AN: Here's a little something to take your mind off of the heaviness that is Muir's Law! Enjoy!
When Rachel came home and found the kids gone and her favorite meal set out, with candles and wine and flowers, she knew something was up. Not that Quinn didn't surprise her with romantic things like that, but there was something different about it this time. Something felt very 'odd' about the whole thing and it made Rachel wonder what trophy of hers Quinn had broken or what she'd allowed the kids to do that she was making up for. Then she noticed that Quinn's smile wasn't as full as normal, and the way she was fidgeting. Something was definitely going on.
She was right. Halfway through dinner Quinn quietly announced that she would be gone for four months. Not just out of state, not merely across the country, but out of the country.
To Afghanistan.
For one hundred and twenty days.
It was as if the world completely stopped. Quinn wasn't a soldier, so Rachel was understandably confused. Even when her wife explained why she was going overseas, she still had a hard time comprehending what was happening.
Quinn left five days later and with her departure Rachel fell into some sort of other-reality. One where she was a single parent as well as a famous award winning singer and actress. The stress started to build the moment she gave Quinn a farewell kiss and the kids waved goodbye. Half her heart was gone to the other side of the world and the sudden emptiness threw her for a loop. She hadn't felt this disconnected since that awful night all those years before when Quinn had been shot.
Rachel leaned heavily on her friends and family to keep from completely losing her mind. They helped with the kids and came over all the time; her father's even flew up to visit for a whole week. She had no idea how military families could handle an entire year without loved ones. It was so heartbreaking and terrifying. No matter how much she loved her friends and her family for keeping close and holding her up, they couldn't compare. She wanted Quinn back. Having support was excellent and it did help, but she wanted to go home after her show and find Quinn asleep on the couch waiting for her, not Anna reading a book in the recliner. There were no arms to fall into after a long day, no text messages reminding her to eat, no gardenias waiting in her dressing room for her. The longer Quinn was away the more Rachel felt her absence, it wasn't like she eventually adjusted to not having Quinn there. Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it also left a noticeable hole in her life.
Caleb kept telling everyone that his Mama was in 'Again-istan', and showed off the picture Quinn had sent him of her next to a humvee. She was wearing a flak vest and aviators, and she looked like a soldier to him. He didn't understand that his Mama wasn't fighting or winning a war. To him Quinn was basically a GI Joe now and he couldn't have been prouder - except maybe if she had been a Jedi. Quinn had told him the day she left that it was now his job to look after his sisters and take care of Rachel. He took that duty very seriously, and Rachel loved him even more for it. Watching him adopt Quinn's mannerisms was just adorable. He was still a little boy missing his mother though, and after the first month Rachel wasn't surprised to find him crawling into bed with her every night. She was actually grateful for it. He helped to fill the massive void in her heart with his tangled, simple sentences, the expert quirk in his eyebrow, and the way he slept next to her, sprawled out like a starfish.
Even with the sporadic Skyping, calls, and letters, Rachel still felt incomplete. Every morning she woke up and it wasn't Quinn's blonde hair on the pillow next to her. She wasn't there groggily slapping at her alarm and making Rachel laugh with sloppy kisses and tickle fights. Quinn's laughter and smile were gone. The kids were now asking constantly when Mama was coming home. Saying Rachel didn't read the stories like Mama did. Dinner tasted better when Mama made it. Mama let them do this and that.
It was frustrating, and it hurt because Rachel missed Quinn, too. Desperately.
Things really came to a head the night before Eliza's piano recital; Liv was angry and upset because Rachel was braiding her hair 'wrong'. She started crying and yelling that she wanted Quinn until Rachel couldn't take it anymore, snapping that Quinn wasn't there.
Immediately the room went quiet, and Rachel couldn't even look at Liv because it hurt that much. Then Liv, eyes glued to the ground, let out tremulous 'I hate you' and fled the room.
