He sat quietly at the end of the long table at Ed Debevic's restaurant and eyed the little Asian boy sitting across the table from him. The infamous Cameron, Cosmo's very best friend, was enjoying the last of his miniature hot fudge sundae and watching the wild antics of the rest of the party guests who were dancing with the waiters and waitresses. Sock hop music from the 50's blared from a juke box and Cameron grinned as he set his spoon down and clapped his hands when the song ended. Luka lifted his head as Molly walked Declan over toward him. The baby's fists were in her hands as he gleefully plodded toward his father. Luka picked his son up and jostled him in his arms as Molly went off to join the rest of the dancers. Declan chuckled and rubbed his fists in his eyes.
"If you were an octopus, you would be dead now," Cameron said as he leaned on his folded arms and studied Luka. Luka raised a dark eyebrow and met the little boy's serious gaze.
"Is that so?" he asked. Cameron nodded his dark head and reached up to brush the thick, dark bangs off his forehead.
"An octopus dies after they give their sperm to a mother octopus so she can lay her eggs," the little boy explained. "Sperm is what boy bodies make to give to girl bodies so they can have babies." Luka's brow rose a little higher as he adjusted the little boy in his lap.
"You know a lot about octopus," he managed to choke. Cameron's slanted eyes seemed to disappear as he grinned and nodded.
"I am the octopus expert in our class," he said. "Cosmo wanted to be the shark expert but everybody wanted to be the shark expert. Our teacher asked him to be the Orca expert instead. You know? Killer whales? Except they really don't kill people like you think. They're….."
"I know," Luka said. "I saw one at the aquarium today. I saw an octopus too. Hanging from the ceiling?"
"That was a giant squid," Cameron corrected as his brow furrowed. "Didn't you know that?"
"A squid has eight arms like an octopus does but they also have two long tentacles," he went on. "They use the tentacles to capture food and carry it to their mouth and…"
"Cameron," Susan interrupted him as she put her hands on his shoulders. "Susie wants to take a picture of everyone with the waiters over there." The little boy shrugged, climbed down from his chair and joined the group of friends around Cosmo.
"Thank you," Luka sighed. "That kid knows too much about too many things." Susan laughed and dropped into the chair across the table from him. She nodded toward the group of children.
"Lauren loves him though," she said. Luka glanced back to see Lauren with her arms wrapped around Cameron and squeezing him tight. Luka frowned and turned back to Susan.
"They'll probably end up married to each other," Susan chortled. Luka's frown deepened.
"That's not funny," Luka growled.
"Yes, it is," she laughed. He shook his head and then glanced back at the group of children again. They were all mugging happily for Susie's camera. He grinned and then chuckled.
"Will you be okay for a minute?" he asked. "I told Abby I would get some ribs from Ryan's for dinner tonight. It's just across the street."
"Will you pick up two slabs for me too?" she asked. "My dad is coming over for dinner and cake before Scott takes the girls home. I'll pay you when we get back." Luka nodded and glanced back at Lauren, who was happily dancing with Casey and Molly again, and left. Susan's eyes came to rest on Cosmo. He was having such a good time. He'd stuck by her birthday rule of eight kids for his eighth party and had included Lauren, Casey and Molly in that number without being asked. They, along with the four school friends he'd chosen to invite, were decked out in jeans and the bright orange tee shirts she and Susie had painted for the occasion. It had made it much easier to keep track of all of them at the aquarium.
Eight years.
Eight years ago she had given birth to him with Chuck at her side, holding her hands, wiping her brow. He had been two weeks over due and she was exhausted. And exhilarated when he'd finally made an appearance. Chuck had bawled like a baby when he'd cut the cord and then studied the screaming scrap of baby on her chest. She had cried too but then laughed when she realized the two men in her life were crying in unison. They had had so much fun with him. Chuck was forever posing him…them….for pictures. He'd loved everything about being a daddy. And he had been so willing to play the stay at home parent so she could go back to work. From that point on they had been best buddies. Sometimes it actually hurt to watch the two of them together. And that was especially true in the end. But Chuck would be so proud of the caring, creative little kid his son had become. And that was important to her.
Susan jumped as she was startled from her thoughts when a hand squeezed her shoulder. She looked up as Scott moved behind her.
"They're having fun," he grinned.
"Everything okay at the hospital?" she asked as he sat in the chair next to her. Scott nodded and then laughed as the waiters led all of the kids and other restaurant patrons in a Conga line.
"I think they're headed this way," he warned her. Susan groaned as he picked up her hand and stood up.
