Christian P.O.V.

The week dragged and presented itself as one unpleasant shit. It was already Thursday and the flux of paparazzi harassing me has not ceased one bit; ever since the public exposition of those images of me and the stripper they didn't give up to pursue my every move and honestly it's getting kind of annoying.

I've always fought the paparazzi and this public attention, until now I've been pretty successful actually. After all these years of being a discreet and extremely private person, they kind of gave up following my every move which make things easier for Taylor to manage. This week though, everything got out of control and I absolute hate that.

Every since Tuesday I'm being persecute by a sea of people that observe me like hawks, waiting for me to display some kind of insight on my personal life that they could grab and explore to their own proposes. Obviously I've kept my profile low, I don't talk to them, I don't do anything out of the ordinary and most importantly I don't go out with any women which is something that apparently upsets my followers very much.

My week just became instantly sour and everything went downhill for me, I absolutely and utterly hate this kind of things with all fibers of my being. Not only am I being pursue by a group of crazy, overbearing individuals that crave for any slip I may have, the notion that all of this is happening because of my lack of discernment towards the stripper it's like acid being poured on my skin.

Everything just seems out of hand, I can't manage to not have all under my meticulous control. Besides this party I'm attending to is tomorrow and I have a feeling it's not going down so well like it's suppose. I vow to myself that I'd never see the stripper again, that I'd never laid eyes on her again or even think about her. I even stop saying her name in a desperate attempt to forget all about it, her files were instantly destroyed the same day those images went public.

I have to get her out of my head, look at what she did to you Grey. This is all because of her, because of something that she manage to put on me and makes me act like a stupid, careless and ignorant teenager that thinks more with his dick then his brain.

After a close analyses' about all, I've come to the conclusion it must be it, I must want to fuck her really bad. That's the only reason I'd would act like this, I don't even know her and even if I did I can't feel something for somebody romantically… I just don't have a heart, that would be impossible so the only logical conclusion is that I'm attracted to her because of her resemble to the crack whore and my regular subs.

It's my own fault that things got this out of control though, she's the reason but I'm the guilty one. It's just that when I was around her I lost all will power, all dominance. I even tried to have something with her in a fucking parking lot, a damn parking lot! And with a sub, I'm in a contractual relation already, I'm monogamous and that's how I'm comfortable.

Or so I thought until I saw her… Stop thinking about her Grey, can't you even control you own damn head? I chastise myself and instantly become mad; I throw something that's on my hand's reach against the wall and its shatters into pieces.

I sigh heavily and deeply, I don't know what to do with myself and tomorrow I'm presenting someone to my family. I've never done that before, that's going to be a hell of a thing to do and even better to watch from the outside.

XXXX

I had to fight a fucking barrier of human bodies with flashing cameras to get to my car, knowing that some people crave this kind of attention it's actually disturbing. The car ride was silent and quickly, Taylor went through some secondary roads he found earlier this week, due to the need of keep those stalkers out of our track.

Once I got to the parking lot a float of memories invade me and I'm frizzed to the spot. I stare vaguely to the place where I stopped the stripper and the car I pinned her against. Something in my chest starts to ache and it's a foreign feeling, I've never felt it and I can't quite place it. My skin shivers to the thought of a pair of little porcelain hands rooming through my hair and soft velvet lips brushing against mine. I could almost smell that intoxicating scent and hear that melodic honey voice.

Stop being such a pussy Grey. I shrug when I realize what I was doing; I vow myself to not think about her ever again and especially not reminisce on our little time is raising now and that's the most familiar feeling I have. I've been feeling like this all week now, actually I've been feeling like this all my life and now it just appears to be on its high moment since its all I have inside me.

I rush furiously to the elevator and tap my foot vigorously all the way to my penthouse. I can see Taylor is eyeing me suspiciously but luckily for him, he abstains himself from any comment. I storm out of the damn thing and close myself in my office. I shout before coming in that I don't want to be disturbed for any reason.

