Chapter 12

A not too unfamiliar thudding in the front of Snape's head told him he had passed out and similarly the clucking of the overprotective matron from nearby told him he was in the hospital wing of the castle.

"Not had anything to eaten for two days! Two days!" she tutted as she bustled around.

Snape furrowed his brow uncomfortably as he imagined that house elves were currently being forced to provide some food he didn't want.

Opening his eyes fully he found he had been out for at least three or four hours as it was now dark outside and the castle was relatively quiet.

Running his hand through his hair he tried to remember what had happened.

He had had a nightmare, he had woken up, Lily had tried to take him to his rooms and…yes, and then he passed out.

But why?

Just then Madam Pomfrey walked in to his curtained off bed.

"Nice to have you back!" she began. "Tongue!"

Snape lifted his tongue as Poppy put a thermometer under his tongue.

"Mrhh?"

"Shh." she began and started to take his pulse.

His eyes raked the room for Lily.

After a desperate search and a minute of waiting, Poppy removed the thermometer and nodded.

"Much better."

"Where's Lily?"

"I sent her to arrange for Remus' removal. You cannot go on this way Severus. You need to sleep in a proper bed. And eat proper meals. And rest adequately!"

Snape scoffed.

"I did not faint because I am hungry."

"Yes you did." She argued indignantly.

Snape had been hungrier than that…and never fainted from it. As a child he could suffer for days without adequate nourishment and still have the magic to turn bugs into buttons and back again.

Poppy looked to him.

"You need to look after yourself." she began sternly but with a sympathetic face. "You're pushing yourself hard enough with all of this business about he-who-must-not-be-named as well as nursing Lupin, being head of house and teaching. You're not Merlin!"

Snape nodded and sighed.

Perhaps he had been pushing himself hard recently. He was carrying a lot of weight on his shoulders and was receiving very little consideration for it.

Lying here, prone in this hospital bed made him realize that in fact it had weakened him, and that perhaps he had taken on too much. It made him feel as if he had been taken for granted a little by those who seemed to think he could take that kind of strain and still be able to function normally.

It hurt a little to think that those he considered close friends, and perhaps even loved ones had failed to consider he was human after all…

He felt a pang of neglect. Something he had not identified with for years.

"Has the headmaster been?" he asked softly.

"He popped in to check on you." she nodded, straightening his sheets.

Snape nodded and looked towards the door, desperate to see Lily.

"Did any students see?" he asked quickly.

"No." Poppy said almost instantly. It seems she had been prepped for this question.

"Good. When can I leave?"

"Miss. Evans sees it fit you spend tonight here, in a real bed." Poppy replied. "She will return with your things shortly. Until then, you need to eat this…"

Poppy reached from behind the curtains and produced a large plate of bangers and mash with a jug of onion gravy.

"I don't want to eat." he said resolutely.

"Do I need to give you an appetite uplift potion?" she began haughtily.

Snape shook his head. He knew what went into that potion and wasn't much for it.

Picking up the fork, he silently promised to eat it.

Content with this and that he would not simply vanish the food with his wand Poppy walked away.

As Snape tucked into the bangers and mash he started to feel his appetite coming out of hiding and appreciating the steaming hot meal and its attendant warmth.

The bed stopped feeling starchy and felt comfortable and by the time he had finished his 'pep-up' tonic. Poppy was happy to show Lily in to him.

Lily had brought his pyjamas and promised that Remus was now in his own room with Tonks as a guard.

She said that elves were changing the sheets and she had permitted them to clean the room.

Snape actually felt happy.

He had his room back, he felt better, his appetite had returned and Lupin and that moody girl had left.

"Lily…" he smiled.

She looked uncomfortable.

"You scared me." she said softly.

"I'm sorry. I must have forgotten to eat." he apologised. "So much going on, self-preservation took a back seat."

"That's not like you Sev, you're usually level headed." she sighed. "Is Dumbledore putting too much on you?"

"No…No." Snape lied. "I just had a weak turn. I'm sorry."

Lily seemed half placated by this but still the furrow of worry in her forehead remained.

"You start your lessons tomorrow." Smiled Snape. "I want to hear about it."

"You will. From the students probably. Saying I'm the worst teacher ever."

"You know they won't do that."

Lily gave a half smile.

"The curriculum is pretty easy. It's just relating to young wizards how the muggles live."

"Indeed." Snape agreed. The warm meal was resting in his stomach.

"Filius has identified the curse." Lily began with renewed vigour. "He thinks that it is a dark magic shield charm. He thinks that he can lift the curse but it will take time. That Umbridge woman I saw in the entrance hall the other night was there. She was very interested in what was going on, had a notepad out and everything."

"She's horrid." Snape scowled.

"She's a bitch." Lily responded. "She's always had it in for anyone who wasn't a pureblood or half blood."

"I know." Snape nodded. "But don't worry…She'll be hard pressed to find anyone who can best you in a duel."

