AN: I really hope you enjoy it! Small fight scene too! But first how about a comment special?
Comment Special/Short 1! Technically 2
"Hello there everyone I'm Riza Hawkeye...er Roy Mustang" said Riza
"And his bunny" giggled Roy in a sexy bunny suit. Men stare, nose bleeds.
"Take it off" growled Riza.
"Oh Roy such a player" he cooed and lowered a strap.
Riza jumped at him, "You are a disgrace to me and all women!"
Havoc slides in and says, "Well don't know what that's all about, but I do have a review. Ahem, this is from tinytokirabbit7, 'Havoc is undeniably awesome xD he tries the hardest, so he gets a prize for effort! *claps for havoc ^ ^* admittedly i did think fuery would do better than him, though.. hell i'd go on a date with either of them :D but i like the idea of sheska with fuery :))'" Havoc paused.
"Yes I am awesome and I can do anything better then Fuery can!" exclaimed Havoc.
"No you can't" replied Breda.
"Yes I can!"
"No you can't"
"Yesss I cannnnnnnn!"
Ed walked in and stared, "Enough singing I'll finish the review, '…Roy and Riza is the best Fullmetal Alchemist pairing, NO QUESTION. then Ed and winry 3 I sympathize with Ed, being a fellow short person!!'"
"One, Winry's not my girlfriend!!" he yelled with a blush, "And two, who you calling a shrimp that Roy would eat with his cocktail!!?"
"It didn't say that" said everyone.
"Right" laughed Ed nervously and he read the rest of the review, "Wait, did we kill Mustang?" he said with an evil smirk.
"I want to read the next one" pleaded Al and Ed handed him a letter, "Okay this is part of Axis Bold As Love's review, 'When you mentioned the old man and the hat stand, all i could think of was "ancient chinese secret", about an old, funny chinese geezer.'"
"Brother is there China in Fullmetal Alchemist?" asked Al.
"I think so; I don't know I only paid attention to science in school!"
"Hmmm...maybe he was"
"Okay me next" said Breda, "This one's from first lieutenant riza hawkeye" Breda stops and looks at Roy, "Riza?"
"Not me I swear! Ow! Fine I'll change!" he yelped.
"'dear roy and riza…, I LUV YAH Su MUCH *in english* I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! to havoc?, ahahaha! It's good to win! good luck jean! you'll need it!...'"
Roy changed back in military uniform and Riza is by his side, "Thank you" they said.
Havoc hanged his head, "I'm crushed"
Breda laughs.
Havoc holds up Black Hayate, "I've had it with you Breda, be afraid of my black Hayate fury!"
"AHH!! Keep that monster away from me!!" Breda screamed and ran from Havoc.
"My turn" said a dark figure.
"Who are you?" questioned Roy.
"Oh sorry the lighting is bad over here" he said and stepped into the light.
"Scar!" screamed Ed.
"Wait aren't you the alchemist killer?" asked Roy.
"Just let me read a review or I'll blow your face off!"
Roy hands him letter.
"This is from Drangonridingattorney43, hmmm...I need an attorney...moving on, '"I want to learn the 'I hate paperwork' song! Teach me Roy!'" he read monotone, "What? I don't get you people" and he walked away.
"I will teach you!" exclaimed Roy.
"Sir you just let a murderer go back on the streets" Riza pointed out.
"This is more important! Okay this is a difficult song and you will never be able to master it like I have, though it will sound worse since I'm in Riza's body" he said and Riza glared.
Roy cleared his throat, "Paperwork fills my desk every morning, and I feel like moaning. I hate this stuff, I hate paper work, I hate paper paper paaaaappperrrworrrkkk! The word makes my tongue swell, I hope it goes to hell! That would be day, the day all paperwork will die a painful death. So until till then, I-I hate paper----workkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That was the worse song I ever heard" commented Riza.
"Just wait till I get a Grammy!"
"Just read a review sir"
"This is from Dark-Lady-Hel, 'Finally, the truth revealed itself... Edward Elric was guilty.
Wew.. I bet Roy (in Riza's body) will shoot him square at the forehead... hehehe, I want to see Ed in bloody body and head *evil laugh*...'" Roy stops and laughs evilly too, "I love it!"
"That was scary" said a shaken Ed and he stepped back, 'Two people out to get me'
"My turn, this is from AliasAurora…Everyone out!"Riza s tops reading and pushes them out door, locks it.