As soon as the door closed Rachel collapsed down onto her side, clutching Quinn's pillow and sobbing. It was like a never ending stream, pouring from her so hard the bed was shaking with the force of it. She cried and cried until her throat was hoarse and her chest ached. The pillow under her head was soaked, her hair was soaked, and her jaw ached from biting down on her finger to try and muffle the sounds she was helplessly making.
She jerked in surprise when something soft patted her face, and struggled to open her eyes back up. It was Caleb, looking down at her with a frown that reminded her too much of Quinn in that moment. He climbed up onto the bed with her without a second of hesitation, and forced her to scoot backwards, curling up against her chest.
"She's sorry, Mommy," he said in his cute, childish voice. His vocabulary was growing fast but he still couldn't say his 'R's' correctly, and some words came out garbled. Rachel was so thankful for him and his funny words, but she couldn't talk around the hiccups that continued to rack her. All she could do was hold onto him. "Love you," he whispered, and she laughed brokenly at the 'lub'.
"Love you so much," she got out, gasping in a deep breath. "So much, Caleb."
"I love you mucher," he said earnestly and smacked a kiss to her wet cheek. "No more crying, kay? I promised Mama." He looked up at her with big hazel-green eyes set in his pale little face, blond hair falling over his forehead. His eyebrow started to lift and his mouth started to twitch up into Quinn's lopsided smile, and she couldn't do anything more than hold on to him and nod through her tears that she would stop crying.
She was almost asleep, Caleb clutched in her arms like a teddy bear, when Liv and Eliza came back into the room. Liv with puffy eyes and a trembling lip and Eliza unwilling to make eye contact.
"I'm sorry, Mommy," Liv said, already crying. "I didn't mean it. I just really miss Mama."
"I know, baby, I miss her too," Rachel said, voice rough. "Come here, both of you."
They rushed forward, clambering up the tall bed to join Caleb. He refused to move from his place in front of Rachel, so they wasted no time climbing over him to battle for Quinn's pillow. Liv ended up snuggled into Rachel's side, content to use her shoulder for a pillow while Eliza got the actual pillow. Rachel had to twist her neck at an almost unnatural angle to see Eliza over Liv's head, but what she saw nearly started the flood all over again - quiet, shy Eliza wrapped around Quinn's pillow with a thoughtful look on her face. She caught Rachel's gaze and ducked her head into the soft cotton.
"I wish Mama were here," she said into the white lump.
"Me too," Rachel whispered, untangling her hand from under Liv to stretch for Eliza.
Rachel had three small bodies wrapped around her all through the night, and she woke to bony elbows in her ribs, feet against her back, and the feeling that she was far too hot, but she almost started crying again she was so happy. They were so big now - growing up so fast - and she could still remember bringing them home for the first time. Caleb used to be able to sleep on her chest without squashing her and now he was practically smothering her, but she laid there content for the moment, listening to their heavy breathing and feeling the occasional twitch. It almost reminded her of before the twins were born, feeling those first kicks and jabs. Then there were first steps, first words, and the drama of the first loose tooth. Now here they were, crowded against her, taking care of her, and Rachel was completely overwhelmed. On instinct she turned towards Quinn's side of the bed to mention it to her wife only to be faced with reality once again. She had to smile though, even if she didn't feel like it, because instead of Quinn she saw Eliza with her face pressed so deep into the pillow she wondered how her baby could possibly be breathing. Eliza who still had her hand in Rachel's, weakly holding her grip of Rachel's ring finger in her sleep.
"Look what we did, Quinn," Rachel murmured, watching all three children sleep on without a care in the world. "They're perfect."
She woke them all up eventually and patiently listened to their grumbles until breakfast had been had and everyone cheered up. Liv apologized again, and Rachel talked to her for a long time about how it felt to hear 'I hate you' and how she felt about missing Quinn. It went better than she'd been expecting. Rachel loved her - loved all of them so fiercely - and even knowing that Liv didn't mean it, it still hurt her badly. Liv's eyes had grown so wide as Rachel talked to her about how she'd loved both girls the moment she knew they were inside her, and then she'd hugged Rachel so tightly it was almost painful.
