Thanks again for reviews! :D

Eww, so I started back school today and it's going to be a tough year because I have important exams at the end of it, GCSE's. Unfortunately that means updates will be less frequent because my workload is going to be sky high...not fun!

Anyhows thought I'd update now because Im going to a mates house, party time! :D

Chapter 12

She was trying to concentrate, she really was, but all she had managed to scribble onto her page was a sort-of diagram illustrating her 'journey', as such, with Emily.

Naomi sat in the empty common room, well empty bar three or four students huddled around books in the far corner of the room. She twisted her pen between her fingers, biting the end as she looked over all she had managed to doodle onto her page that was by now supposed to be filled with English coursework on Shakespeare's 'Hamlet'. It somewhat resembled a mind map she supposed.

Under the date and title was a small heart that had been traced over and over again until the dark blue ink was almost back and there was an indentation of it on the reverse side of the page.

Underneath that was written 'Naomi + Emily' and Naomi wondered when she had become so amazingly soft and sappy.

There was an arrow protruding from Emily's name pointing to where she had written 'Refusal of the truth' because Emily had denied on several occasions being gay when she quite so clearly was, and at least now she was partially 'outed'.

A couple of lines below that she had scribbled 'Hidden Feelings' because she now admitted that she had locked any sort of feeling for Emily away and pretended feelings with Cook and other guys in the hope they might disappear. They hadn't. Instead they had been pushing against her walls, as they had the first time their lips met when they were twelve, and had forced a small crack in her charade and wiggled their way out into the open.

Further down the page was 'awkward silences' which could be cut with a knife when she and Emily had nothing more to say and the tension sunk in. Naomi wished briefly that she knew a way to fix it because she was beginning to enjoy spending time with Emily.

Around the words, the odd smiley face or flower or 3D box was doodled and as she finished outlining the edges of the latest addition to the page-a heart with a cupid's arrow shot through it-she scrunched the paper up and threw it into the bin on her left. She was Naomi fucking Campbell and she didn't get all soppy and girly when it came to relationships. She wasn't the kind of girl who doodles hearts on her fucking coursework.

Oh Emily, look what you've done to me.

She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, her face falling to a frown as she thought of ways to start writing her actual English coursework, but to no avail. Instead she felt a grin grow on her face as the bell rang and she raised her eyes to see Emily enter the common room and make her way over to her.

"So I've got an absolute shit-load of Spanish work to get finished and I was wondering if you could give me a hand?" she asked as she planted herself on the empty chair beside Naomi.

"Because you like giving hand don't you Naomi?" Katie laughed as she passed.

Naomi winced. Katie was being decent, at a stretch Naomi would say she was kind of great about the whole thing...apart from when she passed comments like that, because Naomi wasn't sure if she was ready for that kind of thing. Wasn't sure if she could laugh along with the jokes rather than be the subject of them.

"Yeah I can help out," she replied as she watched Emily pull books and pens and paper from her bag.

They sat in adoringly close proximity to each other, heads bent over books so close that Naomi could probably count the non-existent freckles on Emily's porcelain skin. They laughed and joked and Naomi had never felt such a rush around anyone other than her.

She began doodling on her page again, unconsciously, as she watched Emily writing every so often. She pointed out the odd mistake Emily made but, apart from one or two bloopers, the red-heads Spanish was beginning to improve. She shot Emily a congratulatory smile when they finished, packing up her things and allowing her eyes to fall the page she had once again doodled all over.

And what she had subconsciously written made her heart freeze as Cook, who had been sitting on the sofa's with JJ and Effy, got to his feet and headed to the door announcing, "I'm off for a smoke, you coming Naomi babe? You soon will be...".

Shit.

She had forgotten to tell Cook to downplay their relationship now that something was starting with Emily. Emily who was now frozen by her side, eyes wide with shock, hand frozen halfway between her bag and her book.

"I thought you were trying for me," she whispered quietly, "Haven't you broken it off with him yet?"

Hurt was laced through her voice, and it was too much for Naomi to handle right now. Between what was scribbled on the page and what Cook had shouted and Emily's reaction it felt as if everything was closing in on her and she had to get out of here. She saw Emily glance at her from the corner of her eye, but her focus remained on the small words printed on the page.

She snatched her bag from the floor, forgetting completely about the page lying on the table as she made her way out of the common room. She felt like an idiot, she was walking away from Emily again and she hated herself for it but this was a bit much, what she was feeling was a bit too much right now.