Once inside I can't calm down, I don't even understand what's going on but maybe it's the week's issues that came to surface right now. Everything around me seems to be falling apart, I can't think straight and I can't truly do anything right. A sea of unknown and strange feelings crept into me and I can't seem to take them out.

I'm feeling angry about my lost of control and the events that had taken place, I'm frustrated that nothing had gone according to plan and that I couldn't keep my intentions until the end but the foreigner of it all its that I'm feeling sad and nostalgic for reasons I can't figure out.

It's like I have a void inside me that's eating me up; all my emotions, my forces and desires are being sucked by this whole that I'm not sure how to fix.

I decide to drink a little bit; some whiskey might help me clarify this fog I have inside me. I know I'm fucked up, all my life I understood I wasn't a regular person and that I had special needs; all my life I had to fight my weird feelings and fears but I never felt something like this. Whatever it is that's inside me it's brand new and even though I can't even admitted to myself, it's scaring the shit out of me.

What are you Grey, a little girl? Maybe now you'll want a presence light at night. My conscious seems to be against me as well but I can't help to chuckle at that thought. I begun to feel more humored until I realized a presence light reminded me of the stripper and how I slept so well with her by my side.

I burry my face in my hands, again I'm chastising myself from letting every thought turn to her but I'm feeling so lonely and coward I just succumb to my weakness. I can't fight it anymore, I need something to light me up a bit, even if it's just momentarily, this dark mood it's killing me slowly.

"Taylor." I shout, flinging open my office door. It doesn't take more than a second until Taylor is emerging from his own office and presenting himself in front of me. "I need the surveillance tapes from Monday."

I don't wait for an answer, actually there's not even anything to answer, Taylor just needs to bring them to me and that's all to it. I thought I'd be stronger but I blame my actions partially on the booze and partially on the debility of my state of mind. That reminds me to call Flynn and schedule an appointment, maybe that's all I need, to pour out all that's going through my head.

When Taylor exits the room placing the tapes in front of me I stop for a moment and stare at them intently. Do I really want to relive all of that again, do I want to reaffirm the memories I so desperately try to erase from my mind? No you don't Grey, throw them away or burn them to ashes.

I don't do that though, I put them playing. I focus on the leaving room tape, its silence and lonely in there everything feels disproved of life and strange. I stiffed when I see two figures entering the room holdings hands, involuntarily I smile to that sight: she's just so small next to me. I let go of her near the piano and sat down. I can only see our back in the tapes but I can perceive the stripper hesitance before sitting down as well next to me.

Apparently I had begun playing the piano because all I see it's my hands dragging themselves expertly over the long set of keys. The stripper it's still for a few moments, not moving a hair of her body but after a while she tilts her head to the side and I can see a warm smile spread across her face. She has a surprised and satisfied expression placed upon her and the way she looks at me is of pure admiration.

Seeing her smiling and peaceful like that just subsides the ache I have in my chest and warms me inside, I stay silent and motionless all the way until the end of the song. We exchange a few words before I start to play again and even though I can't hear what we're saying I remember our dialogue perfectly. I begin to play again and the stripper stays quite for a while until she suddenly gets up and walks to the middle of the room. Her smile never leaves her face, it's so bright and tempting it's amazing I didn't notice it back then. She looks like she's reminiscing through some memories and graciously begins to dance filling the room with undeniable security and happiness.

Even though it does really light me a bit seeing her dance like that again it also makes me more frustrated about everything. She left me just like that, after everything I had done for her. She left me like everybody does or will do, she's no different. She left me and she doesn't even know me or my fucked-upess. My heart clench in my chest, you're a sadist and a sour person that's all you gonna get.

Even though I know that's true it still strikes me hard, every warm cozy feeling I was having dissipates itself and again anger is boiling in me. I got so upset I turn the fucking tape off and walk the hell out of my office. I don't want to see anything more; she's just a whore, a stripper that's rude and cold. I should have never brought her here, she turned everything upside down and now I have to deal with it.