"' I had an o.O moment at the beginning of the chapter when Riza and Roy were checking each other out, because I was like, "Umm, haven't you seen all of this? Like, every day of your life since you were born?" If it were me switching bodies with somebody I was attracted to, I would be more interested in the body I'd been changed into, not the one I'd changed out of.'"
"Should we explain?" asked Riza and Roy nodded.
"Well ever since I got in Roy's body I have his play boyish attitude, all girls all the time. I can't feel attracted to the body I'm in, though if I'm in my body…" she finished while blushing.
"Adding to that it's the same, I don't feel a thing when I look at a naked woman, Where has the world come to!?, Only when I look at Riza...er...myself, okay now it does seem kinda wrong"
"Stop having yaoi/yuri moments in there and let us in!" yelled Ed.
"We are not!" yelled Roy back and Riza let them back in.
"My turn?" asked Fuery.
"Sure" said Roy, "Since you're not in the main story this time, knock yourself out"
"What?"
"Nothing, now read"
"This is from buffybest, 'Of course we love Havoc, he's funny, smart (when he's in serious mode of course) and really charming (but not as much as Roy ...^^)'"
"Hey how come I always lose to Roy?" asked Havoc.
"Cause colonel Mustang is a sexy beast" moaned Roy and Riza slapped him in the head.
Liliana walks in and hugs him, "I think you're more funny, smart and sexy than Mustang, Jean"
Havoc smiles and blushes."Can I read another one?"
"No" demanded Roy.
"This is from Katsukun, 'Aw Havoc's so cute when he's in pain :3 Tee hee, I love You Lieutenant Havoc xD'" Havoc commented, "Love you too, love all my fans" blows them kisses.
"I could have told you that Jean" smirked Liliana as she snuggled him, "My turn! This is from lulukiryu, 'Riza and Roy must've had fun~ ;) It's nice that Ed'll get them back to normal though~
*Tosses a rose at Havoc* Until next time! Good luck with your date~'"
Roy and Riza blushed at the commented.
Breda asked, "What's wrong with Roy and Riza and why is Ed helping them?" Fuery shurged.
"That's a good one!" laughed Ed.
Havoc catches rose in mouth, "Thanks again!"
"Mmmm…now you're sexy" Liliana purred and Havoc growled seductively back.
"Hey we have children here!" yelled Riza, pointing to Ed and Al.
"Scar sign us out, this short isn't even short anymore!" Roy shouted.
Scar comes back, "Read the fanfic or I'll blow your face off"
"Scar!" yelled everyone.
"I mean...enjoy!" he said in monotone.
"Enjoy!" they all shouted.
"AHH! Monster!" yelled Breda, running away from Black Hayate.
-End of not so short short-
Thanks reviewers, sorry to people I didn't pick-ramenwriter15
An Out of Body Experience Chapter 12: Edward on the Run!
Roy sat in a chair back in the office and growled while his arms were crossed. Riza looked down at him and sighed.
"Yes?"
"It's that Fullmetal always screwing things up and getting me in sticky situations" he snarled.
"He said he would fix this" replied Riza.
"I still don't trust him"
"Nonsense he will" said Riza as she walked over to the window. What she saw made her freeze. Ed was crawling on the ground trying to keep himself concealed and Al was carrying a bush to disguise himself, but it just wasn't working out. Riza filled with anger.
"Roy...go get him" she growled.
"With pleasure" he smirked while cracking his knuckles.
Meanwhile with Ed and Al, who are trying to escape successfully.
"Brother? Why can't we just help them? It is your fault" asked Al.
"Al, when do I ever freely help the colonel?"
"Well…never really"
"So why should I help him now? He insults me and threatens me"
"It just doesn't seem fair"
Ed fired back, "We need to keep looking Al, I don't know when times up. You're my first priority"
"Umm...Nii-san..." he interrupted.
"I'm not finished yet Al"
"But Nii-san..." he whined as he glanced behind.
"Just wait to I finish Al…Where was I?"
"Fullmetal!" screamed Roy as he tackled Ed to the ground and shoved his face into the dirt below. Ed murmured into the ground. Riza walked up behind Al. Al dropped his bush and franticly said,
"I'm sorry it wasn't my idea promise. Brother and I are really sorry"
Riza patted Al's metal back and replied, "I forgive you Al, though for your brother it's a different story"
"Stupid shrimp" growled Roy and he lifted Ed's head from the dirt.
Edward spit dirt out of his mouth and breathed heavily. "I..'m no...t short..!" he shout with deep breathes in between.
"Shut up kid" sneered Roy, "Or I'll break your arms" Roy held Edward's arms behind his back so he wouldn't try any alchemy.
