Chapter Eleven – Flying Lessons
When Lily woke up to the sun shining on her face through the curtains of her four poster bed the next morning, she saw that Aurora's bed was already empty with the blankets crumpled near the foot of it. She knew this meant that Quidditch practice must have already started, because there was no other reason why Aurora would be up so early on a Saturday morning.
Lily dawdled while getting ready, taking her time choosing each part of her outfit and retying the laces on her shoes twice. She knew she was being ridiculous and that wasting time was not going to make things better, but her body didn't seem to want to listen. She had to admit to herself that even though she knew it had to be done, she was nervous about apologizing to James.
They'd had more than their fair share of arguments over the years, over everything from excessive noise in the common room to him tormenting other students. All the other times they had fought they had simply let enough time pass that they got over the issue on their own terms or they avoided speaking until James apologized for whatever he had done, even though he usually didn't think that he had done something wrong.
It had been a simple way of dealing with things and it had worked for them. Sure, she had known that James only apologized a lot of the time to get her off his back but hearing him admit that he was at fault out loud had appeased her. The problem was that this time, Lily knew that she was the one who was in the wrong. She didn't like the idea of changing the way their somewhat dysfunctional relationship worked, but she knew she had to be the bigger person. Merlin knew what life would be like if she let James take that role.
When she made her way out to the Quidditch pitch around ten thirty, having dragged her feet across the grounds after picking at her breakfast, the Gryffindor team was still practising. She found a seat in the stands that was at eye level with where they were playing so she could keep an eye on what was going on and read her book at the same time. Unfortunately for her, practise continued until after eleven and by the time James had announced that practice was over, her bottom was sore. In the time it took her to walk down all the stairs to the pitch, most of the Gryffindor players were already making their way to the changing rooms. The only two people left were James and Sirius, who was helping his best friend pack up the bludgers.
When she neared them Lily cleared her throat with a loud cough. The two boys looked up from where they were knelt down, Sirius forcing the bludger to stay in its spot while James locked it up. "I think Rory's getting changed, she should be out in a minute," James said as he snapped the clasp shut, trapping the last bludger in the chest. He returned his attention to the Quidditch equipment, telling Sirius something about Bludger Backbeats.
Cutting off James's talk about the importance of confusing Ravenclaw in their first game. "I actually wanted to talk to you," Lily said loudly to get James to pay attention to her rather than Sirius, who was swinging his beater's bat in a deliberate backhand swing. Her loudness proved effective but she almost instantly regretted it, because both boys turned their heads in her direction so quickly that she was surprised they didn't injure themselves. James was clearly trying to repress a grin and Sirius chuckled as he turned his bat around in his fingers. When he didn't make a move to go, she added, "Alone, if you don't mind Sirius."
"Of course not," he said quickly, using his bat to push himself up from the ground. He winked as he added, "I'll let you two lovebirds be."
James locked up the trunk that held all of the Quidditch balls and stood up. "Sorry about him," he said, jerking his head in the direction Sirius had walked off in. "He doesn't live up to his name very well."
"It's okay," Lily said.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" She ignored the fact that he ran his hand through his hair, which was already a mess. Now that she was spending so much time with him, she had started to wonder if it was a nervous tick rather than him deliberately being obnoxious.
She pressed her lips together before forcing herself to say what she had promised Remus she would the night before. "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted last week." The words felt weird on her tongue. Apologizing to James Potter for getting mad that he broke rules went against what her instincts had always told her, but she felt somewhat relieved to feel like they were on level ground again. "I was out of line."
James seemed surprised by Lily's apology, his hazel eyes widening behind his glasses. To be fair, she didn't think she had ever apologized to him before so it was not entirely unexpected. "Don't worry about it, I was out of bed after hours," James said with a shrug. "You were just doing your job."
It was Lily's turn to think this was strange. He had always had cheeky responses to her getting him in trouble. Maybe he had hoped that if he could get her to laugh she would go back on what she had said, even though it had never worked before. But, then again, he was always around at least one of his friends when that had happened. Could they really have had such a big effect on his personality, though?
