Chapter 11:
Izuku's POV:
"FARTFUCK!"
"That's new. Thought you were gonna say something else."
"I know when things end which is why I make this type of jokes, Deku."
"The fuck do you mean about things ending? Eh, fuck it. Let's eat lunch."
"You're treating me to lunch, Izuku."
"Fuck, I forgot. Consider that our second date then."
"You cheap bastard. Let's do it." That pretty much sums up how Mei and I are dating. "HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME?!"
"You just so happened to follow us at your own free will. Go buy your own food, third wheel!"
"OH NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T! I'M THE FUCKING ROMANCE EXPERT HERE, YOU SHITTY FUCKING NERD!" He angrily stomps away in an opposite direction of the cafeteria. He must've realized this when he stopped to scream another cuss before going to the right direction. "I WASN'T GOING THE WRONG WAY, DEKU! THE CAFETERIA WAS JUST IN THE WRONG PLACE, GOT IT?!"
"Whatever you say, Kacchan." We went on to the cafeteria and I bought her some chocolate ice cream while I bought some of those Katsudon. The cafeteria's pretty much packed except for one area with Ojiro, Tooru, and some little girl with one horn and white hair with some cat headphones on. We walked up to them and that quickly got their attention. "Hey Ojiro, mind if we sit here with you?"
"Go ahead. Call me Mash or Rao, by the way." Seems like something a rockstar would use. I'm not really sure. I heard some guy call himself 'Fluffy Unicorn' in a Death Metal band once. He got the unicorn outfit on while his bandmates were dress like the fucking horsemen of apocalypse or shit like that. They make good shit but I digress. "Who's the kid, Mash?"
"Oh, uh, she's my little sister, Eri."
"You look nothing alike. Quirks are weird."
"Yeah, something like that."
"Hey, kid, nice to meet ya." I waved at her but she ignored me as she continues to eat her candy apple. Eh, I could deal with that. "What's she listening on that headphones, Mash?"
"I don't know. Ask her." He gave Eri a pat on the head and signaled her to let me borrow her headphones. She nodded and handed it to me. I placed it on my ear to listen to the music.
THE RECKONING
THE SICKENING
BACK AT YOU, SUBVERSION
PSEUDO-SACRED WITH PSYCHO VIRGIN
I quickly took it off my head and shakily gave it back to Eri. My face was blank the entire time. Well at least it wasn't K-Pop. I have this weird hate for K-Pop that I could never explain why. Listen to whatever the fuck you want. I mean, I like Vaporwave. "So what was she listening to, Midoriya?" I looked at him blankly and said, "She got good taste, Mash."
"Good to know." We continued to chat while we were eating but there is something I wanted to talk to Mash about. "So, Mash, I know it's none of my business but I'm curious. Are you and Tooru dating?"
"It's com-"
"We definitely are," Tooru interrupts. "Right, Eri?" She nudges Eri but she completely ignores her and continues to eat her fifth candy apple. "C'mon Eri, help your big brother's girlfriend here!"
"No." That was slightly funny. Kids are the best when it comes to instant shutdowns. "Nice save, Eri." Mash pats Eri in the head which resulted in a really cute scene. I could definitely see the brother-sister relationship on this one even at Tooru's expense. "Don't mind Eri. We're definitely dating."
"Okay then, how did you two start off?"
"He saved my life." Well that's one way to start a relationship. "That's all? No offense but that feels a little too shallow."
"EXACTLY!" Even Mash agrees with me. "He's more than that. Maybe after the festival, you can come over to our apartment. We're practically living together at this point with Eri."
"Why isn't Eri staying with their parents?"
"Her school is actually near my apartment so I kinda just let her live with me." Huh, fair enough. We finished up our lunch and went back to the stadium since the fighting is about to start. Mei and I are the first match of the day so we didn't want to be late. "Good luck on the fights, Mash. I won't go easy on you."
"Good luck with yours too, Midoriya. I wouldn't dream of anyone going easy on me."
We reached the entrance of our side of the tunnel and did a bit of stretches before walking out. "AND HERE ARE THE CONTENDERS OF THE FIRST MATCH FOR TODAY! THE OVERPOWERED UNDERRATED UNDERDOG TEAM! IZUKU MIDORIYA AND MEI HATSUME!"
"Your description for them is too long and cheesy, Mic."
"WELL EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME, ERASER!"
"On the other side, we got students from Class 1B, the team of-"
"BOTH OF THEM MANAGED TO HOLD ON TO THEIR POINTS AT THE LAST GAME AND HAVE MANAGED TO MAKE IT TO THE LAST ROUND! THE MAN OF STEEL AND THE HOLY LADY, TETSUTETSU TETSUTETSU AND SHIOZAKI IBARA!"
We looked at the opposing tag team. We see the virgin Mary and an iron giant that isn't actually a giant. "Well, good luck you two."
"I'll wipe that arrogant grin off your face, arrogant bastards."
"We're not even smiling."