"I wonder if I hexed her hat to eat her hair she'd notice."

Snape gave an indulgent smile and patted the bed.

"Come and join me."

"Poppy." Lily nodded towards the curtains.

"She won't mind."

"She'll frog march me out." Lily giggled. "Besides, you're sick. You need rest."

Snape sighed and rested back into the comfortable pillows.

"I'd appreciate to sleep next to you again."

Lily stroked his cheek.

"It's been torture without you to cuddle up to."

Lily smiled appreciatively.

"Look, I'm gonna head back. I'll come and get you at am and we can go to breakfast in the morning."

Snape nodded and reached for her hand.

"I love you."

Lily smiled again, but he noticed that its usual brightness was dim. Perhaps she was tired, perhaps she was worried. But she seemed vacant.

He decided not to press her on it.

Falling asleep that night, he found his thoughts were mercifully empty. He had an idea that Poppy had slipped him some 'draught for a dreamless sleep' for how fast he fell asleep and the lack of dreams he had.

He didn't even dream about the dark lord.

At am Lily came to collect him from the hospital wing.

Snape was given a stern talking to by Poppy who seemed to enjoy having a teacher to boss around and then he was released. He was very glad he did his marking on Sunday morning rather than have admitted to his students he had not graded their work.

Lily was pale and had rather overcompensated for it by wearing brighter colours. She wore an autumn orange cardigan and a dark yellow dress with olive green stockings and brown, buckled shoes.

She looked beautiful, if pasty.

He greeted her with renewed vigour and kissed her cheek happily before giving her a warm hug.

She gave a laugh of delight at this spontaneous greeting and held him back.

"This is nice!"

"I've been so preoccupied recently, hardly had time to appreciate you." he smiled warmly.

"Good nights sleep, good meal inside you, you're practically a teddy bear." Lily chuckled and held his hand tightly. "It's rare to see you like this."

Snape felt a pang of guilt. He had been neglecting her greatly. Now he was not burdened by being Lupin's nurse maid, hungry and tired, he saw that she had been suffering too.

Unsure of her new appointment as teacher, having to plan her lessons alone, sleeping alone.

"I'm sorry Lily." he said quietly and reached to stroke her ashen cheek. "I won't do neglect you again."

Lily smiled weakly.

"You've gone all soppy. Think of those kids you have to terrorize later."

Snape smiled and squeezed her hand again.

On the way to the great hall, they broke their hand holding to continue the façade of their relationship to the school and walked apart, speaking sensibly of school matters.

As she took a seat next to him, the Divination teacher wandered over and gave them a dewy smile.

"My dears." she began mistily. "I have foreseen your relationship for some time. How nice it is to see you in the physical world so happy."

Snape had little patience for Trelawney.

"Tell me, Sibyl. Do you happen to know where Charity is?"

"I'm sorry?" she asked.

"The muggle studies teacher? She's currently absent. Where is she?" he asked quietly as Lily leaned in to ask him not to take it further.

"I have seen many things but to speak of them now would bring great danger upon the school. Most unfortunate! Oh! The tragedies!" and with a dramatic flick of her hand upon her head she snuck away.

Snape shook his head.

"Fraud."

"Why do you hate her?" Lily asked as she reached for some toast.

"She couldn't predict a rainstorm if there were puddles on the floor!" snapped Snape and reached for the pumpkin juice.

Just then Professor Sprout wandered over.

"Severus, I have some gillyweed if you're interested….and congratulations Miss. Evans! Or dare I say, Professor!"

Lily smiled and took Pomona's earthy hand.

"Thank you Professor Sprout."

Snape looked beyond Sprout's soil laden clothing to the students now filling the great hall. Rubbing their eyes, scratching their hair and looking sleepily into the sky for owls carrying news from home.

As they started to survey the top table they not only noticed Lupin's absence, but Lily's appearance.

Snape felt his cheeks burn a little and busied himself with cutting up his sausages.

Lily smiled after Sprout who had advised her on dealing with 'wayward' students who may be distracted by a younger female teacher and turned to Snape.

"…What do I tell them if they ask difficult questions?" she asked surreptitiously.

"I think you should tell them to get on with their work." Snape responded and cut into his fried egg.

Lily nodded and looked towards the middle of the table where Dumbledore was not yet present.

Breakfast passed without problem or issue and as soon as the bell rang, Lily made to hurry to Muggle Studies.

"Lily." Snape began with a usual tone of formality he preserved for 'public' communication. "Have a good day; I will see you at lunch. Send any problems to me with a student."

"I will." she smiled weakly.

As she got up, she saw that Professor Umbridge, today in a pink angora cardigan and tartan pink skirt and was smiling meaningfully to her.

"She's staring at me, Sev…Sev, she's staring."

"Be polite…stare back."

Lily decided not to, and instead headed to her first lesson.