XXXX

I hide underneath the kitchen table and put a bench in front of me so that nobody can see me. I'm so very scared, I'm shaking but I'm proud of myself too, I'm a smart boy. I put a bench in front of me to hide myself and even though I'm scared I'm not crying.

I'm a big boy so I have to keep quite and not say a word.

"Come here baby." I flinch to this voice. "Oh, my beautiful whore."

My mommy is grabbed from behind and turned around with force, I want to scream for mommy. If put myself in the corner very tightly mommy can come and hide with me, that way she won't get hurt.

Mommy is pushed down to the floor and all I hear is a loud noise of her body falling, she's with her back to the floor and her head to the side. I try to move my arms for mommy to see me.

"Mommy" I whisper the lowest I can. "Mommy, come here."

Mommy doesn't look at me, she keeps looking distractedly to the side while he unbutton his pants; he drops to his knees, pulls mommy dress up and spread her legs open. Mommy doesn't say anything and I don't know if she's sleeping or not.

"Mommy" I say again, I don't want her to get hurt, she can come in here with me.

I only hear a gasp coming from mommy and a growl from him and next thing, he's over my mommy and I close my eyes tightly so that I don't see anymore.

"Do you like it?" he asks but mommy doesn't answer him so he slaps her very hard.

"Answer me bitch!" he yells and slap mommy again on the face. "Do you like it this way?" he keeps hitting me mommy over and over again, on her tights and face and chest and butt.

"Do you enjoy this?" the slaps become more intense and he takes the belt off his jeans and starts to whip mommy but she still doesn't say anything. "Answer me bitch, do you like it? Uh? Do you? Answer me!"

I cover my ears desperately, answer him mommy, answer him, answer him, mommy please, please mommy answer him, stop this mommy, answer him!

"Answer!" I scream, waking up startled and covered in sweat.

I sighed it was just a nightmare, just one more from the big collection that keeps me company at night. I can't sleep anymore, not after this. All this memories just keep tormenting me, they never leave and I have a feeling they probably never will.

I get up from my bed with my head aching; I guess I have to thank the drinks I had for that. I go to the kitchen for a glass of water, I could drink some wine but seeing the way I'm feeling right now that's probably not the best choice.

I walk almost numbly to the piano, I didn't even realize I was heading there until I'm siting in front of it playing the first notes of Tchaikovsky's Sawn Lake. The music hit me hard and the truth sink in, I couldn't run even if I wanted to. This girl was burned in my mind, maybe the best is just confronting the whole thing, maybe I should talk to her.

No, you can't Grey. She left you. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She did leave me but why, did something happen or did she just have enough of me? Maybe it were those deep oceans that saw through me and saw all my fuck-up past, probably that's it or probably it's nothing and she's simply not interested.

I can't understand what's going on inside my head but my body seems to be acting all independently and without taking notice my song ended and I'm already in another division. I'm siting in my office contemplating the tapes I saw earlier, I try to fight it again but I guess I'm to weak to resist, I put it on and let it roll until I see before my eyes that stunning beauty again dancing in my leaving room.

I can't seem to get enough of that part, she's just so graceful and looks so happy it makes me smile even though I don't want to. I watch it over and over again always until the part where Taylor interrupts us to call me to my office.

I'm seeing her disappointed face when I say nothing and pass through her to attend the call and that leaves me a little sad, I decide to analyze her posture during the time I'm not there. I haven't done it so far because I thought it would be too painful to see her walking away again but I'm determined to watch it until the end, this time.

I gulped for air and stretch myself in my chair, if I going to see this I wanna be perfectly comfortable. I see her confused face looking around, observing everything until suddenly she turns to the stairs. The angle of the security camera doesn't allow me to see past that so I don't see what's happening but apparently she's talking.

Could it be Taylor? No, he told me himself that he went to his office to give her privacy. At first I think I see it all wrong but now I'm certain she's talking to someone, I can see her lips moving and her expression changing from surprise, to anger to sadness? After that all I can see are her shiny eyes and she's taking off.