"Repent sinners, for Rock'n'Roll is the devil's work. God will bestow upon you his wrath for performing such music." Oh that pissed me off. Kacchan started screaming. "YOU BETTER RUN NOW, YA RELIGIOUS BITCH! YOU JUST INSULTED THE WRONG MUSIC GENRE!" Boy, was he right.
"No matter, the God Almighty shall protect me from the works of the devil." She's in for a surprise when she finds out that the big G is a Rockstar himself. Nonetheless, "Mei, mercy's off the table."
"Music to my ears." The match ended real quick. As soon as Midnight started the match, Mei just straight up launched me with her catapult that she totally always had as I divebomb these two motherfuckers. I put the speakers on my shoes at max volume and played 'Highway to Hell'. Both got buried halfway into the ground but Tetsutetsu managed to break out. It didn't matter when Mei blasted him off the line with her rifle as she ran up to Shiozaki and punted her into unconsciousness.
"Huh, that was quick."
"THAT COULD BE ONE OF THE FASTEST MATCHES EVER FOUGHT IN THE SPORTS FESTIVAL! THE TEAM IZUMEI HAVE LITERALLY BURIED THE OTHER TEAM FASTER THAN TRIPLE H BURIES PROMISING TALENT!"
"Well, on to the next match. The faster this is over, the better sleep I'll get."
"OH COME ON, DON'T BE LIKE THAT, ERASER!"
"Better. Sleep."
"WELL, MOVING ON TO THE NEXT CONTENDERS THEN!"
Mei and I fistbumped as we walked out the ring. We met Todoroki and Momo halfway to the tunnel and said our good luck at them. "Meet ya in the next round. I wouldn't underestimate Chestnut and Iida if I were you."
"I've seen what they can do. I will end this before they could get the jump on me." I gave him a thumbs up and walked off towards the seats.
Asshole's POV:
That was fucking fast but I can't say those two motherfuckers didn't deserve it. You don't insult something Deku loves. That vine bitch is gonna be surprised on who the motherfucker in charge really is when she dies. I digress. Next up was Icyhot's team against Glasses and Round face. I'm not the type to be fucking biased but I'm pretty sure Icyhot's got this in the bag. Only problem is it's probably gonna take him a long time before he beats them. I know Round Face isn't the type to give up easily and I'm curious if Glasses can outrun the ice.
"ON THE LEFT SIDE, WE GOT MISTER HOT 'N' COLD AND MISS CREATIVITY, TODOROKI SHOUTO AND YAOYOZORU MOMO! ON THE RIGHT SIDE, WE GOT THE BLUE SPEEDSTER AND THE FLYING UNDERDOG, IIDA TENYA AND URARAKA OCHACO!"
"Todoroki's got this in the bag, right, Bakugou?" Pikachu. Dumb as always but he got his perks. "It ain't gonna be that easy, dumbass. Don't look down on these two just cause daddy's boy is fighting them."
"Daddy's boy? That's new. You know something about Todoroki that we don't, dude?" Oh great, Shitty Hair's gonna summon Raccoon Eyes from the depths of hell just by saying that aaaannnndddd there she fucking is. "Daddy's boy? Are you two dating?" For fuck's sake.
"Shut the fuck up. Why do you associate everything with dating?"
"Cause I'm a dating expert!"
"How many boyfriends you ever got?" That shut her up quick. Good. I got her in the corner. "Don't go talking big on me about dating if you never dated anybody and stop playing god on our love lives. It's damn annoying when one of your friends are so fucking retarded that they don't know the meaning of nana."
"What's a nana?"
"MINA NO!"
"NANA YOUR FUCKIN' BUSINESS BITCH!" Gottem. Why do they always fall for that joke? "Well at least he called me his friend."
Suddenly, a big chunk of ice went straight for us and almost hit Pikachu. I acted quick and used an explosion to destroy it. Icyhot failed to freeze both his targets somehow but he almost hit us. Fuck's sake. "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING, ICYHOT!" He ignored me and kept trying to freeze them while Yaoyorozu continues to put spikes on the ground so Glasses won't be able to move around.
"IT LOOKS LIKE YAOYOROZU IS TRYING TO PREVENT IIDA FROM GAINING ANY GROUND SO TODOROKI WOULD BE ABLE TO TRAP HIM!"
"Yaoyorozu by far, have one of the most useful quirks in her class and she always have a plan. Her strategic mind would be second only to another student in my class."
Wonder what they're gonna do now. Glasses just started destroying the ice probably from frustration and shit like that. Unless, ah shit. I see what they're trying to do. Unless Icyhot or Yaoyorozu looks up, their plan would be pretty solid. There's only one flaw, of course. Icyhot will use his fire. In fact, he resorted to just trying to blast Glasses with it but it's creating steam every time it hits the ice. Round Face is nowhere to be found and Yaoyorozu is pulling a spread fire with a light machine gun like some Vietnam War Veteran.
"WHAT'S HAPPENING? I CAN'T SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING."
"This has been part of Iida and Uraraka's plan. Todoroki can utilize his quirk better if he had a clear sight of his targets. Of course, he could simply freeze everything but he might freeze his partner by accident. This is a smart move from the other team. I can already see what they're planning."