Emily sat shell shocked at how the afternoon had played out. Shocked at how she was having so much fun with Naomi one minute, to feeling like their relationship, if that's what you would call it, was crashing down round her ankles once again.

Shocked at how something had made Naomi freeze rigid, even before Cook had called over to her, and that only made her freeze, if possible, even more. Emily had never seen someone get so worked up about something so quickly.

Shocked at how Naomi could possibly promise to try for her and not even think about dumping Cook, despite it being nearly a week since they had sorted this. A week of spending amazing time with her and then probably running of and shagging Cook somewhere. It was kind of sickening her.

And with that she slammed the last of her books closed, rising to her feet as she crammed them into her bag, picking up any pens and sheets of paper from the table and shoving them in too as she stormed out of the common room in a true Katie-like fashion.

Naomi didn't return to college that afternoon, so Emily buried herself in work once again, feeling pleased that the pile of unfinished work smothering her was beginning to decrease. Every so often her mind flicked to the blonde and Emily realised that she was probably out of order to be getting so worked up about this; she and Naomi weren't a couple, Naomi and Cook were. She wanted to try for something with Naomi and Naomi promised to try for her too, but Naomi was still with Cook and, even though she wasn't 'doing' anything as such with Naomi apart from the three kisses they had shared in the past, Emily just didn't want Cook in the equation at all. It was possibly unreasonable, asking Naomi to break up with Cook, risk breaking his heart; because Cook was with Naomi and he just didn't look like a 'one girl' kind of guy so there must have been something about the blonde that was keeping him with her. She didn't blame him, Naomi was very beautiful, and funny and witty and genuine when she wanted to be and...

Shut up NOW Emily!

Basically she just couldn't stand the thought of his hands on Naomi they way she dreamed her could be. Couldn't stand the thought that the blonde still belonged to someone else.

Shaking the thoughts away, she tried to throw herself back into her work but found her eyes watching the clock tick the day away and reasoned that she had did enough work for one day as she tidied her books into her bag and left the college.

Katie wasn't coming home that night, leaving Emily to cover for her while she was no doubt shagging some air head footballer, Danny she thought his name was. She didn't mind, she enjoyed the peacefulness of the quiet house and Katie was still acting slightly awkwardly about her being gay although things were not as bad at home as she had expected as she left Naomi's last week.

Aw shit.

Now her mind was on Naomi again. The blonde was like the plague, can't fucking get rid of it and wanting to avoid it at all costs. But Emily was aware that the girl still infatuated her mind, no matter how pissed at her she was and eventually gave up and lay on her bed with thoughts of the blonde driving her crazy. She sighed and placed her palms against her eyes, trying to clear her head.

No chance of that happening Emzy.

Naomi stood outside the college accommodation, her eyes glued to the window where she knew Cook's room was. She knew she had to end this charade now before more damage was done between herself and Emily, between herself and Cook as well. Because she knew Cook, and she knew him well and she feared that he might get 'too attached' to theidea of them being together. They were supposed to be in love, 'and first love is the hardest to get over' she thought to herself. She would know; she was still infatuated with anything red.

Whoa! Where did that come from?

Pushing all thoughts from her mind she pushed open the glass double door and climbed the staircase and found herself outside Cook's room far quicker than she expected. She realised her hand was shaking as she raised it to knock on the door.

Knock knock.

Cook answered almost immediately, boxers poking out above his trousers and no t-shirt to hide is many tattoos.

"Naomikins, what a pleasant surprise!"

He grinned at her before ushering her inside.

The room was slightly hazy with smoke and smelled like weed and alcohol. She sat gingerly at the edge of his bed as she shuffled through piles of clothes scattered about the floor. Eventually he pulled a clean looking red polo shirt over his head, popping the collar and spraying under his arms with 'man-smell' which was basically a can of Lynx deodorant. When he was finished he turned to face her.

"So Blondie, babe, what can I diddly do for yah?"

Naomi swallowed, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"We have to stop this Cook."

His face fell a fraction.

"Stop what?"

"This," she guestured between them with her hands, "This pretending to love eachother."

"But I do love you Naomikins, probably a little differently from the loving that goes on in that bed," he added with a wink and Naomi jumped to her feet, "but it's loving all the same."

"Please Cook," Naomi begged, desperation evident in her choked voice.

