"Mmmmm..." Quinn swore she could have purred like a kitten as she nuzzled closer to Huck.
"I think we knocked a pillow off the bed." Huck whispered.
"Oh, who cares?" She lifted her head from his shoulder to kiss him.
"I think maybe we should make dinner before we end up going another round," Huck said.
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Quinn said playfully.
"It's not, but you need to eat. And you have to take your medicine, which I can run to the store and pick up for you."
Quinn's stomach growled before she could speak, making Huck laugh. "We have all night together."
"Leaving me in the morning, are you?" She asked as the untangled their bodies.
"No, but we can't exactly spend all day in bed if we want to get the walls finished."
"Who says we need to do it in bed?" She sat behind him, kissing his shoulder as a shiver went up his spine at her words.
"Quinn…" He bit his lip, trying not to give in to her. "I love you, and I want you to eat your dinner and take your medicine like you're supposed to."
"Fine." Quinn faked a pout, sticking her lower lips out. Huck took a deep breath.
"Don't make me bite that lip," he said, pulling his pants on. Quinn giggled and got up, going into the closet. Huck watched her as she walked away, restraining himself from pouncing on her gorgeous naked body again. He shook himself, grabbing a shirt from the dresser drawer and throwing it on. Quinn came out wearing a pink robe that ended just above her knees, and knowing she was naked underneath was enough to send a shiver down to his groin. She smirked at him as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'll be back in a minute. Do you want me to pick up some food, too, or do you want to cook?"
"I've been dying for some fried chicken." Quinn smiled. "But I could think of something else I'd rather have…" She kissed him, and he almost forgot what he was doing.
"Quinn, I'll be back in a few minutes. You just stay here and be beautiful," Huck said, slipping out of her embrace. He gave her a quick peck on the lips before leaving, and she fell back onto the bed, still smiling.
How could she ever have thought she would be afraid of having sex with Huck? Not a single bad thought had entered her mind as long as he had been touching her, kissing her, moving inside her, making her soul burst into tiny pieces over and over again. The sex before was so good, so hot, especially in the parking garage...but this, this was a whole new level that she couldn't have imagined. The amount of passion that seemed to seep from their pores…
No, she had no regrets at all. She was so happy that Charlie hadn't ruined this for her. Anyone but Huck, and maybe. But Huck, his touch, he had a way of making her forget everything but him. She couldn't even remember how they got from the shower to the bed. All she could remember was feeling, feeling every part of him against every part of her, as if he had swallowed her up completely.
She rubbed her arms, covered in goosebumps at the memory of his touch, and stood, walking down the stairs to the kitchen. The sky was darker, and it was just beginning to sprinkle. No doubt it would storm - the clouds were low and almost black against the evening sky. She stepped outside and down off of the porch, letting her bare toes wiggle in the grass, and stood, eyes closed, breathing in the fresh air. Her body hummed with contentment and relaxation. A few weeks ago, she never thought she would see anything outside of Charlie's apartment. Now here she was, able to stand in her own backyard, barefoot and...without underwear...feeling the raindrops on her skin and smelling the grass.
The sky opened up, and the drizzle quickly became a downpour, but Quinn couldn't move. Every drop on her skin felt like freedom.
"Quinn?" Huck's voice shouted from the door. "What are you doing, it's pouring out here!"
She turned to look at him, his head poking out from the door, jacket hood still up. "I haven't felt this in a long time," she said loudly over the sound of the rain. Huck stepped out, walking over to her. "I spent months in an apartment and I couldn't feel the rain." She brought her hand up, watching the raindrops collect in her palm. "This...I never thought I would feel this again." She took his hand and brought it to her heart. "Or this."
"Quinn…" Huck said. "You're soaking wet, you're going to make yourself sick."
Quinn smiled. "I love you, Huck."
"I love you, too." He bent down to kiss her, his hand tangling in her wet hair, both of them tasting the rain on their lips. Her toes dug into the ground as she pressed her body against him.