"I just - I miss Mama and I'm mad that they made her go," Liv said, still holding strongly to Rachel's neck.
"This is part of her job, Livvy," Rachel explained, smoothing her palm across Liv's shoulders. "I don't like it either, but she's doing it to keep us all safe, okay? As much as I miss her I'm very proud of the work she's doing."
"I'm proud of her, too," Liv said. She pulled away and turned her chin up to look Rachel in the eye. "But I don't want her to get hurt. Natalie's daddy lost his leg when he was over there and I'm scared it could happen to Mama."
"This is very different," Rachel said, swallowing back her own anxiety over the thought. It had kept her up enough nights, but she didn't need to further alarm Liv. She'd been having nightmares off and on about Quinn dying for years, but now she didn't have Quinn there when she woke up to soothe those fears. Liv didn't need to have those same nightmares. "She's not in a war. She's just doing some work with the embassy and she's perfectly safe."
"Promise?" Liv asked, dark eyes daring Rachel to deny her. All three kids had learned early on that getting her and Quinn to promise was the best way to secure the truth; neither of them would break a promise if they could help it.
"Baby," Rachel said slowly, licking at her lips as she tried to find the right words. She took Liv's hands gently in her own and tried to read Liv's solemn face. "I can't promise that - I want to - but nothing is certain. What I can say is that in my heart I know she's going to be fine. She's in a very secure location and there are soldiers and guards there to keep her safe so she can come back home to us. I know it's hard but we have to have some faith."
Liv stared at her, so deeply it was almost off putting, but Rachel held her gaze and tried to put all of her trust in Quinn's well being into her expression.
"Okay," Liv finally said. "Can I watch a movie?"
Rachel sighed and nodded with a small smile. "Sure, will you take Caleb in there with you?"
"Do I have to?" Liv groaned, stalking off when Rachel merely raised her eyebrows in response. "Fine. Caleb!"
They still had a recital to get to, and Eliza was so horribly nervous that Rachel spent the rest of the day coaching her and doing everything she could to get her ready.
"You're going to be perfect, Lady Bug," Rachel said confidently, sitting next to Eliza at their piano. Eliza frowned down at the keys then at her music.
Sighing, Eliza leaned into Rachel's side. "I have butterflies though. Lots of people are going to be there and I wish Mama was here. She never missed a recital before."
"I'm going to record it for her," Rachel said. She ran a hand lovingly over Eliza's shiny dark hair and bent to kiss Eliza's temple. "I know she wished she could be here too, but she'll be home soon and we'll all watch it together."
"Maybe we could play something together next time?" Eliza asked, pushing down on a couple of keys.
"I would love that!" Rachel agreed, grinning at the idea.
"Okay," Eliza whispered and looked up at Rachel. "I should go get ready."
"What are you going to wear?" Rachel asked, continuing to toy with Eliza's hair.
"My yellow dress," Eliza said, stretching dainty fingers up to touch the pendant hanging around Rachel's neck. "The matching headband and the shoes Mama got me."
"That'll be pretty, Elza," Rachel told her and then without a second's pause reached up and undid the clasp on her necklace. "I think this will make the outfit though."
"This is yours," Eliza argued faintly, but allowed Rachel to pull her hair from her neck and put the necklace on her.
"Your mama gave this to me a long time ago," Rachel explained, tapping her fingers against the star. "It means more to me than just a symbol of my faith. It's like I have her with me all the time, even when we're apart. I think you should wear it and have her with you on stage tonight."
"I miss her a lot," Eliza said, holding the star in her palm almost tenderly. She closed her fingers around it and held it to her chest. "Thank you. I promise I'll keep it safe."
Rachel had cried more in the last four months then ever in her life, so she wasn't surprised to feel the prick of tears and have her vision blur as she looked at her little girl. "I know you will. I'm very proud of you - we both are. So proud."
"I know, Mommy," Eliza turned and hugged Rachel fiercely. "Will you help me get ready?"
"Absolutely."
