"I'm not anyone, I'm just myself; whatever I am, I am something, and now I'm something you can't help."
― Ray Bradbury, the Martian Chronicles
Marshall's words played on repeat in her head as she walked home and greeted Cake and Lorn. His instructions had been permanently engraved in her mind and she knew what she had to do.
She followed each step like he had said. Sure she had doubts. Hesitations. Moments where she wanted to cry and spill the truth when the looks of disappointment came over Cake and Lorn's faces. Fionna wanted to chase after Cake when she ran off crying and beg her for forgiveness. To cling to Lorn and tell him how much she really would miss them. Tell them how much they meant to her. But she knew if she did any of that, she'd back down. And backing down meant death.
Her hand trembled when she signed the papers to drop out of school. The principle didn't even bat an eye. It shouldn't have been as bad as him giving her a disappointed look, but it was. At least he could have shown sympathy. Given her a reassuring talk. Let her know that things were going to be okay and that school would always be there for her if she changed her mind. But he didn't. He took out the papers and slid them over to her like there was no tomorrow. She scribbled her signature and she felt like part of her soul went with the sheets when the principle stamped them and locked them in a file. She wanted them back. To tear up the papers and tell him it was a big mistake. But it was too late. It was always too late.
The Fire Kingdom greeted her like an old friend. It was difficult to say goodbye. It took her an hour to give up her uniform and say her farewells. LSP gave her a nod of sympathy and told her he was "there for her and junk." Simone gave her a smirk and told her she was always welcome back. Deep down, Fionna knew she didn't really mean that. But if she could, she would take her up on that offer. Fabian said his goodbyes and gave her the smile she needed. He told her her job would always be there for her if or when she needed a job and she wanted to kiss his hands and feet. It took her that long to notice, but she really did love her job. Despite the harassment and revealing uniform, the Fire Kingdom had always been a second home to her for years and her coworkers weren't just coworkers but another family. Walking down the stairs from Fabian's office was lonely. Suddenly, she felt out of place. Amongst the waitresses serving and happy customers, she felt like an outsider. Like she didn't belong. And maybe she honestly didn't.
Fionna's room was stripped of everything she had. The boxes were piled up and the place had never looked so...abandoned. This was the space she called home since she could remember. These walls held her when she needed to be held and gave her the comfort she needed to escape from this world she lived in. The ceiling shielded her from the cruelty of the city and her floors kept her up when she felt downer than down. Suddenly, it wasn't just a room. It was HER room. HER living space. HER breathing memory that plagued the corners and walls giving it the life it had for years. But now, now it wasn't her room. It was just an empty space that used to house someone she used to be. Fionna let her fingers dance across the chipped paint of the walls and her feet scuff the floors. It was hers. No matter who she became or what would become of her. The blonde took out a lipstick, tears in her eyes and wrote on the walls. She wrote until her hand cramped up and she could write no more. But in the end, it'd be worth it. It was always worth it.
The black limo came for her when the sun disappeared over the horizon of the city. It's shiny black windows reflected the young woman Fionna had become. She adjusted her bunny hat in the glass and turned to say goodbye to her apartment and to the club. Cake and Lorn wished to stay inside. She didn't blame them. She betrayed them in every way possible. She didn't deserve a goodbye. She didn't deserve a proper departure. But somewhere in her heart, Fionna ached for the love of her sister and, deep down, adopted brother. She would send them what she could to remind them that she would never forget them. Never stop loving them. Never stop being their "baby sister." She turned to the car and a chauffeur opened the door for her and she slid in. Men piled her boxes into a small truck and the limo pulled away. The lights of the Tree Fort lit up and became a burning green dot in the distance. The image would forever be etched into her memory.
A tall grey skyscraper came into view. She gazed at her new home and she closed her eyes. How could she ever learn to live in a building like that? The chauffeur escorted her out of the limo and up story upon story in an elevator that smelled of leather and pine.
Marshall was there to greet her. He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. She wanted to pull away and find a corner to curl up in a ball in. But as long as someone was watching, she knew better. Oh god, did she know better.
The flat took up the whole top floor of the skyscraper. It smelt of whiskey and cigarettes. The floor was tan, the walls a deep red. Only one man was used as a personal servant. An elderly gentlemen who still remembered how to smile without strain. He wore a tie of red and white because he loved peppermint.
Her room was large and lonely. The walls were dark and the carpet tickled her feet. The bed was dressed with dark blue satin sheets and a door led to her own personal bathroom. The peppermint butler set down her single suitcase beside the boxes with her things that had been brought up by the moving men. She sat on the bed and felt the soft fabric on her exposed legs. The butler smiled and stood in the doorway. "Call if there's anything you would like, miss. Anything at all." Fionna nodded. She imagined her sister walking into her former room right then and finding the words she had written on the wall. 'Here lies the memory of Fionna Venture, beloved sister of Cathleen Venture. Here lies a girl that will forever be the person she was before the fall. No matter what happens to her, she will always be a baby sister. The loyal friend of Bubba Gumpall. The hard working waitress of the Fire Kingdom and most importantly, the blonde girl with the bunny hat that everyone knew and loved. I love you all and don't you ever forget that.' Fionna could see Cake clasping her hands over her mouth and Lorn pulling her into a comforting embrace. "Also, welcome home." The butler smiled and left. She soaked in the bare walls and unwelcoming decor of the room. She rubbed her fingers against the fabric and wondered how she could ever call this place 'home.'