Well, here's the 12th chapter! I planned to publish it yesterday, but I finished it late at night and fell asleep before I got to publish it, so here it is now!

As always - comments and reviews are more than welcomed!

Enjoy!

Chapter 12

*** NOTE: This chapter takes place about six weeks after the end of the 11th chapter ***

"Frankie, come here for a second." Jane whispered to Frankie while he took his cup of coffee out of Angela's hand. "Good morning Ma." Jane said to Angela, who smiled at her.

"What happened Janie?" Frankie asked. They sat down at a table together and Frankie started to drink his coffee.

"It's... I have this... problem, that I can't talk to Maura about, so I need your help." Jane said.

"Sure, what is it?" he said. They looked at each other's eyes, and Jane felt this weakness in her knees, as if they were telling her not to do this. She ignored the weakness and continued.

"I have problems with Casey." Jane said.

"I don't want to hear about it..." Frankie said, about to leave the table, but Jane pulled him back.

"Not in the sexual way! Listen to me." she said. "I... I don't know. It's not that I don't love him anymore, I do, or at least I think I do... I don't know anymore." she said and buried her head between her hands.

"Janie." Frankie said and put his coffee on the table before putting his hands on Jane's. Jane raised her look and looked at her brother. "Are you happy with Casey?"

"I don't know, that's the whole point!" she said, frustrated.

"Think about Casey for a second, okay? What do you feel?" he said.

"I..." she sighed. "Look, he makes me laugh, we have the best time together, and it's not like there is a problem in the sexual matter, there isn't, but something feels wrong, you know? Something just doesn't feel right for me anymore." she said.

"Janie, I know you love Casey, but if that's what you're saying than... you're not happy with him." Frankie said. He was so right, and Jane hated it, even though she said it to herself in her subconscious. "You're not happy with him. You were, but you're not anymore, and I really hate to see you like that."

"I..." Jane started, but got stuck after one word.

"Look, Jane, I know it's confusing, but just think about it. You wanted my opinion, and this is my opinion. I think you're not happy with him anymore. Now the ball is in the air, and you're holding the bat. You can either bat or stand still, it's your choice." Frankie said and kissed her forehead before leaving the Division One Cafè.

Jane remained sitting in her chair for a few more minutes. When she was about to get up and go upstairs to her desk she heard Maura's voice right near her saying "Good morning Jane."

Jane turned around to look at Maura and said "Good morning."

'Wow, she looks stunning.' Jane thought to herself. The fact she thought something like that scared her, and she quickly smiled at Maura her regular smile.

"Is everything okay this morning?" Maura asked and sat on the chair Frankie sat on a few moments ago.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Jane replied with a question of her own.

"Because I saw you talking to Frankie, and you seemed upset." Maura said and took a sip from her coffee. "You know you can talk to me about everything."

"Yeah, I know, but I... let's talk about this in your office." Jane said.

"Fine, let's go." Maura said and they stood up.

"Okay, here's the thing." Jane said. Maura was sitting in her chair as Jane was walking back and forth in Maura's office, trying to find the words. "I really don't know how to say this."

"Just say it Jane."

"I'm trying."

"Jane." Maura said. Jane stopped walking and looked at Maura right in the eyes. She saw Maura's concern to Jane, and thought how lucky she is to have Maura as her best friend.

"Okay, uhm... it's about Casey."

"So that's why you were afraid to talk to me? Because you thought I won't be objective?" Maura said, not taking her eyes off of Jane's. "Jane, when it comes to you, I'll always give you an advice according to what's best for you. Remember that."

"I know... I'm sorry." Jane said.

"Now, what is it?"

"That's the whole point – I don't know!" Jane almost yelled. She sat heavily on the chair on the other side of Maura's desk.

"Calm down." Maura said and put a comforting hand on Jane's. "Start slowly, step by step. Just say it."

"I... I love Casey, I really do. I've loved him ever since high school. He is a good guy and a good husband, he makes me laugh and cooks me dinner and when he looks at he I can see how much he loves me. When we got married... I didn't marry him because I felt like I have to, or because I didn't want to turn him down, or because I thought that if I won't marry him than I won't get married at all, I married him because I loved him and wanted to build a life and a family with him."