Huck bent down, scooping her up into his arms, and carried her inside. She stood and he closed the door just as a rumble of thunder seemed to shake the ground. "I didn't want you getting struck by lightning." He winked at her. "How about you go get some dry clothes while I get out plates?" Quinn kissed his cheek and ran up the stairs. She quickly threw the wet robe in the hamper and slipped on a blue satin nightgown. She ran a brush through the wet tangles in her hair, and quickly went back to Huck. He had set plates on the table, along with a bucket of chicken still steaming hot, biscuits, and an orange bottle of medicine. She picked up the bottle and opened it, peering in at the little blue capsules.
"You take two," Huck said. She nodded, shaking two out into her hand. Huck took the bottle and handed her a glass of water, and she swallowed the pills.
"Thanks," she sat down as Huck put the bottle on the counter and sat down at the table with her. "This smells amazing, thank you."
"Anything for you," he said, grabbing a biscuit. "How are you feeling?"
Quinn smiled, swallowing a bite of chicken. "Like I could go another round."
Huck rolled his eyes. "I meant how do you feel."
"Well...I feel happy. I didn't...I didn't expect it would be so...easy."
"Was I really that easy?" Huck raised an eyebrow, and Quinn laughed.
"No, I mean...I didn't think I would be able to...without thinking about him...what he did to me." She stuffed another piece of chicken in her mouth.
"But you're okay?"
She nodded, swallowing. "More than okay. I feel like I've accomplished something. There's a piece of myself that I was able to take back from him. I was scared before, but I'm not now."
"Scared that you would remember?"
"Yes. And scared that I wouldn't...be the same...like, I wouldn't please you like I did when we…"
"Quinn, you definitely don't have to worry. I think you know how pleased you made me." He shifted in his seat. "Maybe we should talk about something else. Is the chicken okay, did I get what you wanted?"
"What, am I turning you on?" Quinn asked, slowly biting a piece of chicken while keeping her eyes locked on Huck, who was obviously distracted by a growing situation in his pants.
"Eat, Quinn." He smirked at her.
She rolled her eyes, taking another bite. "Really though, this is good. I haven't had fried chicken in months."
"It's my favorite."
"Really? How did I never know that?"
"Well, its not like I talked about myself much at the office. It was all B613 and computers and spy stuff. You and me, I was your teacher, I was too busy teaching you. I know what you like because you were that person, the person who talks. I wasn't. I'm still not, but I love you, so I talk to you." Huck looked down, twirling a chicken bone in his hand. "You like chicken lo mein from the takeout place on Fifth. Your favorite color is blue, that's why I chose blue for the living room, because I knew you'd like it. You like to read but you only do it if there's nothing else to do because you like to be doing something. When you're concentrating, you tuck your hair behind your left ear and squint your eyebrows. You still twitch when you hear the name 'Lindsey,' and you look like an angel when you're standing in the rain." Huck's mouth snapped shut.
Quinn was silent, stunned. "...Have...have you always been paying that much attention to me?"
"Yes. I pay attention to everyone, it's part of how I was trained, but...you, I noticed differently. I knew you were special. I don't know when I realized I was noticing you more than anyone else, I just realized I knew as much about you as I did Olivia, and that scared me at first. But then almost losing you scared me more. When I found you and brought you back to the old apartment, that was when I realized how wrong I was. I was wrong for walking away from you and letting you go. I was wrong about thinking you would be okay without me. I was wrong. I was wrong and I'm sorry for that."
Quinn shook her head. "No, Huck, you needed to know your family. And I don't think we would have ended up where we are right now. I'd rather be broken and have you than be whole and not have you at all."
Huck sighed. "You're right, but it doesn't make me any less wrong for not choosing you from the start. I could have kept Charlie from-"
"Huck, no. You couldn't have. Either way, it would have been the plan to kidnap me. Only I wouldn't have been as easy to find. If you had been looking for me, I wouldn't have been somewhere as obvious as Charlie's apartment. I would probably still be there. So don't say you made the wrong choice."
They both were silent for a long time before Huck spoke. "Red."
"What?"
"My favorite color. It's red."