'Dang it, think of something Elric!' he yelled in his head. He looked around and then light bulb moment! Without anyone noticing Ed took a twig that laid nearby into his mouth and drew a transmutation circle.
Riza caught a glimpse then yelled, "Watch out!"
Riza's warning hit too late, because the next thing Ed did was press his head into it. There was a flash and wet mud balls shoot into Roy's face, blocking his eye sight. Roy's grip on Ed loosened enough for him to squirm out and start running.
"C'mon Al!" Ed screamed to his brother.
"Al don't" warned Riza as she held his arm.
"I'm sorry" he said as he pushed her to the ground, which would overpower anyone and took off running after Ed.
"Brother we're not going to make it" Al yelled franticly.
"Trust me Al!" Ed answered.
Roy quickly wiped the mud from his eyes and cursed. "If he thinks I'm going down that easily he's a fool!"
Roy pulled out the gun from the holster on the side of his hip. He fired one shot, hitting Edward in the butt.
Edward felt like something came up and bit him. Before he knew it he fell on the ground and cursed, "Great son of a chimera!"
"What?" asked Al as he stopped?
"Oh f*** it hurts! I was turning not to swear!" he groaned in pain
"Nice shot" commented Riza as the two of them ran to Edward.
"I learned from the best" he replied and winked.
"Is brother going to be okay?" asked a worried Al.
"Yah, it's just a butt wound" insured Riza.
"Sad that this made you go down Shorty and you're the Fullmetal Alchemist" retorted Roy.
"Who said I was done!' he shouted and kick the gun out of Roy's hands and jumped up. Roy cursed mentally and shook his hand for it hurt. The gun slid across the ground out of Roy's reach.
"Hopeless now without your alchemy now" smiled Ed and he clapped his hands together.
Riza cursed to herself, "These men and revenge" She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out one of Roy's gloves. Riza slipped it on and snapped, but all that happened was a little spark. 'I'm missing the alchemy part. If Roy can have perfect aim with a gun than I can use alchemy' Then it came to her, the how. This time when she snapped her fingers fire shot at Edward.
Edward was staring face to face with fire, so his first reaction was to scream and duck. The fire burn off part of Ed's antenna.
"Brother are you okay!?" shouted Al.
"No…I lost my height advantage" he whined and the next thing he felt was cold metal pressed against his head. Roy was on the side of him holding the gun to the blonde alchemist's head.
"You were never much taller with it anyway Ed, you were still the size of a bean" said Roy.
"I'm not a bean!" he yelled and then thought, 'Let's see, if I run fast enough I could make it'
"Don't even think about running or trying alchemy Ed, because I'll shoot you before you get the chance"
Ed gulped, "Your lying"
"No Ed, in fact it might be enjoyable for me to see you on the ground covered in blood and twitching" he replied darkly.
Riza looked shocked, 'Is he lying, I really can't tell' she thought.
"Please brother just surrender, it's not worth it, just help them" Al pleaded.
"Fine…" Ed sighed, "But I'm not going to like it"
"So the whole reversal thing was a lie?" asked Riza.
"Yes, lieutenant...er colonel"
"Then change us back" scolded Roy.
"Well...about that" Ed started and Roy glared.
"Brother…" sighed Al.
"Care to explain Fullmetal?" fumed Roy.
"I...umm... kinda lost it" admitted Ed.
"That's fine, you memorized it of course" commented Riza.
"Well…"started Ed.
"Arg! You are hopeless" groaned Roy.
"If I was useless you would've never came looking for me in the beginning"
"I thought I was looking for a man, not a bratty little kid" Roy retorted.
"There you go with the short references again. One of these days you'll get old and you'll shrink. Then you'll be looking up at me"
"Keep dreaming"
"Knock it off you two. Now Edward where do you think this paper is?" Riza interrupted.
"I don't know, remember the I lost it"
Riza sighed, "You'll have a lot of time to study while that million dollar wound of yours heals"
"Yes sir" huffed Ed.
"I still don't trust him, what if he runs?"
"Hmm..." she said while looking around and spotted Havoc on his smoking break. "Lieutenant Havoc will watch over him"
Havoc's cigarette hanged low out of his mouth, "Say what now?"
"You heard me Havoc, I'm assigning you to watch over Edward as he researches" Riza repeated.
"But Colonel I have a date scheduled for tonight with my angel" he added.