"Aw but babe, we haven't even shagged yet," he laughed thrusting his hips a little for effect.

"You're my best friend," she replied simply, walking to the door so that she didn't have to see his face contort to a frown. "See you later, yeah?"

With one hand on the door handle, she felt Cook wrap his arms around her abdomen and hug her from behind.

"It's about time you let Little Red into your heart Blondie," he mumbled quietly, and Naomi had to strain her ears to hear him say it but she heart it none the less.

She was about to reply and ask him what the fuck he was talking about but he opened the door and shoved her playfully out, happy-go-lucky mood returning.

"Well your company is always a pleasure Naoms, but I'm waiting for someone with a little more satisfaction," he laughed grabbing his crotch as he did so. Naomi rolled her eyes as she left, giving him a small kiss on the cheek beforehand.

The week passed with no real excitement and Emily found herself hoping beyond hope that the weekend didn't follow suit. She stood, feeling a lot like a spare wheel, with Katie who was sucking the face off her new boyfriend, Danny, who played for Bristol Rover's reserves and drove a horrible yellow convertable. He was a bit of a tit and Emily didn't know what Katie saw in him.

"Emily! EMILY!"

She glanced up to the top of the queue and saw Thomas shouting and waving to her excitedly. She prodded Katie hard in the back as she shimmied through the dense crowd, hearing Katie sigh and follow behind her.

"Friends always get in for free," Thomas grinned at them, before his eyes shifted to somewhere over Emily's shoulder.

"Freddie, JJ, Effy! Come, friends don't pay!"

Freddie, Jay and Effy managed to scramble through the multitude of waiting bodies, and Emily heard a few people complaining as they approached.

Thomas was practically bouncing up and down with excitement.

"This is going to be so great! You are all here, Pandora is coming and Cook and Naomi are already inside."

Emily felt her stomach jump slightly but suddenly found herself eager to get inside the club.

"Come on then," she tried to call nonchalantly pulling Katie in behind her as she entered into the dark club.

It was quite a decent club, dark walls and sofas scattered about. There were booths and a bar and a wide dance floor illuminated by bright spotlights flashing all over. Emily headed straight for a large, comfy looking leather sofa, while Katie went to the bar for drinks. She plopped herself down and was joined by JJ and Freddie. Thomas had disappeared into the throng of dancers, no doubt preparing to play his set and Effy could be seen leaving the bar heading towards them carrying several rounds of shots.

She sat and pushed three shots towards each person, except JJ who didn't drink because of his meds, leaving three in front of Katie's empty seat. She hadn't returned from the bar yet, no doubt become distracted by Danny or some other bloke.

Effy mumbled a quite "Cheers" holding her shot glass up before downing it.

Emily followed suit, downing one shot after another, welcoming the burning sensation in her throat but still wincing slightly.

"Christ Ems, slow down," Katie shouted over the din of music as she returned with two double vodka and coke's.

Emily didn't listen and had soon finished the drink as well.

She was happy sitting on the sofa, until Katie and Danny were practically having sex beside her, something she really didn't want to see, so she removed herself from the comfort of the leather couch and joined Effy on the dance floor.

She soon spotted a mass of blonde hair and saw Naomi bouncing around with Cook, laughing and dancing. She felt a spit of envy rise in her stomach and figured the two couldn't possibly have broken up and still get on like best mates. Her fears were confirmed as Cook stuck his tongue out at her and she quickly leaned in and kissed him. It was brief but it made Emily's stomach boil over with anger. She wasn't trying.

Effy nudged her, and she averted her attention to the brunette who had just placed a pill in her mouth. She stuck her tongue out, revealing the pill resting on the end of it and indicated to Emily with her hands. Emily merely looked at her confused until Effy pulled her forwards and latched her mouth onto hers. She felt the brunettes tongue slip into her mouth and transfer the pill to her and she suddenly understood what Effy had meant.

She smiled against the brunette's lips as she swallowed the pill and almost immediately felt it start to kick in. Out of the corner of her eye she was Naomi watching them, a strange expression on her face. Instinctively, she tried to push Effy off, but she only felt Effy's arms encircle her waist and pull her closer. She pushed harder as Effy's hands settled on her ass until her lips left hers and she glared angrily into the girls blue eyes.

"What the fuck Effy," she screamed over the music.

"She loves you too," Effy replied simply, cocking her head slightly in the direction of Naomi's retreating back.