Quinn smiled. "That's nice to know."
…
A scream shattered Huck's sleep, and he found himself sitting upright in bed. Another scream from beside him. Quinn was thrashing, hitting at the air, screaming.
"Quinn! Wake up!" Huck grabbed her, letting her fists pound his chest and arms. "Quinn, it's a dream!"
Her eyes shot open, darting around, her chest heaving. "He's here, he's here to kill me, he's here…"
"No, I'm here. I'm here, you're safe. He's dead. Charlie's dead, he can't hurt you."He pulled her head to his chest, gently rocking her as she began sobbing. "You're okay. I've got you."
…
Quinn opened her eyes to a bright bedroom. She stretched, rolling over to find she was alone in the bed. Sighing, she lay thinking about the day ahead, and the thoughts eventually led her to thoughts about the days past.
Huck flipped the last pancake just as he heard Quinn's footsteps coming down the stairs. He turned around as she walked into the kitchen, but he stopped as he saw the look on her face. "Quinn?"
"I would be four months pregnant today. They told me in the hospital, how many weeks they thought I was. I did the math. I'd be four months today," she said, sliding down into a chair at the table, placing her forehead in her hands. Huck slowly walked over to her.
"Quinn," he said, and he knelt down in front of her. "I wish it could have been different. If I had looked for you sooner, if I hadn't abandoned you, it wouldn't have happened."
"No, Huck, I told you, he would have been better if he had known you are on it. I didn't fight…" Her voice broke. "When he took me. I didn't fight. I could have. I should have. I didn't. I let him take me. I chose to let him take me. It's my fault."
"Quinn…" Huck took her wrists, pulling her hands from her face. "Nothing you or I say is going to change it. God, I wish it could, but it can't. We have each other now, Quinn. You can hold on to me. Maybe we'll have another chance someday, but we can't change the past. This is what matters now, you matter to me. You're all I care about right now. We can't change it."
Quinn squeezed her eyes closed. "I cant...I don't think I can do this….talk...it hurts-"
"I know it hurts. I know it hurts you because you're a beautiful person who would be an amazing mother. It hurts me, too. But I'm going to help you, Quinn, I'm here to help you through this."
She slowly nodded, opening her eyes. "I just...I think I need some coffee."
"I'll get it for you. I made pancakes?"
"I don't think I can eat right now, Huck."
Huck nodded, pouring her coffee. "Promise that you'll eat something later. I won't push you." He handed her the hot cup.
She slowly sipped as Huck fluttered around the kitchen, cleaning up from cooking. Although she had slept, she felt drained. There was a sharp pain over her heart that seemed to stab her every time she breathed, the knowledge that she should be pregnant right now...it felt almost too much to bear. She stood up, placing her cup in the sink and going back upstairs.
She stood in the closet. She knew she should get dressed, but she had no motivation to do so. She didn't want to put clothes on and go about her day. She found herself reaching for her brown bikini and putting it on. Swimming might help. If she swam, maybe she could distract herself.
She came out of the closet, walked down the stairs, and found herself frozen, unable to breathe. Huck was standing at the living room window, his back to her, a curtain rod leaning against the wall, holding the white lace curtains in one hand and a small power drill in the other. A moaning sound made Huck turn around, but she didn't realize the sound was coming from her because she couldn't unlock her eyes from the drill even as it dropped from Huck's hand and he rushed toward her.
"Quinn...Quinn, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I was going to have you go outside while I hung the curtains, but I wanted to get everything ready to hang now that the paint is dry, and I just...I wasn't thinking. Quinn, say something."
"I…I…" Her eyes were still locked on the drill, and Huck pulled her around, grabbing her face and forcing her to look at him.
"Quinn, I would never hurt you. You know I wouldn't. Never. Never again, do you hear me? Now I want you to go outside, and I will come get you when I get this done, and then I'll throw the drill away. You never have to see a drill again. But you need to give me some sign that you're okay right now. You need to speak, because if you can't, I'm going to have to call for help. I want to help you, Quinn."