What the… Stephanie! That bitch, that's the only person who was still there and could be talking to the strip… to Anastasia. I correct myself promptly that's why she left, that bitch said something to her that made her leave.

She didn't leave me because me, she left because others made her. That thought truly changed my mood though that didn't last long. Fury or anger couldn't even begin to describe what I was feeling towards that cunt of a sub I had.

I really didn't control my actions afterwards, I must I broke everything that could possibly be broken in my office until Taylor came rushing inside, probably thinking we were suffering some kind of assault.

"Sir…"

"Call Stephanie, immediately!"

"Sir, it's 3.30 in the morning." Taylor was trying to reasoning with me but I couldn't bear it right now.

"I don't fucking care if its day or night, call her right now!"

XXXX

"Chri… Mr. Grey" A stupid smile spread across her face "Please come in." I had already passed through her before she even invited me.

"Sit down." I didn't, instead I pace around the room like a maniac shooting furious glances towards her, I couldn't stand to even stare at her. "Why are you here at this time? Is it something about tomorrow?"

"There's no tomorrow." I simply stated that, I could kill with just the emotion I had in my voice but I decided it was best if I controlled myself, I didn't want to do something I would regret.

"Oh…" Now I was looking directly at her and I could see the disappointment forming in her face. "Why?"

"What have you told Anastasia?" Again, I kept it short and assertive but my tone leave nothing for doubt, I was demanding an answer.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play coy with me Stephanie."

"I don't know what you're talking about." God, could she be more infuriating? I was in no mood to play around.

"I. Wont. Ask. Again." I deliberately drag my words making every one of them perfectly clear with a lovely note of threatening in the middle.

"I…" Stephanie flinched at my harshness and tears begun to roll down her cheeks, I knew her well enough by now to know she was with deep fear. "You have to understand…"

"Understand what?" My patience was by a thread.

"Christian please…" Stephanie motion forwards but my stare told her to be wise about her moves so she just fell to her knees in a pleading way. "She was no good…"

She was crying inconsolably but I couldn't care less, I needed to know. I don't know if she knows Anastasia name but she clearly understood who I was talking about, she surely couldn't expect that I didn't find out about her little act. She was looking with hope in her eyes, expecting me to end her suffer but I say nothing, I wanted to know and I wouldn't leave this place without an explanation.

"I saw…" between sobs she continues her pleading "I saw you two but she was just acting! Don't you see Christian, see was just using you… it's clear she was just pretending when she did that ridiculous dance!"

I clench my fists tightly, I want to punch something hard but I keep them on my sides.

"How can you not see? She's just an opportunist, we belong to each other Christian!"

"What did you say?"

"I… I just said the truth that you're mine and I'm yours." Her crying had become more hysterical and it was hurting my ears but I needed to hear it all. "You just haven't realized that yet but I know you love me Christian…"

I couldn't stand it anymore, I see it clearly now. This delusional person told Anastasia that we were in some kind of romantic relationship and that's why she took off, she probably thought I was using her. Now everything made sense, her disappearance, her hurt, her slap. I was still mad at what she did but now I knew the reason. I approach the door but was stopped by a crazy Stephanie that holds on to my arms.

"I don't love you." I said pushing her again not so gently. "You should know that, I never did and never will. The contract ends right now, don't ever speak to me again."

"Please, don't leave Christian. Please I can't love any others…"

I walk out the house leaving the door open behind me, Stephanie was on the floor crying and yelling that I loved her and she loved me and we should be together. We shouldn't be anything but she definitely should back off of my life. I couldn't believe I've been so blind I couldn't see that this was the reason behind Anastasia's departure.

And to think I even considerate to take this person to a party, how could I be so blind? I must really be crazy if I truly pondered to take this girl, regardless of the reasons. My judgment was not in its best but now, now that everything makes sense I can think clearly again.