"So what had changed?"

"That's the whole point, Maur, I don't know. Lately when I look at him I still see the amazing person I got married to, I still see the guy I've been in love with even since high school, I still feel that I love him, but I also feel this weird... emptiness, right here." Jane pointed at a spot between her chest and her stomach.

"Jane, I'm going to tell you something that you may not like." Maura said. "I don't think you're happy with Casey. I don't think you're happy with him, at all."

"Frankie told me the same thing." Jane sighed. "I'm not mad at you, Maur. I know you'll tell me what you thing is best for me. That's who you are."

"I will always advice you according to what I think is best for you, Jane. you're my best friend." Maura said. "I actually started to like Casey after I saw how happy you were when I came back, but I did noticed a few minor changes lately."

"What kind of changes?" Jane asked.

"The way you look at him, for example. I can see that something in you has changed, you're feelings had changed."

"Gosh, Maura, I hate it when you're right..." Jane said, making Maura laugh. "I guess I have to do something, right?"

"Yes. If you want to be happy as you were, then yes, you do." Maura smiled.

"Fine, I... I'll talk to him." Jane said. "Thank you Maur."

"Anytime Jane." Maura smiled, and Jane went out of her office, making her way upstairs to her desk.

The rest of the day Jane simply sat in her chair and filled up paperwork. She wasn't assigned to any open case, and even though the pile of papers threatened to collapse on her, she couldn't stop thinking about Casey. She had no idea what she is about to do, or what will happen when she gets home. Around eight o'clock she had realized that she is practically doing nothing, and decided to call it a day. She took her coat, said goodnight to Frost and Korsak and went downstairs to the morgue to say goodbye to Maura before leaving the station.

When she entered the morgue she didn't see Maura anywhere. She went to her office and saw Maura's coat and bag were still there, so she decided to wait for her. A few minutes later Maura came, surprised to see Jane in her office.

"Hello Jane." Maura smiled.

"Hey..." Jane said so quietly she wasn't sure if Maura actually heard her.

"Okay, come on." Maura said and put on her coat. "We are going to have a few drinks."

"Why?" Jane asked, confused.

"Because you're upset and I know that a drink or two will cheer you up a little bit. Come on." Maura left no chance for Jane to argue with her.

"Maur, help me out in here! What am I going to do?" Jane asked over the second bottle of beer while Maura was still in her first. They were in their usual cabin in the Dirty Robber, and all Jane could think and talk about was Casey.

"Jane, you just have to sit with him, talk to him, and tell him how you feel." Maura said. "Tell him that you're not happy as you used to be."

"But how can I do that to him? Maur, he left the army to marry me, he refused to a promotion. I can't do this to him..." Jane said.

"Would you prefer being miserable for the rest of your life? Because if you won't tell him that you're not happy now, it will only get worse." Maura said and took a sip of her beer. "Trust me, it will get worse."

"I know it will, and I hate it when you're right!" Jane said.

"I just want you to be happy, to find someone who loves you as much as you will love him." Maura said and put her hand on Jane's hand.

Jane felt strange warmth spreading from where Maura touched her to all of her body. She liked the way Maura touched her, just in the right time, just in the right place, just in the right way. She instinctively smiled when she felt Maura touching her.

"Maur, you have no idea how happy I am that you're here with me." Jane smiled at her best friend, who smiled back at her.

"I think I know, because I'm happy to be with you here just as much as you are." Maura said.

"No, I mean it. There is no one else I would like to be with right now. Not Frankie or Tommy or my mom, not Frost or Korsak or Casey. No one else." Jane said.

"And as much as I'm glad to be with you," Maura said and checked her phone, "you have to go home. To Casey."

"But what the hell am I going to say to him?" Jane was frustrated.

"It's up to you, Jane. Come on." Maura said and stood up. Jane, reluctantly, stood up as well and they went outside and got into Jane's car, since Maura left hers at the station.

"Pick you up in the morning? Around eight?" Jane asked just before Maura got out of her car.

"Yes, that would be great." Maura smiled at her. "Good night."

