Chapter 12: The Eye of the Storm

Josephine and Cal headed in Jack and Rose's direction. "Finally, we found you!" cried Rose.

"We had no idea where either one of you were," said Jack. "And with the ship in such dire straits, we both got worried and decided to look for you, but this is the last place we ever expected to find you. What are you doing in steerage?"

Cal looked as guilty as a criminal caught in the act. He knew the reason why they were both in third class, but it was obvious he didn't want to reveal it. Josephine answered instead. "I actually came here looking for you, Jack. I was worried too." Cal shot her a quick glance but she pretended not to see it and continued speaking, "Then Cal came here looking for me." Cal looked at her gratefully, as though he had been dying of thirst and she had provided him with much needed water.

Rose laughed. "It would appear we've all been searching for each other ."

"Now we need to find a way out of here," Jack added.

Cal shook his head. "It's hopeless."

Jack looked up ahead at the steel gate, indomitable. He quickly pushed his way past the people and made it to the front. "Jack, wait!" Josephine yelled but her words went unheeded.

"Open the gate," she heard him say to the steward.

"Sir, please remain calm," the steward replied, clearly annoyed.

"Open the gate!"

"Remain calm!" he answered, he himself growing more anxious.

Before she had even noticed he had left her side, Josephine saw Cal standing next to Jack. "There are women and children down here! Let us out you heartless excuse for a man!"

The steward looked angry but also worried. People were starting to get more irate by the second, a ticking bomb threatening to explode at any moment. "I'm going to have to ask you two to step away from the gate."

Jack said nothing for a second, but then, suddenly, just lost it. He grabbed the gate with both of his hands and shook it with great force. "God damn it! You son of a bitch!"

The steward looked scared but made no reply, ignoring the outburst as if it had never happened.

Cal looked exasperated with fury. He made his way back to her and Rose with Jack following and sat down on a nearby bench, placing his head in his hands in despair. Josephine sat down next to him and positioned a consoling arm around his shoulders. Cal's head darted up then. He looked like he had just discovered the tomb of Tutankhamen . He got up quickly, grabbing Josephine's arm as well. "Get up!"

Josephine was not amused. "What is your problem?!"

"I don't have a problem. I have a solution." He seized the bench and started pulling on it. Jack, seeing what he was about, began helping him in the task. They managed to pry the bench from its bolts and held it up.

Josephine quickly went up to the crowd of people. "Move aside! Hurry up, hurry up! Move aside!" The people eventually cleared a path and Cal and Jack began running toward the gate and rammed into it with all their combined strength. It tore apart from its tracks while the stewards quickly ducked out of the way.

"You cannot do this!" a steward cried.

Cal and Jack rammed into the gate again, this time managing to pry it completely loose. The crowd surged through, a great exodus of frenzied people.

The steward remained obstinate. "You can't do this! You just can't!" he yelled as all four of them made their way through. Josephine, using all the might that her left hand could muster, punched him square in the nose. She smiled with more than a little satisfaction as she heard him wailing behind her, "My nose! I think she broke my nose!"

***

Josephine and her three companions were now out on the boat deck waiting to board a lifeboat in the midst of an even bigger crowd than they had left behind below decks. The officer manning the lifeboat was only letting on women and children, and this segregation was causing obvious turmoil, as children and wives sobbed in the lifeboat while the men remained on board the doomed ship.

Rose turned to Jack, looking scared yet resolute at the same time. "I'm not going without you."

Everyone turned their heads in alarm at the same time, but Jack spoke first. "What? No, Rose, you have to get on."

She shook her head stubbornly. "No, not without you."

Cal tried convincing her. "Rose, don't worry. Jack and I will both be okay, and you can get on with Josephine."

Rose looked contemplative, but when she gazed at Jack, Josephine knew she had not changed her mind, and her words confirmed it. "I'm not getting on without Jack." She nestled closer to him, taking his hand.