"Come on, Mom," he cajoled her. "It's your kid's birthday!" Susan stood up and tugged on the orange tee shirt she wore. They waited until the end of the line and then he nudged her into the end of the line and his hands settled onto her hips from behind as they congaed their way through the restaurant.
Much later, Susan knocked and then pushed open Cosmo's bedroom door. He was curled under his covers reading a new book. Fudge was stretched out beside him and didn't even bother to look up. His tail whapped on the covers though. She grinned and crossed the room. She frowned a little and looked around. Something was different. She sat down on the edge of his bed and then smiled slightly. The floor was clean. She saw the plastic tub that usually slipped under his bed near the closet door. It was filled with the action figures and other toys that usually littered the carpet. She grinned and took the Magic Tree House book from him and read the title.
"Is this the book Cameron gave you today? " she asked. Cosmo nodded. Susan put a Star Wars book marker at the page he was reading and set the book on his bedside table. There were two gift cards for the builders store leaning against the base of his airplane lamp. One was from Luka and one was from Scott. It was money for the wood for a tree house. Susan smiled a little and took a deep breath.
"Did you have a good birthday?" she asked the little boy in the bed. Cosmo grinned and looked up at her as he nodded. Susan studied his face and reached out to brush the hair from his face. He was looking so much more like Chuck these days. His jaw was squarer, his cheeks rounder and he had that look in his blue eyes. It was eerie.
"You're eight now," she sighed. "That sounds so much older than seven." Cosmo smiled again. Susan leaned down to kiss him and Cosmo wrapped his arms around her neck for a hug. She kissed his cheek again and sat up, tucking his blankets around him.
"Mom," Cosmo asked. "Do you still miss my dad?" Susan stopped and looked down at him.
"Of course I do," she said quietly. "Especially on days like today. He would have loved your party. He probably would have gotten up on the counter and danced with all those waiters." Cosmo laughed as she tickled him.
"Yeah," he said as he calmed down. Susan waited. There was something else weighing on his mind. She could feel it. Cosmo played with his fingers on top of the covers for a moment and looked up at her slyly.
"Is it okay if I don't miss my dad all the time?" There was a worried little frown on his face and she smiled reassuringly.
"You like Scott, don't you?" Cosmo's eyes brightened and he nodded. Susan sighed.
"If your Dad couldn't be here himself," she said. "He would want us to find some that makes us happy. You know that, right?" Cosmo nodded slowly. She leaned down a little closer to him.
"Then it's okay to love someone else," she said slowly. "Daddy would want us to." Cosmo gazed up at her for a long moment and then smiled. Susan rubbed noses with him and kissed his cheeks again.
"Happy birthday, little man," she whispered. "I love you."
"Love you too, Mom," Cosmo yawned. He rolled over and buried a hand in Fudge's fur. She tucked the blankets closer around him and he snuggled into his pillows and closed his eyes. Susan switched off the airplane lamp on his table and stood up to cross the room. She left his door open a crack and the light on in the hall and made her way back down stairs to the living room. She could hear Susie putting dishes into the dishwasher in the kitchen. Susan gathered up the boxes of Lego sets Cosmo had gotten for gifts and stacked them on the dining table.
"Want some tea?" Susie asked from the kitchen as the tea kettle whistled.
"That sounds great," Susan said. She circled the couch and dropped down into the cushions on the couch and slipped the shoes off her feet. Susie carried two steaming mugs from the kitchen and handed one to Susan before sitting at the other end of the couch. She pulled her legs up and Susan did the same. They sat with the backs against the couch arms and their toes propped up against one another's.
"You were a big help today," Susan said as she sipped on the tea. "Thank you."
"Well, don't forget Molly," Susie offered. 'She really knew how to rein those boys in."
"And I am sure that's going to really relieve her dad's mind when she starts dating," Susan laughed.
"She's a good kid," Susie sighed.
"So are you," Susan said softly. They were silent as they sipped on their tea for a moment. Susan studied the girl for a moment.
"Have you heard from your mother at all?" she asked. Susie shook her head.
"Nope," she said. "Have you?"
"I was just wondering where we should send your graduation announcement and invitation to the party," Susan said. "Is there a friend or someone in San Diego that we can call or write to?" Susie frowned and concentrated on balancing her mug on her bent knees.
"I don't want her to come," she said flatly. Susan frowned slightly.
"Susie," she said with a confused frown. "It's your high school graduation. That's a pretty big deal. She would want to be there." The girl frowned and her lips pursed tightly together. She set the mug on the coffee table next to her and folded her legs in front of her.
"She doesn't care about us," she said as she looked at Susan. "Why should she be allowed to swoop in here and pretend to be 'Wonder Mommy' and ruin everything?"