She shifted her weight as she looked at him, head tilted to the side. "I know why you did it," she said quietly.
"Oh." His hazel eyes were even wider than they had been a moment earlier. "Who told you?"
"Remus."
James's eyebrows furrowed together. "Remus? But… why?"
She explained what had happened the previous night as quickly as possible, skimming over the part about her mum as fast as she could while maintaining clarity. James sat on the chest that held the Quidditch balls silently, listening to what she was saying intently.
When she finished, it took him a couple minutes before he finally replied. "You can't tell anybody about Remus, Lily."
"I already made him that promise," she said. After a long pause, she asked, "Do you really think that I would ruin his life like that?"
James started shaking his head before she even finished speaking. "No, I don't," he said quickly. "I just… he's one of my best mates, I have to look out for him."
Lily nodded. They stood awkwardly for several seconds in silence. She shoved her hands in her pockets and looked towards the change rooms, before saying. "Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and I wanted to let you know that I know what happened."
"Do you know how you could make it up to me?" he asked, quickly standing up.
Lily did not like the wide grin that had spread across his face. She had seen it several times before and it was usually followed by an over the top prank or an invitation to be his date for the next holiday, Hogsmeade trip, or random Tuesday.
"I'm not going to Hogsmeade with you," Lily said quickly, before he had the chance to ask her.
James looked off put. "I wasn't going to ask you to come to Hogsmeade with me." He sounded almost offended by the suggestion, which was ridiculous considering how many times he had practically insisted she go with him. "I was going to say that you should come flying with me."
That was not what she had been expecting. "I don't fly," she said quickly. "I'm sure you know that, Aurora's been complaining about it for years."
"Oh, I know," James said with a wide grin. "That's why I suggested it."
It was Lily's turn to be confused. "I'm not sure I follow."
"You need to take some risks sometimes. Try things you're not good at or things that scare you… or both." That damn grin of his was back. It was like he was taunting her to say no, when he knew that she couldn't deny her issues with flying, at least not honestly.
"Do you want me to fall off my broom and break my neck?" Lily asked. "I haven't been on a broom since second year, and not on a regular basis since first year."
James didn't seem to be listening. Instead, he walked over to where he had put down his broomstick and gesturing for her to follow. She shook her head and stayed put, which caused him to roll his eyes. "C'mon Lils, don't be such a wimp," he said with a smirk.
She made a face, but refused to let his teasing get to her. He must have realized that she was not going to come after him, so he brought his broom back to where she was standing. He held it out for her momentarily, before pulling it back. "You need to be careful with this."
"James, I'm not going to take your broom. I could barely handle the crappy school brooms, why on Earth would you give me your top of the line Silver Arrow or Comet or whatever it is you have?"
He sighed. "I trust you with it."
"Then you must be barking mad," Lily said, laughing. "The only way I could control that was if Aurora was helping me."
As soon as the words were off of her lips, she realized that it had been the wrong thing to say. James was looking positively thrilled and she was sure she knew why. He didn't say a word, but he was grinning from ear to ear as he unclasped his red Quidditch robes and draped them over the lid of the chest. "If you trust Rory to help you, surely you know I can teach you how to fly."
"No, James," Lily said emphatically.
He jutted his lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. "C'mon, I thought you wanted to make it up to me that you freaked out about me being out of bed after hours."
He had her there. "I did, but I thought that you'd just accept my apology like a normal person. I didn't think you were going to make me fly. Especially not with you."
"I'm not going to try to pull anything." He was starting to sound frustrated with her. "I could have said you should kiss me or date me to make it up to me. I had my chance to be an ass, I wouldn't go through all this hassle to push you off a broom fifty feet in the air."
A small smile played across Lily's lips as she said, "I wouldn't have put it past you last year."
James rolled his eyes. "That was old James. I'm new and improved."
Lily laughed. "And as modest as ever, I see."