"Then I guess you'll be having the date at the hospital around Fullmetal's bedside" commanded Riza and then she thought, 'Sorry Jean'
"Perfect" he frowned, "You always ruin my chances for love Roy"
"If she's really crazy about you as you say Jean, I'm sure she won't mind" commented Riza.
Havoc smiled, "Yah, I'm going to call her right now" Havoc flicked his cigarette to the ground and smashed it with his foot. He then walked back into headquarters.
"I don't mind if it's lieutenant Havoc, just as long as it's not the colonel" he said while glaring at him.
"Edward please address us correctly and argue with me if you must" Riza explained, "People are watching"
"You're not going to shoot me if I do, will you?" he whispered.
"Of course not Edward" she responded and Ed breathed in relief. "I would flame you" she smiled while flashing a gloved hand. Ed gulped and Riza laughed in her mind.
"We need to get you to the hospital" said Riza and Al picked up his big brother.
Later at night, Roy and Riza were walking home together again.
"I can't believe I have to be nice to him' Roy groaned.
"It's fair; I have to deal with your female friends"
"Yes but you like that" laughed Roy and Riza flushed.
"No I Do Not" she stated and crossed her arms. Roy leaned into her.
"But you like me Riza" he said putting emphasis on Riza.
Riza smiled in return, Roy didn't call her Riza much even though it was the nickname he made up for her.
"You didn't answer" he replied while looking up at her.
"Yes, I like you" she said and then thought, 'I love you'. Riza thought those words often, but she was afraid to love because she thought it would just end up like with her father.
Roy nodded and touched his back. "Jeaz, my back is killing me" he hissed.
"You must've hurt yourself while fighting Edward" she answered.
"I knew he was a pain in the back" growled Roy.
Riza smiled, "Tell me where it hurts" Then she place her hand on Roy's back and rubbed. Roy relaxed and looked up at her.
"You got it" he heaved.
Then before they knew it they reached 'Roy's' apartment.
"Good night Roy" she said softly and looked in his eyes. She felt like she was looking at Roy's soul and swore she saw his face, the face that she wore now.
Roy kissed her and whispered "I love you" Riza was stunned and watched Roy walked into the apartment. 'He loves me…' she thought and she touched the doorknob. 'Roy I love you too, I loved you since the first day me met, but you left me for the military. You can't love me, because you love our country more she let go of the door knob, afraid to tell him her really feelings and left.
Roy feed the dog as usual right when he got back. Now he was sitting in bed with his blonde hair down and only wearing a long t-shirt. Black Hayate's head laid gently on his lap, snoozing. He picked up Riza's diary from the nightstand and turned to page where his favorite passage was.
Today, I met Roy Mustang. He's a big headed flirt who thinks he's the most handsome thing in the world…but I think I'm in love with him and I know this isn't a crush. Oh God what's wrong with me? I'm not supposed to fall in love; only pretty girls go off and get married. Only girls that don't hold a curse on their back! Why love when I can never be with him? I wish the Lord would take my heart out and free me of love, make me stop loving him for it will end in pain in the end, like my mother. Riza…my new nickname, he made me feel like I belonged to him, I felt happy! I want to feel that every day of my life. I want to be with him every day of my life…I hate this pain of having something you desire, but you can't touch. I will pray for him…for us, what else can I do, but be myself and hope that he'll love me back. Then there's this cursed mark on my back, how can I get married if he can't touch me? I do I love this man and yet I hate myself for letting this happen…Riza Hawkeye will never have a happy ending..
Roy looked up from the pages and thought to himself, 'I need to hear those words from her and I know I can make her happy.
Riza was knelt down on the floor by her bed, whispering, "I need the courage to tell him, I need help breaking this protective layer I coated myself in, please..."
At the hospital, Ed laid in the bed with his butt up, which was now bandaged. Ed squirmed and groaned.
"Nii-san, stop fidgeting around, you're going to hurt yourself again"
"Arg! It's so uncomfortable to lay like this!" yelled Ed.
"Bare with it brother, I know you can"
"Stupid Mustang, only he would shut me in the butt. How am I suppose to go to bathroom?!"
Havoc looked over at them and said, "My date is coming soon, you better not talk like that you'll scare her away"
"Sure sure lieutenant is that why you're not smoking?" pressed Ed with a smirk.
Havoc blushed, "There's no smoking allowed in hospitals Fullmetal you know that"
"Never stopped you before" Ed teased and them he had a pucker face.
"Brother what's wrong?"
Liliana opened the door and walked in.
"Gah my a** itches!" Ed screamed.
