* As always, the recognizable characters are not mine!
Chapter 12
It's Tara's forth day home and Jax hasn't knocked away any of the icy chill between them yet. It's killing him; he hasn't felt this useless since the summer she left him. He knew it was coming and nothing he could do would stop it from happening. This time, the kids and her probation comforted him that at least she couldn't physically leave. He can hear laughter and music from his house as though a party is going on. There is some sort of business van and an older model SUV near his driveway that he doesn't recognize. He frowns and tries to think if he's forgotten anything but comes up empty as he kills the engine. Coming into the kitchen through the garage he finds Tara bent over the kitchen sink with that woman, Sally Jones, washing her hair. The smell of fresh paint instantly assaults his senses. "Oh…Mr. Teller." Sally smiles nervously. "Lizzie, turn the music down." She yells towards the open back sliding door as she shuts the water off. "Mr. Teller is home!"
"It's Jax." He tries to take in the chaos that his house has descended into as Tara reaches for the towel next to the sink and wraps her hair in that way that confuses men. Kids are running wild- all his he thinks, apart from one little boy about Olivia's age.
"Mrs. Teller?" Someone comes to the doorway near the front door in paint overalls. He looks at Jax in awkwardness, as if he's surprised to see a biker in this scenario.
"All finished?" She asks with a smile. Jax looks at her attire splattered with paint as well. She reaches into her purse and pulls out a checkbook. "Can I take a look?" She leads the gentleman down the hallway to obviously check his work before paying him.
The incessant kid's music finally comes to a halt and he's thankful. The kids all make a run for the backyard and suddenly there is nothing but silence as the girl he recognizes from the probation hearing walks towards her mother. His head turns at the sound of the front door closing and Tara entering the kitchen. "Lizzie, this is Jackson Teller, my husband."
"Hi." She reaches her hand to him and he notices it's shaking. "I recognize you from the courthouse."
"Yea, you too." He smiles in that way that usually makes women fawn and Tara rolls her eyes.
Sally is busy sweeping the floor and when Jax finally looks down, he realizes Tara got a haircut. "You cut your hair?" He grins.
"Yea, finally." She replies. "Sally, I'll clean up. You came to me and it was such a lifesaver." Tara reaches for the broom and it's obvious she won't take no for an answer.
"Okay, well we should be getting out of here." Sally looks at her daughter, eyebrows raised in discomfort.
"Let me pick up all the mess they made with the toys." Lizzie looks at the destruction that is their house.
"Don't even worry about that either!" Tara laughs. "I'll take care of everything. Really, I appreciate everything today." She reaches into her jean pocket and hands some cash in Sally's direction.
"Mrs….Doctor…."
"Tara." She corrects with a smile as Lizzie laughs at her mother's embarrassment.
"Tara…you don't have to pay me." Sally turns and gathers her supplies. "Think of it as thanks for everything you have done for my Lizzie…."
"Absolutely not." Tara smiles and throws the cash into Sally's bag. The beautician looks ready to refuse again but Lizzie interrupts that they need to get Ben (whom Jax assumes is the toddler running around with Olivia) home.
The ladies and Ben leave in a flurry. Jax clears his throat. "They didn't have to leave because I'm here."
"They didn't." A fake smiles greets him. "You heard them say they had to get Ben home. Some of the paint is still wet." She shrugs, "I didn't know if you'd be home but I was just going to run the kids somewhere for dinner. Keep them out a bit so it can dry some more."
"So, you hired painters?" He looks her up and down. "Or you painted?" He teases.
"Both." She smiles, leading him to the living room. "Whatcha think?"
"Why didn't you tell me?" He looks around. He could have gotten some prospects in here to get it done for her. All the furniture is in the middle of the room and covered with sheets.
"You're upset?" She asks defensively. What didn't he understand? She needs to feel like this place was hers again. Maybe it never was. Maybe it would never be again. But she needs to feel like she has control over something. And this house, just like her car, reeked of Gemma and Wendy. It makes her skin crawl. "I'm sorry….I…I guess, I should have asked you. It's-" She's turning as she stumbles over her words because arguing with him was the last thing she feels up to at the moment.
"Babe," He grips her arm, forcing her to stop. He can hear the kids giggling outside through the open door. "I don't care that you painted." She won't meet his gaze. "You know that, right?" He releases her arm and tilts her chin up. "It's just that's what prospects are for."
"Oh, that's ok." She laughs nervously. "I just wanted it done all in one day. Easier with the kids and all." The less SAMCRO was involved in her life, the better.
"Makes sense." He agrees. "So, you wanna take care of your hair and get something to eat?"
"Sounds like a plan." She shakes her head. "The kids are a mess. Can you wipe their face and hands at least? Make us a seem a little presentable?" She teases as she walks down the hallway.
