RULE #58 NEVER TOUCH CLINT'S BOW AND ARROW
Yeah, touching the archer's two most prized possessions, he will find out and hunt you down.. and use you for his target practice.
Let's just say I 'borrowed' Clint's bow and arrows and met a professional archer who taught me how to use it properly. When I got home three hours later I placed it back in its place exactly how I found it and went to go watch Covert Affairs. When Clint and Natasha returned from their date night I was joined rather quickly by a fuming Clint.
"Annika why did you take my bow?" he growled.
"Why do you automatically assume it was me?" I asked rolling my eyes.
"Because, Tony would only touch them if he didn't value his life, Bruce hates weapons, Tasha is okay to touch them, and Steve would have probably accidently killed himself touching them. You, oh guilty looking one, are the only one in the entire tower that wants to learn how to use any and all weapons." He pointed out.
"Okay I give, I did borrow it but it is not broken and nobody is dead. No harm done." I shrugged looking back at the tv.
"Come with me Anna." He said taking my upper arm.
"Uh, could you wait another ten minutes?! Auggie is on to Lena for killing Simon and shooting Annie and framing Annie for passing secrets to enemies." I said swatting his hand away.
"No. Now." He said shutting the tv off.
"Oh, come on! I have to know if that son of brat is going to die!" I cry. I kick and scream until he finally leaves. I turn the tv back on just in time to see Lena trying to suffocate Annie but Joan jumps onto Lena. I watched the rest of the episode and by the end my face is doing the goldfish number. I turn the tv off and headed towards the target range. As soon as I open the glass door an arrow whizzes past me embedding itself into the white wall.
"Are you insane?!" I scream as I run for cover in the equipment closet.
"Don't touch my bow or arrows ever again!" He yells back as another arrow comes through the door.
I hid in the closet for four hours from an angry Hawkeye.
RULE #59 SAME GOES FOR NATASHA'S GUNS
One would think that after the whole Clint's arrows thing I would learn to not touch any of the assassins weapons of choice.
Especially Natasha's favorite guns.
I am still pulling glass out of my hair from the broken window in the kitchen.
RULE #60 DON'T ASK LOKI IF HE'S AN AVATAR
Loki and I had just finished watching James Cameron's movie 'Avatar' and I had been thinking what if Loki wasn't a frost giant.. WHAT IF HE WAS A FREAKIN' AVATAR?! That would just be the coolest thing ever!
"Loki..?" I asked.
"What?" he asked back getting up and pouring himself some orange juice.
"Are you a you know, avatar?" I asked grinning.
"No. I do not look like one of those creepy things that lives on another… Okay just because I match almost exactly to one of those things that does not mean-"
"UNCLE LOKI'S AN AVATAR!" I squeal before running off.
"I am not!" He yelled back.
For the next few days I had spent countless hours calling all over the country before I found him.
"This is James." He said.
"Mr. Cameron?" I asked unsure.
"Yes, who is this?" he asked.
"My name is Annika Baer and I am Tony Stark's niece but I wasn't calling about that, I am calling to tell you that my uncle Loki is an avatar." I said seriously.
"Enough pranks, Miss Baer." He said annoyed.
"I am being 100% serious, sir. If you don't believe me come to the Stark- I mean the Avengers tower next week and I will prove it to you." I said.
"I cannot just get up and fly across the country to look at somebody who has painted themselves blue." He snapped.
"Oh, please. Your James Cameron. And if you don't believe me that's fine too." I said getting ready to hang up when he replied.
"I will be in JFK Sunday morning at 8am. Send a car and I will come see your 'uncle' who is an 'avatar'." He said before hanging up.
"JARVIS. Will you put on Happy's agenda to pick up Mr. James Cameron at JFK on Sunday morning at *am and bring him here, please?" I ask the AI.
"Of course Miss Baer." It replied. I couldn't wait until Sunday.
Sunday came quickly and at 9:30am Mr. Cameron arrived at the tower.
"Miss Baer I presume." He said extending his hand. I took it and shook his hand.
"Yes, and of course you are James Cameron director of two of the greatest movies ever produced." I said grinning.
"Thank-you. Now, where is this avatar uncle of yours." He asked raising an eyebrow.
"He will be up in about 5 minutes. Want some coffee?" I ask.
"No, just water will do." He replied taking a seat on the white leather recliner as I got him his glass of water. Exactly five minutes later Loki emerged from the elevator in all his blue glory.
"Oh, hi Loki. I forgot today was the day you had those lab experiments." I lied.
"Who is this, Anna?" Loki asked eyeing Mr. Cameron suspiciously.
"Oh him? This is James Cameron. He directed Titanic and Avatar. Both are your favorite movies right?" I ask grinning.
"You didn't.."
"Oh, I did.."
Mr. Cameron's face went from composed to goldfish at seeing Loki's true side. I totally showed him.
RULE #61 NO MORE NERF GUN WARS
Being in a house full of people who usually have to fight at leave 80% of the year means they have lots of stress. I noticed that they were all tired, jumpy, and/or pissed off. One couldn't get a word in without having a plate thrown at them or without the Hulk being unleashed. I emerged from my room one morning carrying all 20 of my nerf guns and my practically unlimited stash of foam bullets into the living room. I loaded my favorite gun, the NStrike Elite, and began shooting at them.
The response I got was anger and a few spoons hurled at me.
"Grab a gun and let the games begin." I said shooting Tony in the forehead.
"We aren't in the mood, Anna" an exhausted Clint said.
"I don't care." I growled shooting him. That set them all off and they grabbed guns and loaded them up before chasing after me.
This 'little' war lasted the entire day and in the end the kitchen was covered in little orange and green foam bullets and frying pans were thrown everywhere after the person holding it had run for another cover. We didn't realize that in the middle of the war a few stray bullets had hit Pepper's antique vase and knocked it off of the small table shattering upon impact with the floor.
"Oh shit, Pep's going to kill me." Tony whimpered. I patted him on the back sympathetically.
"Actually she is going to kill Anna." Natasha said tossing me her plastic gun and the others quickly did the same before running for cover.
Yeah, Pepper was none too happy when she saw the vase on the floor in about 2 million pieces.
Hey guys! You just read chapter 12. Review please. And just want to let you guys know I'm working on a fanfic for the movie Red Eye. Currently working on chapter 1. Check it out when I get it up tonight!