They all rode to the school in Rachel's beloved mini-cooper; Eliza got the most coveted front seat and control of the stereo because it was her 'big night'. She didn't do much with the radio though, instead opting to leave the CD in. It was one that Quinn had made for all of them before she left. Rachel beamed at Caleb and Liv in the backseat, listening to them both sing along.
"Mommy, does Mama come home soon?" Caleb asked, stopping his singing to scrutinize Rachel's reflection.
"Yeah, Peanut, real soon," Rachel assured him. She'd only been marking the calendar with giant red exes, counting down the days. Liv had even asked if they could make a chain out of construction paper like they did for Christmas. Which Rachel had agreed to, of course. Caleb didn't really have a great grasp on time, five minutes in time out felt like a lifetime to him; four months was an eternity to be separated from his mother. "Next weekend she'll be home."
"Can we has a party? Like the people at the airport w-with the signs?" Caleb looked at her so hopefully it made her chest ache.
He was, of course, referring to the signs of families eagerly awaiting the return of loved ones. Rachel wondered how Quinn would feel about all the attention, but all three kids were staring at her now.
"You think she would like that?" she asked, smoothly pulling into a parking space and then smiling at them.
"Yeah!" All three chimed in unison, complete with fists in the air from Caleb and then cheers from Liv and Eliza.
"A pink one," Liv said, nodding sagely. "With big yellow letters for Ellie and blue stars for Caleb."
"We'll see what I can do, okay?" Rachel gathered her purse up from the floor and jumped when she heard a car horn. Twisting to look out the window she saw Ryan and Allison in their car next to them. "Look who's here, Elza!"
"Uncle Ryan!" Liv cried, struggling to unbuckle her seatbelt.
He appeared to hear her and gallantly stepped forward to open the door for her. "M'lady," he said, holding his arm out for her.
Rachel smothered a grin at Liv's crush, and exited the vehicle to help a struggling Caleb out of his seat. He had insisted on wearing his suit and having his blond hair carefully done. Quinn called him a miniature James Bond when he wore it, and even though he only vaguely knew who James Bond was, he had latched on to the complement and oozed 'secret agent' charm whenever he put it on.
God help them when he actually was old enough to see those movies.
"Hey, little man, aren't you a charmer," Allison greeted, reaching out her hand for him to take.
Caleb smiled politely and accepted her hand, but then immediately reached for Rachel as well. Still so adamant about keeping his promise to Quinn. As much as he adored his Aunt Allison, he was all about his Mommy, who definitely couldn't be trusted to walk anywhere without holding his hand.
Ryan swooped in and scrunched down to be eye to eye with a furiously blushing Eliza. "You look like a princess, Eliza."
Eliza held tightly to the star against her chest and timidly took Ryan's thumb with her free hand. "Thank you, Uncle Ryan."
With the family all gathered they started up into the school, Ryan gently coaxing a few sentences out of Eliza. Liv was more than happy to chat his ear off, tugging at him to get his attention. Eliza had a nervous little smile on her face, and mostly just nodded or shook her head instead of speaking. She'd never been much of a talker, tending to withdraw when she was nervous. It worried Quinn, but Rachel assured her that it was okay. Eliza wasn't quite as dramatic about it, but Rachel often fought to keep from doing something similar; she'd been known to stick herself in a corner when she was nervous to try and find some internal calm.
The auditorium was dimly lit, cool, and not overly full. People were still trickling in and most clumped near the front of the stage, conversing quietly and chasing younger kids. Ryan let go of Eliza's hand and herded his wife, Caleb, and Liv into a row while Rachel took Eliza backstage.
"Okay, Lady Bug," Rachel said, smoothing back Eliza's hair and tugging at her earlobe with a soft smile. "You're going to be amazing. I'm so very proud of you and all the hard work you put into this. I can't wait for everyone to see how special you are and show your Mama the video."
"I love you," Eliza said, her game face firmly affixed. "I won't let you down."
"You never could," Rachel said and bent to kiss the top of Eliza's head. "Break a leg."