"Good night Maur." Jane said and hugged her. She waited until she saw Maura close the door and the drove off. She still had no idea what she is about to tell Casey, if she will tell him anything at all. She parked her car in front of the entrance door to the building and went inside. She had no idea what was about to happen, and it scared her.

"Hey, you're home." Casey greeted her when she closed the door behind herself and locked it.

"I'm home." she gave him a weak smile and he came to hug her.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, wrapping his hands around her waists and looking straight into her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just... a long day at work, that's all." she said. She wondered if he will be able to tell it was a lie.

"Well, is there anything I can do? Can I get you a beer or something?" Casey asked.

"No, thank you, I already had a drink with Maura." Jane said. "I just want to go and get some sleep."

"Okay then, good night." he said and leaned closer to kiss her. Jane responded to the kiss, she knew she had to act as if nothing has changed, since she had no intention to have the big conversation today.

"Good night." Jane said and went to the bedroom.

"Ian?" Maura said as she walked in into the living room.

"Hello there." he said, giving her a surprise hug from behind. Maura chuckled and turned around to look at him.

"Hello to you too." she said and wrapped her hands around him. "I'm so sorry I missed dinner, Jane had a problem and she needed me, I just couldn't let her handle it on her own."

"I understand. Well, lucky for you, you didn't miss dinner because I had no time to make one. I got an important phone call around four in the afternoon, and I actually came back about thirty minutes ago." he said and gave her a tender kiss.

Both Maura and Ian had deepened the kiss simultaneously, and then all of a sudden Maura said "Let's go." and took Ian by the hand.

"Where are we going?" he asked, following her.

"The bedroom, now." she said.

"Jane? Are you still up?" Casey walked slowly in the bedroom.

"Yeah." Jane said. "I'm so tired but I just can't fall asleep."

"Want me to hug you until you will?" Casey asked. Jane looked at him. He had a sincere concern in his eyes.

"No, I... I'll fall asleep, eventually." Jane said.

"Do you want me to call Maura? Maybe she could help you." Casey asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and putting his hand on Jane's shoulder.

"No, no, it's okay. Really. I will fall asleep eventually. But thank you." Jane said. Casey gave her a kiss on the forehead and went back to the living room.

She did want him to call Maura, but she knew that it will only make things worse, because Maura was the reason she couldn't fall asleep. Since the moment Jane lied in bed all she could think about was what Maura told her at her office. Both Maura and Frankie told Jane that she wasn't happy with Casey, and that something should be done about it. She thought about the look in Maura's eyes, the honesty and the caring in them. She remembered the warmth she felt when Maura touched her hand, right on the hideous scars Hoyt left on Jane's hands. Jane never let anyone but Korsak and Maura touch her scars, and even when Korsak touched them it felt weird for Jane. Only Maura's touch didn't feel weird, not at all. It felt... good. Like she was loved by someone, and she will always be, no matter what she does, no matter that she chose someone else over Maura.

Jane sighed quietly when she remembered how devastated Maura was when Jane came back from Miami and told her that she chose Casey over her, how brokenhearted she was. Maura had truly loved her, and it seems like even though their friendship is just as it was before they had sex while they were drunk, it will never be the same. At least not to Jane.

Jane remembered Maura, things that she does. The way she smiled at Jane, their unusual eye-contact, the smell of her hair. Jane realized she has a stupid smile on her face only a few minutes later and got scared. Jane have never felt these things to her best friend, even when they slept over a year ago, Jane didn't feel these things to Maura, or at least not as strong as now. She shook her head, as if to shake the thoughts out of her mind, closed her eyes, and fell asleep faster than she had expected.

'"Maura, lay your weight on me, come on. We have to get out of here, fast." Jane said. Maura wrapped her right hand around Jane, laying her weight on her. Her right knee was hurt pretty bad and she could barely stand on it, but she had to keep running. They had to keep running.

She heard the sound of the bullet passing right next to Maura's head. Less than half an inch to the right and Maura would be dead.

"Come on, Maur, we have to go, come on. Just lay you weight on me, we have to get going, we have to get ourselves out of this place."

"Let it go, Jane." Maura said. She was tired, exhausted.

"No, come on, don't give up on me now! You can do it!" Jane said, refusing to let Maura go.