He shrugged in reply, not seeming fussed by her assessment. "Come on," he said, offering out his hand to her. "No funny business, I swear. But if you're going to be friends with me and Sirius, you're going to need to at least know the basics of flying."
"What if I don't want to be friends with you?"
She had meant it as a joke, but it was clear that James didn't take it that way. He looked quite hurt as he dropped his hand. He was making his way back to the chest when Lily practically shouted, "It was joking!" to get his attention. "Surely the great prankster James Potter understands jokes."
"Well, it wasn't funny," he said darkly. "I thought we were making progress and—"
"That's why I was joking with you!" Lily snapped. "But I don't think you're one to talk about jokes not being funny, Mr I Hex People for Fun in the Corridors."
"I haven't gotten a single detention for hexing people this year," James snapped back. "I got one for that balloon prank and one for showing up late to class, but that's it this year."
This surprised her. She was so used to him spending at least one night a week in detention that she had just assumed that things hadn't changed this year. "I'm sorry if I offended you, it's just…"
"Old habits die hard, I get it," James said, finishing Lily's sentence for her.
Lily looked down at her feet as he spoke. She didn't want to argue with him, it was more energy than it was worth, but he was right, old habits did die hard. She was used to arguing with him and picking fights over things that he had done before, which was rather obnoxious, now that she thought about it. "If I agree to fly with you for a few minutes will we be even?"
James grinned once more and Lily relaxed. He clearly was trying to stop being such a prat, which she appreciated, so she might as well give in to him a bit. It would make Aurora happy, it would make Remus happy, and it clearly made James happy. She felt strange admitting it, even to herself, but there was a part of her that was happy that he had grown up and that they were getting along better.
James took an extra pair of gloves out and helped her put them on. His hand brushed against hers gently and she suddenly realize how close they were right now. They hardly ever had proper one on one conversations, especially not when they were standing only a foot apart. She knew that she was going to have to get much closer to him than this if she was going to share a broom with him, but even being this close was making her anxious and flustered.
Lily rolled her eyes as James placed his broom on the ground. "It took more effort for you to put it down than it would have taken for you to just give it to me."
"You need to be able to get the broom up," James said, dragging her by the arm until she was in the proper position.
"Why?"
James ran a hand through his windblown hair. "The broom needs to know that you're in control and you need to have confidence that you'll be able to control it once you're in the air."
It surprised her that he had a reasonable answer for her. It surprised her even more when she starting giving the broom commands that he was encouraging, but not in an obnoxious, over the top kind of way. She didn't want to admit it, not even to herself, but James's method of trying to teach her how to fly was making her much less stressed than Professor O'Hare's or even Aurora's had been.
After nearly a minute of yelling at James's broomstick and feeling like an idiot, it finally rose off the grass and into the air. Lily grabbed it with her right hand firmly. "Now what?"
"Mount it," James instructed.
Lily knew that if their friends were around, at least one of them would have started laughing at that instruction or made a comment about how dirty it sounded. As it was, Lily tried to quickly push the thought out of her mind as she swung a leg over the broom. She was starting to think that maybe she was being ridiculous and that this flying thing wasn't going to be so bad after all when James got on the broom behind her.
She had always been aware of some things about James Potter. There were the obvious things, like his glasses and his untameable hair. There had been other things that she learned over the years, some of them good, like his intelligence, and some bad, such as his arrogance. Their odd relationship this year, where they were more than acquaintances but Lily wasn't quite sure if she would consider him a friend yet, had taught her new things about him, such as that his sense of humour wasn't always mean and that he was exceptionally loyal to his friends, to the point that he would risk his life to help one of them.
The first few seconds on a broomstick with him also taught her a lot. She had never been this close to him of her own free will and with the way the breeze was blowing, she was able to learn that his soap or deodorant gave him a wonderful smell. As he slipped his arms by her torso and gripped the broom, she noticed that he had rather nice forearms. She quickly told herself that she was being ridiculous and that she would probably notice this traits about any other boy who wanted to teach her how to fly, but James's breath at her ear made her start second guessing herself.