Jack held her hand tightly and held her gaze just as firmly. "Rose, please get on."

She just shook her head weakly but her decision was strong.

Cal lead Josephine away from Rose and Jack. "You've got to convince her to get on the lifeboat."

She rose her eyebrows in surprise. "Me? Why would she listen to me and not Jack?"

"Because Jack is the reason why she wants to stay behind, and besides that, she respects your opinion. I can tell. Who wouldn't?"

Josephine crossed her arms stubbornly. "I'm not so sure I want to get on myself. I don't want to leave you behind either."

"It's women and children only, Josephine. I will stay behind like a man of honor."

"I don't need your chivalry."

He stepped closer to her. "This isn't about chivalry. This a matter of life and death." He closed his eyes like he was conjuring up the strength to do something extremely difficult then he opened them. "Please, Josephine…I'm begging you."

Josephine unfolded her arms, letting them hang limply. "I bet you've never said those words to anyone in your entire life."

"Well, I'm saying them now."

She made no answer and walked over to Rose. "Rose, let's both get in the lifeboat together. It'll be fine. I promise."

Rose glanced anxiously at Jack so Josephine stood in front of him, blocking him from her view. "Come on, Rose. I can't get on the boat without you."

A rocket was fired at that moment, casting a beautiful glow over all of them, a temporary light in an otherwise dreary evening.

Rose dashed away the tears that had managed to escape her eyes. "All right. I'll get on."

From the corner of her eye Josephine saw Jack mouth "thank you". She smiled in response.

The officer loading the boat was searching through the throng of people. "I need more women and children!" he shouted.

Jack lead Rose to the front and the officer helped place her in the boat. Rose quickly turned around so she was facing Jack and grabbed his hand. Josephine stepped up next and was placed in the boat as well. She felt uneasy. She and Rose were safe, but what about Cal and Jack? The look on Cal's face wasn't helping matters either. He looked more melancholy than a newly made widow.

In one swift movement the officer pushed Jack to the side breaking his hold on Rose. "Step back, sir," he commanded. Then he shouted, "Lower away!" and the boat jerked down and began its slow descent.

She looked at Rose who was staring at the man she loved like she was memorizing every single last one of his features for fear she would never see them again. Then she gazed back at Cal and Jack, two very different men who both looked exactly the same at that moment—devastated. They were trying to look strong, but she could see through the façade. It was all an act, and she did not like this play.

Josephine's eyes were now fixed only on Cal. She could have sworn she saw the glint of tears in his eyes. She couldn't help but think how unfair it was that he was remaining in the same position while she was moving down. She didn't want to be moving down! 'No one wants to go down,' she thought with sadness. 'I should be going up. I feel as though I'm leaving the world behind'. Suddenly, while in the middle of these somewhat strange thoughts, Rose turned to Josephine.

"I'm sorry," she stated. Before Josephine could inquire as to what she was sorry for, Rose stood up and in one swift movement, hurled herself across the chasm separating lifeboat and ship. She landed in the promenade directly below the boat deck. Josephine could hardly believe her eyes.

"Rose! Nooo!!" Jack cried. Then he spun around, running for the direction of where Rose had landed.

Cal just stood where he was, looking baffled. He kept glancing back and forth between where Josephine was and where Jack had taken off to.

Josephine suddenly felt alone even though there were about sixty other people in the boat with her. Cal knew what she was about to do even before she realized it herself. "Josephine, don't!" he shouted.

But she did. She jumped out of the boat, landing in the same promenade as Rose. She felt dazed yet lucid at the same time. She began looking around the surplus of people, searching for Rose. She was no where to be found so she decided to head in the direction she thought she saw Rose running in, which was the right. Or was it left? She couldn't quite remember, but she went right anyway.

