed the world for letting this happen to James' son.

How could a boy with no experience with a loving family successfully navigate such a turbulent relationship? And Remus knew that this relationship was bound to be turbulent, just as much as it promised to be intense. Remus knew Harry would have been happier, or at least more content in a relationship with Ginny. But sometimes the heart would rather deal with pain than settle.

Finally Remus responded. "I cannot pretend to even know what you are going through. I don't know if I can help you."

Harry looked at Remus so intensely that he knew he had to do something. "How do you feel, Harry? I mean what comes to mind when you think of him? Honestly."

He shrugged. "I don't know." He paused to think, he looked down at his shoes. "I know that I was scared last night, and not even of the worst part. I didn't even care that John killed someone. I was scared when John broke down just a little bit. I was scared to comfort him. I worried that I'd fail and lose him."

Remus looked at him sadly. "This is getting serious, Harry." In that moment, Harry looked like just a scared kid. Remus could not remember ever seeing him that way. Though he viewed Harry as Harry and not the Chosen One, they boy he had gotten to know was almost always unfailingly strong.

"I can't do it," Harry said. "If this is getting serious…I don't know. I don't know if I can…what if I'm incapable of a relationship? Besides, John isn't interested in one. This is just physical."

Remus winced. "Harry, I think it has proven to be beyond just physical. On both sides."

"Okay, friends with benefits or something."

"Harry," Remus sighed. "I can't support this relationship. I will be here to help you along but I can only see this ending in pain."

"I know," Harry said. Remus patted Harry on the knee before getting up to leave. It seemed as if the conversation was over. Harry watched Remus exit the room before he mumbled, "But I don't think I care."

John was in deep shit. This had gotten serious too fast. John had woken up that morning feeling drained. He had looked at Harry lying beside him, face relaxed in sleep, and had smiled. Then that smile faltered. John realized that he wasn't getting in too deep, he already was. And he panicked. He practically jumped out of bed and ran to his own room, heart beating a mile a minute. He paced back and forth.

Where was Bobby when he needed him? All of his coping mechanisms were gone. There was no alcohol in the house, at least that which he could find. Bobby wasn't here to spar with him. Or in their case throw ice and fire at each other until one of them practically passed out. And there was no meaningless sex. Anything he did with Harry these days had some sort of meaning. This was why he couldn't handle relationships. He was still a worthless piece of trash with a fancy name.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the small desk in his room which he sometimes used to write. He sat down, hand in his hair.

Drake, he wrote. He didn't know whether he would actually send this. Harry had offered him his owl, which was apparently the way wizards sent mail so maybe he would.

I think I'm going insane. If you were here you'd be laughing your ass off. Dude, you have no idea what I've gotten myself into. I know right now you're imagining some sort of horrible crime I've committed, the kind of trouble everyone would expect from me. But that's not it. There's this guy (I know you're laughing or at least smiling infuriatingly. Stop or I'll burn something near and dear to you when I get back). At first, I was just bored and restless. Then this kid shows up, all sad eyes and messy hair, reeking of a fucked up life. I admit, I started playing with him at first. Then I started to legitimately attempt to seduce him. He didn't take me seriously. I think he may just have you beat in the neurotic inferiority complex category. Yet suddenly he takes control and people just listen. He's apparently supposed to be some sort of savior, or at least that's what some of them treat him like. The kid has two personalities: Harry Potter, boy wonder and 'just Harry' (his words not mine).

It started off just physical, though not as physical as I had hoped (the kid's actually a fucking virgin). And then I started to care and he started to care, though I should have expected that one considering he is the boy wonder and all. It's not about getting off anymore or passing the time. I actually swore loyalty to him in front of a room full of people. They had this truth serum that I let them give me so I can pass some sort of test which would allow me to fight. Imagine my surprise when I let that one slip. And then he wouldn't just let me avoid him. I feel like every time I'm alone with him it gets more serious.

Then, last night, there was a battle. They needed me to put out a fire, but you know me. I go on the offensive, never the defensive. I took out a bunch of Death Eaters (what my father's flunkies call themselves). I killed one. And you know which one I killed? The one who almost got the jump on Harry. I could've just incapacitated him like I did the others but no I killed him (or her). After all that was over I just went kind of numb for a while. Well, after I threw up fantastically in an alley. And you know what Harry, that bastard, does? He comforts me. Offers up his own story. Mine's worse but he's not so sure. But that's his business. I actually leaned into his fucking touch. And then I slept with him in his bed and we didn't even fool around. I just slept there.

I know you. You probably don't think this is a problem. Maybe it's not. For someone like you, though I am not so secretly convinced that you'll leave behind a line of dysfunctional relationships in the next few years. Anyway, this won't end well. I have no idea what I'm doing. And whatever I am doing, I don't want to be. Nothing is forever. No one sticks around forever. You only have yourself. I need to get out of this relationship (that feels so weird to write), but too much of me doesn't want to. Bobby, I really need you right now.

-Johnny

John didn't know why he wrote the diminutive of his name but it just felt right. He needed to send this. He wandered out of his room and headed towards Harry's. The snowy owl had been there last night. Hopefully she still was. John knocked lightly on Harry's door. When there was no answer he slipped into the room. The snowy owl, Hedwig he thought, sat in her cage looking at him. John secretly found it creepy. Nevertheless, he was desperate.

"Hey," he said softly to the bird, partially offering the letter. "Can you deliver a letter?" Hedwig continued to stare at him. John took that as a yes. "How do I do this?" The bird suddenly hopped out of her cage and grabbed the letter. John jumped back instinctively.

The bird looked at him, as if waiting for instructions. "Um...get that to Bobby Drake? He's in Westchester, New York." And then the snowy owl took off. John got out of Harry's room and back into his as quickly as possible.