"You ready?" he asked.
She barely had time to nod in reply when James told her to push off. She did, though rather half-heartedly in an attempt to stay fairly close to the ground. However, it seemed that James had other ideas because he seemed to have kicked off with force from the speed they were rising at. A few stray strands of hair flew in front of her face and Lily was glad that she had chosen to put her hair up this morning.
"We're going too high," she shouted, after making the mistake of looking straight down and realizing just how far up he had taken them.
"What?" James shouted back.
After an internal debate, she gripped the broom even tighter and turned around to face James. "I want to go lower!" she called.
"Then lean forward and tilt the nose of the broom down slightly. Just be careful not to do it too much, or we'll nosedive." James didn't seem at all nervous to be flying so many feet up in the air. On the contrary, he seemed to be having the time of his life. His hair was even messier than normal at this height with the wind blowing all around them, which would have made Lily laugh if she wasn't so focused on not plummeting to the pitch below.
She had turned her head forward once more and could feel her palms starting to sweat. "What If I screw up?" she yelled. She didn't think that she would ever look to James Potter for reassurance but up here, there was nobody else to turn to and nobody else to trust.
"I won't let anything happen to you, Lily." He had spoken the words rather than shouted them, his mouth so close to her that his warm breath brushed across Lily's ear. He seemed so sincere that she couldn't doubt him.
Taking a deep breath, Lily began to inch the nose of the broom downwards and lean her body forward. She was surprised by how well James's broom reacted to the little changes in angle and before she knew it, they were flying downwards and she was shrieking. She had a bit of trouble getting the broom stabilized after pulling out of the dive, which James helped her with.
"Are you alright?" James asked, sounding nervous. "You were squealing rather loudly."
"I'm fine," Lily replied quickly. She was surprised at how unabashed she was at him pointing out her ridiculous reaction to the dive. With more confidence than before, she said, "I want to circle the pitch now."
James helped her steer as they circled the pitch at a leisurely speed twice. Lily hardly noticed that by the end the second lap, James's hands were brushed up against hers. "Do you think you could land properly?" he asked.
She didn't think she could, but she agreed to give it a try anyway. She nearly made them tumble off the broom, which made James laugh, but they both made it back to the ground in one piece. After Lily had calmed down about nearly crashing, she was able to agree with James that her landing would have been spectacularly awful without his help.
Once they had both stopped laughing at her expense, James gave her a lopsided grin and asked, "Do you want to really fly now?"
"We just were flying," Lily said, confused.
James shook his head. "We were flying, sure, but my Mum flies faster than that! I meant do you want to see what it's like to fly with somebody who is comfortable on a broom steering?"
While she had to admit that she could see why some people would think that flying was fun, her nerves were still rather shaken from the end of the last flight and she didn't want to have to sit that close to James again. However, her Gryffindor pride wouldn't let her say no. "Fine."
"Excellent," James said, grinning. "You're in for the ride of your life."
He sat on his broomstick first and she climbed on behind him. She started to wrap her hands around the handle of the broom, but James shook his head. "You're going to want to wrap your arms around my waist for this." Lily hesitated, but did what she was told. "Tighter," James instructed, until she felt like she was giving him a rather awkward hug from the back. "Are you ready?"
She wasn't sure if she was ready. If he did something ridiculous while she was on the broom with him, she was screwed, but there was no way she could back out now. "As ready as I'll ever be to put my life in your hands."
James laughed and kicked off of the ground hard.
Lily could tell the difference in their ascent almost immediately. She had thought that it had been fast the first time, but it was nothing compared to how quickly they made their way up into the air when James was in control. As awkward as the position was, she knew that he had been right to request that she wrap her arms around him tightly. If she hadn't, she would have flown off the back of the broom by now. He was making the broom go much faster than she had, but she knew even then that this wasn't anything like when he was flying full-out.