She blinked, nodding slightly, trying not to hear the pounding of her heart in her ears. "I...I'm….o..kay….I'm fine...I can go down….I was going outside…"
Huck nodded. "Good. You just wait for me out there. Five minutes, and it'll be done, and I'll come and find you. Are you okay? I can do this another time, but I think it's best to get it over with now…"
"I'm fine, just….do it. Now. I'll….go." She turned out of his grasp and ran down the hallway, hands over her ears. She was afraid she would hear the sound of the drill. She didn't stop running until she was outside, leaping into the air to land in the pool.
When she surfaced, she immediately swam as fast as she could for the other end of the pool and, pushing off of the wall, turned back for the other side. She didn't could how many times she swam, back and forth, but she didn't stop until she was so out of breath, she was clinging to the wall trying to get as much oxygen into her lungs as she could. The burning of her chest was all she could think about as her breathing finally slowed, and she let herself float in the water. Finally, she took a deep breath and submerged herself.
The water was warm, and it felt like a gentle hug around her body. Her hair waved in front of her as she looked around, marvelling in how beautiful the sunlight was dancing through the water. She closed her eyes, ignoring the screams of her lungs, listening only to the distant hum of the water pump…
Suddenly a splash startled her, and she burst above the surface, gasping for air as Huck swam over to her. The grabbed the wall as she felt the burn of oxygen once again in her chest. Huck's hands gently held her waist, keeping her steady as she got her breathing back to normal. She let go of the wall, and he gently turned her, both of them floating in the water, kicking lightly.
"Quinn, are you okay?" Huck asked.
She didn't know how to answer, so she ducked back into the water, swimming out of his grip to the other side of the pool. When she surfaced, Huck was treading, confused, but willing to play, and he swam over to her. Just as his hand reached out to touch her...she was gone again. This time he swam after her, and she barely had time to take a breath before she was off again, but he anticipated her direction and met her at the far wall. His hands shot out just as her head broke out into the air, pinning her against the wall.
"Got you," Huck smiled. Quinn took two deep breaths, not speaking, only staring into his eyes. Huck was confused; he couldn't read her expression. Before he could ask, she grabbed him forcefully, pulling him to her as her lips slammed into his. He was still confused, but the feeling of her need pushed away any coherent thoughts.
Her back pressed hard against the wall as he returned her fervor, one hand wrapping around her lower back, the other around the back of her neck, pulling her into his kisses. Her legs wrapped themselves around his hips, and she ground herself onto his hardness. A deep rumble came from Huck's chest as his tongue danced with hers. His fingers tangled into her wet hair as he pulled her head back, licking her neck, kissing, sucking, tasting the chlorine on her skin. Her hand went down, pulling his swim trunks off of his hips and freeing him. He growled, his lips crashing against hers again as he yanked the bottoms of her swimsuit away and plunged himself into her. She gasped, her fingernails sinking into the skin on his back as he thrust again, hard. She bit his lip as his hand yanked her by the hips as he thrust. Her arms tightened around him as he moaned into his mouth. Her fingernails scraped against his back, making him thrust harder, her back hitting the wall.
"Huck…" she breathed as her walls tightened around him, and he fell over the edge, spiraling with her into an abyss so deep, he couldn't see the end. They clung to each other, breathing heavily, riding out their orgasms together. Quinn leaned, putting her head on his shoulder as Huck lightly kissed her neck. Her eyes closed, her head spun, and she let herself relax into his arms.
"Quinn...you're incredible," Huck whispered, kissing the tip of her ear. He quickly pulled his trunks back up and she rearranged her swimsuit, still not speaking. She looked calmer, though, as she floated in front of him, letting him pull her into his arms again as they drifted in the water. Huck was completely relaxed, almost drained after the unexpected forcefulness of Quinn's need for him. He tilted her chin up to look at him. "Are you okay?"
She nodded. "Are the curtains…?"
"They're up. Everything is cleaned up. I wanted to come and swim with you before I started on the bedroom walls."