She couldn't stand it, couldn't stand seeing Emily's lips on another's. On fucking Effy's! Naomi felt her fists shake with anger and shock as she rested her head against the cool wall outside the club. She understood Emily's reaction to Cook better now that she had experienced it herself. It felt shit imagining her with someone else, totally shit.

The back door flew open as red hair emerged. Naomi busied herself lighting a fag, offering it silently to Emily who was also trying to look nonchalant.

"Bit hot in there," she said after returning the cigarette, fanning herself with a hand.

Naomi silently nodded her head in reply. She was trying to think of a sentence to say to Emily but the large mixture of drugs and alcohol floating around inside her was making a coherent sentence hard to come by.

"So you and Cook..." Emily began unsteadily.

"So you and Effy," she shot back with a frown.

"Have you bro-"

"What do you want Emily?" Naomi cut her off. Didn't want to go over this right now. Didn't want to make her hazy mind think of an excuse for kissing Cook if she told Emily they had broken up. Didn't want to admit Cook was only passing her a pill if Emily was going around kissing Effy.

"I want the truth Naomi," she stated firmly, if not a little drunkenly.

"The truth?" Naomi replied, feeling unjustified anger building in her as she thought back on Effy and Emily, "The fucking truth is, Emily, that you scare the fucking shit clean out of me. That I don't want to be as completely obsessed with you as I am but I can't help it and I'm fucking scared."

The words were spilling out of her now, and she couldn't stop it. Some say that alcohol is the greatest teller of truth, and Naomi was going all out now.

"So I pretended to have some fling with Cook to make you stay away, make these feelings disappear. He was only too happy to help, he's my best fucking friend but..."

This time Emily cut her off.

"You pretended? You weren't actually seeing him?"

Her voice was hard but her eyes were hurt. Naomi could read her eyes. They were now hinting building anger.

Shit.

"Well fuck you Naomi," and the door slammed shut, leaving Naomi alone in the stillness.

She cried. She went into the club toilets and she cried. Locked herself in a cubicle and didn't care about the masses or girls practically pissing their pants as they waited for one less free toilet. Didn't care if anyone heard her either. She just let it all out.

After feeling as though she had cried every ounce of bodily fluid she possessed from her system, she unlocked the door and staggered slightly towards the mirrors. She studied her appearance closely. She looked a mess.

Her hair was no longer straight, waving slightly, probably from all the dancing. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, her make-up become patchy and dark trails of mascara ran from her eyes down her cheeks. She sighed as she splashed water on her face, clearing the messy make-up off and carefully reapplying it as she unloaded it from her bag.

She looked slightly better, but she still felt like a bag of crap.

She had been lied to and Naomi was a coward. She had pushed her away in an attempt to save her own heart from aching but had really made a mess of everything as Emily winced at every painful thump of her own heart against her ribs. She felt pathetic and broken by a girl she had shared next to nothing with. But there had always been something about Naomi that had her immediate attention and that, mixed with Naomi's confession of feelings and Effy's statement of "She loves you too," was causing her head to swim as she left the bathroom.

She saw Cook sat in the hallway outside the loo's, blood dribbling from his nose and a bruise forming under his left eye. Freddie was crouched over him, examining his injuries while JJ looked on helplessly.

"Cook, you alright mate?" Freddie asked, concerned.

Cook merely laughed his annoying laugh, rolling his head from side to side. He spotted her standing frozen in the hall.

"Emilio man!" he called.

She ducked her head in an attempt to avoid his attention as she scooted past but her called out her her.

"Emily she loves you, you know."

She froze again, turning to face Cook again.

"What?"

"She loves you. But she can't stand it. Can't stand the love she feels so she pretended she was fucking me instead."

She flinched at how crude he was being but he didn't notice. Instead he let out a bitter laugh.

"She used me and I let her...but she doesn't want me anymore..."

He rested his head on the wall behind him and became silent and Emily left the club, now with Cook's drunken admission, Naomi's feeling's and Effy's statement swirling around in her head and making her feel sick, along with the vast amounts of alcohol and pills currently moving through her system. She realised she was a lot drunker than she first thought as she staggered into the night.

She paused as she walked home and threw up in the gutter, hoping that tonight's events leave her as well as the contents in her stomach. Hoping but not believing. Just knowing that she is going to have a massive hangover in the morning.

Thoughts please guys, you know I love them! :D

Have a great weekend!