James started off slowly, as though he was trying to ease her into it. He showed her the proper techniques for speeding up and slowing down, for making sharp turns and for changing altitudes. She was starting to think that maybe flying wasn't so bad, when James shouted over his shoulder, "Are you ready to have some fun?"
"You mean this isn't fun?" Lily asked nervously. It was exhilarating, flying through the air so quickly, but that didn't mean that it wasn't simultaneously terrifying. For once, she was glad that James was so close to her. It was reassuring to know that there was at least one of them knew what they were doing on a broom.
Her feelings of safety soon disappeared as James directed the handle of the broom downwards and took a sharp dive. Lily shrieked and clung onto him even tighter as the ground grew closer and closer with every passing moment. It seemed like they were only seconds away from crashing when James made a sharp turn upwards.
"That wasn't funny!" Lily yelled.
Even though she had spoken almost directly into his ear since she was so close to him, James didn't seem bothered. On the contrary, he started to laugh. "I take it you never want to be a Seeker."
"Ha, ha," Lily said sarcastically.
"Okay, okay, that wasn't funny," James said. He had cocked his head over his shoulder so he was looking at her, the twinkling in his eyes letting her know that while he would outwardly agree with her, he actually found his dive and her screaming quite amusing. "Are you holding on tightly?"
The question made her nervous. "Yes," she said slowly, as she wrapped her arms around his waist even tighter. She didn't like the sound of where this was going and, surely enough, James set off again. He shouted to hold on and she gripped him so tightly she was surprised he could still breathe. It was a good thing she did, because James made the broom roll over in mid-air.
Lily screamed once more and she could hear James laughing. "Bring me back down now," she said firmly.
James must have noticed how tense she was, because he brought the broom back down slowly, not trying to do any more stunts or tricks. He landed them gently and, as soon as her feet were on the ground, Lily let go of James's waist. She hurried off the broom and moved so she was several feet away from it and James, since a part of her worried he would try to convince her that she should fly with him again. "That wasn't funny," she said seriously, looking James in the eye.
"C'mon Lils, it wasn't that bad," he said, placing his broom down and making his way towards her.
She shook her head furiously. "Don't you 'Lils' me." She held a hand out towards him which he made a move to take until he saw how badly she was trembling. "Look, I'm shaking," she said unnecessarily.
When James's hazel eyes met her green ones, he seemed to realize just how serious she was being and how nerve-wracking the flight had been for her. "What happened to your Gryffindor courage?" he asked, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile momentarily. Lily could feel her cheeks growing warm and James quickly apologized. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be teasing you. I didn't think that it would scare you that much."
"Clearly, you were wrong," Lily grumbled.
"I know," James said quickly, "and I promise that next time, I won't try to do anything that extreme. I'll keep it as simple and painless as possible."
Lily furrowed her eyebrows together as she looked up at James. "Who says there's going to be a next time?" she asked.
James grinned and pushed a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear. "Of course you're going to say that now, I just freaked you out. But we both know you're going to have to make up something to me sometime during the year after we get into another stupid argument."
"You've never tried to make it up to me when you were an idiot," Lily pointed out.
James's smile faltered for a moment, but it quickly returned. "Come with me," he said, going back to pick up his broom. "I've got to put all the Quidditch supplies back, but then I'll take you to get a delicious piece of chocolate cake."
"James, dessert isn't for hours."
"I know," he said, grin wider than ever. "I'm going to take you to the kitchens."
Lily knew that, as a Prefect, she should protest. However, she couldn't resist finding out where the kitchens were and how the four boys always managed to get food. "Just this once," she said hesitantly. "But you have to promise me that we won't get caught."
James grinned. "Lily, my dear, a Marauder never gets caught."
"I'm not your dear," she said, shoving her hands in her pockets again.
He shrugged, seeming unbothered by her comment. "Okay, that part might be up for debate, but the second part still stands. You wouldn't believe how many times we've gotten away with things."
Lily raised an eyebrow. "Do I want to know?"
"Probably not," James said after a long pause. "But once you see the kitchens, you'll be begging to know all of my secrets. That I can promise you."