12 | Pick-me-up

"So, here's how this is going to go," Kelly says as they sit in his car outside a bar the next evening. "You have to speak to at least two people before you find me, and no more than three drinks for each of us, okay?"

"Hm-hm," Matt nods lightly, biting his lip. His face is partly hidden in the shadows, but Kelly can feel he's nervous.

"This is a gay-friendly bar, Matt, there'll be both men and women inside, no-one is going to remark on you talking to either gender, okay? And no-one knows us here, so you don't have to worry. I hope you'll be comfortable." He can feel himself blabbering, but there are things he has to say. "The rules of Game-Night stand – if you want to touch or, - or kiss me, you can." Matt's eyes fly to Kelly at the sound of the word, "I'm not expecting it, you don't have to, but, if it comes up and you find you want to, it's okay. You're in control here, Matt. We're in this until you say we stop, but I'm not going to initiate anything more than taking you home, okay? That's up to you."

"Okay."

"Okay, who goes first?"

Matt looks at him, and then at the bar again. "I do," he says with quiet resolve. And Kelly finds he already wants to kiss him.

"I'll see you in there then," Kelly says softly before Matt opens the door and climbs out the car. Kelly following him with his eyes, watching as he makes his way to the door and hesitantly disappears inside.

..

"Bartender, another round," a voice next to him says, as a man comes to lean on the bar, tipping his beer glass before draining the last sip.

"On me," Matt tells the bartender, "and another for me as well, please," he adds before looking up into the eyes of the man standing next to him, his smile small and questioning. The man's eyebrows raise in surprise before a smirk adorns his lips.

"In that case, make that two shots of black-label as well," he says, his grey-bluish eyes sparkling at Matt, and Matt can't hold back a huff of laughter at his sly audacity. "That's a great sound," the man remarks in a low voice, making Matt a bit self-conscious. "Thanks for the drink," he adds, trying to bring them back to safe ground.

"Sure," Matt answers, raising the shot-glass that has just been set before him, "cheers,"

"Cheers," the man returns, and Matt can feel his eyes on him as they throw the drink back. "So, that tiny blond woman you were talking to earlier, she planning on coming back?"

"Um," Matt's eyes roam the room to find the person in question, while his mind tries to get over the implication that the man had been watching him, "don't think so, she seems kind of… busy," he nods with his head to where the blond women can be seen wrapped around another woman's shoulders, whispering secrets and giggling.

"Her loss is my gain," the man smiles and takes a seat on the vacant stool next to Matt.

"So, you were watching then?" Matt asks, somewhat insecure if it's the right thing to do. He can feel the guy flirting with him, he's just not as confident to flirt back so openly and quickly.

"Wanted to see if I still had a chance,"

"With her?" It falls from Matt's lips before he really thinks about it, and it earns him a quick glower and a crooked eyebrow from the man, but his voice stays calm.

"I'm not over there talking to her, am I?"

"No," Matt answers bashfully, gulping down a long swig of beer to prevent himself from apologizing.

"So, tell me, what do you do when you're not brightening up this place?"

"I'm a firefighter," Matt answers, scoffing inwardly at the man's cheesy line, "and a private contractor,"

"Oh, rugged," the man remarks, and Matt isn't sure if it's meant as a sting or a compliment, but the man continues, and his voice sounds interested rather than mocking. "You enjoy it? All the physical work?"

"Yeah, I do, actually, helps me keep my mind clear, and it's all I know how to do, really," he adds after a moment.

"And what do you do when you're off the clock?" the man leans closer, his voice more suggestive as if he's reminding Matt to keep it simple, "What keeps your mind clear then?"

"I, uh, run, or I do some woodwork, furniture restoration, some simple carpentry, things like that, and I, uh," he's unsure if he should reveal this last piece of information, but something inside him is curious to see the man's reaction. "I play the violin,"

He can see the man's eyebrows shoot high up into his forehead. Then he takes a moment to look at Matt as if trying to decide if he's bluffing or not. "Really? Sounds like you're a man of many talents." he finally says, and Matt can see he's still undecided. "I better play my cards right to get to see some of them. You any good?"

"I'm no professional, but it's a hobby," Matt adds, unsure if the man means the furniture or the violin. "It's a means to pass the time. How about you? what do you do?"

"On the clock – I fix boats, so that's maybe not so different than your set of skills, off the clock…" the man grins and takes a long pull from his beer.

