A/N: Okay, well, I know...very well...that I have been absent to say the least. But...it is week 9 of Term 1 at school and I have had five big assessments in the period of a month so I'm quite freaked out at the moment! BUT! After the amazingness of Arising, I was finally inspired to write and this is kinda a filler chapter (Again, sorry) between the Clean Sweep based chapter and what will be next: the Rogue based chapter! Hopefully, it's enough until I post the next one! AGAIN: SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING EARLIER.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Nikita. Not even a little bit of it. You know why? Because Dillon Casey said there's gonna be a sauna scene between Sean and Alex coming up. If I owned Nikita – we would've already seen it.

Alex was lying in bed, wide awake, her heart thumping in her chest as if it were a beating drum. She felt ice cold. Niall. The adorable recruit who she'd laughed with, teased, looked out for... was trying to kill her. And worse than that. He was little Aarun Eshkov. Aarun who had given Alex that her first MP3 player because he and all her friends had saved up and he was the one person she would cross on her way to town on a Saturday. Alex sat up carefully, so as not to wake Sean and slipped out of the bedroom, creeping across the floorboards, down the stairs and into the main room of the safe house. Everyone was upstairs...that's where the bedrooms were so Alex didn't worry when she flicked on the light switch. She slid down the wall until she was sitting, leaning against it, her straightened hair falling down her shoulders as she shivered in the cool air of the unheated room. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a simple, innocent life. Alex doubted she'd ever have one again. This war against Division was necessary...but endless. Once it was over, Birkhoff would run off to a mansion where he never had to get involved with any of these shenanigans ever again, Michael and Nikita would sort out their stuff...

Alex wouldn't have anything. Or anyone. She'd still be the orphan with nothing to do and nowhere to go.

Alex shook those thoughts out of her head. She knew they weren't true. The weight of everything happening was pressing down on her. Nikita had told her countless times that she would always have somewhere to go if she needed it.

'Alex?'

Alex scrambled to her feet, trying not to look as though she was wallowing in self pity, only to face Birkhoff who was squinting at the bright light.

'Oh...' she said. 'Hey.'

'Can't sleep either, huh?' he guessed, sweeping past Alex to get to the fridge.

'Yes...but that doesn't mean I go and drink beer,' Alex said, unimpressed. Birkhoff scowled at her. 'Beer's my fuel. Deal with it.' He hesitated. 'How's the eye?'

'Painful,' confessed Alex. 'I've had worse. Hey, Birkhoff...what are you planning on doing when we finally take down Division?'

Birkhoff seemed surprised by the question. Alex didn't blame him. It came from nowhere.

'I dunno,' he said. 'Never planned for the future. I don't think any of us, have.'

'Not even a bit?' Alex asked. Birkhoff shook his head. 'Mikey's got no idea what he's gonna do. I know Nikita wants a home but can't think of life when she gets there. I sure as hell am stuck for ideas. Your navy seal might just be the only one with a plan.'

'He's not my navy seal,' muttered Alex, giving Birkhoff a shove. They were interrupted by a loud knock on the door. It startled them into silence.

'It's two a.m.,' Birkhoff stated. 'I don't think anyone paying us a visit at this hour is here to sell cookies.'

'I'm with you on that,' Alex said quietly, grabbing a gun from the kitchen counter and slowly ascending the stairs and approaching the door. Out of peripheral vision, she could see Nikita waiting behind a corner to see who was there. If fighting was necessary, they were going to need whoever they could get, especially with them still half asleep. Alex flung open the door, raising her gun only to meet two familiar faces.

'Jesus, woman, put the damn gun down!' Niko yelped, jumping back and closer to the other person he was supporting.

'Oh my God, Natalia!' Alex cried, her gun clattering to the floor at the state of her old best friend. Bruises were scattered along her arms and her face was covered in blood.

'Some of the blood ain't hers,' Niko assured. 'But the bruises are. She put up a damn good fight. My people got rid of those Russian hit men who attacked her...'