"Sorry. About…"
Huck pulled her closer. "Don't be sorry. I didn't expect you to see the drill, I knew it would affect you, I just didn't know...it's okay now, though. It's done."
She nodded, flipping herself up, floating on her back, letting the back of her head sink into the water and her eyes closed. Huck's hands brushed against her back, supporting her. The world melted away as she floated, matching her breaths to the sound of Huck's, concentrating on the content physical state Huck had left her body in. Time had no meaning, and only the feel of Huck's bare skin against her own kept her grounded.
Finally, she sighed, opening her eyes. "I've probably turned into a prune by now."
"A sexy prune." Huck smirked, helping her flip upright.
"You're weird." She said, swimming to the stairs.
"Weird is good."
She smiled, aware that Huck was watching her body as she stepped out of the water, grabbing a towel from the ground where Huck had put them. She handed Huck's towel to him and wrapped hers around her as she started to shiver. Huck threw his around his shoulders and pulled her to him, wrapping his towel-covered arms around her. "That was certainly a way to christen the pool..." he whispered.
She laughed once. "Yeah, it was."
"Are you okay?"
"Aside from probably not being able to walk properly? Peachy." Huck rolled his eyes at her, holding her closer. The feel of his skin against hers was like an electric current running through her, and she had to pull away.
"Can I help? With the bedroom?"
"Yeah, let's get dressed first, though. I don't think I could handle seeing you painting in a bikini." She smirked, flipping her towel at him as they walked inside.
..
Painting ended up being almost a relaxing task if not for the silence. Huck commandeered the roller, and Quinn was standing at the window with a paintbrush, concentrating on "cutting in" the corners, making sure the frame of the window stayed white. The silence made it easier for her thoughts to swirl in her mind, though only two words were clear.
'Four months.'
Every time she heard them in her mind, it was like a stab in the gut. All she wanted to do was lay down on the floor and never get up. But every time Huck looked over at her, she had a smile ready on her face. She didn't want to lie to him about how she felt, but he just didn't seem to understand. That morning, although everything he said was true and he didn't mean to sound the way he did, it felt very dismissive. She knew it was stupid, he only wanted to help, he didn't want her to be hurting, but she just….she wanted to know the hurt wasn't hers alone.
'Four months.'
She had to concentrate just to breathe. How could anyone endure this? How could anyone keep going?
"Quinn?" Huck was standing beside her, and she looked at him, trying to smile. "You've been staring at that corner for a good minute and a half. Did it do something to you?"
"No, I just….caught up in my thoughts is all."
"Well, I was thinking we could finish up tomorrow. I need to run to the store for some things, can I bring you anything?"
Quinn shook her head, putting the brush next to the paint can as Huck slipped on his shoes. He walked over and kissed her. "I'll be right back. Call me if you think of anything, okay?"
"Okay." She stood, and it wasn't until he had almost reached the stairs before she called out. "Huck?" He looked up. "I...I love you."
"I love you too, Quinn," He smiled, confused, but walked down the stairs and out the front door. Quinn stood, listening to the car pull out of the driveway. Slowly, she walked into the bathroom. Her face was pale, and her eyes seemed to drag down her face. She looked exhausted. She felt exhausted. She was hurting so badly and so deeply, and it was unbearable.
She turned on the sink, splashing her face with cool water. She dried her face off, looking back in the mirror, before her eyes flashed to the half-full bottle of pain pills for her arm and rib.
..
Huck wandered through the store, grabbing the sponge he had come for - he wanted to try to use the sponge on the wall that the bed was on to create a textured look on it. He threw a box in the cart that held an inflatable pool lounge, thinking of Quinn and how much she seemed to love floating around in the pool. The pool….his thoughts drifted back to the pool, and a shiver went down his spine. How forceful she had been, her need for him, he could almost feel her fingernails still digging into his back as she moaned from the feel of him filling her…
He shook his head, walking on, finding himself looking at the jewelry. In one glass box, there were rings. Engagement rings.