I'm still pissed off about the all think and especially with Taylor for letting something like that pass through but now I could finally sigh of relief. For once, control might still be an option for me.

XXXX

I was in front of the same house that I was just a week ago and the same feeling was hovering me as well. I was very reluctant about being here, I couldn't care less about Ethan Kavanaugh birthday or his party but I did want to see Anastasia. I wasn't even sure she would be here; it was just a deduction I made when Elliot told me a childhood friend of Katherine would be here as well.

I had mixed feelings about seeing her but I couldn't deny I wanted it to and I was dead nervous about it as well. I sucked it up, gulped all the air around me, exhaled heavily and mentally crossed my fingers. I didn't know what I was expecting but I was about to find out.

I enter the house and instantly was greeted by a very joyful Robert and an over-smiley Carolynn. By the noise that I was hearing I could tell that everyone was already in here and it didn't take long until Mia came out of the room she was in to scowl me about my lateness.

I kept a fake but breath-taking smile upon my lips while talking to Carolynn and completely ignored my little sister. It didn't take more than a second for the rest of the guests to be at the hallway looking expectantly at me.

At first I didn't fully understand the look they carried on but quickly it sank in, they were waiting for my "date". I'm sorry to disappoint you, I don't have one, I thought to myself even though I decided to play dumb and pretend I didn't know everyone was here to greet me because of that.

"Well, where should I put this?" I motioned to the gift I had in my hand once I saw no one was going to say anything.

"Oh, of course dear, silly me." Carolynn said taping her forehead and smiling. "Please, let's go in and you can put it in that table."

I complied and followed her lead to the room she was heading to. I left my present in the table that was already full of them and continue to walk like I wasn't noticing the stares. Ethan was siting in a sofa with some friends of his, we cordially greeted each other and I could swear he squeeze my hand with force in propose.

It was only when I was already sited on a chair that Elliot, apparently, could restrained himself anymore and asked the question everyone was dying to know. "Where's your girl, little bro?"

"I have no girl." I state simply meeting his eyes.

"Then who's that woman who appears with you on those photos, son?" Carrick asks me solemnly, I'm already beginning to get annoyed. I thought this was Ethan big day, not mine.

"That's nobody else business." I state again, this time with more authority in my voice.

"But who is she?" Mia insists trying to pull together some puppy eyes, normally I wouldn't resist my little sister pleadings but this is too much personal to me, no way I'd ever tell them.

"I said that's none of your business so just let it be."

I was getting really upset with this inquisition; everyone was looking at me expectantly hoping I'd say something to enlighten them but that was no where near. Katherine joins the room shortly after the questions begun and she looked at me like she wanted to kill me. Ethan was sharing the same look; I couldn't help but wonder what on hell did the Kavanaugh brothers had against me.

"But…" Mia was trying to push the matter forward but luckily Grace stepped in and appealed to the good sense of everyone, asking them to respect my privacy and to leave it alone. She did say "we'll talk about it later" but I decided to ignore it and just be thankful to my mother for her help.

Eventually they back off but I still got stares even from Mr. and Mrs. Kavanaugh, I couldn't dwell on that now. I was looking frenetically for that "childhood friend" of Katherine but she was nowhere to be seen. Even if it wasn't my Anastasia, there simply wasn't any other person on the room that could be that friend.

Your Anastasia? What the fuck Grey, you're becoming softer each day, next thing you know you'll have a vagina in your penis's place. I shrugged those thoughts away even though they were true; she most definitely was not mine. It didn't take more then a couple a minutes until we're all called to the dinning room to begin our meal.

Everything around us is exquisite and I can see they real went all out to give Ethan a great party. We all sit on the places we're indicated and after almost everyone is accommodated I can see there are two chairs that aren't occupied. One of them clearly belonged to my "date" but the other I had no clue and that was intriguing me.

Right after that thought, Katherine enters the room with a very uncomfortable Anastasia. I instantly shift on my sit, she's here. And she looks stunning; I keep getting utterly surprised every time I lay eyes on her; I always think she couldn't be more beautiful and every time my memory has proven it does her no justice.