He checks on the kids quickly as her hairdryer starts. Curiosity gets the best of him and he walks down the hallway, realizing that was freshly painted too. He opens the bedroom doors to find them done as well and all windows open to ventilate. She must have paid a fortune. It all looked great though. Thomas' bedroom was surprisingly neutral compared to Abel's light blue walls. He stops in the bathroom doorway and takes in the sight of her blow drying her hair. He smiles at the natural sight. He waits for her to stop the dryer and work her brush and hands through her hair, testing it out. "You look beautiful."
She flushes instantly. "Thank you. I almost feel like me." She decides it needs to be dried a bit more, both out of necessity and to stop him from talking to her.
Later, over stunted silence at Chick Fil A, she tells him that she plans to have Thomas and Abel share a room leaving Olivia to take the other room. Obviously, she would have to make that happen furniture wise but she seemed to expect him to disagree with it. It troubles him that she would expect that. Each kid having their own space only meant good things for the two of them, right? It would have bugged him to share a room with his little brother as a kid; but there was a bigger age gap between them than there is between his boys.
She's been home six days and Gemma has made it a point to stop by every freaking morning, like clockwork using her key as though it's her house. This morning finds Jax already gone and Tara's already gotten the kids up, fed, and ready to head out the door. "I need to bring my ride in." Tara informs Gemma as she places her empty coffee mug into the sink. "It needs a tune-up and full detail." She and the kids had cleaned it a few days ago but it still reeked of Gemma and Wendy funk plus cigarettes to Tara.
"Sorry." Gemma shrugs with a smirk. "We're swamped."
"Really?" Tara matches her mother-in-law's smirk. "How convenient." There was a time when no one at that shop would have the balls to refuse Jackson Teller's old lady, not even Gemma Teller- Morrow.
"I'll check the schedule." The shop secretary offers with a smile softening as Thomas walks in.
"You do that." Tara picks Thomas up, wheels turning in her busy mind. "Abel! Olivia. Time to go!" She yells down the hallway. Rolling her eyes towards the kitchen, she mumbles, "Be sure to lock up behind yourself." She takes a fraction of her aggression out on the door with a slam.
After dropping Abel off at school, Tara slows on the main highway in Lodi. She remembers seeing some sort of small shop near here, where they stopped and ate the night she got out. True to her memory, just ahead on the left is a small, mom and pop type shop. She smiles to herself, just what she needs. They don't even look busy. The front desk is empty and there is only one seat in the waiting room, but she's been around TM enough to know this isn't unusual. Hiking Olivia up higher on her hip and securing Thomas' hand in hers, she walks to the threshold to the garage. "Excuse me?" She asks politely.
An older gentleman, obviously talking to someone under a Ford Focus, makes eye contact. "How can I help you, ma'am?"
Tara likes him instantly. There is a gruffness under his politeness that she finds endearing. Briefly paying attention to his attire, she instinctively knows he's an old school mechanic. "I was hoping you could fit my Ford Edge in today for a tune-up and detail?"
There is something familiar about the "Awww, shit" that comes from under the Focus, but Tara can't really ponder it as Olivia tugs on her hair and Thomas tries to use her distraction as a chance to escape his mother's grasp.
The older gentleman, who's name reads "George" in stitched lettering on a filthy vest, looks perplexed towards the voice under the car. "Of course! We can get you in as soon as boss finishes this job up."
"No, we can't." Ok, that voice is definitely familiar, and a smile lights up her face when a body rolls out from under the car. "Her old man can service her car."
Tara ignores the confusion George is so blatantly wearing as she smiles, "Lowell" He looks wonderfully healthy and it does her heart good to see a teenage friend once again.
"Tara." He grins. "You look great. And it's great to see you on the outside." He ignores her wince but doesn't feel bad for his choice of words. Things get around in a small town and even more so when it relates to Jackson Teller or the Sons. "But I ain't touching your ride. And you know why." He slides back up underneath the car as though the conversation is over.
"Lowell…." She lets Thomas' hand go and crouches down. "Don't be like that. TM is too busy to get it in today and-"
"Too busy for you?" He snickers, the sound not muffled at all by the focus he's under. "Doubt it."
"It's true." She nods even though he can't see her. "Gemma told me herself this morning."
At that he comes back out and gives her a look all too familiar. Lowell's known the Teller's forever, his father was JT's trusted mechanic. However, that knowledge also made him aware of the way things went between the queens. "Ah, you and Gemma…. that explains it." He sits up and watches Thomas, who is checking out a tool chest with George, a bit.