"You always this cocky?" Matt asks, unable to help the warm smile spreading on his face, hoping it comes out as the joke he means it to be.

"Interesting choice of words," the man answers and Matt blushes a very deep shade of red. He hadn't meant that at all. "And that's an even more interesting reaction," the man lets out a warm and hearty laugh. Matt doesn't know where to bury himself. Then he leans even closer into Matt, whispering in his ear, "only since kindergarten."

Matt closes his eyes at the words, and odd warmth washing over him. He's not sure if it's the words or the memory or the physical proximity. He can feel how close the man is; can smell his heady cologne, mixed with the faint odour of leather coming from his jacket. He finds himself clinging to his beer-glass as if to keep himself up, trying to cool himself through the touch of his fingers against the dewy glass.

"Hey, man, you ok?" the man asks, his voice portraying his worry. "Was that too much? Sorry, that happens sometimes when I'm nervous," he adds, and Matt's caught by surprise at his admission. He turns to look at him again and finds him smiling calmly, waiting for Matt's reaction.

"No, it's fine," Matt mumbles, trying to get his bearings.

"I'm Kelly," the man says softly, holding his hand out. It feels like a peace offering, like a start-over.

"Matt," Matt says as he takes his hand, accepting, and it remains a moment longer in Kelly's hand.

"How about a game of darts?" Kelly offers, his thumb absentmindedly stroking the back of Matt's hand in his.

"Sure," Matt says, turning to get off the stool, but Kelly tugs on his hand to keep him close.

"How about a game of darts to decide who takes who home?" Kelly asks cheekily, his eye blazing with mischief again. Matt takes him in, how calm and open and beautiful he looks. Then he takes a step closer, coming into Kelly's personal space, lingering momentarily with unspoken curiosity.

"You're on."

.

One round turns into two, Kelly practically begging for a chance to redeem himself after Matt was quick to govern the game. By the second round, Matt has finished his beer and can now feel the edges slightly begin to soften. He isn't drunk, but he can feel the alcohol, the warmth of it, a low thrumming of sureness it set running along his bones. He feels comfortable in his own skin in a way he doesn't remember feeling for a while now. When he gets up to collect his darts, he lets his body brush gently against Kelly's side feeling the nerves tingle heatedly inside him. Kelly's warm smirk as their eyes meet in question does nothing to quench the shiver running through Matt. He's not sure what it means but for the first time in his life, he doesn't fight himself to overcome or quieten it. He can feel Kelly's eyes on him as he makes his way to the board.

"Hi," a man comes to stand next to Matt as he's pulling the darts from the board.

"Hi," Matt says a bit more cautiously then he'd actually like to be.

"May I buy you a drink?"

Matt turns to look at him, surprised. He's younger than both Kelly and he, extremely slim and tall, with dark locks tumbling wildly around his head. He's dressed in dark colours, his cheekbones high and striking, and there is a daring about him, that makes Matt a tad jealous. He's not care-free, but he's not afraid to go for what he wants.

"We're in the middle of a game," Matt answers, "thank you, but no,"

"Can I join in, then?" the man asks, unfazed by Matt's decline.

"I, uh-" He looks back at Kelly, to see him watching, ready to leap from his stool if the situation calls for it. For now, though, he lets Matt deal with it on his own terms. The thought makes him feel stronger; he doesn't need saving. "I think we'd like to finish this one on our own."

"How 'bout I join your other games then?" the man says slyly, raising a hand to stroke along Matt's cheek. But before he can reach it, Matt's hand catches his wrist mid-air, pushing it away.

"I said no," he pants lightly but his voice is as hard as his eyes. He can feel Kelly coming closer and he lets go of the man's wrist and takes a step back.

"Everything okay?" Kelly asks from behind him, his eyes pinning the man to his place.

"Yeah," Matt answers, turning his back on the man, to stand close at Kelly's side. Without thinking it over, he raises a shaky hand to fleet over Kelly's lapel and rest on his chest. "Can we go?" he asks quietly in Kelly's ear.

"You ok?" Kelly asks, turning his attention to Matt, his palm absentmindedly covering Matt's hand on his chest. He can feel the tremor going through him.

"Yes, I'm fine," Matt asserts, raising his eyes to meet Kelly's, "Will you take me home?"

..