"What is she going to ruin?" Susan pulled herself to a straighter position and studied the girl.
"You are already in trouble because you let me visit her last summer," Susie said. "What are the grandparents going to have to say if 'the addict' shows up at my graduation and then stays at the house with us?"
"Stop that, right now," Susan scolded gently. "She's your mother and my sister. She will always be welcome in this house. You know that."
"Even if she starts shooting up in front of Cosmo or Casey?" Susie spit angrily. "She's done that, you know. She's done drugs like that in front of a little kid. Me."
"We would not let that happen," Susan said. "And calm down, right now. Besides, she would probably stay with Grandpa if she came."
"Well, it's my party," Susie said as she stood up and grabbed her mug off the table. "I think I should be able to decide who comes and who doesn't and I don't want her here."
"Susie, nothing in that custody suit is your fault." The girl took her empty mug into the kitchen and then came out again.
"I have some reading to do for a class," she said as she headed up the stairs.
"Susie….." Susan repeated plaintively. There was no response as her niece disappeared up the stairs and then Susan heard a bedroom door close quietly above her. She sighed heavily and finished the tea in her mug. Her cell phone rang on the table next to her and she picked it up. She saw Scott's picture on the caller id screen and pushed the button to accept the call.
"Hi," she said as she held the phone up to her ear.
"Is the birthday boy all tucked in for the night?" he asked.
"Yes, he is," she said.
"What's wrong?" Scott asked. Susan shook her head slightly. Was it so obvious that he could tell across the phone waves?
"Susan?" Scott asked.
"Susie and I are playing the blame game," Susan sighed. There was no use denying it.
"The blame game?" he asked. She took a deep breath and sighed again.
"She doesn't want her mother to come to her graduation or party because she is blaming herself for going to San Diego last summer," she said.
"And having it dragged out in the custody suit," he added quietly. Susan was silent.
"Well, that's no big deal," he said finally. "Don't push it."
"Scott, it's her mother," Susan replied.
"No, it's not," he said. "You are her mother, honey. You are the one that has helped with her homework and stayed with her when she was in the hospital and made sure she had clothes on her back, a roof over her head and food in the cupboard. Let it go."
"But, Scott….." she sighed.
"Susan, don't open a can of worms," he said. "Especially if Susie doesn't want you to."
"You're worried about it too, aren't you?" she asked slowly.
"No," came the response from the phone.
"Yes, you are," Susan said. Scott sighed.
"Look," he said. "I stood by and watched as my brother destroyed my parents because they kept trying, kept pushing, to keep him in the fold. Don't do it too."
"She's my sister, Scott," Susan said flatly.
"And David was my brother," he said. "But it was his addiction. Not mine." Susan slipped her legs off the couch and sat straighter in the cushions.
"I just don't want Susie to wake up some day and have regrets because we didn't do more for her mother," she said.
"It sounds like Susie has come to terms with it but you haven't," he said. "Besides, you are doing the best possible thing you can do for your sister by raising her daughter into the beautiful, capable, intelligent being that she is. That's the best thing you can do for her right now."
Damn it. He was right. He was so right about everything. Even after all of these years she still felt that need to do 'right' by Chloe. Where did that need come from anyway? Theirs had always been more of a give and give some more relationship on her part.
"Susan?"
"I'm here," she sighed. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure." She smiled a little at the tremulous response.
"Every guy I have ever dated has always tried to pin some kind of a nick name on me like 'Sue' or 'Susie'," she said. "Even Chuck called me 'Suze' on occasion even though he knew I hated it. But you never have. Why is that?"
"I don't know," he said. "You've never seemed like a Sue or a Susie or a Suze to me." Susan pondered his response silently for a moment. She took a deep breath.
"Abby told you not to, didn't she," she asked.
"No. Luka did," he answered quickly. "When we were on the teacup ride at Disney World." Susan laughed and relaxed into the couch cushions.
"Are we still on for lunch tomorrow?" he asked.
"Yeah, if I can get away," she sighed.
"I love you, babe," Scott said quietly.
"I love you too," she answered. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good night." She listened as the phone disconnected and set hers on the coffee table in front of her. After staring at it thoughtfully for a few minutes, she picked it up and quickly went through the numbers till she found the one she wanted. She pushed the dial button and waited.
"This number is no longer in service," came the recording. She slapped the phone back onto the table and shook her head.
"Damn you, Chloe," she muttered as she reached over to switch off the light beside her. She stood up and went to the front door to make sure it was locked and then climbed the stairs to the second floor and her bedroom.