Swiping at her eyes, Rachel wandered back out to the auditorium and took her seat next to Caleb who grasped her hand once again. Soon enough the lights went down even further and the lights on stage came up, shining off the gleaming black piano. Rachel felt the first flutter of nerves in her stomach, almost like she was the one about to go on stage. She wondered how Eliza was holding up and wished again for Quinn's calm presence.
Eliza's piano teacher came on stage first, grinning from ear to ear as she welcomed the families and friends of her students. Rachel glanced down and saw Caleb watching very intently; his eyes, so reminiscent of Quinn's, didn't miss a thing. He turned and glanced up at her curiously, his left eyebrow arching. "Does Eliza go first?"
"Well, let's look at the program," Rachel whispered back and opened the pamphlet to show him. "She's about half way down."
He nodded and leaned closer to her, pillowing his head on her arm as best he could with the armrest in the way.
The first student of many came out, took a deep bow and settled on the bench. Rachel had to stifle giggles at the boy's hair. It reminded her of Sam Evans' 'Bieber' stage. He kept twitching his head to throw his floppy bangs out of his face. Eventually he got to where he could see through his hair and music filled the room, the soft tinkle of piano notes warming Rachel's very soul. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, reminding herself not to hum as she let herself get lost.
Three more students came and went from the stage and then finally it was Eliza's turn. The whole row erupted into cheers, whistles, and applause, and a decidedly embarrassed Eliza blushed so hard it was visible even from the audience. She waved meekly at her hooting family, fixed her hair, curtsied, and took her seat.
Rachel took a deep breath right along with Eliza and willed all of her strength to her daughter.
Right before Eliza hit the first key Rachel heard the rustling of clothes, noticing that someone was standing at the end of the row.
Annoyance spiked as she turned to glare at the latecomer, more than prepared to righteously admonish the rude person, only to nearly fall out of her seat in shock.
Quinn. She looked tired and thinner than ever, with dark circles under her eyes and rumpled clothes that looked like she'd been wearing them for days.
But it was Quinn.
Completely forgetting where she was, Rachel shrieked - shrieked, as only a Broadway star is so loudly capable of - and threw herself at her wife. Her arms and legs wound around Quinn like a child as she buried her face in Quinn's neck, bursting into tears and laughter at the same time.
"Rachel," Quinn said, stumbling slightly and sounding as exhausted as she looked.
Rachel put her feet back on the ground before she fully toppled Quinn over, touching Quinn's face and running her fingers through her hair, and in full view of the curious strangers staring at them, deeply kissed her wife.
"How - I - how?" She asked when the need for air forced her to break away.
"I got to come home early," Quinn said simply, locking her arms around Rachel's trembling form and pulling her close. "You know I try not to ever miss one of their concerts."
"I missed you so much," Rachel cried, trying to burrow deeper into the warm body she'd been missing for so long.
"I missed you, too." Quinn was shaking, bony hands running up and down Rachel's spine. "God, I missed you all."
"Caleb," Rachel suddenly said, whirling around to see him standing behind her, face completely stoic. She stepped out of the way so he could see Quinn fully and watched him stay frozen.
"Peanut," Quinn said and dropped to her knees.
That seemed to be what he was waiting for, as he launched forward and dove into Quinn, mimicking Rachel's earlier exuberance and wrapping his arms and legs around his mother. He dropped his head to her shoulder and squeezed. Quinn started crying then, rocking him from side to side, holding tightly.
Liv came running next, slamming into Quinn's side. Quinn loosed one arm from around Caleb and drew Liv in closer, kissing the side of her head and then Caleb's. "I love you guys, so, so much."
"Mama?" Eliza called loudly from the stage, completing the scene they were causing in the midst of her recital. She was standing at the end of the stage in her little yellow dress, hand wound once more in the necklace Rachel had lent her. "Mama!"
The entire crowd gasped as one Elizabeth Jane Fabray leapt off the stage and came racing up to where her family was gathered.