At first, they drive in silence, Kelly's unsure if they're still role-playing or not. He's also not sure where Matt's head is at. Matt sits in silence, his eyes on the window shield.

"Hey," Kelly says softly after about ten minutes have passed.

"I'm fine," Matt answers automatically.

"So you've said,"

"He… didn't mean anything bad," it sounds like he's reassuring himself. "I'm just… not used to it, you know, the attention?" Kelly sneaks a look at Matt, his eyes now on Kelly with a glimmer of hope and question. He figures Matt's trying to regain the grounds of their fake new acquaintance to go on with their evening.

"Well, you showed him his place, it was kind of hot," he smirks.

"Yeah?" Matt beams at him bashfully.

"Yeah, great reflexes you got there, Flash,"

"Nah," Matt chuckles with him and turns back to the window, only for his eyes to wander back to Kelly's profile a moment later, studying him in silence. A comfortable quiet sets over them, and they both feel the familiar tingles of a good kind of tension rising between them.

.

Matt's phone beeps with a message as they make their way from the car towards the building.

Incoming Message: From K. Sev; 22:32: 'this goes on until you stop us,'

He raises his eyes to Kelly and answers with a small nod, and Kelly can see his back and shoulders straightening with…pride? Assurance? Confidence? It's tiny, but it's there and Kelly's washed with a warm feeling inside. He stretches out a hand, offering it to Matt, who timidly weaves his fingers into Kelly's.

It feels huge, the air suddenly cold in his lungs, but it's not fear that he's feeling, only excitement. He hasn't felt this in a very long time. When he'd ever gotten this far with a woman, they'd already be ravishing one another in the lift, not giving themselves the time to notice whatever it is, wonderful, that's happening at this moment.

.

"So, this is where you live?" Kelly asks as Matt lets them in.

"Hmm, yeah," Matt says, looking around as if he's seeing it for the first time. Most of the things in the living room are Kelly's, since before Matt moved in. Matt's been rather careful to keep his stuff in his room.

"You live alone?" Kelly asks, smirking lightly and Matt chuckles.

"No, with my roo-, best friend."

"He around?" Kelly asks, moving inside the apartment, taking his jacket off to lay it on the back of the sofa, his eyes tracing up the circular staircase.

"Nope, out. Probably trying to charm his way into bed with some poor unsuspecting soul," Matt jokes cheekily.

"Oh, yeah?" Kelly laughs with him and comes closer, "You poor and suspecting?" he asks, his voice a tone lower. Matt's breath catches in his throat with confusion. It takes him a moment to get his bearings and find a sounder ground.

"You want something to drink?" he offers breathily, stepping away from Kelly in the direction of the kitchen.

"No, thanks. Reached my limit for tonight," he says as he raises a knowing eyebrow towards Matt.

"Uh, we have soda, I think, or c-coffee,"

"No, Matt, I'm fine," he answers calmly, leaning against the back of the sofa. He can see that something has shifted for Matt, who now stands between their kitchen and their living room, looking a bit lost. "Did you make this?" Kelly points at a small wooden cabinet, standing just outside Matt's room, as a way to start a conversation.

"Yeah," Matt answers in relief, coming to stand closer to Kelly, looking at the cabinet, "one of the first things I've ever made. It's not much, I've done better since, but I can't seem to let it go,"

"I like it, it has character,"

"Yeah, well,"

"How about that other skill you talked about?" Kelly prods carefully, unsure.

"What time is it?"

"22:45"

"Ok, wait here," Matt says and disappears into his room, only to come out a moment later holding, to Kelly's utter shock, a violin in one hand and a bow in the other. The look on Kelly's face does odd things to Matt's insides. He's pretty sure it'd take a skid loader to raise Kelly's jaw off the floor.

Matt comes to a stop at his doorway, lit by the square of light behind him and the low yellow glow of the lamp on the cabinet. He takes a moment, running tunes through his head, his eyes closed in concentration, a small smile spreading on his lips as he finds one. And then he sets bow to strings and begins.

The first stroke is long, followed by shorter strokes of the same note, creating a perpetual rhythm that gradually evolves and entwines, a deft finger secretly plucking at the strings, adding a sweet undertone. It's an Irish tune, Kelly recognizes, but not an ecstatic one, its harmony pulls you in, changing abruptly to be more upbeat, then less, as it tells a complex, deep story of woes and joys. It's delicate and intricate; spellbinding, and Matt's figure as he stands in the yellow light, his face calm with concentration, his features leaning into the music as though he floats along it, is utterly breathtaking.