She was wearing a black laced dress that got mid-thigh; it had some fabric underneath it that kept the whole body to be seen but that only covered her chest all the way till the beginning of her thighs leaving the rest of the skin exposed. It wasn't a very flashing dress or even very provocative, it was rather simple but somehow that only amplified her natural beauty. Her hair was swept to the side in some complicated braid which left her back exposed.

My cock was already twitching in my pants since the moment I saw her but it was when I see her naked back, since the dress didn't cover it, that somehow I went crazy. It was just some back and some skin, but the way it looked like ivory and velvet and that seem the most erotic thing to me at the moment.

She sited right in front of me, deliberately avoiding my gaze. That made me mad, I was trying desperately to meet her beautiful eyes but she didn't seem to notice, or if she did she was evading my efforts rather well.

"Oh, Ana there you are" Carolynn smiled gently turning to her "You disappear for a second dear, this is Christian Grey, the other son of Grace and Carrick" she motion towards me like she was presenting us to each other "Christian this is Anastasia Steele, she's a friend of Katherine but she's like a daughter to us."

Anastasia blushed furiously and smile lightly, stretching her arm over the table to greet me and I smirked. I was going to take every opportunity I was given and this was a nice one taking in consideration I'd be touching her.

"Mr. Grey nice to meet you" She was trying to avoid my gaze again but I squeezed her hand lightly forcing her eyes to meet mine, she blushed even further leaving me to wonder what the extension of that blush in her body.

"Ms. Steele is a pleasure" I made sure to say it in a very seductive way kissing her hand lightly. Again a jolt of electricity went through my whole body and all the memories of us kissing came back in, she must have felt it too because she let go immediately of my hand and adjust herself in her chair.

The rest of the dinner went calmly; it was rather tedious to me and all the time I tried to meet Anastasia's eyes she would look anywhere but me, I was getting really frustrated. I didn't even notice what was being put in my plate; all I wanted was some sign from her.

We were already in dessert when I decided to take my chances, I stretch my leg and touch Anastasia's, she stiffs a bit and changes uncomfortably in her chair. She still doesn't look at me and I try that move one more time. I brush my leg against hers, this time lingering longer. My move didn't last long though, suddenly Anastasia pulled her leg back; I thought she had retrieved it but out of the blue a sharp kick hit me between my tights.

It didn't quite hit me on my dick but it was a close call and it hurt like hell, just the same. I growl extremely loudly in frustration and pain, everyone stopped their meal to look intently at me. I tried to ignore but clearly they wanted to understand what had happened. Anastasia head was down and she kept eating her dessert quietly with a smirk upon her lips. Sneaky little thing.

"I just hit my knee on the table." I state between anger and pain.

They keep looking at me like I've grown two heads, especially Katherine and Ethan but I just ignored them and kept eating what was in front of me. I really had no appetite at this moment but I decide to pretend. I was truly upset about Anastasia action but I was trying to reason it, could I really blame her?

She thought I was just trying to fuck her while having a girlfriend. Was that so far from the truth Grey? My subconscious doesn't seem to get a rest and that upsets me further even though, that's probably right. Sure I didn't have a girlfriend but I did have a sub and I was still trying to have her regardless. I'm truly an awful person, that's not a new Grey.

It's true, I was a jerk but I guess that's just something that's on my DNA. Even though I think I just want to fuck her, I can try to be more cordial. Maybe I should explain everything and apologize for leading her on, yes. I'm sure I can win her like that and then, then we'll see what happens.

I'm still in pain when our meal is over and everyone goes to the grand room but I manage to conceal it rather well. Anastasia still insists in not meeting my eyes and my permanent arousal is getting hard to cover, so I'm thinking about ways I could win her and feel comfortable at the same time.