Quinn let go of Liv and Caleb, shakily got to her feet, and went to meet Eliza half way.
Eliza kept saying 'Mama' over and over as she jumped up into Quinn's arms. "I knew you'd come!"
Everyone was gaping at them, probably in shock and confused as to what the hell was going on, and Rachel couldn't have cared less about the gossip that would most likely follow. Not when her family was finally all back together again.
Not with Quinn finally safe and home again.
"I will always do everything I can to never disappoint you," Quinn whispered to Eliza. "You look so pretty, baby."
"I'm so glad you're home," Eliza said, clutching handfuls of shirt at Quinn's shoulders.
"I am too," Quinn said, already carrying Eliza back towards the stage. "Will you do me a favor?"
"Anything," Eliza promised.
Quinn set Eliza back up on the edge of the stage, careful to steady her before letting go and stepping back. "Will you play for me? I came a really long way to hear you."
Eliza bit into her bottom lip and nodded. "Yes, I will. For you."
"I love you, and I'm so proud of you," Quinn told her, and backed away from the stage with a dorky thumbs up.
Rachel grabbed for Quinn the second she was back within range and kissed her again, unable to believe it was all really happening. "I can't believe you. How did you do this?"
"They had room on a military flight. Millward approved me to come back early and it all just came together. As soon as we landed I took a cab here. My bags are in the back of the room," Quinn explained, smiling lopsidedly as she pointed behind her.
It took all the restraint Rachel had left to not crawl into Quinn's lap when they sat down. Caleb didn't have any such hesitation, planting himself in Quinn's lap and leaned heavily into her as Eliza took her place once again. They had to do some quick shuffling as Liv hotly protested not getting to sit next to Quinn, finally settling so Liv was hugging one of Quinn's arms and Rachel had hold of the other while Caleb sat sideways on her lap.
Ryan and Allison leaned over, both grinning from ear to ear. "Welcome back, Qball," Ryan said, ruffling Quinn's hair. "The office hasn't been the same without you."
"You better have left my office alone," Quinn warned playfully.
"I'm going to miss the view," he said with a wink.
"You have been sorely missed," Allison added, clamping a hand over Ryan's mouth before he could antagonize Quinn further. "I can't wait to hear all about your trip... or what you can tell us."
"It wasn't that exciting," Quinn said. "It was hotter than you would believe, and uh... sandy. But I have pictures and a few stories I can share later."
"Maybe this weekend you guys could come over for dinner?" Allison offered.
Rachel pulled Quinn's arm tighter against her and peered up at her wife, seeing what their friends must also have noticed: the dark shadows under Quinn's eyes and the sharpness of her cheekbones stood out in the low light. Ryan shot Rachel a knowing look, which she interpreted as deserved concern. She nodded, careful to keep the movement small so Quinn wouldn't notice, letting him know she understood, and then leaned up to kiss Quinn's jaw. It wasn't any sort of chore to take care of Quinn, and as sad as Rachel was to see Quinn so worn down, she was very ready to get her home and love on her.
Eliza, still sitting on stage, stared into the crowd and gnawed on her lip, fingers hesitantly splayed out over the keys.
"You got this, Lady Bug," Quinn called loudly, offering another thumbs up.
Ryan whooped and Allison let loose an ear splitting whistle, and with another deep breath, Eliza tucked her hair behind her ears, returned her hands to starting position, and began to play.
Quinn was drained by the time they got home and Rachel could see it getting harder and harder for her to stay awake. Both eyes were bloodshot and every time she got a moment of peace they would close and her head would droop forward - only to snap up again when someone clamored for her attention. The kids showed no such signs of slowing down at all. They were rushing back and forth showing her new things they'd gotten and telling her stories. Quinn was trying valiantly, but watching her struggle Rachel knew she'd have to cut them off eventually; there was no way Quinn was going to deny them. They were so excited and Quinn looked so happy to see them that it almost broke Rachel's heart to think about sending them to bed, but when Quinn's chin hit her chest for a third time, she knew it was bedtime for everyone.
