Trailer Park Boys In Resident Evil By JediClutz

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, Trailer Park Boys, or any of its characters.

Bubbles checks over every computer console and switch inside the train's control room before staring out the front window with a smile. The tunnel lights raced past as the train sped down the leading tracks. The door behind him slides open and he turns to see Julian step inside with the rum in his right hand. Ricky follows him in. A white bandage was wrapped around his bullet wound.

"Hey Bubbles," said Julian. "How's everything doing?"

"Awesome!" replied Bubbles. "We made it, guys! We fucking made it!" The door seals itself behind Ricky.

"I know and I drink to that," toasted Julian, drinking a large sip of rum.

"Hey, give me some of that," demanded Ricky, beckoning at Julian with one hand. His best friend passes him the bottle and he downs a couple long sips of liquor. He then gives the bottle to Bubbles. "Bubs. Uhh, listen. When we were in the sewers, I overheard you and Claire talking about what happened on my wedding day."

"Ricky, I'm so sorry," apologized Bubbles after drinking a sip. "She fished it right out of me."

"No, no, no, Bubs. It's alright," responded Ricky, casting down the unnecesssry apology. "I just wanna say that day hasn't really bothered me anymore. Lucy and I still have each other and that's what matters the most. We've always been happy together...Well, almost." Bubbles passes the bottle back to Julian.

"Well, even though we never any money off of the dope we brought with us," said Julian, "at least we made it out of the city with our lives." He chugs another large sip. "I wonder if Cory and Trevor ever got out of Raccoon City alive."

"Those two fuck-ups?" retorted Ricky. "They're so dumb that everything they do ends up getting fucked up. Maybe Lahey never survived cause he's a fucking drunk."

"If he got eaten up by zombies, we wouldn't have to deal with that dick anymore," said Bubbles.

"Yeah, but Randy will be sad and lonely without his best friend," Julian remembered the strong friendship between Randy and Jim Lahey. "To tell you the truth, I feel kinda sorry for him."

"Same here," agreed Bubbles.

"And here," Ricky agreed surprisingly, despite his longtime feud with Randy.

"Hey, guys. What do you think everyone back home's gonna think when we tell them about all the shit we went through?" asked Bubbles.

"Who knows?" answered Ricky. "J-Roc's probably gonna make up some really fucked up rap song about our standoff with death."

"Standoff with death," said Bubbles. "That actually sounds kinda cool."

"But whether you guys do, do not mention anything about the viagra incident, especially to Lucy," said Ricky, receiving the bottle of rum from Julian. "The last thing I need is some fucking rumours going around and making her think I was cheating on her."

"Aren't you gonna tell your family about everything else that happened in Raccoon City?" Bubbles asked Ricky.

"You guys can," he replied. "When we get back to Sunnyvale Trailer Park, I'm gonna get drunk as fuck." Ricky gulps down one big shot of rum. "Ahhhh." Feeling relaxed, he slowly walks backwards and, by accident, backs into a big, red emergency stop button. The train begins to slow down at a rapid rate, causing the wheels to screech and spark as they grinded against the tracks. The trio feels a slight jerk as the train eventually came to a complete stop.

"Ricky, what the fuck did you just do?" Julian asked angrily.

"I didn't fucking do anything," retorted Ricky.

"Bullshit!" cursed Bubbles. "You pressed your ass on the emergency stopper!"

"What?" said Ricky. He looks behind himself and spots the button. "Shit!" Suddenly, the door leading out of the control room clicks. Julian heads over to it, but the door would not budge.

"Damn, it's locked!" he said. "We're trapped!" The guys hear a loud knock on the door from the other side.

"Hey, what the fuck is going on in there?" Leon yelled from the lead car's main space.

"Sorry, I backed into the emergency stop button," replied Ricky.

"Leon, can you get off this train?" asked Julian.

"No! All of the doors are locked!" was Leon's answer. "God damn, this is weird!"

"I'll see what I can do with these controls." Before Bubbles could touch anything, the same computer voice from the destroyed lab speaks through the train's speakers.

"Warning. Biohazard detected onboard. Lockdown initiated. This train will detonate. Repeat. This train will detonate."

"Oh fuck! Not again!" shouted Ricky.

"Another self-destruct!" added Bubbles. "This can't be fucking happening. This can't be happening." In the amidst of panic, he starts randomly pushing buttons and flicking switches.

"Bub, what are you doing?" asked Ricky.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" panicked Bubbles. "I'm trying to shut off whatever bomb's on this train!" As the other two survivors panicked, Julian looks up to discover a large hatch. It was sealed shut by a lock and chain. He pulls out his pistol and fires a couple of shots, breaking the lock. The he punches the hatch and it flips open.

"Guys, I've found a way out," said Julian. Ricky turns his attention to Julian and he notices the open hatch above him.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me, Julian," said Ricky.

"It's the only option we have right now," said Julian. "Come on! Lift me up!" Ricky and Bubbles quickly move to each side of him. They crouch down to grab a leg each, then they lift their friend up and through the hole in the ceiling.

Julian climbs onto the roof of the head car. Then he turns around to help Bubbles through the new found escape route.

"Come on, Ricky," encouraged Julian. "We'll pull you up."

"We can't leave the booze behind!" shouted Ricky.

"Ricky, just drop the booze and get your ass up here!" ordered Julian, this time with a angry tone. The sound of a glass bottle smashing on the floor echoes out of the train.

"Fuck!" cussed Ricky as Julian and Bubbles reached into the open hatch to pull him out of the train. "Easy! My leg still hurts!" As soon as the boys were out of the motionless locomotive, they slide off the roof on one side and land onto a rocky ground of packed down stones and pebbles. Ricky cringes in pain as he clutched the adhesive bandage on his wound. "Arrgghh!..Shit! A little too hard on the landing."

"At least we're out," stated Julian.

"I know we're out, but what about the others?" asked Bubbles.

"We're over here!" shouted Claire. Ricky and Julian follow Bubbles as he rushed to the front of the train. She, Leon, Sherry, and Randy emerge from the other side and the band of survivors meet up in front of the lead car.

"How did you guys get out?" Julian asked Leon.

"We managed to find an escape hatch in the floor," he replied. "It was easy for us to crawl through and under the train."

"For you guys it was easy. Damn, that gravel hurts!" said Randy, who's shirtless belly was covered in red, minor scratches.

"What are we fucking standing around her for?" Bubbles wondered aloud. "This train's gonna blow!" The survivors immediately start sprinting up the continuing tunnel, forcing themselves to run as fast as their legs could carry them.

Meanwhile farther down the train, a slithering, red tentacle bursts out of a window. It darts out as if it was trying to reach for something. Then another tentacle grows out of the broken window to tangle around the other. Suddenly, a chain of explosions annihilate the train car by car. A shockwave from the last explosion knocks down the retreating group before a fireball consumes the wreckage. They slowly bring themselves up and turn back to observe the burning train parts and debris.

"Holy shit!" said Ricky.

"So much for our ride," added Claire.

"What the hell are we supposed to do now?" asked Bubbles.

"I guess we just walk from here," replied Leon.

"Aw fuck," cursed Ricky with a sigh of disbelief. "Just don't walk so fast cause my leg's killing me." After a few more seconds of staring at the wreckage, the survivors turn around to continue their journey through the tunnel by foot with Ricky limping behind them.

To Be Continued.