I had the perfect idea once my eyes brush through the piano that's in the room, I ask Robert if someone plays it and he shakes his head vigorously explaining the instrument is only there to give the room some ambiance. I thought that was actually ridiculous but I abstained myself from any comments and instead asked if I could play something. Everyone in the room nodded excitedly and with their approval I sited on the chair and begun to play my piece.

I played the first music I had played for Anastasia Monday morning, and I could see the hesitation on her body, she was clearly struggling with her own feelings and I smirked, I was getting to her. I continue to play, closing briefly my eyes only to open them again and not find my muse present. I kept playing until the end but it was a mechanical action, neither my mind nor my heart was in there anymore.

When I finished everyone cheered me and asked for a second song but I dodge out of it, explaining I needed to rest for a while since it had been a long day for me. Even though they seem disappointed my decision was respected, I could see Grace had on her face a maternal an proud look just as Carrick and that perk me up a bit. I owe them a lot.

Some girl friends of Ethan came to talk to me, clearly trying to pick me up and seduce me. They were not very subtle at it and I do believe a good seduction has subtlety as a primer rule. I excuse myself politely, I had one thing only focus on my mind: find Anastasia.

I wander around the all damn house and couldn't find her, here the hell is she? I was about to give up when I remember to try outside. As I approach the terrace I see a fragile figure sitting on a bench with her head tilted to the side and her own arms cuddling her due the cold of the night.

I get there silently but she notices me and with wider eyes she gets up and tries to pass through me without saying anything. I grabbed her arm quickly, before she could dodge it.

"I think we need to talk." I'm searching frenetically for her eyes, holding her tight.

"I don't" she hisses her response at me and finally succumbs to my greedy gaze, the only thing I can see in her eyes his resentment though.

"I need to explain something." I don't usually insist things nor do I force myself upon women, but clearly this is no usual situation.

"I don't really care to hear it. Maybe you should go explain things to the people inside, they're the ones who want you explanations." She was trying very hard to get rid of my grip but I wasn't about to let her go.

"And you don't?"

"No. I couldn't care less about anything that concerns you."

"You really should let me explain, everything was a misunderstanding. I don't even have a girlfriend." Anastasia eyes grew wider and surprise spread on her face, though it quickly changed to something else.

"Oh, do you really think I'm that dumb?" Hurt was flicking through her eyelashes.

"No, I don't that's why I'm telling you this." I state getting a bit frustrated, couldn't she just complied with me and hear me out all the way until the end?

"I don't want to hear you lying this bluntly to me. You should had just brought your date with you and not be harassing me like that."

"Didn't you hear, I don't have a fucking date." Exasperation was full on my tone right now but she really wasn't making anything easier for me.

"Well that's too bad for you but you shouldn't bother people who do." There was a hint of pride in her voice but my state of anger and frustration was keeping me from hearing her clearly.

"I told you, that was a misunderstood, I don't have a girl…" Suddenly I replayed her words in my mind again and realization sunk in. "You have a date?"

"Er… Yes." I could tell she hesitated answering me for a couple of seconds and when she did it was almost like she was trying to conceal the fact, her voice was barely a whisper and I could tell her posture changed, at least she wasn't fighting my grasp anymore.

"Who is it?" I was trying to sound impartial and unaffected but hurt simply poured out of my voice and I couldn't help but displayed it in my eyes too.

"I..." She was going to say something, maybe just avoid answer me. Anastasia lowered her gaze like she was in some kind of embarrassment but I couldn't care less, I just wanna know. "Ethan."

Her voice was so low I probably wouldn't be able to hear it if I wasn't so closely expecting her answer, it hit me hard that information. She was here with Ethan, all week I've been dwelling on her, on our little time, on what made her leave. I finally found the reason; I thought with all my heart I could even fix everything and explain the situation to her. All this time she was the only thing in my mind, she was all I could think about and here she is, in a party with a date. A date who isn't me, clearly I've being fooling myself it only took her a week to find somebody else, she didn't even thought about me.