"Mama, look what I can do!" Liv pleaded, yanking on Quinn's hands. Quinn smiled dazedly and nodded that she was, indeed, watching as Liv sucked in a deep breath and proceeded to do a handstand in the middle of their living room.
"Wow, Monkey, you're so strong," Quinn gushed, much to Liv's joy.
Liv flopped to the floor just as Caleb came in at a dead run from the kitchen, holding his new rollerskates to show, and Eliza from the 'music' room with her new sheet music. They were just so excited that 'Mama' was home.
Rachel swooped in and announced bedtime, and despite the whining protests from all three children she didn't waver, pointing up the stairs. "She'll still be here in the morning, babies. Let her rest; she came a long way today," she told them, ushering them up the steps with a small smile. Liv and Eliza stomped up the stairs, constantly turning to look back at Quinn as though she might vanish if they didn't keep an eye on her.
Caleb cracked then, dropping his skates onto the floor. He'd been doing so well for four months, but it was too much then. He started crying and ran back to Quinn, climbing up the couch and cuddling into her. "Don't go!"
"Peanut," Quinn murmured, exhaustedly running her fingers through his hair. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here when you wake up."
"Promise?" He begged, his whole face trembling and flushed bright pink.
"I promise," Quinn said, kissing his forehead. "I'm going to be here. We'll do something special tomorrow, okay? Just you and me. You were so brave for me and you took great care of your sisters and your Mommy. I owe you, buddy; I owe you big time."
He took a big gasping breath, then kissed her cheek and went up the stairs after his sisters without another word of protest.
"I'll come tuck you in soon," Rachel told him, then turned back to Quinn.
"Will you tuck me in?" Quinn asked, blinking heavily.
"Baby," Rachel shook her head. "I'm going to sleep on top of you so you can't possibly slip away."
"Never," Quinn said, heaving herself off the couch. "I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. I've been dying a little every morning waking up without you. I can't wait to open my eyes and see your snoring face pressed into the pillow next to me."
Rachel's eyes welled up again. "I can't believe you're home."
"I know, me either," Quinn held up her arm and Rachel quickly ducked under it, wrapping a supporting arm around Quinn to help her up the steps. "I've been dreaming of this for months."
"I think you spent too much time dreaming and not enough eating," Rachel said worriedly, feeling the sharpness of Quinn's hip under her palm. "Didn't they feed you?"
"They did, I just worked it all off," Quinn explained quietly. "Or maybe sweated it off. You have no idea, Rachel. It was like being on another planet."
Together they went into the twins' room and said their goodnights, each delivering goodnight kisses. Then into Caleb's room to do the same. He sniffled and clung to Quinn's neck for a long time, Bebo right in there with him. Quinn promised him again that she would be there when he woke up and kissed his towhead, even sparing a peck for Bebo.
Finally Quinn was back in their bedroom and Rachel couldn't contain her happiness. She helped her wife pull off her rumpled clothes, shaking her head at the sight of ribs and hips. No new scars though, and that was such a relief. Rachel sighed and traced her fingers down the lines of muscle on Quinn's stomach, smiling to herself when she found that ticklish spot on her wife's side that made those muscles twitch.
Quinn smiled lopsidedly and pulled Rachel's hands away from her skin. "It'll come back fast, don't worry."
"I'm allowed to worry. I've been worrying for four months," Rachel argued, pulling Quinn's sleep shirt over her head.
Once changed and nestled together under cool sheets and their fluffy comforter, Quinn reached out and touched Rachel's face, reverently tracing her fingers over eyebrows, down Rachel's nose, then across her lips. "I wish I had more energy," she confessed, then pulled Rachel closer and rolled so her wife was sprawled out on top of her.
"There's always tomorrow," Rachel said, nuzzling against Quinn's warm chest with a sigh.
"And the day after and the one after that," Quinn replied, voice dropping off as her eyes closed.
"Forever," Rachel murmured and squeezed Quinn just a little tighter.
END