Part of him said no. It was stupid, really. They hadn't lived together a week. They hadn't even been 'together' for a month. She was still trying to get over the past, she was still healing. He did not want to push her any farther until he was sure of what she wanted. And yet…
And yet he couldn't help looking. He knew she was the only woman he wanted to spend his life with. It felt almost wrong - a trained killer for B613, getting engaged? But Quinn was all he could think about. He knew, in every fiber of his being, that she was his soul mate. He had never wanted anything so badly in his life. He wanted to see his ring on her finger. He wanted to see her smiling in a white dress in the sunlight. He wanted to see her plump, ripe with his child. He wanted her, all of her. He wanted to love and care for her until he died.
One ring seemed to wink at him, and he knew. It was a sign. The ring was small, silver and delicate. Two tiny diamonds set on either side of the larger one. Classic, and it reminded him of Quinn. A saleslady came up to him, and he wordlessly pointed at the ring. "I can help you, sir." She smiled, sliding the door open and pulling out the ring. He wasn't entirely sure, but it looked to be the perfect size. He nodded, declining to have it taken to be sized.
As he walked to the car with the bags in his hand and a ring box in his pocket, he felt like a completely different person. His steps were light. He could barely concentrate as he drove. He was trying to think of how to ask her. He had bought candles, he could make dinner for her, he could surprise her…
Would she think it was weird, him asking so soon? They had known each other for years, it's true, but still...what if she said no? Oh God, what would he do if she said no? The thought stuck in his mind as he pulled in the driveway. He couldn't breathe. He could feel himself starting to sweat. But he knew he didn't want to turn back. He wanted to ask, even if she said no. He wanted her to know how much he loved her. He would get started on dinner as soon as he had put everything away.
He walked into the house, and it was silent. She had looked tired when he left, she was probably taking a nap. Better for him, since he could prepare the dinner and surprise her. He set the bags on the countertop, pulling the sponge out. He would go check on her and put the sponge with the painting things, see if she was awake or not.
He climbed the stairs slowly, trying not to make a sound in case she was asleep, but he saw the bedroom light was still on. He walked in, and the bed was empty. Confused, he set the sponge down next to the paint can. "Quinn?" he said, looking around. He walked over to open the closet door, but something on the floor at the end of the bed caught his eye.
A foot.
He ran over, and saw her.
Quinn. Her body crumpled on the ground. Eyes closed. Not moving.
He looked at her hand. White tablets were in her palm, on the floor. An empty prescription bottle halfway under the bed.
No.
He bent down. He could hear someone screaming her name, but he didn't realize that it was his own voice.
His fingers at her neck.
Silence.
No.
A phone at his ear.
"911, what's your emergency?"
"My girlfriend...she's taken pills, she's not….please hurry, 316 Briar Street…."
"An ambulance is on it's way now, sir, it's right down the block. Sir, does she have a pulse?"
No. No. No.
"No." he breathed. His fingers still at her neck. Her warm neck. Still warm.
Not too late.
The phone clattered to the floor as he placed his palms on her chest, pumping, breathing for her, pumping, breathing.
The door being knocked in.
"Here!" Huck yelled, and footsteps slammed up the stairs, into the room.
She's in here. She's still here. She has to be. Please don't leave me…
The EMT's pushed him aside, and he sat on the floor, unable to move.
Her body surged upward. Shocking her heart. They were shocking her heart.
Every time they did, his stopped.
No.
"We have a rhythm!" One of the EMT's shouted. "Let's get her to the cab, then tube her!"
Two of the others slid her onto a stretcher. Another picking up the empty bottle, shoving one of the pills into it and placing it in a bag.
"Sir? If you're coming, you have to come now." A female EMT bent down to him as he watched Quinn being taken away. "Sir, come with us." She held out her hand, hauling him to his feet. "Can you tell me her name?"
"Quinn. Quinn Perkins," Huck breathed.
The woman helped him down the stairs, and into the ambulance.
He never noticed the small black box that had fallen out of his pocket in the bedroom and now lay alone on the floor.
..
A/N:
Sorry it took so long with this one! Not only was it extremely intense to write, but I've been swamped with other work to do! I'm starting on the next chapter now!