Havoc looked toward Liliana and then to Edward, "Ed! What did I tell you?"
Liliana laughed and kissed Havoc on the cheek, "It's okay Havoc, I don't mind one bit"
'Score! Did I get the best girl or what?' Havoc winked, "Don't you look stunning tonight"
"Well it is our date isn't it?" she laughed and turned around, showing off her long sleeved blue dress.
"Hey lieutenant I'm hungry over here, since I can't get up mind bringing me some food?"Ed asked.
"Mmmmm…hospital food" joked Liliana, "Can you bring me some too?"
"Yah, yah I have to do everything around here" he teased while standing, "Watch him" he said to Liliana.
"I don't think he'll be going anywhere any time soon, Jean"
"Right" he laughed and left the room.
"So your Havoc's girl?" asked Ed.
Liliana blushed and held her face, "He said that?"
"Something like that"
"So you're Edward the Fullmetal alchemist" she said.
Edward got excited, "Al, she was looking at me right?"
"Yes Nii-san"
"Yesssssssssss!" yelled Ed.
Liliana giggled, "What's that for?"
Al smiled, "Everyone mistakes me for the Fullmetal alchemist, when it's really my brother" Al looked in her eyes and thought, 'Those eyes I know them'
Liliana spun to Ed's side and smiled while touching his automail arm. "I've always admired automail"
"You a mechanic?" Ed questioned.
"Yes!" she exclaimed, "If you need one I'll hop to the job"
"Oh no, I already have a mechanic"
"Yah the bound between a person and their mechanic is strong I hear" she said seriously.
"Yah, plus she kill me with a wrench if I got a new one" Ed laughed.
"Oh I see now, she's more than your mechanic, a girlfriend maybe?"
"What!? No no no we're just friends!!" yelled a blushing Ed and Al laughed.
"I think your right Liliana" Al laughed.
"Al!" screamed Ed.
"Sorry Nii-san I couldn't resist" Al smiled.
"Humph...moving on"
"Fine Edward, ask me anything"
Ed thought a little and then finally said, "Why did you choose to be an automail mechanic?"
"Great question" she answered, "Well, mainly to help my people"
Ed looked at her face for the first time and looked in her eyes, red eyes. Liliana was a pretty woman with long dark hair and skin.
"You're from ishbalan"
"Yes Edward" she said tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, "But that wasn't a questioned" she smiled brightly to Edward.
"Okay, so why go out with Havoc, he's a military officer, isn't it awkward?"
"No, I love being with Jean. He's a very sweet man and I look beyond the uniform, I know what the military did to my people, but hated all military officers won't bring my family back. Showing hate toward people just provokes war and nobody wants that. I really liked Jean and no uniform can shy me away from him. He was the first person who didn't give me pity and you two of course, wise young men you are" she explained with a smile on her face, "I hope when I have children they grew up to be like you, minus a few thing" she finished with a laughed.
Al and Ed blushed and said in unison, "Thank you!"
Havoc walked in and looked around at everyone. "Did I miss something?" he replied as he peered around the trays he was holding.
Liliana rose and took a tray from Havoc, "Just talking with the boys" She placed Ed's tray next to him.
"I can't eat like this" fused Ed.
"Hmm…I guess someone will have to feed you then"
"You?"asked Ed.
"No, Jean" she laughed.
"What!" yelled Havoc, "Feeding another guy is cruel and unusual punishment, Liliana" he whined.
She grabbed his arm and dragged him to Edward's bedside, "But funny to me" Jean groaned along with Ed, but in the end everyone had a good time.
Liliana was so happy, it was the best date she ever had.
-End of chapter, to be continued-
AN: Yes! Finished. I'm so glad, I've been on this computer for hours and I want some ramen big time! Time to thank my reviewers! Thanks Tsukali-chan, silvergothicsweettooth, little miss clueless, first lieutenant riza hawkeye, Axis Bold As Love, Ultimate Royai Lover, Teeshdapeech, Dragonridingattorney43,Dark-Lady-Hel, buffybest, J, Tate Freak, Athena's Heart, Smoldering Flame, scoobygang101, lulukiryu, The Misty Forest, Santoryuu-Zoro, ksiarsauke, Eternity, SunnyDaiki, ssadropout, Cavalyn, HarunoRin, anonynomheheheh, AliasAurora, Katsukun, and tinytokirabbit7 . Everyone should follow their example and REVIEW!! Thank you all and check out my profile page and vote in my Do you like Havoc? Poll. Until next time, good night and good luck.
-ramenwriter15