When Lowell doesn't expand his thoughts, Tara tries to fill the silence. "Anyhow, I drove past this shop a couple of days ago, so I decided to stop after dropping Thomas off at school. This your garage?" He nods in affirmation. "Nice little place- "
"Cut the shit." He laughs and squints when he's realized he's cursed in front of kids. "The place is a hole in the wall. But it's mine and it provides for me and Moby." George grunts. "And George. Most importantly, it doesn't affect TM or anything Jax has going on in Charming or Stockton. I don't need to start problems with him, Tara, not even for you."
"You won't." She promises. "And…. I'm paying you out of my money. He probably won't even know I've gotten it done."
Lowell rolled his eyes and watched as the youngest kid fought against her mother for freedom. "Tara Knowles as a mom." He smiles. "Suits you." When he left TM in a haze of detox and anger, he didn't know how the whole Jax and Tara dynamic would work itself out. The last time he saw her, she had that look in her eye like she did back in their senior year. The look that said she was done with this town and on to bigger and better things.
"Thanks." She smiles, meeting his gaze. "Best things Jax has ever given me."
She still had that look he recognized and he found himself whispering against his better judgment. "Moby has a soccer ball and some other stuff behind the counter; might keep the kids entertained."
Jax is bone tired. He woke up early to handle some shit that was going down at Redwoody and the day went to shit from there. He found Tara asleep on the couch as he was leaving and briefly thought about waking her up but decided against to it. Now all he could hope for was to catch her at home. At some point, he was going to have to talk to her about SAMCRO shit but he was dreading that conversation too. He's passing by Lowell's shop when he catches a glimpse of something or someone in the adjoining field that catches his eye. He slows his bike instinctively and squints to look across the highway. Sure enough far removed from the traffic is Tara, kicking a ball around with Thomas and Olivia. "What the hell?" He slows down in order to be able to make the u-turn coming up, never even bothering to inform Happy or Quinn of his plans.
He's off the bike and storming into Lowell's shop without a moment's hesitation. Instantly, he notices Tara's cage on the lift. "What the hell are you doing with my wife's ride?"
Shit! Lowell thinks to himself. It's like he spoke this event into existence. "Hi, Jax. How are you?" He says from under the SUV.
"I'd be better if you answered my question." It's taking everything the outlaw has in him not to reach under and grab Lowell by his ears and beat the hell out of him.
"Jax!" Just then, Tara enters breathlessly. It's obvious, she's rangled kids and hightailed it inside. "What are you doing here?"
He rolls his eyes before turning to meet her gaze. "What are you doing here?" He retorts angrily.
"I didn't know this was Lowell's place." She admits and passes him Olivia, who is wiggling to get to her father. It's a sweet deal because she knows Jax won't act rashly with his daughter in his arms. "I dropped Abel off and wanted to get a tune-up."
"Didn't think you could make it to the shop?" He demands. If that was the case, why not call him or TM for a tow? Nothing about her made sense these days and he tightens his grip on Liv to try to contain himself. On one hand, he prays this is the case. At least, it would bring him a shread of peace.
"No." She admits. "I talked to your mom this morning and she mentioned that TM was too busy to fit me in." She glances down to Lowell as if talking about this in front of him made her uncomfortable. "I didn't want to wait."
This made even less sense the longer it went on. No doubt, it has to do with a powerplay between the two queens. The thought alone gives him a headache. He longs to tell her that Gemma hasn't been to TM enough to know what is going on with that business. But he hears Harley engines and knows that Happy and Quinn are outside. "Get the cage down, Lowell." He orders in his biker king voice that makes Tara's eyes roll. Lowell finally rolls out from underneath his safe haven. And although it practically kills Jax, he asks, "Can she drive it to TM?"
"Yeah." The timid mechanic admits. "Needs a full work-up but nothing that can't wait another twenty miles."
Some of his worry is eased, no matter what, Lowell knew mechanics and if he said the ride was good, it was good. Jax tapers down the voice that whispers his old man believed the same about Lowell's old man. "What do we owe you?" He'd rather eat nails than pay another mechanic.
"Nothing." He's already working the lift down. He just wanted everyone to get out of his garage. He's worked damn hard to make a life for himself and his son and doesn't need a reminder of all this baggage.
"Thanks, Lowell." Tara smiles awkwardly. "I really appreciate you being willing to fit me in. Sorry for the trouble."
The growl from Jax is restrained and Tara knows him enough to know she needs to get him out of there quickly so as guides Thomas to him as well. "I can get it out of here." She offers Lowell as soon as the lift is completely down.
"I'll get it." Lowell breathes deeply, never meeting Jax's blazing eyes. Anyone who owned a shop knew that the owner was responsible for all vehicles in the bay.
He backs the SUV completely out and Jax is at the drivers door, with both his kids. "Whatever this was today. Make sure it doesn't happen again." His words are lethal but the little girl tugging on his beard almost softens the blow.
"This wasn't anything." Lowell's words are interrupted when Tara picks up Thomas.