I let go of her as quickly as I can, I could even swear she made some gesture to keep me from abandoning her there but she didn't get to touch me. I turned around without a second glance and walk way furiously. Fuck.

I got back to the leaving room where the conversation was clearly joyful. I joined them even though I had no happy thoughts inside me. I sit at a corner eyeing everyone and drinking two glasses of the strongest brandy on display, like they were shots. I begin on my third observing the guests; they were cheering and chatting loudly. All my surroundings seem to be annoying, I was in my fourth glass, I was really drink it like it was water; Anastasia came into the room minutes later and I was determined to flirt with every girl in the room that wanted my attentions just to prove her that I didn't need her or was affected by her actions. She wasn't my concern and she didn't determinate my happiness so I wanted her to see that, very clearly.

I was setting my plan on motion, focusing on one girl which name I couldn't recall and putting on me my signature smile when all went downhill. The stripper apologized but said she needing it to leave due to something I didn't catch. I was in shock, no not now, you can't leave now that I'm going to show you that you can't play with Christian Grey.

Everyone seem to get a bit sad and tried to pursued her to stay though that was in vain, she said her goodbyes and elegantly walked out of the room. Ethan instantly got up and followed her, explaining he was going to escort her to the door. Obviously you are, maybe you'll try to have your way with her back there.

Everything seem to be played in slow motion before my eyes and I got so angry I walked out of the room as well, it was all back to normal and no one seem to notice my leaving. Alcohol was blurring my vision but I refused to be stopped by it. I was determined to give that stripper my piece of mind; she couldn't do what she wanted and walk away without being affected by the consequences.

When I got to the front door it was opened, they were both outside and I could see they were talking to each other extremely closely. That truly got to my nerves, they were almost kissing. What is he trying to do, rape her? Does he have no notion on how to treat a woman whatsoever? Oh, look who's talking Grey. I shake my head violently to shut up my own thoughts, I might not be the finest example but I was determined to make that right.

I probably shouldn't have shaken my head though because instantly I feel dizziness inside me. I try to fought it and focus on what's in front of me. It takes an extra effort to focus my vision field but when I do I see Ethan taking a step closer to her and placing his hand on her bare back.

Her back that is full of little scars and marks, her ivory back that's like a map to her story and here he is touching them, brushing his fingers through something so small, so intimate. I couldn't even beginning to explain what hit me next; it wasn't just anger that was building inside me. It was a homicidal feeling that rouse and I could have killed him right in that moment.

I refrained myself from doing that though. I didn't kill him but my body was not responding my head anymore and I begin to walk towards them with pure evil in my expression. I could see Anastasia flinch due to my posture, taking a step back. She was saying something but all my blood was rushing in my chest, where my heart was pounding like bomb and that was all I could hear.

I didn't know exactly what I was thinking but I punched Ethan's face hard, so hard his nose begun to bleed uncontrollably. He fell to the floor and growl in pain, the noise was so loud suddenly everyone was outside the house looking at us with complete shock in their faces.

Someone lift up Ethan from the floor and my mother rushed inside the house to help on the curative, all the stares I was given were hurt and disgustful. I couldn't quite place what just happened, it was almost like I had a wave of emotions riding inside me and I couldn't control them. It felt like I was outside my own body, I only remember looking at my own knuckles that were red and with blood of its own.

I looked frenetically for Anastasia; I didn't know what for but I needed to see her.

Maybe to make sure she didn't hate me or maybe just searching for some understanding, everyone entered the house and I was left alone outside or so I thought until I see Anastasia standing strangely at the front door with a shocked look upon her face.

She seemed torn, probably fighting if she should go inside or stay here. My thoughts were a rambling mess but all I could think was, please don't leave me.

I felt even dizzier like I could fall on the floor, I leaned myself against a wall. Stay with me, choose me, don't leave me alone.

"Please don't leave me." I said in an almost inaudible whisper, more to myself. Anastasia didn't move an inch and I decided to close my eyes, I couldn't deal with rejection right now.