'Gogol,' growled Alex through her teeth, helping Niko lead Natalia through to the living room and lie her down on the couch.

'I tracked you down through the call you made earlier to me,' explained Niko. 'Seeing as you know stuff about her brother...and needed to see her, you were the only people I could think of bringing her to. Where's Sean?'

'What's going on?' Michael asked groggily from the top of the staircase.

'Gogol attacked her,' Alex said without turning her attention from Natalia, who was slipping into unconsciousness. 'I don't why...or how but they did.' She carefully brushed away stray hair from her friend's face.

Birkhoff grimaced at Natalia's wounds. 'Well, at least this means you don't have to go to LA.'

–(*)–

'Well?' Alex asked expectantly, shooting up from her seat in the kitchen as soon as Nikita came into proximity. The elder agent put up a gentle, halting hand. 'She'll be fine,' she promised. 'None of her injuries are critical. She's just exhausted.'

'Is she strong enough for me to see her?' questioned Alex quietly, her voice cracking slightly as she glanced over to Natalia, still lying on the couch.

'Let her rest,' suggested Nikita. 'You can see her tomorrow, Alex.'

Alex looked reluctant, her blue eyes lingering in Natalia's direction, sparkling with tears of anxiety.

'Hey,' Sean murmured softly, pulling her closer to him, rubbing her arm comfortingly. 'She's alive. We can protect her from Gogol here and find out the truth about Niall's dealings with Semak. You should both get some sleep and catch up tomorrow.'

Alex sighed, leaning her head against Sean's chest. 'I guess,' she mumbled. 'Thanks, Nikita.'

'Of course,' smiled Nikita. Alex let Sean guide her up the stairs and back into one of the many rooms that were bedrooms.

'Whatever happens,' Alex said, flopping down on the end of the bed, 'can you stop me from going downstairs until tomorrow morning?'

Sean chuckled. 'I don't think I'll need to do that,' he assured. 'I know that you'll let her be for a few hours.' He brought up a coarse but still feathery gentle hand to her cheek. 'Are you okay?' he whispered. Alex swallowed. 'Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?'

Sean raised one, unamused eyebrow. 'Alex. I know you were trying to keep a straight face in front of Nikita. I mean, she's got enough on her plate at the moment...you don't need her worrying about you. But, apart from this whole 'taking down Division' thing, the only other thing I can do is worry about you so if something's wrong, tell me.'

Alex let out a tearful laugh. 'It's all of this,' she said trembling. 'It's everything. It's Semak, Nikita, Division, Niall, Natalia...' She shook her head, brown curls brushing against her exposed shoulders. 'I just can't help but wonder what's going to happen when it's all over.'

Sean gave her a heart stopping smile, giving her quick kiss. 'Well...when we no longer have to carry guns in our back pockets, you move back in with me and we go out for dinner on Friday nights while doing whatever the hell we want all day.'

Alex bit back another laugh. 'Oh, is that so?'

'Definitely,' Sean promised jokingly, taking Alex's face in his hands. He bore his dark, rich eyes into hers. 'We will make it out of this,' he declared softly.

'I'm not worried about whether you and I will make it out of this,' Alex said in a croaky voice. 'Everyone knows that Nikita would step in front of a firing gun to end this crusade. Owen would risk going to prison for the rest of his life for it. Birkhoff would hack into government computers while Michael would freeze in a bed of snow if it was just to end this fight. The thing that keeps me tossing and turning at night is...' She closed her eyes tightly. '...it's whether everyone else will make it out, too. This is the closest thing I've had to a family in seven years. I can't lose them, too.'

A/N: ooh, some very serious talking here! And yes, we finally get to meet Natalia! :) Please review, I need you guys to persuade me to write my ass off and deliver the next chapter!

You guys have been amazing with the support on this story! Keep it coming and I SWEAR the updates will become more regular! :) xx

-C