A/N: the ownership of naruto is in Masashi Kishimoto's possession.
in the hokage's office.
"GEEZ-GAKI" complained a silver haired Sannin as he tried to get the blood out of his ears, along with the other three occupants of the room, "we may be old but we aren't deaf yet.", Which earned him a smack from the 'in denial' sannin, who had somehow sobered herself up in three seconds flat.
"WHO'S OLD? YOU OLD TOAD?", Yelled Tsunade as Orchimaru snickered in the background at her unintentional rhyme. Jiraiya took the blow and sailed out the window, which he caught just in time, flipping himself back into the room. Causing everyone to sweat drop at the entire, and rather pointless exchange, except Orochimaru who took out a notepad and scribbled everything that had transpired while muttering to himself.
"Hey Oro-oji" whispered the jinchuriki, "whatcha writing there?"
"Jusssst a passssssstime of mine, besssssssidessssssss did you think gama-baka was the only writer?" responded the snake sannin, "I plan to make a comedy one day and these to provide all the 'data' I need." He then proceeded to break up the two of them who had gotten into, of all things, an argument on whether or not Jiraiya had been ogling Tsunade again.
"If you don't mind STUDENTS!" interrupted the hokage suddenly "Aren't we here to warn him and congratulate the kid about something?" The Sannin stopped fighting, which was awkward because Orochimaru's hand was on Tsunade's crotch, it was hastily removed, however, and he hid the 200 yen he got from Jiraiya for winning the bet that he couldn't cop a feel while fighting a woman. "NOW, then" he paused passing Orochimaru his money, "Naruto I hereby promote you to the rank of chu…". The sickening scent from earlier returned and caused Naruto to retch and vomit all over the Hokage's paperwork causing the Hokage to 'sadly' and 'angrily' burn it all to ashes. "nin... what by the Rikudo Sennin's left testicle was that for!" he exclaimed, " not that I care, but seriously WHAT THE…"
Kakashi burst through the door, "Hokage-sama there's something wrong with Sasuke, his chakra network is decaying!" shocked stares met the jonin. Oh fuck! Came a voice out of 'nowhere', she's back.
This voice caused all the ninja, save Naruto himself of course, turned to face said jinchuriki with the expression 'what the fuck!' on their faces. Naruto sighed and explained that, because of his unique bloodline he had a bond with several different spirits, each embodying a different aspect of nature, although he'd only met two of them so far; Zephyr, the wind spirit and Safara, the embodiment of fire. "And the answer to your question of 'what the fuck!' is I don't have a clue. Care to enlighten us?" this last question was aimed at the spirits. 'We need to see the boy to be absolutely sure', responded Zephyr in a breeze 'but Safara and I have a pretty good idea of who is behind this.' "Who?" inquired the jinchuriki, 'she calls herself Washurai' she explained, 'No one remembers her true name or why she calls herself that but…there is someone at the door.' The doors burst open as a murder of crows flocked into the room, reforming into the shape of one, VERY pissed off Itachi Uchiha.
"YOU BROKE YOUR…" Itachi had to pause as a blonde haired orange blob flung itself at the Uchiha. After a few seconds Jiraiya had him by the collar of his jump suit, and Naruto, still struggling felt a sense of betrayal. 'Calm yourself kit.' Sounded a voice in his head 'We will know why the traitor is here soon enough, AND THEN we can feast on his carcass if we don't like the answer.'
Relief that at least one person was on his side Naruto stopped struggling against the much more experienced Sannin. Itachi resumed glaring at Sarutobi, "YOU promised to keep my brother two things Sarutobi; Ignorant and Pure, so WHY IS HE IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL WITH A CORRUPTED CHAKRA NETWORK!?" He glared at Orochimaru.
"Hey!" Retorted the snake Sannin "I don't do that type of thing hatchling. " His eyes had vertical slits and he was leaking KI and you could see the aura of a giant white snake with bared fangs.
"Calm your venom sacs Orochimaru." Joked Jiraiya, "Don't let the tadpole get on your nerves so quickly.". Orochimaru let the aura and KI vanish but his eyes kept their slits and he retained an overall snake like appearance.
"I am waiting FOR AN EXPLAINATION HERE!" Yelled Naruto, as he had gotten sick and tired of waiting "someone better start giving me answers or I will prank you guys so hard they will tell cautionary tales about it FIVE HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW!"
Sarutobi sighed and explained about the Uchiha rebellion attempt and Itachi's role in preventing it, the deal to save Sasuke's life and how Itachi was a spy for the village. He went on to explain that, due to the Akatsuki's growing secrecy he had "banished" the Sannin in order to keep better track of their movements, the fact that they had founded their own ninja village only helped them keep their cover. "And so that's where we are now." He looked over at Kakashi who had gone blank in the face from all the information, "Jiraiya give the poor guy your new book. That should reset him to normal."
The effect was immediate, with Kakashi acting like Naruto had been told it was free ramen day at ichiraku's. "SMUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTT!" Squealed the Jonin as he nearly glomped the legendary super pervert, and received the signed book, which he immediately opened and got a bloody nose from the concentrated filth that resides between the covers of the "book" which is more like one continuous lemon with a plot interrupting from time to time.
"So," Naruto stated in summation, " We are going to the hospital to see what we can do for Sasuke-teme now right?"
A/N: It's finished, shout outs to everyone who added this story to their alerts and favorites, it's always comforting to know that I'm being stalked by so many people (lol), but seriously though folks, if you are serious about liking my story REVIEW! See you all next chapter, but until then JA NE!