"What's happening? Got any idea, Bakubro?"
"Look up, Shitty Hair." The sky's covered with broken chunks of ice courtesy of Round Face. She'd be fun to fight. "No way. A fragile girl can't possibly think of that?"
"What part of her is fragile, Pikachu? Shut the fuck up, you were the first to lose in the second event and that technically makes you more fragile than her."
"You don't have to put salt in the wound!"
"I don't have to but I definitely want to. Stop talking and start watching." Fire's blasting out of the mist in almost every direction. There's no clear winner yet. "RECIPRO BURST!" A yell came from the mist and Yaoyorozu was sent flying out of it and falling down unconscious.
"AND IT LOOKS LIKE IIDA MANAGED TO TAKE YAOYOROZU OUT! IT'S NOW A 2V1 HANDICAP MATCH! CAN TODOROKI BE ABLE TO TURN THIS AROUND?"
The mist finally clears with and Glasses who was frozen mid kick just beside Icyhot. Looks like it's only him and Round Face left.
"WHAT'S THIS? IIDA HAS BEEN FROZEN MID KICK AND IS UNABLE TO MOVE. IT LOOKS LIKE BOTH HIM AND YAOYOROZU IS OUT OF THE MATCH. CAN URARAKA BE ABLE TO DO THIS BY HERSELF?"
"You underestimate her too much, Mic. She's got a plan from what it seems."
She's doing Ninja Hand Signs at this point before shouting release. Icyhot's eyes widen before looking up to see a huge fucking glacier falling down on him. He quickly raised his left hand and let out a large torrent of blue fucking flames and instantly melting the ice. It did come with a cost though since I could see burns on his left arm. Looks like he's not as immune as he thinks to that blue flame. Round Face got a nice plan but Icyhot's just too powerful. She run straight at him while his open but suddenly collapsed from nausea.
"AND URARAKA'S FINALLY… out. AW."
"You're not supposed to be biased as a commentator. She did a good job but Todoroki's quirk is just too powerful. Team Todoroki wins."
"Well, I guess it's me and Tsuyu next. Wish me luck, guys!"
"Fuck off."
"Good luck, Mina!"
"Thanks!"
"Kero."
"We're up next, Mash! What do you want me to do?"
"Try not to kill them, Tooru." What's an invisible girl gonna do? Well, she might as well be full of surprises for all I care. My match is much later but I already can't wait. That purple guy's rubbing me the wrong way and Rainbow laser has been acting off his usual attention whore gig. I wonder what's happening. I would have told Deku to keep an eye on him but it looks like he's either fucking Eye Bitch in a restroom stall right now or staying with her at the Support Course's stands. Fucking asshole with his fucking girlfriend. This time, I'll beat him for real.
{- To Be Continued...
Well that's the first part of the third event. Hope you enjoyed that. I based Ibara's attitude on Rock'n'Roll from Jack Black's dad in the Pick of Destiny. Great movie, btw. Should've made Izuku play Kickapoo but Highway to Hell's a lot more fitting. Oh and Eri is here but I'm too lazy to explain how. The explanation's at my Side Story. Anyways, this will be the last chapter for the year. Hope you guys have a happy new year. BUT FIRST! Let me fucking rant this out so I don't complain about this shit next year:
Izuku and Harems. I don't fucking get it. 90% of the fucking stories make him like some kind of sex god or something with 1A girls and probably the 1B girls thirsting for him. I don't get Harems in general. Like, the first harem i've seen is when girls fell for this really uninteresting guy for some reason and I fell asleep halfway through the first fucking chapter. I don't know if they fucking do this to stroke their own fucking ego and I don't wanna know why they fucking do this. It may be fanservice or just some fucked up fetish or something but if you're just trying to kill Izuku's dick, then you need to get some professional help. Izuku instantly becomes this weird fucking therapist to help the girls with all their problems and chooses to love them all fucking equally as they try to suck his fucking dick. Seriously, now I know why they call him Green Naruto. In fact, if you're gonna make a shitty fucking harem just to get Izuku some pussy, you might as well genderbend every guy except for Izuku and have him fuck them too. Actually, you might as well add some other girls from other fucking franchises while your at it. Hell, genderbend the guys there and have them fight for his dick, too. Can you imagine a female Thanos lapping at his dick? Don't actually do that for the love of god. Everytime someone makes a harem, we take a fucking rocket away from god. Like seriously ship whatever the fuck you want, but don't you think a harem's just overcompensating for something? The most I can deal with is a love triangle, but jegus crust. The only thing worse is a self-insert OC Mary Sue with a god-like quirk, a hair that's colored like rainbows, having a fuckin' sharingan getting a harem. I don't fucking know, man. I just wanted to let this out. This shit is more insane than shipping a Bully with his Victim.
That's just my opinion on the matter. If that's how you fucking sway, I can't really stop you. In fact, if anyone could make a harem with an actual good story, I'll be... well I can't make empty promises. Ok, maybe I'll make a shitty one-shot Izuku x Everyone harem if someone could actually make or show me a harem with a good story. PEACE!