***

Josephine had been wandering by herself for about fifteen minutes, and she was scared, more than scared. She was terrified. The ship was noticeably tilting at an angle, and she wasn't just frightened of dying. She was afraid she was going to die all alone. She had searched endlessly for Rose, Cal, and Jack, but had found no sign of them. She was now sitting in the First Class smoking room. Several other people were in the room as well, but she paid them no mind as she sat listlessly at a table all by herself with a deck of cards before her. The sound of chatter and laughter could be heard as the people tried to mask their fear with the frivolity and fun of cards, drinking, and smoking. She began to play solitaire finding a companion in the lonely game. By the time she had finished the game, the smoking room was empty.

Josephine thought about going back out on deck, and it seemed the most logical choice, but she somehow couldn't find the fortitude to make her way there. She could tell that the ship was becoming more perpendicular as each minute ticked by, but still she stayed. It was almost like she was giving up. She shuffled the cards and made a disaster of it as the cards went flying everywhere. She got on the floor to gather the scattered cards. She hadn't picked up but five cards when she began sobbing. What a mess she had made of everything. She had lost track of her friends, and now she was all alone without the strength to even save herself. She longed for Calvin. If only he were here then she wouldn't care what happened. Even if she were to die, as long as he were wrapping his loving arms around her, she wouldn't mind one bit.

She didn't hear the person walk in the room, but she saw his legs standing before her. She knew it was Cal before she saw his face. He bent down to her level and held her as though she would fly into a million little pieces if he let go. After an eternity, he released her.

"Where have you been?" he asked her, his voice choked with emotion.

"I searched practically the entire ship for you guys, but I couldn't find any of you, so I just stayed here."

"Stayed here? Why didn't you go back outside and get on a boat."

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just didn't feel like trying anymore."

He stood up, helping her up in the process. "You can't do that. Don't you ever consider giving up."

She accepted his words like they were mandatory. "I won't. Don't worry."

She noticed that Jack and Rose were absent. "Where are they?"

"I told them we should split up and search for you, and if we couldn't find you after fifteen minutes, we probably would never find you…I've been looking for thirty minutes."

"Thank you" was all she could think of to say.

He said nothing in reply but took her hand. "We need to go out to the deck."

***

Outside the ship was utter pandemonium. People were pushing, shoving, shouting, crying, yelling. It was like being in the middle of a battlefield.

Josephine and Cal had searched in vain for a lifeboat and had now given up hope of ever finding one. "There are no boats left," Cal stated. "What do we do?" His voice was growing panicked.

Now it was Josephine's turn to be strong. "We need to stay on this ship for as long as possible."

"Right. Of course."

Josephine started heading up the stern but Cal stopped her. "Wait. I have to tell you something."

"Tell me then," she said somewhat impatiently, wanting to hurry up and move.

"I love you."

Any thoughts Josephine had of moving were melted away as she stood frozen in place. She couldn't think of what to say. Her mind was as immobile as her body. "Cal, I…"

"I know you don't love me back. It's okay. You love that Calvin guy. Every time you mention him your face changes. I would give anything for you to look like that as you thought of me, but you won't. And I can't change that. I just had to let you know how I felt."

She felt so many emotions all at once. Her thoughts were in a flurry as though a blizzard were happening in her mind. He was right. She didn't love him, not the way he wanted her to anyway, but that didn't stop her from feeling for him. "Cal, in another time, in another world, I think I could've loved you."

Cal smiled sadly. "I don't really care about what could have been or what might have been. Just know that wherever you go or wherever I go, my heart will follow you."

He began walking on then but this time Josephine stopped him. She placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him chastely but tenderly, a snowflake landing on a flower. She may not have been able to give her whole heart, but she could at least give him a piece of it.

He accepted her offering with gratitude. They stood for a moment, calm and uncaring of the danger around them, both of them the eye in the merciless, chaotic storm. Then hand in hand they walked on.

***

I start to cry. I sing your song to stop the tears.

*There you have it! That was kind of a lengthy chapter, but I hope you thought it was a good one. It would be freaking sick if you REVIEWED! lol