"Jane, I was shot. My knee is too weak to support my body weight, I can barely walk, just leave me here and save yourself." Maura said.

"No! Never! Now come on!" Jane said. There was no chance she would leave Maura to die in this horrible forest, get killed by the horrible people who were chasing them.

"Jane, I'm not going to argue with you, just leave me here. Either way I can't walk anymore, and I'm sure that if I try to run I'll pass out. I will only make it harder for you to save yourself." Maura said, but Jane couldn't care less, she was not going to let Maura die.

"Maura, just stay with me, okay? That's all I need you to do, just stay with me." Jane said.

Another bullet was shot. Jane tried to look around, to see where it hit, but she couldn't find it. She felt all of Maura's body weight on herself and looked to see what happened to her best friend.

Maura was bleeding out from her stomach. Jane immediately stopped and laid her on the ground. She heard they were coming, but she didn't care anymore, now it was all about Maura.

"Jane, go. Save yourself." Maura said.

"No, I'm not leaving you, not this time, not again." Jane said and held Maura's hands. She felt tears coming down her face.

"Jane, stop it, go..." Maura said. Her voice was quiet.

"No, I won't go. I'm not leaving you." Jane said.

"Jane..." Maura said. She closed her eyes and looked so peaceful.

"No, no no no! No! Maura!Maura, wake up! Maura!" Jane yelled. She saw men, a lot of men, holding guns, creating a circle around them, but she couldn't care less. Not when Maura was like that, not when Maura was gone. She wanted to scream, to kill each and every one of those men with her bare hands. She wanted to chase them like they have chased her and Maura, to kill them just like they killed her, a bullet to the knee and then to the stomach. She wanted to hurt them so bad, to make them suffer like they've never suffered before. But instead she just held Maura's hand and laid her head on Maura's chest. She couldn't stop crying, now that she knew Maura was dead, she was gone for good.

"Maura!" Jane yelled, crying.'

"Jane! Wake up!" she felt someone shaking her. She opened her eyes and saw Casey leaning over her, holding her shoulders. He looked terrified, worried.

"W-what happened?" Jane asked. Her voice was shaking and she felt her eyes were wet.

"You started to say Maura's name about ten minutes ago. I thought it was just a regular dream, because sometimes you talk in your sleep, but then you started to scream, to cry." Casey said and helped Jane to sit up. "I didn't know what to do, I tried to talk to you, to shake you, to make you wake up. Nothing helped until now."

Jane didn't know what to say. She have never dreamed about her and Maura running away in a forest, from men who tried to shoot them, to hunt them.

"Jane, what was it? Are you okay?" he asked, putting his hands on Jane's cheeks and wiping her tears with his thumbs.

"It... it was just a nightmare, Casey. Just a terrible nightmare." Jane said, trying to catch her breath. "What time is it?"

"Almost four in the morning." Casey said. "You should go back to sleep, you've had a long day yesterday at work."

"No, I... I think I'll just stay up. I'll go take a shower and then go for a run." Jane said and got up.

"Do you want me to go for a run with you?" Casey asked, not taking his eyes off of her.

"No, I really need some time alone. But thank you." she said.

"Jane, wait." he said before she left the bedroom. Jane turned around to look at him. He stood up and made his way to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Janie, I'm worried sick about you. You came home last night and looked as if someone shot Jo Friday, you went straight to bed but didn't fall asleep until two hours later, and then I need to wake you up in four in the morning because you were crying and screaming Maura's name in your sleep." Casey said. He took a breath. "Jane, what is going on? Talk to me, please!"

"I don't know what's going on, Casey!" Jane almost snapped, but caught herself on time. "I really don't know. I've never been more honest with you than now."

"Something is obviously bothering you, upsetting you. I'm your husband, Jane, you can talk to me."

"I can't, Casey. I can't. I can't tell you what is it because I don't what is it." Jane really snapped this time. She wasn't mad, not angry, just upset. She almost started to cry again.

"Okay, okay." Casey said. He pulled her closer and hugged her, moving his hand up and down over her hair. Jane hugged him back and put her head on his shoulder. She couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face again, and she couldn't stop thinking how much she wanted Maura to hug her right now instead of Casey.