"Let's get in your seat, monkey." Her sing-song voice was as fake as she could get. "Jax, can you get her in?" When she's met with silence, she pleads, "Please?"
He stomps to the passenger side and nods to his brothers in an effort to let them know everything is alright. He cracks his first smile as he places Olivia in the contrapment that Tara refers to as a five-point harness. He blows raspberries on her tummy as he buckles her in. No matter what shit life handed him, this perfect combination of him and Tara, always made him feel better. He comes around and holds the driver door open, noticing that Lowell is already gone, "I'll meet you at TM."
"I'll wait for you." She tells him from her seat. No way in hell she was leaving him here to ambush Lowell. "Unless you were headed somewhere else?" Sarcasm laces every word.
"Not at all." He smirks and slams her door. It was clear what she was doing. And he would give her what she wanted now, but later, he'd confront that little shit Lowell and there was nothing she could do about it.
Tara arrives at TM with three Harley's following behind. Her stomach rolls, this is the first time she's been back since her release date. More accurately, the first time she can ponder all the events. She instantly remembers the bombing and her heart races. She gets out of the car but doesn't move to unbuckle the kids. Instead, she meets Jax in the middle of the parking lot, "Maybe I should take the kids somewhere else?"
"Why?" The look on her face troubles him. He planned on venting his frustrations over the Lowell situation. "You guys can sit in the office, no one's here." He assures her. No doubt she wanted to avoid his mother. "Or play on the playground."
"That's not what I'm worried about." She hesitates, running her hand through her hair in frustration. Thomas is knocking on the window with every bit of impatience of his three year old self. "Just…nevermind." She huffs, heading back to the car. Maybe she could just keep the kids outside. They would be safer outside, right? "This will be quick? You'll fit me in first?" She looks around as she gets Olivia out. They didn't look super busy or anything.
"You in a rush?" He asks, as he scoops Thomas up before the monkey takes off in the parking lot. "Got some hot plans I don't know about?"
"Don't be ridiculous." She rolls her eyes. When it's evident that he won't let this go she admits, "Having the kids here makes me nervous." Her glassy eyes knowingly tell him she remembers the bombing.
"Hey." He tugs her to him without thinking. His instinct is always to comfort her. "That why you went to Lowell's?" He was reaching for anything at this point.
"No." She shakes her head. "Maybe something….I don't know." She shrugs and clears her throat.
"You guys are safe here." He assures her. "I…I wouldn't bring any of you here, if you weren't." His words are meant as a promise but do not soothe her at all.
She kept the kids busy on the playset as long as possible but they ended up needing a break, her choices were the office or the clubhouse. Weighing her options, she chose the office. Inevitably, she finds herself cleaning the place. It was hard to imagine neat freak Gemma letting the place get this bad. She loses track of time when Bobby enters. "I've been dying to break the kitchen in. Want some lunch?"
The mention of food gets the kids attention. They glance up from Tara's phone they were watching. "Yay!" Soon, the phone is forgotten and Thomas is hanging on Bobby's leg while Olivia stares cautiously.
Mommy picks her up to calm her fears. "Looks like Bobby and food are more important than Alphablocks." She puts her phone into her back pocket. "I think these monkey's would love food."
"And how 'bout their momma?" The infamous Elvis impersonator follows her gaze through the window to where Jax is working on her cage. "You know, it's good to see him in there again. Showing that kid the ropes like we did with him."
"Who is the kid?" Tara asks curiously, eyes never leaving Jax. He looked sexy as hell with the leather shackle gone and an old TM tee on. She wonders where his old TM cut-off uniform shirts went? It's been ages since he's donned one.
"Someone from the high school." Bobby informs her. "Vo-tech."
Ah, Tara was familiar with the program as they had it back in her day. May as well as called in SAMCRO grooming. She hopes this kid is smarter than that. "I'd love lunch too, Bobby." She answers.
"Any requests?" He teases.
Bobby Elvis could cook. She has a lot of requests but instead tells him, "Surprise me." He grins and is off to no doubt get his needed supplies. She shakes off her fascination of a working Jax Teller and decides to tackle the desk. Soon the phone is ringing, she waits a few seconds, wondering if Gemma is forwarding these calls somewhere. When it doesn't appear that's the case, she answers before the answering machine picks up. It's someone inquiring about a break job. Tara scrambles to find the price list that has always been there since she could remember.
Later that night, after Jax and the kids are fast asleep; Tara finds herself soaking in the bath. If you would have told her that morning, that she would spend hours at TM, working on the horror of the books, answering phones, and cleaning; there was no way she would have believed it. More shocking, she found she enjoyed it. But more than shock, she felt fear; fear that enjoyment would lead to complacency. She couldn't afford to be complacent when she had to save her babies from their father's fate.