Kelly's legs move him before the vibration of the last note dissipate into the air, Matt's eyes locked into his as his hands come down, still holding the instrument. "That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," Kelly whispers, his hand gently cupping Matt's face, before his lips are on Matt's.

It's only after a moment, that Kelly realizes what he's done. He'd promised Matt he wouldn't initiate anything more than bringing him home, and now he's kissing him. But Matt's reciprocating, Kelly reflects, his lips warm and probing and eager on Kelly's. His hand, now free of the bow, is tentatively wrapping around Kelly's shoulder. His lips now opening for Kelly's, letting him suck at his lower lip, then his top. Then Kelly's tongue, carefully questing along them, seeking permission, which he thinks he's finding as Matt's lips part further. Oh, he thinks, his fingers grazing against Matt's cheek and into his hair, sweet, and whisky, and timidity, fingers scraping against his scalp, demanding, bringing him closer, open mouth, warm tongue, closer, swirling deeper, air, need air, his lungs cry out, burning, but sweet, welcoming, accepting, Matt, he pants against Matt's skin, his mouth compensating the loss by rasping along Matt's jawline and neck, arms tugging closer "Wait," no, "wait," that's Matt's voice, that's Matt's voice, arm pulling away, hand pushing, "I need," Matt's voice, small, hurt? "Kelly," that's the other kind of Kelly, the fearful one, the searching, what?

Kelly stops himself, pulling back, his eyes searching Matt's face, meeting his eyes. "What do you need, Matt? tell me,"

"I need," Matt pants, his hand moving to Kelly's cheek, "eyes, I need your eyes," he says, flushed, embarrassed, scared.

"I'm right here, Matt, it's still me," they pant in each other's arms, eyes boring into one another's, seeking something close, familiar, seeking the safety, the anchor.

"It's still you," Matt nods finally, his hand now fisted into Kelly's shirt, his breath regulated back down with relief.

"You want us to stop?" Kelly asks gently.

"Yeah, yeah, I think we should," but he's not letting go of Kelly's shirt yet.

"You did really well," Kelly dares to lay a fleeting kiss on Matt's temple, breathing against him. "How the fuck did I not know you can play the violin like that?" he huffs, and Matt chuckles, pulling gently back, putting some space between them.

"I haven't told you,"

"Yeah, I kind'a got that. Why? When? How?"

"I, play when you're not home, or when I'm at work," Matt says quietly, almost apologetically.

"I've never even seen you with a case before," Kelly realizes.

"I keep it in my gym bag," Matt admits.

"Why, why do you go to such lengths to hide it?" Kelly asks. There is something almost offended in his voice.

"I don't know. At first, I worried it might disturb you, the noise. After Harvey, I didn't play for a while, couldn't. I picked it back up a few months ago. It was mine, my way of… something that was entirely mine. I didn't know what you'd think,"

"What I'd think?"

"About me… playing, the violin."

"I think it's incredible." Kelly blurts out, "spectacular. Since when do you play? Where did you learn?"

"At elementary school, before... before everything, we had to choose an instrument for music class. Then I stopped, after. I kept moving schools, so… but I had my own instrument. and I took classes at youth centres and stuff when I could. And eventually, when I was older a pawned it for an adult's instrument." He looks down at the violin still clutched in his hand. "it's nothing new or top of the line, but it's reliable, sound is clean, and it's mine, so…"

"You can play it any time, Matt, I mean it. You don't have to hide this from me, I don't mind. I like hearing you play."

"I'm sorry I hid it from you,"

"No, it's fine. It's your thing, I get it. You're allowed to have things that are private. I didn't mean to… I just want you to feel comfortable, ok? To play, if you want to…"

"Ok,"

"Thank you for telling me tonight… it was… it was a great date,"

"Date?" Matt's surprised by Kelly's choice of words, taken back somehow by the bluntness of the idea.

"Well, whatever. I had fun." Kelly shrugs his shoulders, hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, me too." Matt agrees, "and thank you," he adds hurriedly. "I better uh," he raises the arm holding the violin and bow, signalling back to his room. An odd uncomfortable feeling sets between them as if too much has been said.

"Yeah, sure. Good night Matt,"

"Night, Kel,"