Chapter 12: Blind Hope

Jacob sighed and pushed the needle through the piece of popcorn in his hands. He was trying to stay focused on their craft for the evening, but he kept sneaking glances at the girl beside him as she worked. He could still hardly believe that Renesmee was there, in his house, on Christmas day. Not only had she played along with his 'Boyfriend for Christmas' idea, she had eaten it up and then some. Jacob had no way of knowing his plan would turn out as well as it had, but he was certainly he had decided to go ahead and do it. He could hardly wait to thank Leah for telling him what Nessie really wanted for Christmas. When he had overheard her say 'a boyfriend' on the phone, it had only been by chance. He had taken the idea and run with it, and it was a complete success.

Renesmee caught his gaze and gave him a tiny smile as she neatly strung the popcorn onto the twine. Things had been a little tense for a few moments after he made them slow down, but he supposed that was alright. Renesmee had been ready to take their relationship to a level he had barely dared to dream about a few hours ago. It had taken nothing but sheer iron will to stop her, but he knew he had to. If they took that step he knew they both had to be ready. He couldn't imagine going backwards after something like that.

After speaking with Edward, Jacob knew he had to be on his best behavior, plain and simple. He had meant what he had said; he didn't want Renesmee to regret anything about their night together. Although it had been more that fun to dry hump like teenagers he knew he didn't trust himself to not go any further.

Jacob glanced sideways at Renesmee as she sat next to him in front of the couch. After changing into one of his long, oversized flannel shirts for the night she had returned in her borrowed wear with a sexy grin that made him want to devour her all over again. However, Edward's words rung in his ears.

"I know you're meant to be with her Jacob, but just remember that it's been one day. One day. If your rush her into anything she's not ready for, I'll make sure you are never able to reproduce, is that clear?"

A shiver ran down his spine. As a shape shifting, vampire killing giant wolf, not many things made him quiver.

An angry father was the exception.

Yes, he was certainly on his best behavior for the rest of the night.

They were settled on the floor doing an activity that would hopefully keep them from doing anything too forward. He had talked her into stringing popcorn for the tree like they had for her first Christmas at Charlie's house. He could still remember the way she had eaten more popcorn than she had put on the string. He could still hear Sue Clearwater and Charlie playfully chiding her to save some for the Christmas tree. Back then, it had been an activity to make her first and possibly only Christmas memorable and special. Now, it more of a distraction to help them to keep their hands to themselves.

Because all he could think about was moving forward and not at a slow pace.

Feeling her writhe against his hand and moan in his ear as he had gotten her off earlier had been unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Making Renesmee happy had always made him feel good, but he'd never been able to make her that happy before. It was amazing. And sadly, he didn't trust himself to not take things too far. Renesmee had made it clear that she was more than willing but he simply couldn't do that to her. It had been just that morning when he had shown up on her doorstep with a Santa hat and a blind hope that she would take his silly idea and run with it. She had, and they had spent the entire day together as temporary boyfriend and girlfriend.

But now the problem was he didn't know where that left them. Renesmee had used him at her disposal all day, claiming that boyfriends and girlfriends made out and got each other off and dry humped on couches. He knew that was true, but also that boyfriends and girlfriends did other things as well.

More things.

Naked things.

He shuddered again as he drove the plastic needle through another piece of popcorn. It splintered and fell off the string, making him growl in frustration before simply shoving his hand in the giant bowl and stuffing his mouth with popcorn. Beside him, Renesmee giggled.

"You're not supposed to eat it Jacob!"

"I was…hungry?"

She clicked her tongue at him and easily kept stringing bits of popcorn onto her strand. It was already six feet long and as perfect as everything else she ever did, so at least they would have one strand to add to the tree. She paused again to watch as he struggled with his big clumsy fingers to string the popcorn.

"I totally suck at this," he whined. Behaving was hard, damn it.

"It doesn't have to be perfect," she laughed. "I remember eating the popcorn while doing this too."

"I was just thinking about that. Your first Christmas. That feels like forever ago."

"Seems that way, yeah," she laughed. "Thank you for this by the way," she said finally.

Jacob paused, looking over at her. "For what?"

Renesmee smiled, reaching over to brush his hair away from his eyes. "For today. For everything."

She let her hand fall back down to her lap, turning to stare bashfully at the string of popcorn that lay there. "I'm sorry if I was forward before. I didn't mean to get you in trouble with my dad."

Jacob snorted, shaking his head. "You didn't, he just…threatened it. If things went too fast for your liking."

"I'm not the one that stopped," she reminded him with a poke. Jacob laughed until he remembered the tone of Edward's voice on the phone an hour ago. He didn't doubt that Nessie's father meant what he had said. But as he watched his imprint sit beside him, her bronzed waves falling over her shoulder as she sat beside him….Edward's voice grew increasingly quieter in his mind. Renesmee had grown into such a beautiful woman that it almost wasn't fair. She was his perfect match, his other half and was sitting next to him like bait.

He sighed. His sensitive nose could smell the way Nessie's scent mixed softly with the smell of his flannel shirt she wore. Instead of only smelling his own scent, it was now mixed with soft undertones of strawberries and something else floral and pretty that he couldn't quite place. He stared at the fire crackling in the fireplace in front of them, his mind going back to when he was a child. His mother used to clip the purple flowers from the bushes and bring them into their house in the spring. Their scent would waft through the house, clinging to her clothes until she smelled like the pretty blossoms. The bushes still bloomed every May and made him think of his mother.

"You're a million miles away," she said softly, turning her head.

He blinked and snapped back to the present. "Your smell," he started, looking over at her. He met her brown eyed gaze and had to blink again to remind himself that this was all real. "You smell like lavender. The flowers my mom used to grow in our front yard."

"I do?"

He nodded. "You always have, but I just now placed it. Weird. I always associated that smell with my mom, and…now I associate it with you."

Renesmee chewed her lip and watched him closely.

"Is that creepy?"

"No," she said slowly. "Why do you think that is?"

He only shrugged as he struggled to conjure up his mother's face in his mind. "I guess because…you're my imprint. Maybe the 'made for each other' thing comes into play there. Maybe it's my mom's seal of approval on you," he said, giving her a smile. "I'd like to think so anyway."

Renesmee ducked her head and laughed. "I sure hope so. It would be nice to have your mom like me."

Jacob leaned against the back of the couch and slid his arm around her shoulders. He didn't miss the way Nessie automatically curled against him, her task of stringing popcorn long forgotten. Her body seemed to mold with his. "I wish I could have met her."

"Me too. But she would have really loved you, you know that right?"

"I hope so," Renesmee said slowly. She lifted her head off of Jacob's shoulder. "Do you really think we're meant to be together? Like this?"

He stared at her for a moment, watching as her gaze turned slightly worrisome. His hand tightened on her shoulder and he nodded. "I always have. I just didn't know how we were supposed to be together until now."

Hello again! I know a few of you thought I had forgotten about this lil story, but I haven't! Real Life has just been crazy the past week or so, so it took me awhile to get back into the swing of this. But I am, and I'll write until I'm out of ideas for these two.

That said, be sure to follow me on Twitter for updates! TwilightCakes - and shoot me a tweet so I know to follow back!

Happy Holidays all : )

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